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Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you outside the sexual?


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Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you outsi... - 5/30/2010 4:58:29 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you outside the sexual?

For me, the whole D/s thing has no value outside sexual overtones. Just curious if most others are similar ...
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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:03:20 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		No, for me his authority over me is all-encompassing, for many reasons. The sexual is just one part.

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:05:45 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		For me, it is the other way around. I don't eroticize the whole thing at all. It's just a comfortable fit for Carol's and my personality.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:09:33 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Yes of course it does. I can't be sexually submissive unless there are overtones in other aspects of my relationship. Not that there is anything wrong with having only bedroom submission of course, but for me I am so dominant in my daily life all the time, I can't imagine being sexually submissive only. He needs to inspire or evoke those feelings for me to submit. Even though..ohhhh it's a struggle. .

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:13:07 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		I tend to think that the entire D/s and even M/s dynamic is in some subtle ways indirectly driven by sexuality.
If this is not true, then there would be many same-sex non-homosexual D/s relationships. In  reality there are none.

Of course there are other good things about D/s outside sexual sphere, but I think that eventually, sexuality
is the driving force of the entire dynamic.


< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/30/2010 5:14:38 PM >

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:18:37 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

I tend to think that the entire D/s and even M/s dynamic is in some subtle ways indirectly driven by sexuality.
If this is not true, then there would be many same-sex non-homosexual D/s relationships. In reality there are none.

Of course there are other good things about D/s outside sexual sphere, but I think that eventually, sexuality
is the driving force of the entire dynamic.



Wrong again. Where do you get this stuff? There are same-sex, non-homosexual d/s relationships.

Sigh...to answer the OP: Yes, it does have appeal outside of the sexual in varying degrees depending on the dynamic and relaitonship.


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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:19:58 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Our sex life is really rather vanilla.  Our BDSM play does not involve sex or orgasms. 

It's the rest of our lives that is Dominant/submissive.  

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:24:12 PM   
SocratesNot


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quote:

There are same-sex, non-homosexual d/s relationships.


How many? Don't include relationships based on some philosophical teachings, religion or martial arts.
I bet there is EXTREMELY small number of same-sex non-homosexual d/s relationships that are not based on some kind of religion, philosophy, esoteric practices, teaching, or martial-arts.




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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:25:49 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Yes, absolutely.  i am a slave by vocation - like a nun, only naughtier.    i am wired as slave with a deep need to please. 

i have served in sexless and BDSM play-less situations.  Definitely less fun, but was still fulfilling for me.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:27:26 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		SN unlike you I don't pretend to have numbers or know the minds of everyone else. However, it isn't necessarily about sex. I have friends that are male that have male Doms that are straight and engage in a d/s dynamic without sex that is very much real, one of them going on a decade now.

The fact that you can't perceive it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Almost everything under the sun when it comes to humans exists in some form or fashion.

(sorry for the derailment OP)

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/30/2010 5:29:13 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:27:58 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		OK, I could then turn my statement into question.
How many of you would serve the Master / Mistress of the same sex as you are, if you are not homosexual, not bisexsual, not even bicurious?



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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:28:37 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

There are same-sex, non-homosexual d/s relationships.


How many? Don't include relationships based on some philosophical teachings, religion or martial arts.
I bet there is EXTREMELY small number of same-sex non-homosexual d/s relationships that are not based on some kind of religion, philosophy, esoteric practices, teaching, or martial-arts.


Um, why not include philosophy, religion, or martial arts?   Because those methodologies all blow your premise (there are no same-sex, non-homosexual D/s relationships) out of the water.

< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 5/30/2010 5:30:10 PM >

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:30:49 PM   
SocratesNot


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Joined: 5/17/2010
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quote:

I have friends that are male that have male Doms that are straight and engage in a d/s dynamic without sex that is very much real, one of them going on a decade now.


Well this was enlightening. But I still think that such relationships are extremely rare.


_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:32:28 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

OK, I could then turn my statement into question.
How many of you would serve the Master / Mistress of the same sex as you are, if you are not homosexual, not bisexsual, not even bicurious?


i would.  i can think of several Dommes on these boards i would serve in a non-sexual non-play way in a heartbeat - and i am a proven non-bisexual.  Women do nothing for me sexually.   i still would find it very fulfilling to serve any one of several Dommes - just to feel her pleased with me (not sexual).

