RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

Message

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/21/2006 12:56:57 PM)
Have it surgically removed. Surgeons in Romanistan charge about $50 for that operation. I have a whole stack of clothes I need to wash, but my in suite washer dryer is just too far away. How do I become less lazy? Yours, benji

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/21/2006 1:36:21 PM)
quote: I have a whole stack of clothes I need to wash, but my in suite washer dryer is just too far away. How do I become less lazy? Glue a rabid badger to your inner thigh by your naughty bits. Nothing says get moving better than a woodland creature gnawing on your willie. I want to do something with my kids this weekend... any ideas?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/21/2006 4:10:04 PM)
quote: I want to do something with my kids this weekend... any ideas? Marinade overnight in garlic, oil, and Italian spices, lightly flour. Heat 1/4 inch of olive oil in a deep fry pan, place in fry pan turning once. Serve with fava beans and a nice Chianti. My son leaves to go back to school Sunday afternoon. What should I do to/with beth first?

Takethiswaltz -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 12:48:06 AM)
Send him off with a full stomach. Marinate her overnight in garlic, oil, italian spices. Lightly flour. Heat 1/4 inch olive oil in fry pan and fry lightly, turning once. Serve with fava beans and a nice chianti. (sorry, beth [;)] ) My sense of humor seems to be continully lacking in political correctness. What can I do to get my PC back?

Wulfchyld -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 12:59:42 AM)
I will assume you pawned it. Take the ticket to the pawn shop, load PC in car. Unload PC, carry to house, plug in, hook up… boda boom bada bing.. Your PC is back. I was thinking about boycotting import fireworks this 4th of July. Would napalm or thermite put on a better show?

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 3:11:04 AM)
Thermite, though I think chinese fireworks still look pretier quote... "I think its stupid not giving Hu Jin Tao a full state visit, just because Bush Disagrees with Human Rights" anyway... I'm paying for an 8meg connection, but it seems to peak at about 2. what can I do?

SirNico -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 3:40:21 AM)
as far as hanging up a bird feeder, i would definitely opt for a submissive that can stand being upside down for long periods of time and has an affinity for feathers.

Level -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 6:21:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch Thermite, though I think chinese fireworks still look pretier quote... "I think its stupid not giving Hu Jin Tao a full state visit, just because Bush Disagrees with Human Rights" anyway... I'm paying for an 8meg connection, but it seems to peak at about 2. what can I do? Make it take a nap and give it some viagra. My arm hurts when I do this. Any thoughts?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 10:00:22 AM)
quote: My arm hurts when I do this. Any thoughts? Two things will cure this. Either saw your arm off with a McDonalds butter knife or hold your arm in that position until your mind accepts the pain as something normal and it will no longer hurt. My white undershirts are looking a bit dingy even after they are washed, any thoughts as to how to get them bright white again?

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 2:33:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge My white undershirts are looking a bit dingy even after they are washed, any thoughts as to how to get them bright white again? First, put the undershirt on. Then have a friend spray snow-white spray paint over the entire surface and let it dry. The undershirt will positively gleam! Repeat the process on subsequent days until all of the undershirts are whitened. I think I have found the perfect man except for one thing--his snoring. Any advice on how this can be stopped?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 2:40:07 PM)
quote: I think I have found the perfect man except for one thing--his snoring. Any advice on how this can be stopped? Snoring is a very serious problem. You might try filling his nostrils and mouth with quick setting cement. How will he breathe? Give him a tracheotomy. There are some wild cats in my neighborhood. They hang around the garbage dumpster late at night. They shit all over the place and I am getting tired of this. Any suggestions as to what I can do?

ChainedExistence -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 7:31:49 PM)
Bring the garbage dumpster in your house...then they'll have no where to go. Besides, no one will have to take the garbage out for a LONG time! Someone keeps finishing the last Coke in the house without telling me, and I can't get my morning Coke Fix...what can I do?

knees2you -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 9:19:55 PM)
Poke a small hole in the Bottom of the cans, drain it, and fill it with Your Golden Nector. Then plug the hole up with a little paste. Garunteed to make them stop after one sip! quote: *"Yes I Said It!"* My cat keeps drinking my coffee, and He's climbing the walls! what should I do? Always, Ant[;)]

rivenmoon -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 9:34:05 PM)
[/quote] My cat keeps drinking my coffee, and He's climbing the walls! what should I do? Always, Ant[;)] [/quote] To stop a cat drinking your coffee immediately stop dunking your tuna fish sandwiches in it. To stop a cat climbing walls tilt house/apartment on to side.

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/22/2006 11:08:10 PM)
Someone forgot to post a new question... I found a little leak under my sink. I don't want to call my landlord to have it fixed, any thoughts as to what I can do?

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 5:37:23 AM)
This is a very common problem we all get from time to time. The solution is very simple and straight forward though. I saw this on a DIY programme the other week. Step 1: Drill a second hole in the bottom of the basin. Step 2: Get a load of hair and shove it down the original plug hole thus blocking it Step 3: Drill hole in pipe under sink, below previously installed hair bung in step 2 above. Step 4: Get some common garden hose and connect the second hole in the sink as created in step 1 above with the hole created in step 3 above. Step 5: Seal the pipe in place with candle wax. Another suggested option is to go straight to step 5 and seal the original leak with candle wax. This is only advisable in the most extreme situation and as a quick fix solution. After doing a life cycle costing analysis and taking into consideration the annual equivalent equity rate it is obvious to see that the ‘head straight to step 5’ option is complete madness and laughed upon by the Association of named aquatic leak specialists. Anals also recommends that work should only be carried out by an approved sink specialist. Once the ass has been appointed to carry out the work a certificate of word done can then be issued. The batteries in my remote control have gone leaving me unable to turn the TV over what can I do?

rivenmoon -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 6:53:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge Someone forgot to post a new question... *sorry folks* QUOTE: FullCircle The batteries in my remote control have gone leaving me unable to turn the TV over what can I do? Take your life into your own hands and either call the landlord or tv repair man remember to wear the long blonde wig and little girls outfit. My remote is too complicated but that is not my problem.... My problem is when dealing with male shop assistants I dont have a long blonde wig and cannot afford to buy one, what shall i do?????????? -Handicapped brunette

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 5:00:03 PM)
quote: My problem is when dealing with male shop assistants I dont have a long blonde wig and cannot afford to buy one, what shall i do?????????? -Handicapped brunette Well, here is a business opportunity if I have ever heard of one. You should start rent-a-blonde.com business. This way, you can have blondes available for any task that requires someone that is blonde. I will only require a 75% share of the business and stock options. I fear that blondes will want to do mean and nasty things to me after this post. Any suggestions as to how to prevent that?

yourMissTress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 5:51:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I fear that blondes will want to do mean and nasty things to me after this post. Any suggestions as to how to prevent that? dress up like MC Hammer and dance away from them as they attack. I'm tired of all the current hair removal options, anyone have a new idea?

rivenmoon -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 7:12:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress I'm tired of all the current hair removal options, anyone have a new idea? Dye your hair dark black and move to palestine, hairily, you will blend in quiet well there. *Why doesnt anyone understand me? and what can I do about it.......* George W. Bush

Page: << < prev 18 19 [20] 21 22 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625