Is it a "lifestyle"?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Is it a "lifestyle"?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [The Marketplace] >> Scene Related Links >> Is it a "lifestyle"?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 4:33:10 PM

dananddawn

Posts: 56
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

Is this a lifestyle, what we do? Is it a hobby? just a fetish? We are discussing on the podcast tonight. What are your thoughts?

Warmly,
Dan
http://www.eroticawakening.com/?page_id=869

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 4:34:01 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Speaking generally?

E) All of the above.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 4:50:26 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

For Me, for this household... M/s is Our lifestyle. S&M is something we DO

The Dynamic is just part of how We relate day to day, fully part of the way We are in Our day to day lives. Beating her ass or whatever is something we do for fun.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 4:52:47 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

I'm curious, is this a question you want to discuss here simply for the sake of discussion or is it something you want to refer to in your podcast?

edited to add....the question has merit but I'm just curious of the motive. Thanks.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 3/15/2010 4:53:46 PM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 4:53:04 PM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline

NZ covered it, all of the above. Some live in a D/s dynamic at all times, with or without S&M; some just have kinky sex, and everything in between.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 5:14:48 PM

takemeforyourown

Posts: 430
Joined: 2/24/2007
Status: offline

For me (being married to a sweet vanilla man), it's just a wonderful fantasy of what I would like to have.

(in reply to afkarr)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 5:44:03 PM

bdspirit

Posts: 30
Joined: 7/27/2009
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

In the relationship I have with my wife/domme, I would classify it as something we enjoy doing but also a state of mind we are experimenting with (D's) that borders on a lifestyle. Because my wife is less kink oriented than I am, I think it will probably prove to be a challenge to integrate it into what I would consider a true life-style. That said, we've evolved to a point where I can see, taste and feel what the lifestyle would be like - both good and not so good. That glimpse is both enticing and also a clear reminder that at this point, this is more event based for us.

Bound

(in reply to takemeforyourown)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 6:25:07 PM

GraciousLady

Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

For me, I am a Dominant woman who is generaly in charge of my bf's who are submissives. So, for me it's my lifestyle.

(in reply to bdspirit)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 6:29:45 PM

Smutmonger

Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

Eating peanuts and watching south park on alternate tuesdays is a "lifestyle" if I think it is.

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 6:41:16 PM

alittleevil

Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn
Is this a lifestyle, what we do? Is it a hobby? just a fetish? We are discussing on the podcast tonight. What are your thoughts?

quote:

RavenMuse: The {M/s} Dynamic is just part of how We relate day to day, fully part of the way We are in Our day to day lives. Beating her ass or whatever is something we do for fun.

This.

Best,
aj

_____________________________

Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack (RHCP)

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 6:59:09 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

For myself I would probably classify this as a fetish. The sex itself is sex. The other things that I include in that like ropes or electricity or whatever are not inherently sexual in nature but I find them to be sexually stimulating. That satisfies the definition of a fetish so that's how I have always felt about it in my world. When we aren't entangled knee deep in the hoopla we are just another couple like any other couple that you might meet.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 7:15:30 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Each person will have their own answer because to each of us it is something different.
To me it is a lifestyle choice.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 7:33:52 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

Is this a lifestyle, what we do? Is it a hobby? just a fetish? We are discussing on the podcast tonight. What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are that it's different for everyone. For me it's primarily a sexuality. My husband and I have a fairly traditional, patriarchal marriage, but that's not D/s to me, that's just a traditional vanilla relationship, but the ways in which we relate to each other on an intimate level are D/s oriented. Not just sex itself, but the way we flirt with each other and everything else that encompasses our sexuality is always viewed through a D/s lens.

A lot of people on here are 24/7 or TPE D/s or M/s and for them I'd say it's more of a lifestyle because it encompasses their whole life. It's the foundation of the relationship not just the sexual aspect. Other people might just play at parties and not want D/s to be a foundation of either relationship or sexuality, and that would be more like a 'hobby' as you said, as well as people who are really into something like shibari and go to conventions to learn new techniques. And still other people might be in it for one specific fetish - shoe worship or queening or CD or anything else that draws them, without the power exchange element.

Also these things can overlap. I met someone once who was a hardcore shibari enthusiast and fetish photographer (hobby) who was also in a D/s relationship with his wife and active in the local scene (lifestyle) who was in an open marriage and had casual BDSM play/sex partners (sexuality) and to top it off he really liked women in stockings and high heels (fetish) so you can't just limit it to one or the other.

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 8:30:32 PM

Smutmonger

Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline

I like things that sting-intensely. Canes, rubber floggers, quirts, single tails. I used to think that things that thumped were cool-until a former maso I dated told me I "massaged" with them. That sort of spoiled the allure for me.

I enjoy the mind fuck and looks of fear I get when I have someone inescapably restrained,and they see what I am toying with-while giving them a cold and rather smirking expression. Sizing them up like a piece of meat on a hook. All that SKIN, just for my amusement.

A few light little sensuous taps-and then a really hard one. The one that leaves red welts behind. Never quite knowing when I am going to take it in mind to put them up on thier toes-screeching into the gag. It feels a little physchotic when I am in this space-very objective and lit up. Almost like a drug,only better.

Better,because I am still in control. And I know exactly how far I can go. But I am going to push it-the cup is full-it overflows.

< Message edited by Smutmonger -- 3/15/2010 8:31:20 PM >

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to Elisabella)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 8:31:26 PM

MofTampa

Posts: 46
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

For me it is philosophy. It in compasses who I am outside of the in and outside the home. It is more than just the M/s dynamic. As Norman used many different cultures to show how to live, it is the interlying philosophy that flow through them all. A simple knowledge of what is right as a person and in nature. Being true to oneself.

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 8:46:03 PM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

Is this a lifestyle, what we do? Is it a hobby? just a fetish? We are discussing on the podcast tonight. What are your thoughts?

Warmly,
Dan
http://www.eroticawakening.com/?page_id=869

It's different for everyone, and as someone already mentioned; it's all of the above and then some. It was discussed one time, where a good definition came to be: "BDSM is the inclusion of kink into one's life, and not just a lifestyle." We were talking about whether BDSM is an addition or separation as a part of one's life. Inclusion came from this discussion, and that conveyed a more acceptable definition. BDSM is a part of our lives, and not apart from our lives. At what level or intensity we include this that we do, is up to the individual.

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to dananddawn)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 8:54:24 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

I'm pretty sure my lifestyle is different from many people's lifestyles here. Why? Because we are all different. So my lifestyle is a combination of things not limited to just kink.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 9:15:46 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Welcome to Erotic Awakening with Dan and dawn, an informative and entertaining exploration of all things erotic.

Our show is on 93.9 fm the lite. From 2-5 pm. We only play musical stylings of the erotic and the well endowed. Music for the Lifestyler.

_____________________________

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 9:17:02 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

Well, hi DG, where you been?

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to domiguy)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Is it a "lifestyle"? - 3/15/2010 9:20:53 PM

domiguy