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RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/18/2010 9:11:49 PM

GinoVega

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Such deep devotion. Those with that happening upon collar accidentally removing are truly connected to their masters

quote:

ORIGINAL: kadine

quote:

I have seen quite a few girls tell stories of how a collar was briefly or accidentally removed, and the emotional panic reaction they experienced, logical or not. And many girls love to touch their collars, to feel its weight, and the sense of connection it gives them.

Thank you for this.
You took the words right out of my mouth. For some, like me, it represents a lot more than just that of a symbol, especially when I'm apart from him. It's a "tangible" link to him because for me, the world is a very scary place with intimidating people and that collar was like a security blanket. When I was owned, I *needed* that collar, at all times, the only time it was removed was when I was released. :(

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RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 2:51:56 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GinoVega

Such deep devotion. Those with that happening upon collar accidentally removing are truly connected to their masters

quote:

ORIGINAL: kadine

quote:

I have seen quite a few girls tell stories of how a collar was briefly or accidentally removed, and the emotional panic reaction they experienced, logical or not. And many girls love to touch their collars, to feel its weight, and the sense of connection it gives them.

Thank you for this.
You took the words right out of my mouth. For some, like me, it represents a lot more than just that of a symbol, especially when I'm apart from him. It's a "tangible" link to him because for me, the world is a very scary place with intimidating people and that collar was like a security blanket. When I was owned, I *needed* that collar, at all times, the only time it was removed was when I was released. :(

or it could be that rather than being truly connected to their master they were in fact truly connected to the inanimate object

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Post #: 42

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 7:28:05 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Your slave has said "No thank you. I want to be your property but I have no desire to wear a collar especially in public".

What would you do?

A. Next time, if you don't want the slave's opinion, you shouldn't have asked. You should have just told them to wear a collar. Wearing a collar/dogtag/property mark has never been optional in my house.

B. Since they won't volunteer to to display your ownership, their id (ego) is not suitable to survive as a slave for very long. So you might as well have fun with them anyway.
----i. Poor them a nice tall drink laced with a double dose of GHB.
---ii. Then, while they are passed out, you tattoo "Property of _______" in the middle of their forehead.
--iii. Before they wake up, sew or staple their lips shut so you don't have to listen to any more silly comments from subordinates about what they will or won't do.

C. If the collar was too much, they need to be desensitized. Make them not only wear a collar, but clip on a leash, make them stay on all fours, bring a doggy dish and a can of hash for them to eat while wearing a doggy mask and tail. The next time you present them with just the collar, they will be thrilled that is all you want from them.

D. Blindfold them, gag them and put them in a straight jacket. Then stuff them in a shiiping crate and send them to my house for 3 weeks. I promise that when they return... they will not only beg for your ownership but be proud to display your collar in public.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/19/2010 7:31:30 AM >

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Post #: 43

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 7:34:05 AM

VirginPotty

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Post #: 44

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 8:04:47 AM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

who luvs ya'?

xoxo

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Post #: 45

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 9:00:41 AM

Meliai

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Joined: 1/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

I find it strange that collaring is something people think requires an actual collar.

If this were to happen to me. I'd simply solve the problem by finding out what option worked better for her a necklace a ring a tattoo or no symbol needed at all. See the collar I give exists in the mind which is where I want it to be seen.

QSM

This.

OP, I turned down a physical collar that was offered a year into our relationship. It caused some confusion - mostly my own. At the time, even I couldn't figure out why I said no, especially after looking for and finding one that I loved. He was understanding and did not push the issue. Looking back, if he had insisted then, it would have gone very badly. His patience allowed me to battle a demon I hadn't even realized existed, and my answer today would be different than it was 6 months ago - maybe I'll bring it up.

Saying no had nothing to do with him or my commitment to him, and he seemed to understand that. As QSM said so perfectly above, the collaring is mental - and it was in place long before the physical symbol was mentioned.

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Post #: 46

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 10:43:32 AM

VirginPotty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

who luvs ya'?

xoxo

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Post #: 47

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 11:12:58 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Meliai
Saying no had nothing to do with him or my commitment to him, and he seemed to understand that. As QSM said so perfectly above, the collaring is mental - and it was in place long before the physical symbol was mentioned.

