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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/4/2010 5:50:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

This is the oddest cyber dirty talk I have *ever seen*.

You know they're talking about forced cocksucking on another thread, right?...?!?

Uh...perks up...where?

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/4/2010 6:02:23 PM

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Laurel is a *dirty girl*

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/4/2010 6:45:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: lurch999

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Well at least it was a most excellent choice of game!

i don't waste my time with or jeopardize my real life relationships for crap games.

Ah, but that kind of backfired, eh? Because you still disobeyed... srlsly, you could have bought ME an Xbox, but if it was forbidden, I would have said sayonara. And made you return it.

i bought Her a Wii for Christmas, but She said it was too expensive a gift to accept since we didn't know each other well enough at the time and i had to return it.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/4/2010 7:22:42 PM

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Elan, I agree that getting alone time to focus on hobbies and responsibilities is important. I still feel that the way he handled it was a lot more abrupt than necessary, and she really felt hurt and rejected by it. There may have been other factors, but he could have easily said something along the lines of, "Hi, Honey! Let me wrap this up, and then we'll spend some time together." or even "I promised my friends I would meet up with them online for an hour, but after that, you'll have my full attention." If he had specifically needed several hours for a project (whether a computer game or something else), it would have been polite of him to let her know ahead of time, since they were living together. That way, she could have made her own plans.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/4/2010 9:38:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

Elan, I agree that getting alone time to focus on hobbies and responsibilities is important. I still feel that the way he handled it was a lot more abrupt than necessary, and she really felt hurt and rejected by it. There may have been other factors, but he could have easily said something along the lines of, "Hi, Honey! Let me wrap this up, and then we'll spend some time together." or even "I promised my friends I would meet up with them online for an hour, but after that, you'll have my full attention." If he had specifically needed several hours for a project (whether a computer game or something else), it would have been polite of him to let her know ahead of time, since they were living together. That way, she could have made her own plans.

i hope he wasn't playing WoW. If it was Everquest that is understandable, Second Life he needs help.

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 2:19:42 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

This is the oddest cyber dirty talk I have *ever seen*.

You know they're talking about forced cocksucking on another thread, right?...?!?

Uh...perks up...where?

SN's thread about multiple slaves in OT. Go now. It will not disappoint.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 11:14:51 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

If you've got a date with your partner, that's not the time to start up a detailed, self-focused, solo project. Conversely, during those times when people do solo activities, it's not unresonable to expect cooperation from your partner.

I had to comment on this, at least in part because it rang a bell with me, especially because of some particularly virulent commentary cast in my direction (not from here) about my decision to travel alone, and to get a motorcycle for ongoing solo road trips...

...the thing is, there seems to be this general tendency for people to get the idea that once you're in a relationship, you have to be joined at the hip, spend all your time together, and can never do solo stuff alone. I -love- House Bladewing, and all my beloveds -- but I am a gypsy, and most everyone else in my life are home-bodies... I -need- to travel/journey/walkabout in nearly the same measure as I need to breath -- and many times, I need to travel ALONE. I need the space, the room, and the opportunity to listen to my own voice, without background and without sound. I actually -resent- it when other people 'tag along' on my solo ventures.

In the same way, I have to be REALLY respectful of my companions. While they're homebodies, all of them still need to have "their own space" -- whether it's reading, working out, writing, or cataloging autographs and bits of handwritten notes from famous people.... It's even -more- important for me to respect -their- private solo time because they're right -there-... they don't leave, like I do, to have private time... so it is crucial that I 'catch the hints' that say "I have solo plans now"... even when I am all excited about my latest trip or the most recent piece of 'enlightenment' I've discovered.

Being together doesn't mean being obsessed... a bit of healthy distance can be a good thing, for people who thrive under those circumstances.

Enjoy (writing from the road in Batesville, Mississippi. I highly recommend Louisiana State Parks if you like to tent or hammock-camp!)

Calla

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(in reply to ElanSubdued)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 12:05:28 PM

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Andalusite,

quote:

Elan, I agree that getting alone time to focus on hobbies and responsibilities is important. I still feel that the way he handled it was a lot more abrupt than necessary, and she really felt hurt and rejected by it. There may have been other factors, but he could have easily said something along the lines of, "Hi, Honey! Let me wrap this up, and then we'll spend some time together." or even "I promised my friends I would meet up with them online for an hour, but after that, you'll have my full attention." If he had specifically needed several hours for a project (whether a computer game or something else), it would have been polite of him to let her know ahead of time, since they were living together. That way, she could have made her own plans.

