RE: You want to collar your slave but......................

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RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 6:36:57 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

At the same time, these symbols become important to the women wearing them, whether rings, bracelets, anklets or collars.

I have seen quite a few girls tell stories of how a collar was briefly or accidentally removed, and the emotional panic reaction they experienced, logical or not. And many girls love to touch their collars, to feel its weight, and the sense of connection it gives them.

This is something i cannot understand, although i know it happens to some.

I just recently put my collar and wedding ring back on after taking them off for a surgery two months ago.

I was no less his when either was not not worn. He collared my heart and the absence of a necklace or ring will never change that.

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(in reply to Musicmystery)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 7:23:07 AM

Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

i cannot imagin say "No thank You" to wearing a symbol of His Ownership and love to SomeOne i adored enough to wish to call Master! i mean.. really? i try not to judge or put ppl into boxes with titles but.. i do not think that anyone serious who actually understands the "Lifestyle" is about would do that... i wouldn't... couldn't! i can understand something more unobtrusive needing to be found if their job or family situation warrants it but that is easily done. However i really don't understand even being able to say No if this person is someone You have entrusted Your life to and wish to make Them happier than anything!
Of course.. if the person isnt serious or wanting a committment.. then that is an obvious answer. ( or not submissive or a slave in my book )

They may have missed the begining classes of Submissive 101 ... lol

just my 2cents worth.

(in reply to VirginPotty)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 7:42:05 AM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: loverly

i cannot imagin say "No thank You" to wearing a symbol of His Ownership and love to SomeOne i adored enough to wish to call Master! i mean.. really? i try not to judge or put ppl into boxes with titles but.. i do not think that anyone serious who actually understands the "Lifestyle" is about would do that... i wouldn't... couldn't! i can understand something more unobtrusive needing to be found if their job or family situation warrants it but that is easily done. However i really don't understand even being able to say No if this person is someone You have entrusted Your life to and wish to make Them happier than anything!
Of course.. if the person isnt serious or wanting a committment.. then that is an obvious answer. ( or not submissive or a slave in my book )

They may have missed the begining classes of Submissive 101 ... lol

just my 2cents worth.

I was with a man that I loved dearly. He offered me a collar and I declined. I declined because I felt that there were things within the relationship that needed to addressed before that level of committment happened. Eventually those things detsroyed our relationship.

So, there are reasons for declining and accepting just because someone offers a collar isn't any better than getting married just because he offered. That may not be "Submissive 101" but it is "Real Life 101".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to loverly)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 7:55:22 AM

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Joined: 1/23/2004
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please note i said.. this is a person one ALREADY adores and wants to call Master.. i didnt right away or if there were "issues" that were in the way .... i don't think that was brought up at all prior to your addition there.. OF Course it is serious and something akin to marriage ( at least in my head) and the saying NO part at a time when they have decided to Be Together .. not when there are problems that may or may not be worked out. Obviously you made the right decision in that case since it didnt work out!
i only speak from experience of my own.. i lived with my previous Owner for a year before i took His collar... and yes he is previous as things can come up later ( gee just like in Real life! lol ) and come between people that cannot be worked out. Same as Nilla realtinoships , these too can fall apart without both ppl working on them and people , as people will, drift or grow in different directions.. That is Real LIfe.. of course not all can be seen ahead of time.

i am sorry it didnt or couldnt be worked out...it seems , for you, that was a wise choice.. I believed that the point of this thread is subs and slaves who say NO to wearing a collar in the Relationship when her Master or Owner or Dominant wishes her to ... not a girl who says No due to problems or differences that are in question in the relationship. my apoligiees if i misread.
loverly

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 2:59:24 PM

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

BS.
Some people just cannot see the necessity of a symbol when they are already committed. Lifestyle be damned. It is LIFE and relationships, not some magical land where things are cut and dried.. get a collar and suddenly everything is cool.

quote:

