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Looking for advice - 3/30/2010 1:29:40 PM   
FallenAngelEros


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline 		I've been in this relationship for about 5 mo. From the beginning he was very clear that he's submissive, though I would have had to be blind, deaf, and dumb to have missed it. I'm not very experienced... I know the basics of tying him up and simple spankings... We've done a lot of talking about what we are looking for from our relationship and what we're afraid of. He is, while not recently (about 1 1/2 years) coming out of a bad relationship... He walked when she broke his hard limits and ignored their chosen safeword. We have taken things fairly slow, building up some very hard won trust but we're starting to reach the limit of my very small amount of experience. I've got some books but I feel like books aren't very helpful after a certain point. I know that as we stand, unless I learn more, very soon his needs will exceed my knowledge of how to provide for them. I don't want this...

He's a good sub, if a little willful at time (I like it better this way). He does wonderful things; like sneaking into my apartment when I'm at work because I called him on lunch and he knew I was having a bad day... He cleaned it from top to bottom and did all the laundry and dishes so I didn't have to...

Can anyone give me a good place to move on from here?
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RE: Looking for advice - 3/30/2010 2:11:06 PM   
FallenAngelEros


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline 		After my last post, I realized that maybe I am looking at this from the wrong side.

(in reply to FallenAngelEros)
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RE: Looking for advice - 3/30/2010 2:55:24 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		Have you looked at the BDSM checklist provided for setting up your profile? Do any of those things interest you? If so, search out demos that fall in line with your interests and learn first hand from other people. Even things that you think may not interest you now, if you see them done by others, it may spark an interest or other ideas.

In the FAQ link in my signature, there is a link for drkdesyre, that link lists tons of local events and munches, surely there will be some near you. Just involving yourself with other local like-minded folks may give you the jump you need.

Good luck.

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

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(in reply to FallenAngelEros)
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RE: Looking for advice - 3/30/2010 3:56:37 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Can anyone give me a good place to move on from here?


That is up to you. You are the Domme and you have to reflect on what it is that you want out of him. Do you have any sadistic feelings? Do you want to explore further there? Are you into feminizing him? Are you into simply being served?

Domin8tingUrDrmz had a great point about the checklist. I personally don't find the one on Collarme profiles very diversified and I don't have one to offer you, though you can google BDSM Checklist and there are many. I'm not aware of a more FemDom specific one.

You'll get many who will recommend that you get out and go to a munch or a demo and that is very good advice. However, I personally don't like them at all and I have managed to learn a lot from reading, playing with people I trusted and from soul searching.

You said you have books. Are they technical books or erotica? If you've read too much technical stuff it might feel too mechanical and erotica might get your imagination going. If you've read erotica, you might want to balance it out with some practical technical books.

Also, you can read FemDom blogs or Websites. These are brought to you by real life Dominas:


  • I like AkashaWeb (http://www.akashaweb.com/) a lot. Akasha also posts on these forums and her and I were practically seperated at birth so what she writes really speaks to me.

  • As well, there is the Femmedomme Society of Canada (http://www.femdommesociety.ca/) which is run by HeadMistress Jade Dragon who I have met personally here in Montreal.

  • Again, there is Midori's Website (http://www.fhp-inc.com/), another clever woman who I've also met and learned a few predicament bondage tricks from.

  • As for "wife" themed domination, you might want to look at Elise Sutton's Guide to Loving Female Authority (http://elisesutton.homestead.com/) though I find her a little too heavy on the Female Supremacy.


Hope this helps.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to FallenAngelEros)
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