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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:40:30 AM   
BLoved


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

Some people are more perceptive than others.

Yeah, that must be it.

Can't you see how the things you say build yourself up and tear other people down?

Why do you suppose you need to do that?


Again, I can see those who are insecure choosing to view things that way.

I take it you do not see me provoking thought on the question of standards and why so many set their sights so low.

And so you, like so many others, jump for the jugular.

Upon whom do you suppose that reflects?

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:40:40 AM   
thishereboi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery


quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Bob, there are many wonderful people here. Open your eyes.


MM, what makes you think I can't recognize quality people?

Behaviour has always been a reliable guide. Shall I use the examples from this thread, or "A Legend Returns" to decide who is and who is not "wonderful"?

Cheap thrills and immaturity go hand in hand, I expect nothing better.



Your behavior. Your words. Your judgments. Your attitude. Your poor success rate in the face of plenty. Your own description and admission.


I have to disagree with that. I don't think the problem is that he can't recognize quality people. It's getting those same people to recognize him back and want anything to do with him. Hard to do when you sound like such a pompous asswipe.

Personally I think he thrives on humiliation and that's why he keeps starting all these threads. I guess to some bad attention is better than none at all.


_____________________________

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Musicmystery)
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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:42:14 AM   
MichiganHeadmast


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I wannabe a wallaby.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:44:07 AM   
mnottertail


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JY3jzjIbQ4

There you go, stud!!!!

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:44:59 AM   
Jeffff


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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:46:25 AM   
Kirata


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

Again, I can see those who are insecure choosing to view things that way...

And so you, like so many others, jump for the jugular.

Well, I can see why you choose to see it that way.

K.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:46:38 AM   
KatyLied


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There may be a public humiliation kink going on.  I used to think that years ago when he was posting under a different screen name.  I sense that he is genuinely frustrated at his inability to understand that not everyone is interested in buying what he is selling.  And his continued insistence that women seeking different from what he offers are setting their sights lower.  As if he is offering some sort of heaven to them.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:47:21 AM   
MichiganHeadmast


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LOL!

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:49:59 AM   
BLoved


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
So you see, it's not just kink folks that have low or high standards...it's people in general. 


I know. Low self-esteem has always been a problem. People don't believe they deserve better, so they set standards according to their sense of self-worth, which isn't very high.

And of course, they really despise those who do not share their sense of low self-esteem.

Hell of a society we live in when so many suffer from such a problem.



I don't know if I'd go so far as to say they (whoever they are) despise those who don't share their views so much as they envy them.  Evny, though, is like a poison...it eats away at you until there's no "you" left, only a dark little ball of flesh made up of unfulfilled wants and dreams.  You could call it the "Keeping up with the Jones's" Syndrome...and again, it has nothing to do with kink. 


I agree. Low self-esteem is much more widespread than that. You can find ample examples of it on any dating site, vanilla or kink.

As for the envy, the envy only exists as long as one is reminded of how low his or her standards are. Eliminate the one who causes envy and people can go back to their smug self-satisfaction that they are the epitome of choice.

quote:

My questions to you are.... what is the answer?


Love.

quote:

Is it the same answer for everyone?


Yes.

Low self-esteem is a result of never having been valued or loved.

quote:

What fulfills you may be totally different from what fulfills me....


We all need air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat ... and we all need love.

quote:

I have a feeling if you decide to respond to this post and my questions that you'll find a way to spin them in your favor.  To be honest, I'm fine with that...I'm too sick and too sleepy to be bothered but I do hope you at least take the time to give it some thought.


I've been thinking about these things for 40 years, not that I expect that will mean anything to you.



_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 8:56:23 AM   
Jeffff


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Ya know Bob O.o., sometimes low self esteem is a good thing.


You could use a little less self esteem



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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:06:26 AM   
CarrieO


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

I've been thinking about these things for 40 years, not that I expect that will mean anything to you.



You would have been fine if you had stopped that sentence before the comma, but you had to add your assumption.

Could that be part of your problem with finding a suitable match...the tendency to assume?  When I said I was

sick and tired, I really meant sick, running a fever and off work, and tired, due to lack of sleep because I'm sick.

Nothing more nothing less. 

Enjoy your day.

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:10:11 AM   
KatyLied


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High self-esteem is a valued thing.  But when it is accompanied with a closed-mind, it is a train wreck.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:17:45 AM   
Jeffff


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

High self-esteem is a valued thing.  But when it is accompanied with a closed-mind, it is a train wreck.




You would break him

Jeff

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:21:13 AM   
KatyLied


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I hate being bored, it would be too easy to break him.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:26:49 AM   
Jeffff


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I hate being bored, it would be too easy to break him.



It wouldn't even be really good for your self esteem.

So sad

Jeff



_____________________________

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:31:21 AM   
BLoved


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
High self-esteem is a valued thing.  But when it is accompanied with a closed-mind, it is a train wreck.


The difference between high self esteem and low self esteem is in what you will tolerate.

Those with low self-esteem will tolerate anything, because they don't believe they deserve any better.

Those with high self esteem won't tolerate as much, because they know better.

If you need someone who will tolerate anything look for those with low self-esteem because I'm just not that kinda guy.

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:31:32 AM   
Musicmystery


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Maslow's hierarchy of needs highlights the problem.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg




< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 2/27/2010 9:32:39 AM >

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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:34:53 AM   
BLoved


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved
I've been thinking about these things for 40 years, not that I expect that will mean anything to you.

You would have been fine if you had stopped that sentence before the comma, but you had to add your assumption.




quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
I have a feeling if you decide to respond to this post and my questions that you'll find a way to spin them in your favor.


Treat others the way you want to be treated.


< Message edited by BLoved -- 2/27/2010 9:35:46 AM >


_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:36:51 AM   
Dominasola


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OP - I can't help but notice that you can't seem to see anything in a positive light.  Everything you have been talking about is so negative - "wannabes", low standards, low self-esteem.  Negativity, negativity, negativity.

Perhaps they are not wannabes, but rather people who are just looking to have fun.

Perhaps they don't have low standards, but rather they are just open to exploring a wide range of interactions.

And,

quote:

ORIGINAL: BLoved

Low self-esteem is a result of never having been valued or loved.



In my experience, low self-esteem has nothing to do with whether or not one has been valued or loved, but rather everything to do with an individual's self-reflection.  I have been valued and loved my whole life, yet still struggle with self-esteem issues.  Perhaps some people have low self-esteem because of a lack of love in their lives, but it's one of those airy-fairy things that doesn't have a concrete cause.

Also...

I am a "Canadian-femsub-who-wrote-nothing-in-her-profile," and yet I have been able to find the most meaningful relationship I have ever had off this website.

Perhaps if you stopped automatically dismissing emptiness in a profile as an incompatibility (as there are hundreds of reasons why an individual will not fill it out), you might have better luck in whatever it is you are looking for.


_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 2/27/2010 9:38:30 AM   
BLoved


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Maslow's hierarchy of needs highlights the problem.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg



Wiki: Self-actualization

_____________________________

When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 80
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