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RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/4/2010 6:47:11 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

To the OP: did you ever hear the following expressions?

1. "How you get 'em is how she'll leave you?

2. Translated from the Yiddish "When the prick stands up, the mind goes blank".

Observation: there is at least the appearance of disrespect in this relationship. She disrespects you by not being honest; you express disrespect by saying "I'm the only one banging her".

Without respect, you have no relationship.



Yeah, that troubled me too, especially in a new relationship. I mean, after you have been together for awhile that is one thing, but in this context it seemed kinda like an old bull that had marked his territory to keep out the younger ones. That is how he is behaving too, by precluding her speaking to her ex, etc...


I would email with my first dom after Sinergy and I got together. I did't lie about it, but I knew he wasn't going to be threatened by it. Perhaps this 18 year old is intuitive enough to understand he has that "I'm the one banging her" mentality and knows how he would react to this....

Personally speaking, I do not think it is healthy for someone to have their every communication scrutinized because of trust.. but that is just me

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 161
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/4/2010 7:41:57 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dwmstl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I thought all cell phone logs did that.


They do. My point was that it's my account, so I can check usage any time.



The fact that you feel you may need too, really tells you all you need to know.

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to dwmstl)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 1:18:11 AM   
Plasticine


Posts: 260
Joined: 6/9/2010
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I know what we can do... I'll call my abilities PlastiScreening and you can have warm reading back.  All of the abilities which I profess only belong to my brand new system of PlastiScreening. (not yet sold in stores).  They have no basis in psychology or chicanery at all as I just made them all up right now, even though I'm sure that I can do them.  It was with this new fantastic kit that I scryd this very thread and bequeathed revelatory wisdom to the masses.  All Hail PlastiScreening!

So now I'll just refer to this post when asked what I m doing, and there will surely be no more confusion.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 1:27:51 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

My mom grew up at the carny (my grandfather's part time job) and she can do all that stuff too! But I will spare her this thread.





This explains ever so much.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 10:04:21 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

My mom grew up at the carny (my grandfather's part time job) and she can do all that stuff too! But I will spare her this thread.





This explains ever so much.




_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 12:06:02 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Plasticine

I know what we can do... I'll call my abilities PlastiScreening and you can have warm reading back.  All of the abilities which I profess only belong to my brand new system of PlastiScreening. (not yet sold in stores).  They have no basis in psychology or chicanery at all as I just made them all up right now, even though I'm sure that I can do them.  It was with this new fantastic kit that I scryd this very thread and bequeathed revelatory wisdom to the masses.  All Hail PlastiScreening!

So now I'll just refer to this post when asked what I m doing, and there will surely be no more confusion.



Does it cost $19.99 and it's only sold on the less popular non-cable channels after midnight? I think I might have bought it! I think I have it in my garage next to my Ronco album collection!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Plasticine)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 12:10:49 PM   
Plasticine


Posts: 260
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
Does it cost $19.99 and it's only sold on the less popular non-cable channels after midnight? I think I might have bought it! I think I have it in my garage next to my Ronco album collection!


There was a limited time free distribution to Switches from Nebraska.  That was our test run. Hold onto that its a keeper!

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 12:17:55 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
Sweet! That's true of all the stuff I have in my garage! I'm going to be RICH! Rich I tell ya!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Plasticine)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 4:27:12 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Plasticine

I know what we can do... I'll call my abilities PlastiScreening and you can have warm reading back.  All of the abilities which I profess only belong to my brand new system of PlastiScreening. (not yet sold in stores).  They have no basis in psychology or chicanery at all as I just made them all up right now, even though I'm sure that I can do them.  It was with this new fantastic kit that I scryd this very thread and bequeathed revelatory wisdom to the masses.  All Hail PlastiScreening!

So now I'll just refer to this post when asked what I m doing, and there will surely be no more confusion.



Can we simply call it "Nonsense"... Sorry Plast, but there's a world of difference between a warm reading, and reading between the lines. I don't doubt that you're astute, I don't doubt that you're empathetic - but you absolutely cannot do any decent warm reading from a couple of forum posts. And to claim to be able to is either dishonest, or delusional.


(in reply to Plasticine)
Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/5/2010 5:41:15 PM   
Plasticine


Posts: 260
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
Can we simply call it "Nonsense"... Sorry Plast, but there's a world of difference between a warm reading, and reading between the lines. I don't doubt that you're astute, I don't doubt that you're empathetic - but you absolutely cannot do any decent warm reading from a couple of forum posts. And to claim to be able to is either dishonest, or delusional.


