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is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/10/2010 10:35:18 PM

slavelynn95008

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Is a switch 50 50? I feel like both but way more one way than the other. What makes you a siwitch?

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/11/2010 1:29:03 AM

allthatjaz

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Some people are 50/50, some are 90/10 and some are even 99/1

I class myself as a dominant that submits to the moment.

I enjoy cooking, keeping house, making his life easy. I enjoy spoiling him, treating him and generally doing the things that make him happy. That btw doesn't make me submissive, it makes me the right partner for him. I also enjoy my partner being in control (of his own life that is) I get huge satisfaction from being with a guy that has a strong and determined mind, who knows what he wants, when he wants it and doesn't compromise his likes and dislikes but none of that makes me submissive, it just makes things fit.
To me submission feels like a game because its not naturally in me. I do all those things for him because I want to, no other reason. If I want to spend the day in bed tomorrow I will do, its my choice. I couldn't be a submissive in a relationship because if my own choices were taken away from me tomorrow I would just tell him to stop being ridiculous. I was born into a free world and thats where I intend to stay.
And so, I submit to the moment. He puts me there and when he's finished I brush myself off, smile and say 'Hmm that was pretty hot' before getting on with the cooking in an unsubmissive way!

Now my dominant gene is much stronger. I feel the need to dominate. My partner is pretty much like me and not really into being dominated. He will accept and enjoy a certain amount of sexual domination but thats about it. For this reason both of us share mj, our fem sub. With mj we can unleash the stronger influence that torrents through both our veins.

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/11/2010 8:21:54 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'm 100/100. I'm a submissive. And I am a dominant. (And many other orientations but I'll try to keep it simple).

What makes a person homosexual? Vanilla? Daddy? Leather? It's an innate part of our being. Some people it's kink switch, some people it's Ds switch, some people it's both.

It's a mistake to consider Ds as a single line continuum. It's at least two lines

Dominant 1---------------10

Submissive 1--------------10

There are slaves who are not submissive at all, and would not actively seek submission. There is simply a very small percent of people (of which perhaps they've only met ONE) who they feel called to be enslaved by. That doesn't make them less of a slave than someone who has had four collars of slavery in their lifetime.

We are complex beings. We feel different things in different times in different responses to different people. Many bisexuals feel a general affinity for one sex more than the other in some ways. That doesn't mean they are 50/50 or 10/90, it means they are 100% bisexual and it is expressed in a unique way in their response in the world.

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/11/2010 10:44:08 AM

azropedntied

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L/A ~ well stated ..

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/11/2010 2:15:00 PM

laurell3

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Yep I agree with LA.

OP, I'm not sure really what you are asking...what is your concern specifically?

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/11/2010 2:33:52 PM

Steelslilbit

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I used to be 99 s-type, 1 D-type.....now I'm 99 D-type 1 s-type. There are a lot of things that can cause a change in a person, no matter what they label themselves as or others consider them. Personal choice and life changes were my two top factors. There are others, certainly, but I'm not going to get into it (as it has to do with other people).

What makes me a switch? I'm a switch because that's the label in the BDSM community (and most specifically the websites I tend to visit) that I most closely associate myself to. Being one thing over another is about personal choice and what you relate to. There's no right or wrong to it really, you are what you are. Or at least what you say you are. ^.^

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/11/2010 3:36:45 PM

TomCypress

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ill side with LuckyAlbatross.. nice to see you back Steelslilbit

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/11/2010 6:16:07 PM

Andalusite

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I like both, sometimes even mixed together, when I play with my Master and my submissive playpartner in the same scene. In the past, I've sometimes topped and bottomed to the same person in the same scene without any D/s going on at all. I don't think of it in terms of percentages, it only matters how I am interacting with the specific person or people. "Switch" just means you like both, much like "bisexual" means someone is attracted to both men and women. There's no requirement that you have a 50/50 split!

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/12/2010 3:50:34 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There are slaves who are not submissive at all, and would not actively seek submission. There is simply a very small percent of people (of which perhaps they've only met ONE) who they feel called to be enslaved by. That doesn't make them less of a slave than someone who has had four collars of slavery in their lifetime.

I find this snippet here interesting.
If you were to ask Steve about me, he would probably point to the above. He has often said to me that although he has had previous experiences with women who call themselves 'slaves' up until meeting me, he had never met anyone who did it so naturally. I have always laughed this off. I mean, how can I be a slave if I am not submissive and yet at the same time I question my own motivations within this relationship. Those motivations, as far as I am concerned, are not submissive because I make my own choices to please him and make his life easy. The interesting thing here is, I have never had (in previous relationships) the inclination or the magnetism to concentrate all of my good towards one person. Perhaps thats because he has never repressed me by expecting me to be submissive or complained and berated me for having a dominant side. His expectations are high and I happily go out of my way to live up to those high expectations but I do this because I have the utmost respect for someone who has proved himself a good, honest and hard working man and not because he's my dominant/Master.

