CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man" ?

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CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man" ? - 3/26/2010 10:19:20 AM

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For femdoms and subs - I'm looking for some insight and clarification from those interested in "clothed female, naked man" scenarios. I absolutely agree, and "get it" - the fact that there's a very hot dynamic in place when a woman is clothed and the male sub is naked, especially if nakedness makes him feel vulnerable (vulnerability is a hot button for me). So when the two people know each other and the dynamic exists, I understand the power there.

But for men who fantasize about a more anonymous version of this, is the style of dress or what the woman is wearing part of the power structure for him? That is to say - is she dressed hot? Is her style of dress specific - is it business attire? Or does it simply NOT matter, and could be sweats and a t-shirt, or jeans and a sweater, or tennis shoes instead of heels, or anything - just the mere fact that she's dressed is the whole point? When he is in his mind's eye of this fantasy, is his mind thinking about "I am naked, she is not," or is his mind thinking about, "She's powerful because she's dressed powerful and I am naked and not powerful."

Akasha

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 10:39:20 AM

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For me, it does not matter what her attire is. If I am naked, I am totally powerless and vulnerable and totally at her mercy if she chooses to show any. This is a very hot scenario for me.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 10:48:01 AM

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I love the business dressed female in boss attire and naked male. There's something about being naked and dominated by a female boss that is seriously hot. If it's a full role play, ........... That'd be PRICELESS!! But, ..... just a hot dressed woman works too.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 11:14:31 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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I enjoy CFNM quite a bit. I never really gave much thought as to what the submissive fantasizes about in that particular scenario. Sometimes I dress hot, sometimes I dress comfortably. I imagine when men fantasize about the scenario they envision a domme in latex or leather or whatnot. When I fantasize about anything, the male is always hot...lol.

Those who enjoy the scenario often don't really care what she is wearing when it comes to reality vs fantasy, provided there is a connection between the two (or however many are involved).

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 11:48:40 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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I love "clothed me, naked sub," though I don't limit it to male subs. In fact, that's pretty much the only way I play. I also don't dress "hot" most of the time. I dress for comfort, because nothing kills a mood like worrying about my breasts falling out of my corset or some such thing. It's also a control thing, for me. I get to do whatever I want to the subs, but they don't even get to see me in sexy clothes unless *I* decide I want to wear them. Control is my kink, so little details like this are what get my motor running.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 12:10:18 PM

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Hot outfits...sexy business attire makes for a great CFNM scene. Baggy sweats or overalls are almost always turn offs, no matter what the scene.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 1:44:21 PM

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If I were doing CFNM, I'd want to feel that I'm attractive ... so at the least, it would be jeans, a nice top, and probably a pair of my high heeled boots. I'm not likely to wear a dress or suit, simply because I don't like them and am not particularly comfortable in them, and it usually shows. I might wear pajamas, but again, only ones that I feel "cute" in. I wouldn't wear my sweats or my flannel pjs (unless I was freezing, in which case, it would be a case of sadism to make him stay nude, rather than one of making him vulnerable LOL)

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 2:22:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

When he is in his mind's eye of this fantasy, is his mind thinking about "I am naked, she is not," or is his mind thinking about, "She's powerful because she's dressed powerful and I am naked and not powerful."

For me, at least, it's more a case of "I am naked, she is powerful in that she can dress however she wants!". If she wants to be comfortable, she might wear sweats and a T-shirt. If she wants to get a specific reaction from me, whether that reaction is arousal or intimidation, she'll put on something that pushes my buttons. If she wants to feel powerful or sexy, she'll put on whatever brings out those feelings in her, regardless of how I might react. Her real power lies in the fact that she is absolutely free to choose, while (in my mind's eye) I stand there naked. And vulnerable, of course.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 2:40:35 PM

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like any other application of garments, changing the clothing worn can easily change the feeling of the scenario itself.

wearing lingerie could strike a romantic or at least sexual tone; i could see feeling like she's enjoying her time with me despite unequal stances.

wear bdsm attire and it could turn more into a power/control/stature feeling; it would likely give a feeling of insecurity/vulnerability.

put on a suit and it could end up feeling detached; this would lend itself to me feeling like i'm a service to her and little more, a used feeling might come into play as though i were on the same level as a fax machine. (it's nothing personal, it's just business)

casual clothing would either feel personal to me or at the very least invoke some kind of girl next door vibe; i'd get a feeling of trust or comfort such as when women get to the point they can stand to let you see them without cosmetics. it might not feel exactly intimate to me, but it would feel personal. others might see this to be impersonal, as though we weren't worth the effort to make yourself look flattering, but to me it would be more akin to being part of things men rarely get access to; as though i were able to be a part of something like "girls night out".

such things are all consistent with fashion in general. i see fashion as an extension of oneself and value it for this reason, so regardless of what category clothes might be put into there are great differences among even something as simple as jeans; one pair might strike a good chord with me where another pair might irk me to no end. one set of lingerie might make you look angelic, while another seductive, and both will impact the dynamic differently.

