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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 9:30:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
When I see pro's I wonder what went wrong. Very few seem authentic and even fewer seem to be remotely happy.

How many pros do you actually know? I think your statistical sample must be thoroughly skewed. Hanging out with other ladies who have dabbled to various degrees in this industry, I have indeed come across some bad apples, some megalomaniacs with obvious Top's Disease, some drug and alcohol addicted losers, a few self-loathing emotional wrecks and several who were just idiots. But the number of pros I'd put in the loser categories after meeting them has consistently been under 10% in total, definitely in the minority. The majority of the pro doms and other sex workers I've hung out with, talked shop with, been workout buddies and friends with, etc, were remarkably nifty people, and many are surprisingly well educated. I'm not the only refugee from academia in the biz. It's not even that uncommon; a couple of my friends completed their M.S. and PhD degrees respectively while working with me, and I know several more in the same boat.

As to authentic, there certainly can be some disconnect when you're playing a fantasy role for a client. None of us wear high heels and latex dresses 24/7, but if the client wants to think we do, that's cool. Part of what he's paying for is that he gets to have his fantasy and leave, with no inconvenient entanglements or social obligation to relate to us in a human setting. That's a fair exchange of time and energy, and we can both respect what it is as well as what it isn't. But when he does leave, life goes on, and it is good. And I'm happy. Life isn't perfect all the time, but it's usually pretty darn nifty, and I have a generally positive outlook on it.

Possibly my own statistical sample is skewed, because I tend to hang out on the geeky/kinky/academic end of the lifestyle community. I'm sure there are pros I completely miss getting to know because they just post on Craigslist and don't actually attend events. But that's an accurate picture from where I'm at, and it certainly doesn't fit the classical stereotyping of women who choose to be pro doms and other sex industry workers.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 10:21:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Any woman that earns money from the service of sexually entertaining a male is a prostitute and just because you don't like that word doesn't mean you aren't one.

Using that rather loose qualifier, I suppose a nubile house wife who greets her hard-working man at the door in lingerie could be called a prostitute. The models in VS mags might well be too. I agree that when one starts to think of the term abstractly, one sees it can apply it to a lot of things. "Prostituting" oneself can be viewed (legitimately) even in a non-sexual sense, too.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that when most think "prostitute", they are thinking of "the act or practice of engaging in sexual intercourse for money". In that sense, a Professional Domina is not necessarily a prostitute as it is literally and popularly defined. I think this is what many Pro Dominas mean to say when they are making the distinction. That and the fact that "pro" covers a considerable amount of ground, not all of it strictly about "sexually entertaining a male".

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 11:17:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Any woman that earns money from the service of sexually entertaining a male is a prostitute and just because you don't like that word doesn't mean you aren't one.

Using that rather loose qualifier, I suppose a nubile house wife who greets her hard-working man at the door in lingerie could be called a prostitute. The models in VS mags might well be too. I agree that when one starts to think of the term abstractly, one sees it can apply it to a lot of things. "Prostituting" oneself can be viewed (legitimately) even in a non-sexual sense, too.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that when most think "prostitute", they are thinking of "the act or practice of engaging in sexual intercourse for money". In that sense, a Professional Domina is not necessarily a prostitute as it is literally and popularly defined. I think this is what many Pro Dominas mean to say when they are making the distinction. That and the fact that "pro" covers a considerable amount of ground, not all of it strictly about "sexually entertaining a male".

A stay at home wife is still a busy one. She has other things to do like washing, ironing, housework, cooking and picking the kids up from school. Her husband is not her client but her lover and friend. People who model clothing do so for money and although they may be asked to pout and look sexy I hardly think that compares with women who seek to titilate through porn magazines for good money. Sex sells and can be defined in what ever it is appropriate to.
A pro Domme could get an a sexual adult school boy and her session with him would not be defined as sexual in any way but not all her clients are going to be like him. Most clients want a beating with their pants down or off and its more than evident to any Domme that has done this on a regular basis that a number of these guys are going to get turned on. Does the Domme stop and tell the guy to get out? of course not. She knows he's here because he's living out his sexual fantasy. She is entertaining that fantasy for a price.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 11:38:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
When I see pro's I wonder what went wrong. Very few seem authentic and even fewer seem to be remotely happy.

Possibly my own statistical sample is skewed, because I tend to hang out on the geeky/kinky/academic end of the lifestyle community. I'm sure there are pros I completely miss getting to know because they just post on Craigslist and don't actually attend events. But that's an accurate picture from where I'm at, and it certainly doesn't fit the classical stereotyping of women who choose to be pro doms and other sex industry workers.