ORIGINAL: loverly

i cannot imagin say "No thank You" to wearing a symbol of His Ownership and love to SomeOne i adored enough to wish to call Master! i mean.. really? i try not to judge or put ppl into boxes with titles but.. i do not think that anyone serious who actually understands the "Lifestyle" is about would do that... i wouldn't... couldn't! i can understand something more unobtrusive needing to be found if their job or family situation warrants it but that is easily done. However i really don't understand even being able to say No if this person is someone You have entrusted Your life to and wish to make Them happier than anything!
Of course.. if the person isnt serious or wanting a committment.. then that is an obvious answer. ( or not submissive or a slave in my book )

They may have missed the begining classes of Submissive 101 ... lol

just my 2cents worth.

(in reply to loverly)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 5:08:27 PM

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
This is something i cannot understand, although i know it happens to some.

I just recently put my collar and wedding ring back on after taking them off for a surgery two months ago.

I was no less his when either was not not worn. He collared my heart and the absence of a necklace or ring will never change that.

I sometimes leave my wedding ring on the sink after taking a shower, and when I go out to the shops and realize I don't have my ring on I do feel a twinge of "omg something is missing" - it's not because I'm any less married without the ring, but rather that the ring is a public display to tell the world I am married. I'm sure most people don't even notice my ring but personally I feel really uncomfortable when I'm not wearing it.

As far as the question goes in the OP - I'd say it depends on how the dominant person feels about the situation. If he can't imagine having a M/s relationship without putting a collar around the person's neck, then they need to accept that they aren't compatible. I'm the type of person who wouldn't want to wear a collar in public, or wear one every day. It's not the collar itself that's the problem but rather the motivation - if the dominant wants to have the whole world know that his submissive is a submissive, but the submissive wants it to be a private thing between just them, there are going to be issues.

In fact, even if the submissive isn't completely anti-collar, if she's the sort who really doesn't care about a collar and thinks it means nothing, whereas the dominant thinks it's the ultimate symbol of a D/s commitment, there are probably going to be issues. It's all about compatibility.

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 7:35:45 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: loverly

please note i said.. this is a person one ALREADY adores and wants to call Master

As I said, I did adore him and would have loved to call him Master. But, I had enough sense to say no because regardless how I felt towards him, the issues existed. Just because I said "No" didn't mean that I didn't want to be with him.

Our relationship was overall a good one and my saying "no" did not end our relationship. It actually prompted us to work on our relationship and committment. We ended up being together for 6 years.

You seem to think there's no in between and in reality, there are a zillion reasons in between.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to loverly)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 7:41:03 PM

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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I am already in the 300 level courses for dominance.

try and keep up.

I am going for my....wait for it........... Masters!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I kill me!

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 6/28/2010 7:42:20 PM >

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 9:39:08 PM

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Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline

From my viewpoint the girl is not yet Mastered...either keep working at it or move on....

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Ride Hard Live Free
Shadow

True beauty is not seen with the eyes but rather felt in the heart...

(in reply to VirginPotty)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/28/2010 10:30:35 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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FR-

Well VP didn't give us a reason, so everyone has all given their "take" on the issue. My thing is if it is a thing against wearing collars in general, wouldn't this be part of those initial discussions about the relationship? You know the whole, what he prefers she wear, what expected "duties" are, etc. If there is a health issue, then certainly it should be brought up early on, simply because it is easier to get that out there in the beginning.

Now in Osidegirl's case, remembering that just because it is "offered" doesnt' mean is has to be accepted, and as her story is, there were issues that needed to be resolved before making such a commitment.

Personally, I'm not into the whole physical symbols of commitment, but I am not the type that would be working to "earn" such things in a relationship. Is that one way I am probably much different than many others? Yes, but I feel in a relationship, regardless of who has the bulk of the "power," each must continue to "earn" the right to be with the other, that part is very equal to me.