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/12/2010 6:52:54 AM

afkarr

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Like everything else in the world, it depends upon the person. I'm my male Doms sub, but from time too time like a girl of my own. I could probably be quite happy being 50/50 within that framework, but since real life obligations limit my available time for maintaining a relationship, I choose to be about all sub with a very occassional foray into the other side.

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 5/12/2010 9:21:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Jaz yes it's good to know that there is that variation out there- a lot of people like to make Ds into a continuum where you progress from bottom to sub to slave. And while this might be what it is for many people, the reality is lot more complex and varied. Most subs and slaves are ALSO bottoms. Many subs and slaves are ALSO tops and ALSO sadists.

And many slaves are NOT submissive at all.

Although I will note that a slave who is ALSO submissive doesn't make them any less "natural."

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/17/2010 1:58:37 PM

bearstar69

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At times it all depends on the person at the time with me sometimes I will be just strictly wishing and having full control and with another we take turns of whom is in the submissive position sharing the feelings both of helplessness and full control. I dont know about the fifty fifty for me since it can change its percent rate.

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/18/2010 1:10:35 PM

xkittenx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavelynn95008

Is a switch 50 50? I feel like both but way more one way than the other. What makes you a switch?

Its not so much that I feel 50/50 as its that certain people bring out different traits for me. My fiance usually brings out my submissive side and since he's my primary partner, I usually associate with my submissive traits.

I also seem to respond strongly to dominant women though its kind of weird. I get all shy and silly if a female dominant starts paying me any serious attention.

I don't really respond to submissive women one way or the other but some of the really submissive guys bring out my domme side and thats always fun.

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/19/2010 3:48:45 PM

ResidentSadist

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Just for giggles, go take the BDSM Quiz.
It will supposedly measure your percentage of dominance, submission etc. Cute test.

http://quizfarm.com/quiz_repository/new/136192/

100% Sadist
100% Exhibitionist / Voyeur
100% Dominant
71% Experimental
29% Bondage
29% Switch
14% Degradation Lover
14% Vanilla
0% Submissive
0% Masochist

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/19/2010 5:13:53 PM

bellesoumise

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Just for giggles, go take the BDSM Quiz.
It will supposedly measure your percentage of dominance, submission etc. Cute test.

http://quizfarm.com/quiz_repository/new/136192/

Hmmm... I'm a tad low on the Dom juice....

100% Submissive
100% Switch
79% Bondage
68% Experimental
64% Dominant
57% Masochist
39% Sadist
29% Exhibitionist/Voyeur
25% Degradation Lover
11% Vanilla

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/20/2010 7:55:38 PM

ErrynRed

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I prefer to be submissive, but it's really hard for me to find people I'm willing to submit to, so I tend to be more dominant out of necessity. If that makes any sense.

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/20/2010 8:17:31 PM

hereyesruponyou

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So are people who define themselves as switches perhaps just more flexible in their interactions? It seems the common thread in most responses is "it depends on who i am with" or "it depends on the situation". I have some friends who just flat out define themselves as dominant or submissive and can't imagine themselves in the other role no matter what. No judgement here, not a good bad thing, just more an understanding and acceptance of who you are. With the predefined terms being thrown around it took me a long time to realize i am a switch in many ways, but mostly i describe myself as a Domme who like to bottom.

Interesting thread from a very ho hum start

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/20/2010 9:30:58 PM

dangerousbeauty1

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You Scored as a : Switch Switch 100% Experimental 96% Sadist 89% Exhibitionist / Voyeur 68% Dominant 64% Degradation Lover 61% Submissive 54% Masochist 50% Bondage 36% Vanilla 21% I am currently answering this from a just having had spinal fusion mindframe so I'm not really sexually engaged at this moment and previous encounters are a bit fuzzy.When I am back on my feet and sexually active and engaged I'd like to retake. As for OP, I am situational. With females I am all Dominant. With males hmmm, I feed off their energy and adapt accordingly and enjoy and relish in the outcome of Top or bottom. Currently very Dominant in and out of the bedroom...but on the same note cater to and provide comfort to my Top unerringly. I know I could be better or serve better but right now I am stuck in Top mode and it will be a bit before I relinquish......

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/20/2010 9:40:44 PM

Twoshoes

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Stay away from me apparently...

Sadist 93%
Switch 93%
Dominant 86%
Experimental 82%
Exhibitionist 79%
Submissive 64%
Masochist 64%
Bondage 50% (Yeah, not much into that)
Vanilla 39%

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RE: is a switch 50 50 or more one way than the other - 9/21/2010 7:23:58 PM

poise