I'm not sure if you got my reply mixed up with someone else's. In any event, this aspect of my post was meant as a general comment on navigating the needs of individuals within a relationship. As I understand the OP, he did something his dominant explicitly asked him not to do. That's a different subject that has little to do with negotiating "private" versus "together" time. Still, I appreciate your comments (above) and don't disagree with them.

Elan.

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 12:09:42 PM

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VC,

Cock sucking thread? I'm not sure who SN is. If you'd be so kind as to provide the link to the thread, I'll throw "+20 domme dexterity" your way. :-)

E.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 6/5/2010 12:10:14 PM >

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 12:26:20 PM

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Something happened, at last.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 12:31:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
So... on to "tits". As with most things in life, context and timing are significant. If you've got a date with your partner, that's not the time to start up a detailed, self-focused, solo project. Conversely, during those times when people do solo activities, it's not unresonable to expect cooperation from your partner. If I'm in the midst of threading a small part onto a spindle, this probably isn't the best time for my partner to flirt (naked or not). My attention isn't on her and anything she does by way of interruption, unless for a significant reason, isn't likely to be welcome at that moment.

Elan, I was trying to respond to this point. They hadn't specifically scheduled a date or solo time. She just came home, clearly in the mood, when he was already in the middle of something. I agree that saying hi and waiting a few minutes for a good stopping point would have been a better approach than interrupting. However, the specific way he handled it did hurt her feelings. I'm sure he didn't intend it that way. They weren't in a D/s relationship, but cloudboy had brought up the idea of breaking up over a game, and that is essentially what happened in this situation, although there may have been other factors, so I felt it was relevant. The game itself was less of the reason than the basic feelings and emotions behind it - she broke up because she felt rejected, and it made her feel like he wasn't sexually attracted to her and didn't care about her. The same thing might have happened if he had been focused on a different activity. If it was one where there was an active safety issue with her interrupting or getting in the way, I doubt she would have done so, or been upset if he had her wait.

Lurch, not that it matters much, but the game in question was Rainbow Six. I read a quote on one of those "ridiculous twitter" sites about someone jumping out of bed in the middle of sex to keep their strawberries from wilting in Farmville, which I suppose could be considered even more lame. I don't actually know the people in question, so that one may have been fictional.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 6/5/2010 12:33:24 PM >

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 12:45:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

If you'd be so kind as to provide the link to the thread, I'll throw "+20 domme dexterity" your way. :-)

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3237396

Enjoy.

(If I had the authority I'd make that an order).

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 6/5/2010 12:46:10 PM >

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 1:04:03 PM

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Andalusite,

Thank you for clarifying. Now I understand your post. :-) Yes, I agree. Even if appropriate, rejecting the affectionate advances of a partner is something that must be handled very carefully. Ideally, as you point out, this can be done with loving care in a way that avoids (or minimizes) feelings of rejection. This is especially difficult when one partner doesn't value or understand the solo activities of the other. For example, if one partner loves restoring old furniture, the other, while not participating, might well understand the value in this activity. Video games, on the other hand, tend to be a highly polarized activity - you understand it or you don't. So I can see how, for the non participating partner, feelings of "how could a video game possibly be more interesting than me, at any time" might develop. Another, typical feeling, for the non participating partner, is "why does my partner waste their time playing video games". These types of disconnects take lots of communication to solve and follow-through is important. Thanks again for explaining your post.

E.

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 1:22:36 PM

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VC,

Thank you!

+20 domme dexterity

--- (If I had the authority I'd make that an order).

+200 domme authority and coercion

Well, ya know... just thought I'd help you with your plan. :-)

E.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 2:14:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Well, ya know... just thought I'd help you with your plan. :-)

Aye, aye - what plan's this, then?

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 2:20:14 PM

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Apparently you're one of those Englishmen who can't read and suck cock at the same time.

--- VaguelyCurious wrote:
--- (If I had the authority I'd make that an order).

Therefore...

+200 domme authority and coercion

:-)

E.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 2:52:15 PM

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Nope, I'm still not following. You put the words 'VaguelyCurious' and 'coercion' in the same post. I think that's the nub of the profound sense of confusion I'm experiencing here, Elan.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 3:47:05 PM

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Peon that was some quality writing, albeit too short. (the cock sucking thread, not here)

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 3:50:40 PM

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Thank you! I think there's more to come, though.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/5/2010 3:57:47 PM

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Forced cocksucking is awesome. And hawt. Please do include some of that on threads that aren't infected with the crazy, so I can enjoy it too.

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