(in reply to LordShadow)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/29/2010 12:06:57 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Honestly LL, I don't think the subject of me having problems with things tight around my neck came up beforehand. The fact that I hate most green beans didn't come up until we were picking up stuff for dinner. In the same way it wasn't until he brought out a play collar that I said wasn't sure if I could tolerate it.

My regular collar is a necklace, not a choker.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/29/2010 5:41:22 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

~FR~

From my personal point of view, and whilst I love to see a girl's neck decorated with a collar, and I don't care of it be a hand made collar or a million dollar diamond, emerald and ruby one, it is still only a symbol of what is there. If she believed she is my property and I have declared it so then she belongs to me and referring to her being collared is but semantics.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/29/2010 6:39:04 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I always thought that "Collaring" was a commitment, with or without a collar included.

I'd collar her and give her a ring or other discreet jewelry to wear.

I knew there was a reason I liked you so much :D

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 6/29/2010 6:44:54 PM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

No, thank you???

I can imagine a bottom saying no thanks, but I would never collar a bottom.

As for a sub or slave, some apologetic pleading with good reasons also given would make me rethink this and find something else to use as a "collar." Like a tat or something like a CB2000. If I heard a "No thanks" it would be time for an attitude readjustment. The second sentence was fine, I expect people to state their feelings without being disrespectful.

With a sub, "No thanks" would be heard by me as saying this is a hard limit for them, as I have no veto power. (Hard limit? Over a discreet collar?)

Hearing this from my "slave", I would know beyond any doubt that I was not in a TPE. It would be my fault for misreading the situation so badly.

I could understand a man required to wear suits at his job balking at the thought of wearing an obvious D/s collar at work...but seriously, how many of us would go out of our way to turn something so honorable and symbolic into...humiliation?

..............................
edited to say:
No dangly bits here, but...I was bored and saw this pop up.

Sadly, you'd be surprised...

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 7/2/2010 11:56:24 AM

Posts: 39
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Your slave has said "No thank you. I want to be your property but I have no desire to wear a collar especially in public".

What would you do?

Ask them to re-evaluate their desire for living in this lifestyle. I doubt many brides would decline their husbands wedding ring, and relatively speaking, that's the same thing.

(in reply to VirginPotty)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 7/3/2010 3:33:08 AM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I am already in the 300 level courses for dominance.

try and keep up.

I am going for my....wait for it........... Masters!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I kill me!

Well, that saves all the rest of us the trouble.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 7/3/2010 3:37:51 AM

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I kill me!

Well, that saves all the rest of us the trouble.

Spoilsport!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 7/3/2010 4:21:39 AM

beautyImurDaddy

Posts: 58
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

Funny this should be brought up. I recently posted some pictures of the elaborate "collars" that were given me over the years from around the world. Someone commented "Damn, how many times is he going to collar you".... and this made me think.

My response to that was that I was collared once... and these are merely tokens of his affections and rewards of my service. Like others have stated... just because I do or do not have my wedding ring or one of my collars on... does not make me any more or less his.

As to the other semantics of is it sub or is it slave.... the one "side note" to that would be the fact it states Master "offered" the collar..... granted everyone has their own version.... but is it not up to the "slave" to beg the collar?

(in reply to myotherself)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 7/3/2010 8:42:24 PM

DommeKeliDallas

Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muirren

A slave? Refusing to wear her Masters collar? That is no slave. I have even knelt in public when ordered to do so.

Now THAT is what I would consider forcing your kink on others.
Granted it's very G-rated & no whips/chains are involved but still kinky in the vanilla's eyes.

If the Dom has no mental control over the slave and demands a collar, he isn't doing something right.

(in reply to VirginPotty)

RE: You want to collar your slave but..................... - 1/26/2011 7:12:33 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

If she did not want to be wear a collar that means that she did nto trust u enough to be your slave, she is just a submissive to u and she is not fully submitt to u for all and you can leave her to go back to her normal vanilla life

(in reply to VirginPotty)

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