quote:

ORIGINAL: sleepingbeauty2

a doormat is easily stepped upon. I am not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
this slave thinks you should start a new thread, osf...to all the dominants out there who don't want control/authority...what exactly are they after, then? the responses could shed some light.

im gonna write a song and call it "i wanna dom to be my doomat so i can tell him who i really am!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Actually, all of them. you truly have no idea what you are referring too when you state all submissives are doormats. Not all dominants want control. Its that "all" or "none" theory to most of your posts that i object too.

now I'm confused what is a dominant doing there if not to exercise some level of control?

this slave thinks you should start a new thread, osf...to all the dominants out there who don't want control/authority...what exactly are they after, then? the responses could shed some light.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Actually, all of them. you truly have no idea what you are referring too when you state all submissives are doormats. Not all dominants want control. Its that "all" or "none" theory to most of your posts that i object too.

now I'm confused what is a dominant doing there if not to exercise some level of control?

quote:

The entire concept of a D/s dynamic is moot without the element of control.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

It's a bit like somebody who likes sex, and somebody that has a sexual addition problem. Compare that thought for a moment to Control.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Please don't try to change this reality! Without being able to witness such insecurity or read such hypocrisy and rationalization on a regular basis; there would be no sadistic entertainment value provided by CM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

It's a bit like somebody who likes sex, and somebody that has a sexual addition problem. Compare that thought for a moment to Control.

Except that the concept of addiction is a bit porous, particularly trying to relate it to relationship issues.

My dominance in relationships is not based on "liking" it (I do, but it's not an active decision), it's based on the fact that that is how I gravitate when in a relationship. It's a personal trait. I also happen to seek out greater extremes on the control spectrum.

There is no "problem" with control in any situation save the degree of non-consensuality. The amount of a specific thing being greater does not proportionally bring it closer to the realm of "problem".

A dominant in a relationship who is not, to at least some degree, exerting control in the relationship isn't actually a dominant but just a relationship partner (and that's not a 'true-wayism' comment, it's a semantic matter of fact).

quote:

Perhaps if you wrote an educational pamphlet as to how to become ironclad to the negativity wrought from the illogical and inane thinking that can often saturate the WIITWD community, we could all benefit from seeing it as sadistic entertainment all the time

• #10: A pamphlet requires the use of words, understanding the intent requires agreement on the definitions of those words. As prima facie evidence that isn't possible - I submit this thread.
  
• #9: It would be a pamphlet if the reading could 'head bob' to it. It would be 'one-true-way' dogma for those who disagreed.
  
• #8: A confident mindset can only be developed. It can not be taught. Once you had one, you wouldn't read the pamphlet. If you don't have one - you'd condemn the name of the pamphlet without reading it.
  
• #7: Enjoying "sadistic" pleasure requires a sadistic nature.
  
• #6: Not everyone in the world is a sadist and some of that "illogical" and "inane" posting come from sources seeking a response to their masochistic goals.
  
• #5: Without negativity, the lives of many people on CM would be empty.
  
• #4: Anything requiring the use of 'iron cladding' contributes to global warming. (I've already used up my 'Gore carbon offsets'.)
  
• #3: I don't want to be considered as 'Luther'; a 'heretic' to the very religion he loved in its most basic form. Similarly pointing out that the community has become as corrupted as it has became 'popular' would run the risk of becoming a 'fundamental' movement.
  
• #2: You have to have confident "ironclad" happiness in your life to be impervious to "negativity". A pamphlet can't provide it.
  
  And the #1 reason:
  
  
• As a 'dominant' I don't comply with anyone's request. If I came up with this idea on my own - maybe. However since its your idea - I can NOT submit and risk being a 'doormat' to your desires!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
this slave thinks you should start a new thread, osf...to all the dominants out there who don't want control/authority...what exactly are they after, then? the responses could shed some light.

im gonna write a song and call it "i wanna dom to be my doomat so i can tell him who i really am!"

Don't worry, you just might be in luck, some guys have a three rule system just for your needs. :-P Talk about thread bleed now.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3083346

quote:

Daddy - does not have the same negative connoctations
Now what Negatives are associated with "Daddy" as a stand alone word from the get go????

quote:

All words are not true Equal!! Damn I fucking Hate Relatism!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Daddy - does not have the same negative connoctations
Now what Negatives are associated with "Daddy" as a stand alone word from the get go????