I am a little hard on my Pro Domme sistahs. I am sure there are a pile of happy campers out there, but it ain't exactly the career path I would want to choose for those I care about.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/29/2010 11:39:11 AM >

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 11:54:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
When I see pro's I wonder what went wrong. Very few seem authentic and even fewer seem to be remotely happy.

Possibly my own statistical sample is skewed, because I tend to hang out on the geeky/kinky/academic end of the lifestyle community. I'm sure there are pros I completely miss getting to know because they just post on Craigslist and don't actually attend events. But that's an accurate picture from where I'm at, and it certainly doesn't fit the classical stereotyping of women who choose to be pro doms and other sex industry workers.

I am a little hard on my Pro Domme sistahs. I am sure there are a pile of happy campers out there, but it ain't exactly the career path I would want to choose for those I care about.

I think that if some occupation is seen as low-status, or (worse) is frowned upon, then it's likely that people involved in that occupation will feel it. God knows, I had a wide selection of the low-status-type jobs when I was studying - and it got to me eventually.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 12:34:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
I am a little hard on my Pro Domme sistahs. I am sure there are a pile of happy campers out there, but it ain't exactly the career path I would want to choose for those I care about.

If I could choose a career path for another person - and for the record, I think that is a tremendously bad, awful, horrible, terrible, no good idea in the first place - it would be something that was healthy, sustainable and practical for them to actually do every day for the rest of their lives without making them miserable. For some people the answer really would be "pro dom". For others it would not be. YMMV.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 12:42:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

I have seen a few posts that liken Proffesional Domination to prostitution which makes about as much sense as thinking your waitress at Denny's is your personal slave. Most of the more notable ProDommes do not offer sex of any kind as part of the menu including myself and stick to clients who are more cerebral in thier needs for an endorphin rush.
How many people know what really goes on in a session from experience not just idol speculation? I have noticed that there are some ladies who sully the reputation of this field but there are many Prodomme who do not So why keep comparing apples to oranges?

Why in the world would you or anybody else even care ?

If one does not feel disgraced or in any way feel of themselves some kind of reprobate for being a prodomme, then why on earth would you care if anyone thought prostitution was involved ? You get paid...so what ?

Hump'n for a bunch of red neck bricklayers for $1.25/hr back in the day had to have made me some kind of 'prostitute.'

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 12:56:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Any woman that earns money from the service of sexually entertaining a male is a prostitute and just because you don't like that word doesn't mean you aren't one.

You paint people with an awfully broad brush. Just because YOU think something is so does not make it true. I really doubt that if you had to stand in front of your local city council trying to preserve the right for you to do dominination and petition them to keep it legal you would not be so quick to say you were a prostitute. To you anything that is sexy or sex related equates with prostitute if money is involved. If I am not inserting anything If I am not making anyone cum if I am not performing or receiving oral or doing anal it's NOT prostitution.

< Message edited by MsAlisedeSade -- 4/29/2010 12:57:46 PM >

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 1:06:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

I really doubt that if you had to stand in front of your local city council trying to preserve the right for you to do dominination and petition them to keep it legal you would not be so quick to say you were a prostitute.

I've stayed out of this one because I don't quite feel equipped to argue with you, but I'm chipping in here to point this out:

Bear in mind that allthatjazz lives in a country where the act of prostitution is legal, and highly unlikely to be made illegal in the forseeable future.

Acts surrounding prostitution (solicitation, pimping, kerb crawling, trafficking etc.) are illegal but not prostitution itself (performing sexual acts, however you define them, for money)-so it's much simpler for her to label her ex-profession as prostitution than it would be for you, and she is unlikely to find herself up in front of her local council unless the current governmental attitude reverses pretty drastically.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 1:33:17 PM

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You know what that make alot of sense. If you live in country where prostitution is legal then it changes the way you categorize sex workers. Here I find if you do not spell out the differences clearly not only are there the legal issues that can arise not making the distinction can also can also leave you in the situation of attracting clients that are not right for you. Thanks

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

I really doubt that if you had to stand in front of your local city council trying to preserve the right for you to do dominination and petition them to keep it legal you would not be so quick to say you were a prostitute.

I've stayed out of this one because I don't quite feel equipped to argue with you, but I'm chipping in here to point this out:

Bear in mind that allthatjazz lives in a country where the act of prostitution is legal, and highly unlikely to be made illegal in the forseeable future.

Acts surrounding prostitution (solicitation, pimping, kerb crawling, trafficking etc.) are illegal but not prostitution itself (performing sexual acts, however you define them, for money)-so it's much simpler for her to label her ex-profession as prostitution than it would be for you, and she is unlikely to find herself up in front of her local council unless the current governmental attitude reverses pretty drastically.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 1:48:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

If I am not making anyone cum if I am not performing or receiving oral or doing anal it's NOT prostitution.

so what if a client has an orgasm from all the mental stimulation....then what would you call yourself?

