RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked?

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RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 7:32:51 PM

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I was seeing a relatively local girl for a while, and she too mentioned that she had been through guys who were not the dominants they proclaimed themselves to be, only men who wanted to be.

Since I of course never see that side of things (as I don't go looking for dominant men), I asked her what she meant exactly. She thought for a moment, and told a story about one guy, nice enough, who, at four a.m., couldn't sleep, so got up to make breakfast and iron her lab coat.

Gotta agree with her. Very nice gesture. But not a dominant move on a first sleep over.

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 8:42:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Are you KIDDING ME!!!!

Look at that Anteater. That is one bad ass dominant motherfucker!

pfft you lost your self-important title a few days ago....you're not even a wannabe!

Oh yeah?... see if you get your lab coat ironed bitch!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 8:42:57 PM

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I don't wear one and if you weren't a wannabe, you would know that!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 8:44:46 PM

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IF you wern't so fake you would know you don't wear one because I have forbidden it!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 8:54:49 PM

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You know, I am bored by this notion (not just prevalent on this thread) that being male and dominant means you can't be nice, or you can't be domestic. Maybe that woman had a wrinkled-ass lab coat, and the guy was trying to make her look more beautiful to him, and more professional to the rest of the world. He saw a problem, and he fixed it. Doesn't get much more dominant than that.

Honestly, these women who want to be ordered about so they can be "on edge" all day long, or who can't feel control unless they're getting yelled at, are wannabe subs in my eyes. Who cares where we eat dinner tonight, or who orders off the menu? That's not a decision. I am in charge of: what country we live in, whether we have children, what we do in bed. You know, things that actually matter. If subs think things like who does the ironing actually matters, they are thinking small, and deserve the smallminded martinets they end up with.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:31:55 PM

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Wait woah....if "subs" think....last I checked Musicmystery wasn't one of those. Obviously we are jesting about that very thing Red, and I agree, I don't think that making someone breakfast or ironing their clothes is "untrue", especially if you've just spent the night beating her ass, and that wouldn't be my cup of tea at all in a partner. However, if it's what works for him and his consenting adult partner and it is what makes both of them happy, it is.

The point is this, you're all doing the same thing....no one is "wannabe" because they aren't compatible with you. Would I ever be gorean? Hell no, but do I think they are all "fake" because they are? No. Women that want more structure aren't any more "wannabe" than the guys the OP speaks about that aren't sadists. They are what they are, real, just not for you.

And Jefffffffff I will smite you if you don't iron my shit!

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/9/2010 9:38:19 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:40:18 PM

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It is hard for anyone to argue with that.

Except the part where you expect an Me to take an iron to anything except you ass!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:40:45 PM

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You can do that after you iron buddy!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:42:27 PM

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It is good to know your motivations.

And your ass shall remain wrinkle free!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:42:58 PM

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That's it, you are smited! I mean smitten? Smoted?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:44:52 PM

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I am going to make you find out which is correct.

Should you fail to please Me with your answer, you will post about it and ask for ideas on how to make it all better!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:48:29 PM

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OK, sometimes I just want to lay down with someone, no aguments, just lay down together.

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:55:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Wait woah....if "subs" think....last I checked Musicmystery wasn't one of those.

Yeah, I was exaggerating to make a point. I don't care what other people do in their personal relationships, and it's certainly true that other people define "dominance" much differently from me. I define dominance as the wielding of power and control in the world. Not everyone does; clearly MusicMystery does not, nor does the OP of this thread. Many people limit their definition to "within the confines of my private relationship," and I'm not compatible with those people, because it feels like game playing to me instead of the real thing. To others, perhaps I feel fake, and they feel "real."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 9:57:49 PM

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There is no fake or real Red, but you're a good guy in my book either way if it makes any difference.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 10:02:48 PM

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I wouldn't iron the bitches shirt but I might take them to the dry cleaners....I would definitely cook her breakfast. It would be a trade off depending upon her culinary skills. But I like to cook and I like to eat what I cook. If she can make something that rivals or is better than Domidining than she is welcome to it.

