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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:06:32 AM

Jeffff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Bob is like raiiinnn on your wedding day.

I thought that was good luck?

you will not BREAK ME!

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:12:59 AM

BLoved

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Bob, there are many wonderful people here. Open your eyes.

What makes you think I can't recognize quality people?

Behaviour has always been a reliable guide. Shall I use the examples from this thread, or "A Legend Returns" to decide who is and who is not "wonderful"?

Cheap thrills and immaturity go hand in hand, I expect nothing better.

Your behavior. Your words. Your judgments. Your attitude. Your poor success rate in the face of plenty. Your own description and admission.

Obviously we have very different standards when it comes to "wonderful".

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:15:08 AM

susie

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I guess I was a wannabe then when I first started. I put up an ad on another site just looking for some nsa bdsm play and possibly sex depending on the person I found. I met someone that at first contact did not seem ideal as he was younger than me and a long way from me, but we met and played and had sex, shock horror all on the first meeting. We both must have liked it a lot as we kept going back for more and 6 years on I am in the best relationship of my life.

So restricting a search to a narrow set of parameters can sometimes shoot you in the foot.

susie
happily owned and madly in love

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:18:03 AM

Musicmystery

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quote:

Obviously we have very different standards when it comes to "wonderful".

Obviously you live in your own little world.

We aren't having a discussion about what constitutes wonderful. Reading comprehension, dude.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:18:09 AM

BLoved

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
So you see, it's not just kink folks that have low or high standards...it's people in general.

I know. Low self-esteem has always been a problem. People don't believe they deserve better, so they set standards according to their sense of self-worth, which isn't very high.

And of course, they really despise those who do not share their sense of low self-esteem.

Hell of a society we live in when so many suffer from such a problem.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:19:32 AM

mnottertail

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One never likes to speak ill of the dead, for sure.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:20:26 AM

Musicmystery

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More commonly, those with low self-esteem have to go out trolling to attempt to diminish others to raise themselves in their own assessment.

Sad. Unfortunately, recognizing the problem is the first step, and it's too difficult for some.

You'll be happier when/if you do, though.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:23:12 AM

BLoved

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quote:

ORIGINAL: susie
I guess I was a wannabe then when I first started. I put up an ad on another site just looking for some nsa bdsm play and possibly sex depending on the person I found. I met someone that at first contact did not seem ideal as he was younger than me and a long way from me, but we met and played and had sex, shock horror all on the first meeting. We both must have liked it a lot as we kept going back for more and 6 years on I am in the best relationship of my life.

So restricting a search to a narrow set of parameters can sometimes shoot you in the foot.

susie
happily owned and madly in love

I will not compromise what I need for what I can get.

Nor would I cheapen the gift I have to give by giving it to those who won't value it.

I suppose those who have not known love have nothing better than cheap thrills on their minds.

I've known love ... cheap thrills mean nothing to me. I'd rather be celibate than cheapen myself.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:23:12 AM

Kirata

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Sometimes it pays to stop and consider that the way we see the world and others may be saying more about ourselves than them.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 2/27/2010 8:24:44 AM >

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:23:32 AM

Smutmonger

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Quoted for truth. You need to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with another. Denial is the killer aspect-especially with "Doms" who have no control or contentment in thier own lives-so they go out and seek someone else to enable what they cannot.

It would be sad,were thier chest beating antics not so annoying.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

More commonly, those with low self-esteem have to go out trolling to attempt to diminish others to raise themselves in their own assessment.

Sad. Unfortunately, recognizing the problem is the first step, and it's too difficult for some.

You'll be happier when/if you do, though.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:26:49 AM

BLoved

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
More commonly, those with low self-esteem have to go out trolling to attempt to diminish others to raise themselves in their own assessment.

Asking why some refuse to raise their standards is hardly an example of "trolling to attempt to diminish others".

But it is obvious there are a lot of insecure people who choose to see it that way.

Low standards, immaturity, insecurity, low self-esteem, impatience ... seem to go hand in hand to me.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:26:54 AM

Wolf2Bear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

I just can't find it in me to be bothered showing an interest in someone whose standard is so low as to exclude a loving relationship, but I can see the appeal such a standard has for the wannabes.

Why do so many Canadian female submissives set their standards so low?

Careful there as we were all wannbes at some point before we gained the experience and proper knowledge to explore this lifestyle seriously.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:30:07 AM

Justme696

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I still want to be several things in my life....
don't think that is a bad thing

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:30:24 AM

Kirata

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

Sometimes it pays to stop and consider that the way we see the world and others may be saying more about ourselves than them.

To wit:

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

But it is obvious there are a lot of insecure people who choose to see it that way.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:30:30 AM

BLoved

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata
Sometimes it pays to stop and consider that the way we see the world and others may be saying more about ourselves than them.

Some people are more perceptive than others. Recall the role of the child in "The Emperor's New Clothes".

That people believed the world flat did not make it so.

< Message edited by BLoved -- 2/27/2010 8:32:54 AM >

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:32:20 AM

BLoved

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata
Sometimes it pays to stop and consider that the way we see the world and others may be saying more about ourselves than them.

To wit:

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

But it is obvious there are a lot of insecure people who choose to see it that way.

One man speaking his truth before an angry mob isn't suffering from insecurity, K.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:33:35 AM

KatyLied

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Bob, not everyone can fall in love with every person they meet. Some people have biological needs and are free enough in their thinking that they are able to engage in adult relationships of various types without feeling weird about it. I really think you have some issues with people who find intimacy in lasting relationships that do not conform to your one-twue-way. It is you that has a problem, not others who are comfortable with their choices - they are happy and do not seek your approval. You are extremely close-minded and it is sad to see such a thing in an adult.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:34:09 AM

Kirata

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

Some people are more perceptive than others.

Yeah, that must be it.

Can't you see how the things you say build yourself up and tear other people down?

Why do you suppose you need to do that?

K.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:34:31 AM

Jeffff

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You really believe we are angry, don't you.

You really believe you speak the only truth, don't you.

You are a sad man

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:36:33 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
So you see, it's not just kink folks that have low or high standards...it's people in general.

I know. Low self-esteem has always been a problem. People don't believe they deserve better, so they set standards according to their sense of self-worth, which isn't very high.

And of course, they really despise those who do not share their sense of low self-esteem.

Hell of a society we live in when so many suffer from such a problem.

I don't know if I'd go so far as to say they (whoever they are) despise those who don't share their views so much as

they envy them. Evny, though, is like a poison...it eats away at you until there's no "you" left, only a dark little ball

of flesh made up of unfulfilled wants and dreams. You could call it the "Keeping up with the Jones's" Syndrome...

and again, it has nothing to do with kink.

My questions to you are.... what is the answer? Is it the same answer for everyone? What fulfills you may be

totally different from what fulfills me....does that make one more right than the other? Do the things I want make

me a "wannabe" simply because they don't jive with the things you want or vice versa?

I have a feeling if you decide to respond to this post and my questions that you'll find a way to spin them in your

favor. To be honest, I'm fine with that...I'm too sick and too sleepy to be bothered but I do hope you at least take

the time to give it some thought.

Again....I do wish you the best of luck in your search.

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