RE: Would someone please explain to me..

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Would someone please explain to me..

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Would someone please explain to me..

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 3:13:01 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

It sounds like most people agree that D/s is an orientation. Therefore, anyone with that orientation deserves the title "Master", "Dom", Sub", "slave", whatever, as soon as they decide that the word applies to them.

pam

I think that these terms are highly subjective, truly.

There used to be much debate on these forums about this topic... and flames thrown, high body count....lol

What makes someone a master or not a master, a slave or not a slave... etc etc etc... I leave that to much more experienced people than myself. I do not care what people label themselves.... if they feel they have an inner orientation toward a label, go them!

I think that if they go out to public events and claim they are "master" and expect everyone else to accept that or call them that, they will be very disappointed.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 21

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 3:22:18 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

I at times call myself the Queen Of Sheba, or Fred.

I am sooooooo gonna remember this

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 22

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 3:28:05 PM

FetishRose

Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

Probably because that's the label they prefer for themselves, or that they feel they most identify with. After all, the terminology can mean different things to different people. In my dynamic, I consider myself to be, simply, his girl. While others may term me submissive, pet, consort, even slave, I don't particularly feel those apply to me. On this site, however, submissive is probably the closest I can come.
My Sir, on the other hand, prefers to be more known as my Man, man of the house, etc. While he is dominant, holds mastery over me, etc etc, he does not choose those terms for himself, unless in choosing silly labeling on this site.
We are young. I just turned 22, and he is about to turn 26. While we have less than a half decade of experience between us, we do live this lifestyle every day that we've been together. It may not be by the book, as it were, but it works for us, and we are building on our experiences together. So, I say...we'll call ourselves whatever the hell we want

_____________________________

Rose-y Pose-y, Puddin' Pie. Kissed Some Dommes and Made Them Cry.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 23

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 4:37:33 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

If I were 20 years old right now, I think I'd be posting a lengthy response. Seriously some of us have been drawn to our orientations at an early age. There are many things that a person has figured out by the age of 19 or 20. All depends upon the person though, there are some seriously dumbass people that are in their 30's or 40's or other age brackets. So it all depends.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 24

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 4:39:35 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

My former submissive and I entered a D/s dynamic when we were 20, and were together for 5 years. He was mature and responsible, and it suited both of us. I know other young couples who are also in very happy D/s or M/s dynamics. If an individual person is irresponsible and immature, they shouldn't enter a power dynamic no matter what their age. I've seen plenty of 40- and 50-somethings who are very childish, in the throes of sub frenzy, or who give or accept velcro collars as frequently as they change their underwear.

Top and bottom wouldn't have been accurate labels/descriptions, since we were engaging in D/s as well as bondage and S/M. I've had egalitarian kinky relationships since then, and did use Top/bottom or switch terminology to describe them. I think that figuring out what you need and want early on is a positive, not a negative thing. I've been in only two relationships which were negative, and I ended both of them fairly quickly. I don't feel that D/s or S/M implies abuse, or even makes it significantly more likely. There are a lot of vanilla abusers, and if anything, their victims tend to be less informed and aware of potential problems.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 7/4/2010 4:44:38 PM >

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 25

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 4:53:19 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

To no one in particular: it is difficult for me to imagine how a 19 or 20 year old knows s/he has slave traits. Submissive - perhaps. It is even more difficult for me to imagine how a 19 or 20 year old is a "master". I dont mean to offend anyone, but I do think years of experience count for something in life, as well as in the lifestyle.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 26

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 4:55:32 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Everyone's gotta start somewhere. It does not bother me that young adults enter the lifestyle and embrace the labels.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 27

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 4:59:59 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

We didn't use D/s terminology until we'd been dating for a while, maybe 6 months or so. I hadn't happened to run across them. IMHO, the line between D/s and M/s is determined by the individual people, so if there is a big difference in their minds, I don't see any reason why any other person should have any say in the terms they use. There is no licensing body that administers the right to call oneself a Master or a slave. *shrugs*

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 28

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 5:01:34 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I agree. I've seen submissives whom I would label as slaves and vice versa, all depends on the people and their relationship.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 29

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 5:09:01 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

They do it the way any of the rest of us do it, we convince someone else that kneeling before us is a good idea.

Are they going to convince a 35 year old woman milf who is in mid career that they are the Dominant of their dreams? Not likely, but are they going to convince some 18 year old girl? All the time, this site is full of couples like that. Would I be impressed by his mastery of anything? Probably not but they are going to look at me and see a fat, balding old man who is set in his ways and boring.

That said, there used to be a kid here by the name of MadRabbit who was like 25 or something and I would have stacked him against a lot of the cool kids here almost twice his age. Ishtarr is 25 and she has at times taught me a thing or two.

They are what they are. There is a dungeon local to me that I derisively call the kiddie dungeon because it is overrun with TNG kids and to me what goes on there is laughable but they are having a good time. I am sure they look at me and laugh to.

So lets just all point and laugh and go off and fuck like rabbits and not worry about it.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 30

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 5:12:21 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Yep, my barometer for other's relationships is pretty much, if it is consensual and they aren't hurting others, it is none of my business. Although if they post stupid, silly things on a message board, I may intervene, ever so briefly.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 31

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 5:12:33 PM

wittynamehere

Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline

I've been with girls who felt submissive since they were very small, as far back as they can remember. Turning 18 doesn't suddenly change who you are in my opinion.

