RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship?

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:38:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I'm saying you can hope for it-you can work for it-but it's never an entitlement. I guess it bothers me that some seem to think so. Arrogance?

Ahh. I definitely agree with that.

But a lot of the people behind those profiles seem to think that there are quite a number of things they are entitled to.

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The measure of a man is what he does with power.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:42:08 PM

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But they are not entitled to anything. That's the issue I have. None if us are even entitled to breathe.. How can you expect to "Own" anyone when we can draw our last breath at any moment? Forever ends at death in this world. And none of us will escape that.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:49:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I'm saying you can hope for it-you can work for it-but it's never an entitlement. I guess it bothers me that some seem to think so. Arrogance?

Actually, you didn't start out wondering whether or not it was something that people should feel "entitled" to. You specifically asked about "expecting" a long term relationship.

It would seem that the arrogance is really more on your shoulders. Like Icarys said, it seems as though you have recently had an experience that left a sour taste in your mouth. As though you had met and begun "playing" with someone and she mistook it to be leading to something more, and since you didn't, she left and you are pissed. How close might that be?

There is nothing wrong with people who are just looking for fun and games, friends with benefits, hook ups or whatever. As long as everyone is clear from the start, it's all good. It's when someone does what pageturner suggested and intentionally misleads someone into thinking that everyone is on the same page, just to get into someone pants that there is a problem.

And people aren't "wrong" to think they are "entitled" to something, it just depends what it is they think they are entitled to. I believe I am "entitled" to honesty from my partner. I don't think I am "entitled" to his love, but I am damn happy I have it.

People around here like to use cliches around here like "drop the zero, get a hero" and "don't make someone a priority who considers you just an option." So yes, in some respects we are "entitled" to expect certain things from a relationship.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:51:27 PM

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You are creating a world from a grain of sand here.
Why do you say such foolish things of someone you have absolutely no knowledge of?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I'm saying you can hope for it-you can work for it-but it's never an entitlement. I guess it bothers me that some seem to think so. Arrogance?

Actually, you didn't start out wondering whether or not it was something that people should feel "entitled" to. You specifically asked about "expecting" a long term relationship.

It would seem that the arrogance is really more on your shoulders. Like Icarys said, it seems as though you have recently had an experience that left a sour taste in your mouth. As though you had met and begun "playing" with someone and she mistook it to be leading to something more, and since you didn't, she left and you are pissed. How close might that be?

There is nothing wrong with people who are just looking for fun and games, friends with benefits, hook ups or whatever. As long as everyone is clear from the start, it's all good. It's when someone does what pageturner suggested and intentionally misleads someone into thinking that everyone is on the same page, just to get into someone pants that there is a problem.

And people aren't "wrong" to think they are "entitled" to something, it just depends what it is they think they are entitled to. I believe I am "entitled" to honesty from my partner. I don't think I am "entitled" to his love, but I am damn happy I have it.

People around here like to use cliches around here like "drop the zero, get a hero" and "don't make someone a priority who considers you just an option." So yes, in some respects we are "entitled" to expect certain things from a relationship.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:54:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You are creating a world from a grain of sand here.
Why do you say such foolish things of someone you have absolutely no knowledge of?

Could it be because you asked such a foolish question?

(in reply to Smutmonger)

RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 7:56:31 PM

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You are making up total nonsense-is this your usual behavior?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You are creating a world from a grain of sand here.
Why do you say such foolish things of someone you have absolutely no knowledge of?

Could it be because you asked such a foolish question?

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:03:26 PM

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~ Fast Reply ~

When I say that I'm looking for a lont term relationship, it means that this is my ultimate goal. I haven't always been in this headspace and have been honest when I was in the mood to just have a little fun.

On my profile I write: I'm in no rush and want to take my time to get to know him, but a relationship is my goal.

Communicating our goal is important here.

- LA

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:09:06 PM

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-FR-

I see what you mean about the word "expect" but I think you're taking it too literally. All the person is really saying is that they don't want to meet anyone who isn't interested in pursuing a LTR. Obviously whether they get along well will determine how far the relationship goes, but in these days with the number of people looking to "hook up" or "play" for fun I think that anyone who is looking for a LTR does need to make a point of weeding out anyone who isn't looking for the same. The only thing worse than meeting someone who you're not compatible with is meeting someone who you are wonderfully compatible with then finding out they don't want a LTR.

And don't even get me started on the number of people who aren't interested in marriage. LOL but anyway when I was single I had something like that in my profile. It's also a great code word for "dude you're not getting laid on the first date or even the third, but if you're interested in getting to know me as a person I'd love to meet."

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:12:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But they are not entitled to anything. That's the issue I have. None if us are even entitled to breathe.. How can you expect to "Own" anyone when we can draw our last breath at any moment? Forever ends at death in this world. And none of us will escape that.

You know, I have always thought this very same way. But then one day I woke up and realized that we ARE entitled to whatever it is we want BECAUSE we are temporal. The desire to "own" another person - just like any other desire - can be stronger BECAUSE either individual could die at any moment. People, actions, things...they all have value BECAUSE one day they won't exist anymore. I just try to accept that fact that we are all entitled to be happy because our time here is so short.

