RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter

Page: << < prev 5 6 7 8 [9]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/13/2010 7:13:41 AM

francisUK

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/5/2009
Status: offline

I haven't read all the replies, but i just want to put in my 2cents, my idea of a good dominant women is one who is nice and caring, who has respect for her subs, open dominance is good in a non-sexual way, i like a woman to lead the conversation, to lead the relationship, but it's just not right and proper to do it full on in public, there's kids about for gods sake, it's the look a woman can give a man in public that only he and others switched on to the lifestyle will understand that makes a good domme, she shouldn't need to get her whip out and put the nipple clamps on him in the middle of a coffee bar to exude and air of dominance.

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Profile

Post #: 161

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/13/2010 9:08:44 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

Sorry to hear about your experience. His behavior was entirely out of line at many levels.

It is perfectly reasonable to have simply a vanilla conversation with no expressions of dominance or submission. What he suggested was inappropriate for a public place. And to create a scene and to attempt to manipulate you was lame.

Accordingly, lack of overt dominance is not grounds to say there is no compatibility. In such a situation, I would feel lack of D/s incompatibility if I felt the domme seemed to have an appeasing attitude due to social timidity. That reason, however, is very different the one described in the scenario.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Profile

Post #: 162

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/13/2010 9:27:17 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

In such a situation, I would feel lack of D/s incompatibility if I felt the domme seemed to have an appeasing attitude due to social timidity.

Doesn't that put a lot of pressure on the femdom, though, Sea? I'd hate to think of some woman thinking 'Oh hell, I can't show that I'm anything less than confident' at that first meeting with a sub. Personally, I try my best to ease women's nerves when they first meet me because, obviously, they're going to feel utterly overawed by me.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Profile

Post #: 163

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/13/2010 9:33:28 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

So, are you saying that a domme can't be shy, Sea?

Peon, I direct you to the Intimidating S type thread! You may make your application to me on the other side, I am already intimidated by your chewy abs!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 164

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/13/2010 9:39:31 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

So, are you saying that a domme can't be shy, Sea?

And is it shyness or is it just being reserved?

I'm never shy to meet someone, but sometimes my reservedness is misinterpreted as shyness.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 165

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/14/2010 6:57:03 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

The problem with dating and rejections is that the "sorry I can't go out with you" reason is often far from the truth. Usually the breaker-upper is doing what is most expedient.

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Profile

Post #: 166

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/14/2010 7:25:34 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

In such a situation, I would feel lack of D/s incompatibility if I felt the domme seemed to have an appeasing attitude due to social timidity.

Doesn't that put a lot of pressure on the femdom, though, Sea? I'd hate to think of some woman thinking 'Oh hell, I can't show that I'm anything less than confident' at that first meeting with a sub. Personally, I try my best to ease women's nerves when they first meet me because, obviously, they're going to feel utterly overawed by me.

It's your giant pits P...they just yawn and chasm and all that...hard not to be in awe and even some shock over those pits man...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 167

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/14/2010 8:23:29 AM

mkula

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline

Dear MissAsylum,

How awful, you had a lucky escape!

That person must have been totally deranged! imagine what could have happened if you'd met beyond the public gaze? It's a good thing you dicovered his idiocy before any relationship developed.

It goes to show that you have to be very careful when meeting people on the internet, no matter how confident you may feel about them.

Good luck in the future,

All my good wishes, mkula.

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Profile

Post #: 168

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/16/2010 10:24:44 PM

SamanthaQ

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/16/2010
Status: offline

You just met the wrong type guy. He sounds like his idea of a domme comes from what he has seen in the movies and on television.

I'm a very nice domme and I don't fit the Hollywood description of dominatrix at all. I'm very controlling but not on the first meeting so I would never act all dominatrix like on my first encounter with a man

I think there are a lot of men who would like the way you act. Using your first meeting to get to know someone before entering into a D/s relationship with them is what mature people do.

(in reply to mkula)

Profile

Post #: 169

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter - 6/17/2010 2:15:01 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

agreed. since my vanilla boyfriend and i are poly, i was trying to meet a potential from here instead of a vanilla person. now had we been meeting on the terms of a professional dominations session, i could understand his reaction(however, not in the middle of a starbucks). since it was more of a dating situation, why should bringing all my goods to the table even be a factor. same with telling a first date everything about yourself. you just dont do it.

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to SamanthaQ)

Profile

Post #: 170