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to SocratesNot)
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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:35:10 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Um, why not include philosophy, religion, or martial arts?   Because those methodologies all blow your premise (there are no same-sex, non-homosexual D/s relationships) out of the water.


No.
The reason I don't include relationships based on religion, cults, philosophy, and martial arts is because such relationships are not D/s for the sake of D/s.
They always have some other goal such as spiritual growth, asceticism, development of skill, advancing philosophy etc.

I think that there is really a very small number of non-sexual same-sex D/s relationships, which exsist for their own sake.


_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:37:38 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Well I would once again ask you based on what...

but it's not your thread nor relevant to the point and you'd just mystically change your mind only to come up with additionally fanatical statement and so on and so on and so on......


(again sorry the the derailment pompeii)

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:38:11 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

i would.  i can think of several Dommes on these boards i would serve in a non-sexual non-play way in a heartbeat - and i am a proven non-bisexual.  Women do nothing for me sexually.   i still would find it very fulfilling to serve any one of several Dommes - just to feel her pleased with me (not sexual).


Wow, this is also fascinating. Very enlightening for me. I thought it is really uncommon.


_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:38:19 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

I tend to think that the entire D/s and even M/s dynamic is in some subtle ways indirectly driven by sexuality.
If this is not true, then there would be many same-sex non-homosexual D/s relationships. In  reality there are none.




In reality, there are plenty and Himself and I have had such relationships with both men and women .. no sex, just S/m and/or service and have friends and acquaintences that engage in pure power as well. Nothing to do with religion, philosophy or anything of the sort. Service and/or power for the sake of service and/or power.

I *never* had sex with a submissive who was bottoming for me or serving me. It's not my thing. Himself does not have sex with submissives or bottoms. I don't recall him ever even taking off his shirt much less a pair of pants in front of anyone but me. I'm the single exception to that and we are married.

That probably answers the OP as well. It's not about sex for everyone. For us (and we are extraordinarily compatible) it's about power.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:40:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If I had to make a list on what drives My interest in D/s, sex wouldnt be very high on the list.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

I tend to think that the entire D/s and even M/s dynamic is in some subtle ways indirectly driven by sexuality.
If this is not true, then there would be many same-sex non-homosexual D/s relationships. In  reality there are none.


Where on earth do you get your data?  Do you even know how ridiculous this sounds to those of us who know such people personally?


quote:

Of course there are other good things about D/s outside sexual sphere, but I think that eventually, sexuality
is the driving force of the entire dynamic.


Maybe for you.  What you fail to consider is that there are a myriad of other driving forces.  For some, it is security, structure, a sense of belonging, a family environment, those who thrive on protocol, a sense of fulfillment, even romantic love, or a myriad of other things.  If nothing else in your time here, can you not understand that not everyone thinks or feels the way you do?


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Does the BDSM D/s dynamic have any appeal for you o... - 5/30/2010 5:41:06 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
quote:

Um, why not include philosophy, religion, or martial arts?   Because those methodologies all blow your premise (there are no same-sex, non-homosexual D/s relationships) out of the water.


No.
The reason I don't include relationships based on religion, cults, philosophy, and martial arts is because such relationships are not D/s for the sake of D/s.
They always have some other goal such as spiritual growth, asceticism, development of skill, advancing philosophy etc.

I think that there is really a very small number of non-sexual same-sex D/s relationships, which exsist for their own sake.


Well, even eliminating the methodologies you point out, you are mistaken.  There are a great number of non-sexual same-sex D/s relationships, especially in the gay male community (where's Lance when you need him).  And as i mentioned, i have no issue serving a female Domme in a non-sexual way either - as well as many other female non-bi non-homesexual slaves serving Dommes.

Heck, just spend some time on FetLife and look at all the relationship types and styles on there - you'll see what i mean.

It doesn't have to be sexual for everyone.  It is for many, but not for all.  i don't do what i do just to get my sexual jollies - it would be much simpler if that were the case. 

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to SocratesNot)
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