From the get go Jaycee Dugard had to call her kidnapper/rapist Phillip Garrido "daddy". You think she was just participating voluntarily in age play with him for 18 years?

quote:

All words are not true Equal!! Damn I fucking Hate Relatism!!

I totally agree! I hate relativism too!!

• "That's true for you but not for me." "My truth is the only truth"
  
• "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." "All beauty is the same."
  
• "You can't judge other cultures by the standards of your own." "I get to judge cultures by my standards alone"
  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Daddy - does not have the same negative connoctations
Now what Negatives are associated with "Daddy" as a stand alone word from the get go????

From the get go Jaycee Dugard had to call her kidnapper/rapist Phillip Garrido "daddy". You think she was just participating voluntarily in age play with him for 18 years?

quote:

All words are not true Equal!! Damn I fucking Hate Relatism!!

I totally agree! I hate relativism too!!

Aren't we all buying into it when it fits our needs? You included.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relativism

Relativism is the idea that some elements or aspects of experience or culture are relative to, i.e., dependent on, other elements or aspects. Common statements that might be considered relativistic include:

• "That's true for you but not for me." "My truth is the only truth"
  
• "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." "All beauty is the same."
  
• "You can't judge other cultures by the standards of your own." "I get to judge cultures by my standards alone"
  

If we didn't we'd all agree with one way of doing things when it comes to wiitwd and life in general for that matter.

I like it to a degree. I mean I could say nothing is relative and begin passing out said pamphlets which of course everyone would say "Hey ya know..your right..let's do it this way"
That seems to be what your saying.

quote:

I will how disagree with your assement of the vanilla world, because our worlds are actually one in the same, given that we are a sub-culture to the culture we live in. We are a sub-culture to the so-called Vanilla world. Perhaps we can debate about at length this sub-topic, on another thread, or within reason on this thread.

We are of course an offshoot but that doesn't mean we have to stay or play by the larger cultures rules entirely. Nor are we beholden to placate to that culture with our actions


As you said you know some people call their partners "victims", that's okay without question. However, the word "victims" is not in a unique situation where it can become elevated outside of Play or for personal pet name calling. "Doormats" has the potential to become on par with "Little Girls", the "Victim" word does not. These two words are not as equal in nature as you think or believe they are. Again, please read Post 437 and notice what I wrote about sub-labels. It's highly unlikely that the word victim will become used as a sub-label for the type casting of a submissive. The same can be said regarding "fuckmeat".

It might be highly unlikely but that doesn't say anything about anything but probability.

One of the reasons (as I see it) why doormat poses being used as a sub-label for a type of submissive, is because of it's wide spread use in the so called "Vanilla" world (ironic).

I think you meant poses a threat? If so..I won't be worrying about what Grandma Wilkes has to say about my desires lol

quote:

Quick response, Relativism is good to a degree, however when it's over applied and over used and carried to extremes.. it tends to do more harm than good at times. Apply within reason, but don't apply using that as the only principal or view. That's my personal thoughts on it! Because we are do engage in relativism. Using that as a single focus can be bad.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

I will how disagree with your assement of the vanilla world, because our worlds are actually one in the same, given that we are a sub-culture to the culture we live in. We are a sub-culture to the so-called Vanilla world. Perhaps we can debate about at length this sub-topic, on another thread, or within reason on this thread.

We are of course an offshoot but that doesn't mean we have to stay or play by the larger cultures rules entirely. Nor are we beholden to placate to that culture with our actions


As you said you know some people call their partners "victims", that's okay without question. However, the word "victims" is not in a unique situation where it can become elevated outside of Play or for personal pet name calling. "Doormats" has the potential to become on par with "Little Girls", the "Victim" word does not. These two words are not as equal in nature as you think or believe they are. Again, please read Post 437 and notice what I wrote about sub-labels. It's highly unlikely that the word victim will become used as a sub-label for the type casting of a submissive. The same can be said regarding "fuckmeat".

It might be highly unlikely but that doesn't say anything about anything but probability.

One of the reasons (as I see it) why doormat poses being used as a sub-label for a type of submissive, is because of it's wide spread use in the so called "Vanilla" world (ironic).

I think you meant poses a threat? If so..I won't be worrying about what Grandma Wilkes has to say about my desires lol