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FLsubmalecd -> RE: Mistresses giving up the search??? (4/21/2006 3:36:40 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
quote:
ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd
I think You did a great job of listing all the things to look out for in Your search for a sub. I as a sub male agree with You and many other loving sincere Dommes that it is hard to weed through the wood pile of wankers, players and married males looking for a fling on the side. It sure does not speak highly of the gender i am one of.
It infact makes me wish i could somehow disassociate myself from them so the fine Ladies that want what i am searching for too could find each other. I won' t lie and say i don't want or need certain things from Domme. Let's face it, we all want and need something from this lifestyle or we would not be a part of it. But the difference is, that someof us are very sincere and very real about understanding who we are and what the other expects from it. I surely understand and agree, it is not about me and my wants and kinky desires. it is all about what the Lady iseek to serve wants, needs, desires, and demands. To be perfectly honest, it is all that she wants and expects that turn me on, makes me happy, and why i chose this lifestyle to begin with.. My own needs and wants come second to hers.
I also know that if i give her 100% of myself, i will get back without asking, what it is i need and want.
So to sum it up. Here is what I want and need: I want a Lady to dominate me 24/7 and expect me to serve her without question. I expect her to make me into the perfect sub/slave for her. Iexpect her to punish me for my failures and reward me with her love and shared playfulkinks should i deserve it by being allshe wants and expects. No, it is not a game. But allthis starts with mutual respect and love. Without it, i could not give her what she needs and wants. It comes down to love. That's what some of you want. That is also what iam lookng for. The rest is dependant on how well we match up in our beliefs and lifestyle choices. Maybe with a little give and take thrown in to make us a better match.
I hope ii expressed this in a way that makes sense and does not in anyway make me look like the kind of player that you described in Your post Ma'am.
Good luck in Your search.
What if you met a woman that you connected with on all levels, and she was a sincere dominant with her own host of kinks, but she had zero interest in crossdressing and really wanted you to abandon that kink or not participate in it with her. If she was perfect in all other regards, how would you address that?
This is not a swipe, it's an honest question. I gather from your nickname that CD is part of who you are, and therefore a nonnegotiable kink on your list and a 'must have.'
Akasha
Hello Ms Akasha,
I thank you for your honest question. It's a good one for me to ponder. I know this could happen. so I will try to answer it in the most honest way I can.
First, I think it's important to destinguish between a true cross dresser and those that put on woman's clothes or just some lingerie as a fetish or for the sole purpose of sexual kink Most of us that identify as a cross dresser have been one since early childhood. As young as 5 -10 years old is usually when it starts for all of us. It can start as an adolestant fetish as we go through puberty. But it grows into much more then just sexualas we mature. For most of us, it no longer is "just" for erotic pleasure and definately NOT a fetish. It is really a part of who we are. We have the urge, drive or whatever it is, as much as the need to eat and breath. As we grow older, the need in fact grows and becomes less and less of an erotic thing. It just is who we are as often as we can or as the need compells us to dress. Oddly enough, my own experience is the more in love I am, and the more I have any sex with my woman, the more I am compelled to dress.
So to answer your question...Yes, I'd try very hard to first educate my new love?Domme as to the need of that part of who and what I am. Next would be to hopefully try to make some sort of compromise. Even if that compromise was for her to never have to see me dressed that way or for me o serve her while in fem mode. I surely would not let it come between us if at all possible. But I'd be lying to you now, or to her, if I found her to say I could just give it up. The experts will tell you that is impossible. Believe me, over the years I've tried. Most of us have. Some have even committed suicide for not being able to accept it within themselves. I hear of hundreds of men that have married, raised a family and have kept it a secret from their wives. That to me is sad. it would be impossible for me to do that and would not try. I have been lucky that I have had 2 wives (one died) that fully accepted and understood the compulsion and even had some fun with it. And they were both vanilla.
So to sum it up, if we were perfect togehter or thought we would be, then I'd do everything possible to educate her about what a cross dresser really is and to let her know that it is impossible to give it up. Then I'd hope we could come to a solution that would make us both happy. Even if it was to never present myself to her while dressed. I wouldnot have a problem with that. Sure, I'd really love to be able to be her maid and serve her while in fem mode. But it is not something I could not do without. Another words, my desire to serve her and submit is not just as my fem self. My desire is to be her sub/slave in either mode.
I hope that answered the question for you Ma'am. Thank you for asking,
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