It's so subbyesque to cook breakfast then fuck her ass.

_____________________________

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 10:05:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

There is no fake or real Red, but you're a good guy in my book either way if it makes any difference.

Thank you, and I agree with you about fake/real in the sense I believe you mean.

In the larger sense, though -- hell yeah, there's a difference between people who wield power in the world, and people who are just trying to get by. My attitude is: why think small?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 10:07:38 PM

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One can do that in either role though....and

HOLY COW, it's all of them! What do I win Master Anteater?

smite (smt)
v. smote (smt), smit·ten (smtn) or smote, smit·ing, smites
v.tr.
1.
a. To inflict a heavy blow on, with or as if with the hand, a tool, or a weapon.
b. To drive or strike (a weapon, for example) forcefully onto or into something else.
2. To attack, damage, or destroy by or as if by blows.
3.
a. To afflict: The population was smitten by the plague.
b. To afflict retributively; chasten or chastise.
4. To affect sharply with great feeling: He was smitten by deep remorse.
v.intr.
To deal a blow with or as if with the hand or a hand-held weapon.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Middle English smiten, from Old English smtan, to smear.]

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 11:26:41 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

You know, I am bored by this notion (not just prevalent on this thread) that being male and dominant means you can't be nice, or you can't be domestic. Maybe that woman had a wrinkled-ass lab coat, and the guy was trying to make her look more beautiful to him, and more professional to the rest of the world. He saw a problem, and he fixed it. Doesn't get much more dominant than that.

Honestly, these women who want to be ordered about so they can be "on edge" all day long, or who can't feel control unless they're getting yelled at, are wannabe subs in my eyes. Who cares where we eat dinner tonight, or who orders off the menu? That's not a decision. I am in charge of: what country we live in, whether we have children, what we do in bed. You know, things that actually matter. If subs think things like who does the ironing actually matters, they are thinking small, and deserve the smallminded martinets they end up with.

Yep.

HM would have had a fit were I to have a wrinkled lab coat. (I don't wear them but he does) But when I was going to school and working in law, he made darn sure I didn't have cat and dog hair all over me, (although I prolly wouldn't have noticed...)

He happens to be very A type, and I'm uhm...whatever the other is...

so, sometimes he will do domestic type stuff that I haven't even noticed needed doing. Sometimes he has me do it. But it gets done.

Oh, and Jeffffffffffff? I'm thinking about naming my new kitten after you. Mr. Floofykins has a nice ring to it!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/9/2010 11:41:52 PM

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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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Seriously... I am a hair pulling sadist

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Are you an Actual Dom or a Wannabe she asked? - 5/10/2010 12:15:44 AM

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~FR~

This is one of those questions where there is no 'correct' answer.

In many ways I'm like the OP - looking for a sadistic Dom local to me. But in my years of searching, dating and short-term relationships, I learned a lot about my search needs.

First, I need to know myself before I can start imposing demands on another. What MUST I have in a relationship, what would I LIKE to have, and what can I put up with to please him. That list has changed a lot over the last few years. There is no such thing as a true Dom or a true sub - just people whose interests either mesh or they don't.

Second, is there any criteria that can change to increase the chances of success. So far I've widened my age range and my search area. And it's already paying dividends

Thirdly, I take the time to get to know someone online before I meet them. That way I can weed out those that are unsuitable for me, and move on. Experience helps here - my HNG radar is seriously good now!

Fourthly, don't take rejection personally, and always give rejection as nicely as possible* That has stood me in good stead, particularly at the moment....(nuff said...

)

*this does not include the guy who gave me the whole 'I am Dom, hear me roar!' spiel, then on the first date admitted he was completely vanilla and just wanted NSA sex and everyone knew that subs/slaves were sluts. And the cheap-ass took me to McD's for coffee...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to SailingBum)

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