We are all limited by how we perceive the world. From my experiences, people who perceive the world negatively tend to be much more limited in terms of satisfaction with life than those who perceive it positively. If you truly think that we are not even entitled to breathe...well, that limits you.

</end pseudo-philosophical rant>

_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to Smutmonger)

RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:14:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

You are making up total nonsense-is this your usual behavior?

Mmmm...let's see, I'm not the only one who had the idea, but I am the only one you seem to have a problem with. Is it my usual behavior to tell someone if I think they are talking bullshit, being arrogant, foolish, whatever? Yea, pretty much. I also have no doubt that I'm entitled to do so.

Why? Because I never cease to be amused by those that come to the boards and wonder why people think that sub/slaves having expections is odd.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:18:00 PM

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There was a time that I knew I was not ready nor capable of a long term relationship. It was easy to find Doms who felt the same way. No pretense, just being who I was then. Now I would like to try for long term, and the Sir I am with feels the same way. We both came from long-term marriages and both lost our spouses. Will it last, we both know we will put the effort in it, yet we both know nothing lasts forever. In the meantime we are building the foundation for long term.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:22:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But they are not entitled to anything. That's the issue I have. None if us are even entitled to breathe.. How can you expect to "Own" anyone when we can draw our last breath at any moment? Forever ends at death in this world. And none of us will escape that.

You don't think we are "entitled" to breathe? Breathing is a function of life. In the USA, people are entitled to breathe and have free thoughts, speak their mind and a whole list of other things.

Thinking that we aren't "entitled" to anything because we could draw our last breath at any moment makes for a miserable life. It makes a handy excuse to not do anything. Why bother? You could be dead in a second.

Most people who are concerned they might be dead at any moment tend to want to live each moment to the fullest. What a sad, pitiful thing to think nothing is worth doing because you might die at any moment.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:34:34 PM

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I'm not going to fight with an obvious troll ,no more replies for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But they are not entitled to anything. That's the issue I have. None if us are even entitled to breathe.. How can you expect to "Own" anyone when we can draw our last breath at any moment? Forever ends at death in this world. And none of us will escape that.

You don't think we are "entitled" to breathe? Breathing is a function of life. In the USA, people are entitled to breathe and have free thoughts, speak their mind and a whole list of other things.

Thinking that we aren't "entitled" to anything because we could draw our last breath at any moment makes for a miserable life. It makes a handy excuse to not do anything. Why bother? You could be dead in a second.

Most people who are concerned they might be dead at any moment tend to want to live each moment to the fullest. What a sad, pitiful thing to think nothing is worth doing because you might die at any moment.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:49:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I'm not going to fight with an obvious troll ,no more replies for you.

I somehow get the sense that you are going to be very popular around here.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:55:59 PM

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They get bored after having no one to play with after a while. And soon move on to attacking those who think they are worth the bother.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I'm not going to fight with an obvious troll ,no more replies for you.

I somehow get the sense that you are going to be very popular around here.

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I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:56:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I'm not going to fight with an obvious troll ,no more replies for you.

Wow, this must be my week for the little newbies to call me names. I'm absolutely devastated that you won't be replying to me anymore. I would suggest, however, that you come to grips with the very real fact that while you are free to think whatever you choose, so is everyone else, and if you are going to post around here, people like me are going to be free to tell you if we think your idea is a bunch of bullshit. Time to get over yourself.

ETA:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

They get bored after having no one to play with after a while. And soon move on to attacking those who think they are worth the bother.

I repeat, time to get over yourself. You are far from worth the bother.

< Message edited by LafayetteLady -- 3/6/2010 8:58:58 PM >

(in reply to Smutmonger)

RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:57:38 PM

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I love the hide button-seriously.

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 8:58:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But they are not entitled to anything. That's the issue I have. None if us are even entitled to breathe.. How can you expect to "Own" anyone when we can draw our last breath at any moment? Forever ends at death in this world. And none of us will escape that.

This seems like an issue of semantics to me. I must admit that I rarely see someone write that they are 'expecting' a ltr however I see a lot of I am looking for or hoping for or open to etc.

However if someone expects to find a ltr I simply hope that they find this and continue living my life. I don't understand why exactly this seems to bug you?

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(in reply to Smutmonger)

RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 9:02:01 PM

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It really doesn't bother me that much-this was posted for a little input. Not as a rant.

Could the habit of harboring fantasies explain it somewhat? Sort of like people who 'expect' to win the lottery if they keep buying those tickets?

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

But they are not entitled to anything. That's the issue I have. None if us are even entitled to breathe.. How can you expect to "Own" anyone when we can draw our last breath at any moment? Forever ends at death in this world. And none of us will escape that.

This seems like an issue of semantics to me. I must admit that I rarely see someone write that they are 'expecting' a ltr however I see a lot of I am looking for or hoping for or open to etc.

However if someone expects to find a ltr I simply hope that they find this and continue living my life. I don't understand why exactly this seems to bug you?

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RE: "Expecting" a long term D/s relationship? - 3/6/2010 9:03:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

It really doesn't bother me that much-this was posted for a little input. Not as a rant.

Could the habit of harboring fantasies explain it somewhat? Sort of like people who 'expect' to win the lottery if they keep buying those tickets?

Oh it definitely could or it may simply be that they did not choose the most appropriate word when writing their profile

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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
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http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Smutmonger)

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