RumpusParable
Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005 From: NYC now! Status: offline
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quote:
Aakasha said: What you describe is very much like my primary relationship. I think to outsiders, we look like a fairly "equal" couple (I'm not bossy or demanding and he does not come off as 'pussy whipped'), but I am the breadwinner with the career and he's more domestic. He does support me a lot in my career and my business though. In our dynamic, I always have the final say in everything. I get what I want. He's generally going to ask for my permission to do things if it's not clear what I may say; I never ask him for permission, but I will often ask for his opinion. With the difference that we are a DINK household, this very much describes my relationship with Chael. In the end, and often the beginning, things come down to what I want and decide; but I often tell him to make the decision on something or listen to his preferences when making my own choice. I tell/let him handle things that are in his own realm that I've no interest in dealing with (for example, he owns a house that he handles all matters on with my just giving the occasional input on... I leave all decisions on that up to him, ultimately, because I want no part in running it). I handle everything that I'm interested in handling, he steps back and I take charge. Part of this is shown in our non-monogamous relationship style: we've been all sorts of ways in the past 13 years of mono, polyfi and polyamorous mixes. Our current dynamic is that of his being mono/polyfi and my being openly polyamorous. He can technically see, play and sleep with other people but it ultimately has to go through me first. I have to okay that I'm alright with it and he tends to only find partners during the rare, rare, rare times I find someone I like so much that I bring them into both our lives together. Me, I can see, play and sleep with whomever I want, whenever I want without having to check with him first. If he specifically doesn't like someone or something, I'll -like with anything else- take his feelings and opinion into serious consideration but ultimately I make the final call. He's very service oriented and that's the thing that *is* noticeable to others very often... my sister especially notes it whenever we (rarely) visit each other. -She wants to know how I get him to wait on me when I "don't yell at him or anything, he just does everything for" me. He always is doing little things like freshening my drink, carrying something for me, filling hot water bottles for me on cold nights... And we've lots of little rituals/patterns we've developed over the years...
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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever. I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so. Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.
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