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RE: why so little switchery? - 5/4/2010 7:41:46 PM

Subversed

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that entire body of text was rather linear. basically it's a tit-for-tat defense and reassertion statement dialogue.

"i'm your master you fucking useless piece of trash" would illicit a response of disgust for me- to which i might respond, given that this statement would be directed towards me (which anyone who writes in their profile such things is doing- it's for the reader to read. ), "Fuck yourself."

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RE: why so little switchery? - 5/24/2010 8:08:01 AM

blackpearl81

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Subversed

that entire body of text was rather linear. basically it's a tit-for-tat defense and reassertion statement dialogue.

"i'm your master you fucking useless piece of trash" would illicit a response of disgust for me- to which i might respond, given that this statement would be directed towards me (which anyone who writes in their profile such things is doing- it's for the reader to read. ), "Fuck yourself."

You are aware, that doing that is anatomically impossible, right? XD

Serious reply:

I've been wondering over the last year or so if I'm more switch than sub. Different people invoke different responses for me.

I guess the question is, aside from the obvious (experimenting) how does one explore this? Specifically, how does one find out if this is just a "role" that they'd like to fill, or if they are genuinely a switch?

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RE: why so little switchery? - 5/24/2010 9:53:48 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: blackpearl81

I've been wondering over the last year or so if I'm more switch than sub. Different people invoke different responses for me.

Which is how it started for me.

I guess the question is, aside from the obvious (experimenting) how does one explore this? Specifically, how does one find out if this is just a "role" that they'd like to fill, or if they are genuinely a switch?

My personal opinion/answer....It depends on what you mean by a person being "genuinely a switch". I've said it before, in fact I'll quote myself from this very thread,

quote:

I think there's a heck of a lot of switching going on...people just don't want to or aren't comfortable with talking about it as much as the other identifiers.

For some people, switching is a way to remain open to possibilities...for others it can be an easy label they use because they're experimenting. I don't care for the latter but I understand the need to have a label and a group to identify with. I think too many folks need a box to be in...to fit into and be comfortable. The switch label is one I accept but I also accept submissive, bottom, dominant, top depending on the person I'm with and the dynamics we have at that time.

In the end...I'm me. Switch is just a label I choose to describe the way I interact with others at certain times.

Ask yourself why you feel a draw towards the dominant/top side of things...explore it and be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings and see what happens.

And smile....this is suppose to be fun.

*edited to add....remember, having a dominant personality doesn't mean you're more inclined to take the dominant position within a relationship dynamic.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 5/24/2010 10:01:26 AM >

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RE: why so little switchery? - 5/24/2010 1:38:13 PM

blackpearl81

Posts: 506
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackpearl81

I've been wondering over the last year or so if I'm more switch than sub. Different people invoke different responses for me.

Which is how it started for me.

I guess the question is, aside from the obvious (experimenting) how does one explore this? Specifically, how does one find out if this is just a "role" that they'd like to fill, or if they are genuinely a switch?

My personal opinion/answer....It depends on what you mean by a person being "genuinely a switch". I've said it before, in fact I'll quote myself from this very thread,

quote:

I think there's a heck of a lot of switching going on...people just don't want to or aren't comfortable with talking about it as much as the other identifiers.

For some people, switching is a way to remain open to possibilities...for others it can be an easy label they use because they're experimenting. I don't care for the latter but I understand the need to have a label and a group to identify with. I think too many folks need a box to be in...to fit into and be comfortable. The switch label is one I accept but I also accept submissive, bottom, dominant, top depending on the person I'm with and the dynamics we have at that time.

In the end...I'm me. Switch is just a label I choose to describe the way I interact with others at certain times.

Ask yourself why you feel a draw towards the dominant/top side of things...explore it and be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings and see what happens.

And smile....this is suppose to be fun.

*edited to add....remember, having a dominant personality doesn't mean you're more inclined to take the dominant position within a relationship dynamic.

Well, by "genuine" I meant in terms of...."not just sexual", I guess.

Like, anyone can say "oh I like to take control in the bedroom" but that doesn't neccesarily make them a D-type.
On the flip side of this coin, someone who likes being tied up doesn't neccesarily make that person an s-type.

