LafayetteLady
Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
quote:
ORIGINAL: ValkyrieCane
i'm looking for advice on how to make first time meets safer, for me and anyone else who might be involved. Any suggestion, thoughts or advice, please let me know!
Thanks,
val
Well, what kind of meet are you going for? Are you meeting a potential friend for coffee or are you making to meet to scene with someone at their home?
And it is that very distinction that makes all the difference in the world. Before there was internet dating sites, I don't think that people had all these concerns about "safety" when going on a first date. Many seem to say that is because they had already met face to face, as though that means anything.
With internet dating, we aren't in a situation where we meet someone while out somewhere public, talk to them and then get asked for a date. But you ARE talking to them and determining whether or not there is an interest. Of course, what you see in a picture or hear over the phone is not a gauge of whether or not someone is trustworthy, and so reasonable "precautions" should be taken before meeting a stranger.
But what IS reasonable? Reasonably, we should know the name of the person we are meeting. Reasonably, we should tell someone that we are going to meet someone, where, what time, etc. But reasonably, we should do this in many ordinary circumstances. Just meeting a known friend for coffee or telling someone you are going out to a club with friends, so a room mate or friend has an idea of your whereabouts could be considered a safety precaution. After all, you could easily suffer a flat tire or mechanical failure or be "abducted" by a crazy at the club, so someone knowing where you were last is helpful, right?
I guess my point is that I always wonder about these questions whether someone means "how can I make meeting someone I never met for a play date safer," or is there actually a real fear about meeting a stranger at the local Starbucks? Because simply telling a friend you are meeting someone named "X" for coffee on Tuesday at 7:30 at the Starbucks down town is more than "safe" enough. But if you are planning on meeting "X" at the local "No Tell Motel" so they can tie you up and cane you, nothing you do is really for your "safety," it is really all making sure that if you are found dead or disappear, there is a "ground zero" for the police to start investigating.
Now I'm not saying that meeting someone you (general you) never met before for a "play date" is going to result in your death or dismemberment. I admit that years ago, I had someone over to my home that I never met before in my life and there were NO safety precautions in place other than my own ability to take care of myself. Nothing went wrong, and I still am friendly with the man today. I believe that more often than not, these types of meetings don't result in death or dismemberment.
But the reality is that if you are going to meet someone to "play" when you have never met them before, if they are a crazed lunatic, no safety measure in the world is going to protect you. Likewise, if you are just meeting at the local Starbucks for coffee, taking all kinds of "safety precautions" as though you are meeting a crazed lunatic and need to protect yourself is overkill. Simply letting someone know you have a "blind date" (no need to even talk about BDSM at all) at the local coffee house and expect to be home by 10 should be enough.
People seem to feel a need to go crazy with over the top safety precautions that, in my opinion, really don't amount to that much safety at all.
|
Safety concerns - 
Profile
RE: Safety concerns - 
) with me in case things didn't go well. I always let someone know where I was, who I was with, how long I would be out, and called if anything changed. That was enough. With one glaring exception (and that wasn't a first date btw) it really was all that was necessary. Then again, I didn't go home with people or to hotels or even "private" spots. I wasn't, and still am not, into that. I did the same with every first meet when I started this. 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread