RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 8:59:05 PM)
quote: Why doesnt anyone understand me? and what can I do about it....... George W. Bush Stop talking. Drink a lot of coffee and then shave with a straight razor. I have something in my eye. I am not sure what to do.

yourMissTress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 9:05:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I have something in my eye. I am not sure what to do. Get a large poker and set it in a roaring fire for at least 30 minutes, then gently dig at your eye until you find it. I don't know where to buy a pregnancy test for my earthworms, can anyone help me?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 9:09:03 PM)
quote: I don't know where to buy a pregnancy test for my earthworms, can anyone help me? Find your local chapter of Planned Earthworm Parenthood. I want to invest a little money in something. Any solid stock leads I can look into?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 9:36:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I want to invest a little money in something. Any solid stock leads I can look into? depending on the weight and temperment of the stock---braided nylon is good, but this slave would recommend leather. random folk put this slave on a pedestal, how does she keep from falling off?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 9:55:57 PM)
quote: random folk put this slave on a pedestal, how does she keep from falling off? 15 inch lag bolts should do the trick. I need to cut the grass for my mother. Is there a quick way to get this done?

BitaTruble -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 11:06:16 PM)
quote: I need to cut the grass for my mother. Is there a quick way to get this done? Keep a herd of cows in the yard. I have a callus on my finger from holding a pencil. What's the best way to get rid of it?

UtopianRanger -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 11:35:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: I need to cut the grass for my mother. Is there a quick way to get this done? Keep a herd of cows in the yard. I have a callus on my finger from holding a pencil. What's the best way to get rid of it? Grab a pneumatic die grinder and cut it off. The water that flows from my well to the 2500 gallon holding tank is very cloudy. What should I do?

rivenmoon -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/23/2006 11:59:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: I need to cut the grass for my mother. Is there a quick way to get this done? Keep a herd of cows in the yard. I have a callus on my finger from holding a pencil. What's the best way to get rid of it? The water that flows from my well to the 2500 gallon holding tank is very cloudy. What should I do? This is what happens when you fail to listen to advice in the first place, never put your mother-in-law down the well, it clouds, smells and attracts neighbourhood cats. Remove her and place in next door neighbours well instead. How can I make people see the real deep inner intelligent me and not just whats on the outside. -Paris Hilton

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 6:41:38 AM)
quote: How can I make people see the real deep inner intelligent me and not just whats on the outside. -Paris Hilton Make another sex video with your friends, but this time in a classroom setting. React to the action by quoting appropriate Nietzsche philosophy throughout. Of course protest loudly and publicly about the perils of being "famous"; while noting where the DVD can be purchased. We are traveling back east for my son's graduation and don't have anyone to watch the dogs or water the plants for the week that we won't be here.

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 11:24:19 AM)
quote: We are traveling back east for my son's graduation and don't have anyone to watch the dogs or water the plants for the week that we won't be here. Take them with you. All your dogs and plants will miss your loving touch and would suffer needlessly at the hands of another. If you don't have room in your car, either rent a clamshell carrier or strap them to the roof of the car. Dogs just love wind in their face and the plants will enjoy the sun and fresh air. I may have to buy another car and I don't want to spend a lot. Any suggestions for a reliable brand of car for me?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 4:19:33 PM)
quote: Any suggestions for a reliable brand of car for me? Guage - FORGET the car. The new secret President Bush plan that addresses both the price of gas and the immigration policy is to bring over the idea of rickshaws from China. Finalizing the deal was the real reason that President Hu came over from China. Rickshaws pulled by illegal aliens given a "worker visa" will fuel the next economic boom! I'm a sarcastic son of a bitch who derives sadistic pleasure from torturing people by having them wonder if I'm "serious" or not. I enjoy it so much I want to do it more often - any advice? (HA - you thought I was going to ask how to curtail my sarcasm?!) BTW - your advise about the dogs and plants won't work, we're flying and beth won't let me tie the dogs to the wing.

BitaTruble -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 8:05:05 PM)
quote: BTW - your advise about the dogs and plants won't work, we're flying and beth won't let me tie the dogs to the wing. It's all good. If you don't watch the dogs, the plants will get watered. quote: I'm a sarcastic son of a bitch who derives sadistic pleasure from torturing people by having them wonder if I'm "serious" or not. I enjoy it so much I want to do it more often - any advice? I am also a sadist, so read this answer carefully and follow its advice to the letter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My mother wants to come to MN for a visit. She's a bitch. I hate her. Being in the same room with her for more than 10 mins makes my teeth itch. I don't need advice about that.. I just wanted to rant. Is that ok?

HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 9:11:10 PM)
Neither, have your ex boyfriend pluck them out one by one with tweezers after you have bathed in ice cold water, then have him apply rubbing alcohol liberally to make sure it does not get infected. What is the best music to play during a flogging scene?

HouseofBear -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 9:16:34 PM)
Ok, somehow that was screwed up, chuckles. And have fun ranting, in fact maybe you should express this to her yourself (very bad advice) and I repeat the question of the best music to play during a flogging scene, lol.

BitaTruble -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 9:40:14 PM)
Best music to scene to is the Star Spangled Banner. ::trust me on this one!:: Himself and I have nailed about 100 items to our dungeon walls and we are moving soon. What's the best way to patch up the holes?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 9:50:01 PM)
quote: Himself and I have nailed about 100 items to our dungeon walls and we are moving soon. What's the best way to patch up the holes? Get a can of spray cheese and fill up the holes. The awning on my mother's porch is coming lose, I am not sure what to do.

champagnewishes -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/24/2006 9:52:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Himself and I have nailed about 100 items to our dungeon walls and we are moving soon. What's the best way to patch up the holes? Leave the holes and tell the owners there is a real bad termite problem in that room. Dang Gauge...you beat me to it...LOL...as for your Mom's awning...let it blow and show Mom her new weather vane. My entire life is now housed in a 10'x15' storage unit...should i continue to pay rent on it or buy a new life?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/25/2006 6:18:22 AM)
quote: My entire life is now housed in a 10'x15' storage unit...should i continue to pay rent on it or buy a new life? Why not trade? Don't pay the rent and when the unit goes up for auction attend. Don't bid on your stuff, but buy another unit's contents of the same size. Assume the life of the person's contents you purchased Voilà - NEW LIFE and savings on rent! Having a play party at my house soon. What 'finger foods' should I have beth prepare?

candystripper -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/25/2006 12:27:40 PM)
well, since the dogs are already worrying Y/you........ i want to quit smoking but still smoke. What do i do? candystripper

Pavel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/25/2006 2:19:22 PM)
Keep a small fire burning in your hat, it'll be just like smokeing, only not. I've got 30 pages worth of papers due in the next week, what should I do about them?

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