It could all basically ball down to kinky sex.

So I guess what I'm saying is, aside from the obvious (experimenting) how do you differentiate it? How do you tell that you like switching because it's part of who you are, as compared to liking to have kinky sex?

Not sure if I explained that right, but....

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RE: why so little switchery? - 5/24/2010 1:44:28 PM

laurell3

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black start a new thread in this forum if you want more responses, not everyone reads the entire thread when posting and yours is different from the OP. However, your assumption that kink being limited to sex means someone isn't a sub or Dom is erroneous. They could be just topping/bottoming without any d/s, protocol, orders, real control or submission, yes, but that doesn't make them any less a switch. The general term switch merely implies they have the potential to be either role. Also, one could have d/s in the bedroom only with bdsm and still be a sub or Dom.

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RE: why so little switchery? - 6/16/2010 8:45:55 AM

splorff

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Hi where is this other site brimming with switchers, sounds yummy

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RE: why so little switchery? - 6/25/2010 2:36:39 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

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So this is not really about r/t switchery, but more of a question of why this area of the message boards gets so little action.

One...because I'm a switch...who won't switch. I've chosen to act on one of my two possible modes because I have a preference. The other side is still there, way in some back corner.

About this part of the message boards, well...it's usually pretty dead. I know, part of the solution instead of part of the problem, but do you know how discouraging it seems if you ask a question...and others tell you you shouldn't have started a thread about it, as the archives are full of past discussions, and to go learn how to use the search feature?

If I go by that logic, then about everything anyone can possibly talk about now has already been talked about and there should be no new threads started anywhere. Other than the, "When ya kicked his arse, did your foot get stuck there and what did the doctor have to say about THAT" kind of questions.

Then, if someone starts a thread...most only look at the headliner and respond to that, or only read the first post made...which kind of makes this pointless if only the OP is going to read the posts everyone made.

Also, usually when I say something...I feel like my posting was invisible or else it's a thread killer, lol.

I enjoy answering what anyone asks, as if they are serious even if they're blatantly trollish, because I enjoy doing so. I will also clearly state my opinion as expressively as I can.

There are a lot of things I'd like to know, but since I'm in happy, hot pursuit of someone right now...anything I ask would sound like it's originating from my thoughts of him and it may or may not be the case. Either way, I don't want to embarrass him. If it doesn't work out and I'm "in between" again, I will joyfully throw myself into making new threads.

I used to have to do that years ago, at another forum where I was a mod. Had to keep everything moving along.

It would be nice to know if there are others like me who are switch but choose to stick to one side. Because emotionally I can go both ways, I don't feel right to put on red.

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RE: why so little switchery? - 7/9/2010 11:49:49 PM

dj2286

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I'm new to the scene but I find that odd as well. I live for a variety of experiences and could never see myself strictly submissive or dominant. It would get boring and where is the fun in that? I have been away for some time but have had little luck on this site.

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RE: why so little switchery? - 9/3/2010 9:24:50 AM

Bloodreignn

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So very true Tyterope, I hate the whole label in general I started a thread on that. I do agree that people are so afraid to lose the public opinion of what others will label them as if they do openly list switch if mainly D. I understand them but are'nt we here to find something that will make us happy as well as the person we're envolled with? So why does any one give a shit what any one else thinks? I surely don't. For me it really depends on the person and how I feel about them and their presence to be able to be a sub to someone they must have an extreme amount of strength physically,mentally and emotionally. Unfortunately very hard to come by and find a genuine person as well. For me the D side is more in my nature and have really enjoyed that but in turn, I've had some wonderful sub experinces I will treasure them always even if they are few and far between........

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RE: why so little switchery? - 9/4/2010 8:30:19 PM

bondagenheelsman

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God I couldn't have said that better myself! The best of both worlds indeed! I too feel lonely and wish there were more switches to talk to on here and who knows where that could lead too. You'd think the majority of people on here do think we have a virus. It's sad, so sad.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyandLimey

I personally don't understand why not... it's not like a virus, I'm happy to be one, i get the best of both worlds. i do wish more people posted on here, i for one feel lonely in this world full of doms and subs.

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Post #: 50