...And to frame it that way is to present a false dichotomy.

Ed: I will concede that I presented false dichotomies regarding the OP and the girl, there was always answer c) I don't know.  If I had thought c) was more likely than a) or b) there would not have been a list.  Similarly if you thought that you didn't know what I was doing you wouldn't present "either lying or crazy".  And so it goes...


< Message edited by Plasticine -- 7/5/2010 5:55:21 PM >

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/7/2010 12:03:52 PM   
kuppykake


Posts: 125
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dwmstl

Seeking advice and opinions from other Doms on this one.

Some quick background: I'm a DaddyDom with a sub/little girl. She's been in my home two weeks. I relocated her here from another state.

I discovered that she has already lied to me several times. Most of the lies revolve around her talking to her former boyfriend (vanilla relationship there) via text and phone (while living under my roof, mind you) for the past week, after being clearly forbidden to have any further contact with him. She knew this was one of my terms upfront before either of us made any decisions. She says her reasons for talking to him were to "get over him". Basically, she left him for me, so yes it's a very recent former relationship.

My initial reaction is that I will never be able to trust her and to release her and send her back where she came from. She has begged me not to do so, said she's sorry a million times and offered to do anything to earn my trust back if I would keep her. She says she still wants to be mine and never discussed getting back with the ex, only to get the closure she claims she never got. She admits she still has "feelings" for him, which I'm not happy about, but at least she was honest about that much. She says that although she cares about the guy, she was never happy in a relationship that didn't meet her needs and that I'm everything she wanted in a DaddyDom. Up until this point, I believed she was everything I was looking for as well.

So, fellow Doms, am I over-reacting? Should I give her a second chance or cut her loose? If I do decide to keep her, suggestions are invited on an appropriate punishment.




Well I am no Dom, but I would like to offer you some insight on this one.  I can't say whether or not you should give her a chance or let her go... that is ultimately up to you.  I will say, however, that it seems like you are somewhat of a rebound for her.  She left her old boyfriend for you.  If she was with him for a while and loved him, it's going to take time to get over him not being there.  That time is crucial, and you need to give it to her.  She needs to come to terms with the end of a relationship and the beginning of a much different one.  I must say I really feel for her, she must be going through a lot right now.  I understand why you are upset, but try to put yourself in her shoes.  My advice is to let her know how you feel about her, and leave her past out of it.  Assure her that you are going to be there for her, because thats what she needs.  In a sense she is making a gamble... giving up something she had for something that "might" be better.  That's something I would be much too afraid to do.  Assure her that she has made the right decision if you decide to keep her.  Do everything you can to make he comfortable with you.  Punish her for lying, but let her know that you will listen when she wants to talk.  Try not to seem angry, because jealousy and accusations will lead you nowhere.  If you decide to keep her, you will have to pull some faith out of you from somewhere.  You are taking a gamble as well....should you risk getting hurt for something that "might" be amazing?  That's what you need to ask yourself.  I know this was long, but I really wanted to give some thoughts on this one.  Good luck to you!!

(in reply to dwmstl)
Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Am I Over-Reacting? - 7/11/2010 5:44:09 PM   
vaiyanen


Posts: 10
Joined: 11/28/2008
Status: offline
This is just my opinion, but one thought always comes to mind whenever someone comes to a public forum and asks other people whether or not they should end a relationship.

It's already over.

If you have enough doubt in your mind to be willing to seek the counsel of strangers over an intimate and personal matter then something is so inherently broken in the relationship that it's not like to be salvaged.

She's 18. Legally an adult, but mentally and emotionally she is not. There isn't some magic switch in the brain that flips from child to adult on the date we reach our majority. It sounds unreasonable to expect her to behave as anything but a teenager.

I'm not saying lying is acceptable, I'm just saying that based on the information provided, this was already a pattern for her when she began corresponding with you behind her boyfriend's back. You were party to that and accepted it. Even though you stipulated that the relationship had to end before meeting, you still set a foundation which let her know that deceit is acceptable to you under certain circumstances. The problem with that logic being that liars tend not to discriminate against anyone when they dispense their dishonesty.

I'm sure having a nubile, young thing at your beck and call sounded like a great idea at the time. But, you forgot that there's a whole world of extra, not-so-fun stuff that comes with youth.

It's also a little concerning that you're looking for suggestions as to appropriate punishment. If you are the leader in this relationship, is that not your domain? You should know better than anyone here the appropriate and most effective measures to take in disciplining her.

-vaiyanen

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 172
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