the interest in this dynamic to me is that my being naked is expected and inconsequential, but her nakedness is like a privilege that in the foreseeable future will not be given, i like the unfair quality of it that i can neither hide myself nor see her, while she can cover what she wants and see anything.

it sort of stacks in the sense that clothing and nudity does not have the same meaning for each other; the skin you see of her is a gift, while the clothing is a form of denial and stature, but the nudity of the man is leaving him exposed, and if she chooses to cover him it could be either from adornment to suit her tastes, or shunning something she doesn't care to look at.

for people not comfortable in their skin, it could feel far worse to be wearing a hood to cover your face or anything else she deems unsightly at the time (if that were the reason for it being worn).

you could push or pull such things in a million directions, the only thing i suppose i'd really admit on a common level is that it always matters to me what she is wearing, even outside of any concerns with CFNM, but when the dynamic is centered around the fact that she is the only one clothed, what she is wearing specifically has a great impact.

also, as i mentioned with fashion above, what i'm wearing is going to be very important as well, and while typically the woman is clothed and the male nude, even something as rudimentary as a possible collar falls under this aspect and if you wear one, you are no longer completely nude. this is why i don't really look at it in the end as "she's clothed and i'm naked thus she's _____ and i'm _____", it just goes back to the basic idea of d/s with her having control.

she controls both what she wears, and what i do or don't. what's important for me it a mix between how much is worn, the look and feel, and then the quality of it. if fashion is an extension of yourself, she's extending herself onto me as well with her choices.

how could it not be "hot" to wonder and find out what those choices will be for the both of you?

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 3/26/2010 3:03:50 PM >

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 3:27:51 PM

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The CFMN parties I have attended are all out of the area so I usually drive in something comfortable and then change at the location. The vibe is a step up from casual but not formal either. So a nice blouse or top with dress slacks or a skirt and usually black boots is the way to go.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 5:40:19 PM

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For me,the females attire is not an issue,it does not matter.Being exposed and humiliated is the primary issue.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/26/2010 5:43:33 PM

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It is more my state of undress than what she is wearing that does it for me. Invo sums it up very well in his excellent post.

"the interest in this dynamic to me is that my being naked is expected and inconsequential, but her nakedness is like a privilege that in the foreseeable future will not be given, i like the unfair quality of it that i can neither hide myself nor see her, while she can cover what she wants and see anything. "

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/27/2010 8:21:56 AM

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Well, I don't often tend to fantasise about specific clothes, but I certainly have a big thing for period costumes so occasionally I might have a fantasy that includes a sort of Lady of the Manor scenario... something out of the 18th or 19th century. But that's a very specific role-play scenario and not exactly the norm. To be honest, I'm not sure I ever really have clothing-specific fantasies. It's generally about the acts and the kind of dynamic between me and whoever the Dom/me in my fantasy is.

< Message edited by sodsta -- 3/27/2010 8:24:08 AM >

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/27/2010 11:35:42 AM

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Invo - Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this subject. I really truly appreciated reading it.

- LA

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/27/2010 11:41:17 AM

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My vulnerability and exposure is of more consequence than what she (or they) are wearing. If I had to voice a preference, I guess I would vote for "normal" clothing - something that she is comfortable in, and that seems more couched in reality and less in fantasy. That's not to say that I would have a problem with fetish wear, but the wackier it gets, the greater the risk that it will have a negative impact by creating an atmosphere of artificiality.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/27/2010 5:34:50 PM

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I love it even more when Females have the "right" to go up to any male and undress him. In particilar taking his briefs and lowering it whitout any consideration (or speed, just in a natural way) is both erotic and demonstrates the female power.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/27/2010 7:59:40 PM

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for me, it doesn't matter how She is dressed. In fact, i'm often wondering why a Woman would wear restictive corsets or tight leather gear if She isn't comfortable. i prefer normal wear for what She wants, i'm naked so it doesn't matter. It's Her personality that does it, not how tight Her clothes are.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/27/2010 11:44:11 PM

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Femdoms should usually wear something feminine. For me business skirts are a big turn on, or any other type of skirt or dress. To me that is even more of a turn-on then if they wear lingerie or other suggestive clothing.

For sure the main thing is that she is clothed, and he (me) is powerless, exposed, and naked.

One time a woman I was seeing asked me the same questions, and then showed up with ugly sweats on. Ugh! She did it just to taunt me and to show me that she is the one who will choose what to wear. I didn't really like it but of course I obeyed and did everything to her satisfaction. I think it was a turn on to her that I had to disrobe even though I was turned off.

Fortunately she only did that once but I learned her lesson not to ask for particular clothing.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/28/2010 5:30:21 AM

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In addition to my earlier comment, I also don't necessarily think it has to be clothed woman/naked man for it to be hot and for there to be vulnerability on the man's part. I've felt plenty vulnerable in a scene when fully clothed before. In fact, a lot of my fantasies don't involve any nudity until right near the end.

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RE: CFNM - Is it "woman in hot clothes, naked man&... - 3/30/2010 7:12:58 AM

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I think that most men going for the short term fantasy are looking for women they perceive to be dominant/strong, i.e. businesswomen, police officers, doctors, teachers, mothers, athletes/body buiders...

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