I think this is an absolutely telling point. The original question was asked in terms of "slave" and by my definitions (not to be confused with yours or anyone else's definitions), there just simply isn't any "no" in that realm. Hence my original answer.

But in the broader picture of D/s in general, it is an important thing that the dominant understand what he/she is actually seeing, not what they THINK they are seeing. One can only SEE the end behavior. Interpreting that behavior correctly is a whole different story. For instance, the implication by one poster on this thread that my desire to see Carol collared in public had to do with my insecurities. In fact, it had to do with wanting Carol to challenge John Q Public and become more assertive of her own personal space in the world at large. Her dread of that command had nothing to do with lack of commitment to me. It had to do with her generally submissive nature to the world at large. She was, in essence, submitting to her perception of what the faceless "PUBLIC" would want her to do.

Understanding this, I wasn't angry with her that she hated the command. I worked her through it over a course of time. In the end, you cannot lead those you do not understand and, at least to some degree, empathize with.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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Post #: 48

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 2:12:16 PM

sblady

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Joined: 9/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I always thought that "Collaring" was a commitment, with or without a collar included.

I'd collar her and give her a ring or other discreet jewelry to wear.

This is so refreshing!! When Sir discussed collaring, I was very excited, though apprehensive as I work at a law firm. The firm isn't terribly conservative, but a typical collar would certainly stand out. Thankfully, Sir was more than receptive to a Ring of O (though I think He intentionally ordered the ring with a larger "shackle" than previously discussed).

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Post #: 49

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 7:25:42 PM

Andalusite

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A couple more points I didn't mention in my previous post - phrasing it the way you did in the original post would strike me as really rude and uncalled for, even if you can't or don't want to wear a physical collar 24/7. Until recently, I'd always thought of collars as being more of an online tradition, and I didn't use one as a relationship symbol in my 5 year relationship as a Domme or my 3 year relationship as a submissive, although both did involve collars during play/time spent together. Recently, I've felt a sense of loss and disorientation for a few minutes when my Master takes my collar off because we are going out together, or it is time for me to go. So, I'd like to have a physical symbol of our relationship, and brought that up to him, but it is in his hands.

A tattoo or brand is a possibility, and we've discussed both (he has done branding using a needle attachment with an ultraviolet wand before).

One of my main hobbies/forms of exercise is gymnastics, and it would be *very* dangerous to have something secured to my neck which could get hung up on the apparatus, especially if it were metal or thick leather which would be strong enough to support my body weight without breaking. No jewelry of any sort is allowed during class time in locations where it could get caught. Also, there are several kids, including ones young enough to ask nosey questions, and their parents in the class, and I feel (and my Master agrees) that it would be inappropriate to wear an obvious collar around them. So, I would probably need a dispensation for that, or to wear something around an ankle which could be covered by my pants and socks and won't get me hung up, and would be delicate enough to break if it did manage to get caught. I'd be nervous of body piercings, for the same reason - if they can be taken out for a couple of hours, they'd be fine, but some need to stay in or have a plastic retainer substituted.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/19/2010 7:26:48 PM >

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RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/19/2010 9:39:07 PM

GinoVega

Posts: 81
Joined: 4/14/2010
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Also could be true. Touche, love, touche.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: GinoVega

Such deep devotion. Those with that happening upon collar accidentally removing are truly connected to their masters

quote:

ORIGINAL: kadine

quote:

I have seen quite a few girls tell stories of how a collar was briefly or accidentally removed, and the emotional panic reaction they experienced, logical or not. And many girls love to touch their collars, to feel its weight, and the sense of connection it gives them.

Thank you for this.
You took the words right out of my mouth. For some, like me, it represents a lot more than just that of a symbol, especially when I'm apart from him. It's a "tangible" link to him because for me, the world is a very scary place with intimidating people and that collar was like a security blanket. When I was owned, I *needed* that collar, at all times, the only time it was removed was when I was released. :(

or it could be that rather than being truly connected to their master they were in fact truly connected to the inanimate object

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Post #: 51

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/20/2010 11:48:00 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Your slave has said "No thank you. I want to be your property but I have no desire to wear a collar especially in public".

