angelikaJ
Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
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I joined here nearly 3 years ago in mid-June of 07.
I had the usual experience for many women on the other side and being quite naive, well, it took me awhile to figure out that my experience wasn't unique.
*laughs at self*
I handled the mail a bit differently than is recommended and didn't report, block or delete anyone.
I also didn't respond in ways that kept many of the players engaged, more out of awkwardness than anything else.
On this side, I received a warm welcome and became a fairly regular poster.
My posting slowed down considerably sometime after January last year (09) when I met Him, first via cmails and then in person.
As we became acquainted I began to understand that while I had a good intuitive sense of D/s relationships I really didn't KNOW ... well, anything really.
I have made so many mistakes and He has been so patient.
Most of the veteran posters are familiar with the following type of post:
sub meets perfect Dom (or Dom meets perfect sub) and everything is so wonderful, even the earth shifts on it's axis... but often a few weeks or months later, when the next chapter is finally written the Dom or sub are suddenly revealed to either have had some dreadful secret or are simply just flawed human beings.
As for us...
This is neither a marathon nor a sprint.
I am in awe of the process and many of you will find it dull.
I will not be insulted if you are bored to tears.
Whether it is washing a wall or cleaning a window, what was acceptable last year, doesn't meet this year's standards and most of the time I don't have to be told. I simply know... all while not letting the perfect becoming the enemy of the good.
What moves me the most is that last year when we conversed about what it meant to be His, it was no less real or true then, but it has so much more depth of meaning now.
Everything is transient.
I have struggled with that knowledge for a long time.
There is joy in that but also sorrow for the inevitable ending... sometime.
But always within the struggle I embrace the gift.
I am grateful to CollarMe for providing the venue and the Mods for keeping the grounds picked up and tidy.
I am grateful to the posters who have given me a warm reception and also the ones who have challenged me sometimes.
I am so appreciative to those who have reached across to the other side in personal cmails and to those who call me friend. 
And I am honored that I am worthy of being His.
So, for those who insist that CM is full of nothing but fakes, scammers, wannabes and losers...
I really don't understand what it was that I must have been doing wrong all these years.
angelikaJ
a perfectly imperfect sub
who found a perfectly wonderful Dom
(after getting to know many of the great people on the boards here)
< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 6/1/2010 9:49:31 AM >
_____________________________
The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm
30 fluffy points!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg
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