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 1:52:21 PM

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VC is quite right about the law in the UK - but it doesn't much change the way prostitutes are seen here. The word carries pretty much the same overtones as it does in the USA.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 1:55:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

If I am not making anyone cum if I am not performing or receiving oral or doing anal it's NOT prostitution.

so what if a client has an orgasm from all the mental stimulation....then what would you call yourself?

Heh. I know of someone (he's not a friend, note) who I heard (from his wife) experienced many enjoyable hours cracking them off while watching Britney Spears in her 'Baby Hit Me One More Time' video.

Does this make Miss Spears a prostitute? The answer to that would be: could you afford the legal bills?

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 1:58:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

VC is quite right about the law in the UK - but it doesn't much change the way prostitutes are seen here. The word carries pretty much the same overtones as it does in the USA.

But she's much less likely to find herself in court over it, unless she's working with another prodomme (which might classify her as working in a brothel-and even *that's* under revision)-the law is *very* careful not to criminalise prostitutes themselves.

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 4/29/2010 1:59:23 PM >

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 1:59:18 PM

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lol.

i just thought it needed clarification.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 2:05:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

VC is quite right about the law in the UK - but it doesn't much change the way prostitutes are seen here. The word carries pretty much the same overtones as it does in the USA.

But she's much less likely to find herself in court over it, unless she's working with another prodomme (which might classify her as working in a brothel-and even *that's* under revision)-the law is *very* careful not to criminalise prostitutes themselves.

No, I don't see the law ever criminalising prostitutes themselves. Apart from anything else, the police hate dealing with the matter.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 2:28:41 PM

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There are devices to use to prevent that If I choose. I am secure enough my skills to not have to offer for someone to lick me as an incentive for session.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

If I am not making anyone cum if I am not performing or receiving oral or doing anal it's NOT prostitution.

so what if a client has an orgasm from all the mental stimulation....then what would you call yourself?

< Message edited by MsAlisedeSade -- 4/29/2010 2:34:14 PM >

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 3:00:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Any woman that earns money from the service of sexually entertaining a male is a prostitute and just because you don't like that word doesn't mean you aren't one.

You paint people with an awfully broad brush. Just because YOU think something is so does not make it true. I really doubt that if you had to stand in front of your local city council trying to preserve the right for you to do dominination and petition them to keep it legal you would not be so quick to say you were a prostitute. To you anything that is sexy or sex related equates with prostitute if money is involved. If I am not inserting anything If I am not making anyone cum if I am not performing or receiving oral or doing anal it's NOT prostitution.

The definitions are as wide as someone can propose them to be.
I remember when I started pro Domming. I used to get really upset if someone insinuated I was a prostitute. Just like you I would stand in the battle ground and try and clear what I believed was an unfair and sullied reputation. I remember the Mistress that trained me (A top London Mistress that had a very healthy reputation) sitting me down and telling me to get over myself. She told me that fingers would always point and accuse me of prostitution and if I couldn't take it to get out whilst the fire was still warming. I took her advice and have never let it worry me since.

For the record, I never gave a blow job, had sex, sat on someones face without being fully clothed or did pro strap-on. I never so much as touched a guys cock and balls without a latex glove on. I still accept that I was giving a sexual service.

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 3:02:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

There are devices to use to prevent that If I choose. I am secure enough my skills to not have to offer for someone to lick me as an incentive for session.

Whoa whoa whoa-there we are, back with the agression...

MA asked you a fair question-is the potential of a client orgasming due to mental stimulation different than other forms of orgasm with regard to the classification of pro domination as prostitution (or not prostitution)?

If she wants to offer oral that's her prerogative-there is no need to get snippy about it.

As someone who chipped in *without* having a go at you before, I'm hoping you'll listen to me when I say that these boards are a good place to be if you don't get all angry at people all the time.

Keep your cool and we're pretty cool (although I am aware that nobody who is actually cool would ever use the word cool)...

So cool it, yeah?

Edited because as far as I am aware the word aware does not in fact contain the letter t, although my fingers do not appear to be aware of this fact.

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 4/29/2010 3:04:13 PM >

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RE: Do you really know what a Prodomme is? - 4/29/2010 3:03:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

There are devices to use to prevent that If I choose. I am secure enough my skills to not have to offer for someone to lick me as an incentive for session.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlisedeSade

If I am not making anyone cum if I am not performing or receiving oral or doing anal it's NOT prostitution.

so what if a client has an orgasm from all the mental stimulation....then what would you call yourself?

I don't think she meant a client licking you. What if you had him all tied up and were scolding him and he dropped a bit of pre-cum on your carpet?

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