What would you do?

There is no, 'no thank you' for a slave of mine.

However, it's a moot point right now for two reasons........don't give a damn about a collar and haven't a slave!

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Post #: 52

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/20/2010 2:00:22 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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In continued support of potty I offer these as well:

E. Since they don't want to acknowledge ownership in public, do what the Arabs do to their human property. Drill a hole through the slave's forearm and chain them to the house. The the slave won't ever have to worry about how they look in public.

F. Since the slave says they want ownership and control, but don't want to show it publicly with a collar, offer a private, discrete collar to be worn on the genitals... with a remote controlled tens unit so you can privately and discretely exert your control in public. However, have a Tesla coil secretly installed to boost the current to several thousand volts. That ought to make the collar look mighty appealing after a few convulsive jolts.

. . . I'm just trying to help. You know I luvs ya' !

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/20/2010 2:02:24 PM >

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Post #: 53

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/20/2010 10:28:44 PM

SailingBum

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Uh girl shut the fuck up and do as your told would suffice

BadOne

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Post #: 54

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/21/2010 6:16:21 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

In continued support of potty I offer these as well:

E. Since they don't want to acknowledge ownership in public, do what the Arabs do to their human property. Drill a hole through the slave's forearm and chain them to the house. The the slave won't ever have to worry about how they look in public.

F. Since the slave says they want ownership and control, but don't want to show it publicly with a collar, offer a private, discrete collar to be worn on the genitals... with a remote controlled tens unit so you can privately and discretely exert your control in public. However, have a Tesla coil secretly installed to boost the current to several thousand volts. That ought to make the collar look mighty appealing after a few convulsive jolts.

. . . I'm just trying to help. You know I luvs ya' !

The more you post the more I worry about everhope!

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Post #: 55

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/21/2010 3:23:45 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: GinoVega

Such deep devotion. Those with that happening upon collar accidentally removing are truly connected to their masters

quote:

ORIGINAL: kadine

quote:

I have seen quite a few girls tell stories of how a collar was briefly or accidentally removed, and the emotional panic reaction they experienced, logical or not. And many girls love to touch their collars, to feel its weight, and the sense of connection it gives them.

Thank you for this.
You took the words right out of my mouth. For some, like me, it represents a lot more than just that of a symbol, especially when I'm apart from him. It's a "tangible" link to him because for me, the world is a very scary place with intimidating people and that collar was like a security blanket. When I was owned, I *needed* that collar, at all times, the only time it was removed was when I was released. :(

or it could be that rather than being truly connected to their master they were in fact truly connected to the inanimate object

I was going to say the same thing. People frequently confuse symbols with reality. Collars don't really matter. The relationship behind the collar is what is essential.

< Message edited by CaringandReal -- 4/21/2010 3:24:10 PM >

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Post #: 56

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/21/2010 8:51:44 PM

AnimusRex

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Your slave has said "No thank you. I want to be your property but I have no desire to wear a collar especially in public".

What would you do?

Without passing judgment on the one who would say that, and assuming there wasn't some incredibly dire reason why a collar would be hazardous to life and limb, I would just realize that we are not compatible, and politely move on.

There isn't really any point in trying to force a bottom into being a slave.

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Post #: 57

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 4/25/2010 4:54:14 PM

dragon200070

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Joined: 2/9/2010
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This situation is weird. There should have first been sufficient discussion that the Dom would know what is acceptable.

On collaring, I gave my slave first an ankle chain (slave bracelet), then a neck chain.

Jeff

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Post #: 58

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 6:11:02 AM

InLight

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I have to agree with Musicmystery on this one.....the outward symbol is important to me because I like a visual reminder of my place and my purpose in my master's life. I very much enjoy the "secret" that such an object signifies. I would be no more willing to part with my master's symbol than I would a wedding ring or any other article of symbolism. To refuse completely would signify, to me anyway, that the relationship is not going to be going anywhere, and indeed, just ended.

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Post #: 59

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 6:18:20 AM

DarkSteven

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InLight, this is a bit of a thread hijack, but since this is your very first post,

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Post #: 60