_____________________________

I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 32

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 5:13:53 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking
To no one in particular: it is difficult for me to imagine how a 19 or 20 year old knows s/he has slave traits. Submissive - perhaps. It is even more difficult for me to imagine how a 19 or 20 year old is a "master". I dont mean to offend anyone, but I do think years of experience count for something in life, as well as in the lifestyle.

Personally, I've never refered to myself as a "Master" unless I'm in a M/s relationship. Other wise I'm just a lowly human with the Dominant sub-title. ;P Being a Master in a M/s realtionship verses hanging the title of "Master of BDSM" are two seperate labels. LOL.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 33

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 5:18:16 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

I've never completed my training with Heavy Dungeon Equipment, especially medevil water torture devices... so I'm a few credits shy of having earned my "Masters" lol ( a little humor with a certain amount of truth to it ).

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 7/4/2010 5:19:16 PM >

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 34

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 6:02:53 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

I met a 19 year old dominant online once. Until I found out his age, I thought, from chatting with him, that he was 53 or thereabouts. People don't usually fool me that way; typically one's age broadcasts itself. He quickly took a slave and became a Master. He was very much like my own master and I would have trusted his decisions with the same security that I trusted my master's.

It is rare to meet someone like that, but they do appear now and then. My own master was always old. I was told he acted like a 30-year-old when he was child--I heard lots of unusual stories. I am not sure what causes someone to be mature when they are young, but it very occasionally happens. The opposite seems far more common: submissives in their 40s and up who are still very young in their attitudes and outlook.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 35

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 6:15:47 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

I dont agree with that at all. I have met many "doms" here who have very poor relationship skills, who throw their weight around inappropriately (eg, "Call me Sir" right out of the box); who expect a mature woman to act, dress and look like she is in her 20's. I would say that "mature" subs have a far more realistic view of what and who we are in our middle years.

(in reply to CaringandReal)

Post #: 36

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 6:44:43 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

I don't see a problem with someone that age calling themselves a dominant or slave. If that's what they are that's what they are. Why you left out submissive is intriguing. As far as the master thing goes I have always felt that there is no such thing as calling yourself a master. That is something that someone else sees in you - most often your submissive or slave or something like that.

Does a 40-something just starting out get to call themselves those things right out of the gate? If so then what's good for the old goose is good for the young gander.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 37

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 6:46:32 PM

gedienstig

Posts: 155
Joined: 5/9/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

and I dont mean to be "ageist" or heaven forbid, politically incorrect with this question - but how does a 19 or 20 year call themselves a dominant or master, or a slave? This is a serious question, folks - I realize that some of us have always known we were/are different, but ...?

Well, I was never really interested in sexual matters as a kid/very young teen, until I was browsing through a comic book, kinda influenced by the manga style, and there were a few Femdom pictures, and I immediately felt that this was the thing that got me aroused. I had no idea what BDSM meant by then, well maybe the slightest hint. I had my first real life S&M experience around the age of 19 or something.

Should I have waited to call myself submissive or a slave at that point, even though I already knew 8 years ago this was what it would lead to. Or I'm 25 now, am I still too young to call myself submissive after knowing this for 13 years now? Some people don't discover their feelings until late in life. I don't think age is really something which should determine whether youc an call yourself slave/sub/master/mistress/dom/... It is how you feel inside, and nobody besides you yourself can judge that.

_____________________________

If they say why, why?
Tell 'em that it's human nature

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 38

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 6:47:13 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I don't agree with that at all. I have met many "doms" here who have very poor relationship skills, who throw their weight around inappropriately (eg, "Call me Sir" right out of the box); who expect a mature woman to act, dress and look like she is in her 20's. I would say that "mature" subs have a far more realistic view of what and who we are in our middle years.

Nope, I can't tell you how many whack jobs in their 40s and 50s I have met. If you add in the overly romantic fluff jobs who are waiting for Mr. perfect to ride in and fix their mess of a life...age TENDS to bring wisdom and youth OFTEN lacks it, but there is no guarantee on either.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 39

RE: Would someone please explain to me.. - 7/4/2010 6:47:30 PM

MagisterCapto

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

To no one in particular: it is difficult for me to imagine how a 19 or 20 year old knows s/he has slave traits. Submissive - perhaps. It is even more difficult for me to imagine how a 19 or 20 year old is a "master". I dont mean to offend anyone, but I do think years of experience count for something in life, as well as in the lifestyle.

First of all, 'master' as a title can be defined in too many different ways - depending on the relationship, the surroundings, the persons participating. As for what I believe you are up to - we live in an age, where all the vast knowledge of the world is easily accessible for anyone willing to learn, and capable of doing so, reaching from cooking recipes to mandarin chineese and nuclear physics. With that in mind, tell me one thing, where creativity, and a quick mind cannot make up for experience? (In fact, personally I would go as far as to say, all experience does, is makeing up for not being able to anticipate reactions, but I'm aware that that's pretty arguable.)
I am the last person to disagree, there are a lot of immature idiots running round and about. But that's not a matter of age, nor of experience.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Would someone please explain to me..

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109