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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 2:20:16 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Stuff like that doesn't deter me from posting about my sexual interests or turn ons either way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

For the purpose of this discussion, I am going to roughly define a drive by as the following:

Using that rough definition, would you post about your kinks, turn-ons, or sexual desires more if there were fewer drive by posts in this section?

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 2:27:26 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I think I shared my viewpoint on this in the other thread about CM. I don't really get the whole "wanker" kneejerk reaction to SOME threads. There really is an overly cautious group reaction towards sharing any sexual content here these days that I don't fully understand and I don't see it on fet at all.

That's odd because I do and some groups moderate heavily and you never see the post in question because it's deleted. I'm always intrigued when people compare CM to Fetlife since half the people on CM (especially submissives) would be heavily ridiculed for the things they post on here over there. It's a different world and for the most part they are far less tolerant than what I've observed on this site.

As for the question, I don't post things of that nature too frequently. It isn't a subject I need to entertain explicitly for the heck of it. But that has more to do with my countenance and how I present myself rather than an aversion of mailbox infiltration from other parties.

~porcelaine

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 2:41:28 PM

Musicmystery

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quote:

I tend to believe that women talk more openly about the topics of our desires when we feel it is a safe environment to do so.

Why do you feel this is unique to estrogen?

There are many things I just don't get into because it's a pie throwing atmosphere here.

< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 8/12/2010 2:42:14 PM >

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 3:36:07 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Using that rough definition, would you post about your kinks, turn-ons, or sexual desires more if there were fewer drive by posts in this section?

Probably not, because I just don't care enough to engage in that type of self-censorship. The vast majority of my posts have little to no overtly erotic content. For that matter, I seriously doubt anyone could derive erotic gratification of any sort from my posts unless I'm flirting with someone in P&RS. And then, once again, I don't care.

Now, if I pulled out the stops and really started writing (as opposed to using my typical academia-flavored style), then I'd either get swarmed by the wankers or get accused of being one myself. But I will probably never do so unless I get a wild hair and post someting in the Creative section. The chances of that happening are slim so the point is moot.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 4:40:41 PM

littlesarbonn

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I rarely post these days because I no longer feel I'm part of the community in that whenever I try to engage a conversation I find myself being ignored and the conversation turning into a cliquish sort of thing where people are going back and forth over "in" jokes. And I'm a regular, so imagine how this must actually feel to people on the outskirts of the community wanting to join in.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 5:15:55 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I find it sad that people would be intimidated to post anywhere they like; who cares what others say back to you?

This is my opinion as well. I don't see CM as a popularity contest or a chance to boost my ego. If people here like me great, if I make friends from it awesome, but I honestly don't really care much what the massive "them" who are unknown people on the internet thinks about me and I cannot fathom how so many people that come here whine from that perspective.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 5:20:27 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I think I shared my viewpoint on this in the other thread about CM. I don't really get the whole "wanker" kneejerk reaction to SOME threads. There really is an overly cautious group reaction towards sharing any sexual content here these days that I don't fully understand and I don't see it on fet at all.

That's odd because I do and some groups moderate heavily and you never see the post in question because it's deleted. I'm always intrigued when people compare CM to Fetlife since half the people on CM (especially submissives) would be heavily ridiculed for the things they post on here over there. It's a different world and for the most part they are far less tolerant than what I've observed on this site.

As for the question, I don't post things of that nature too frequently. It isn't a subject I need to entertain explicitly for the heck of it. But that has more to do with my countenance and how I present myself rather than an aversion of mailbox infiltration from other parties.

~porcelaine

I'm not sure that's true or that you can make any generalizations about fet overall at all. There are SO many groups with varying different rules and ideologies that there essentially is no "whole" concept at all, that's what I actually really dislike about the site. It's like being in a closet and having no idea what the entire building ever looks like. However, what is clear is that there are TONS of groups for the purpose of discussing explicit sexual content and THAT is what the posts in those groups pertain to. From caning to throat fucking to breast play....there is a group with explicit posts and ideas on that subject which was my actual point.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 5:32:45 PM

hereyesruponyou

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I do wonder though about the automatic slap of people asking something that has been asked before. Yes, they can read old responses and learn, but just because you were here when this was asked before, it doesn't mean everyone was. If asking the question anew gets someone else to give a unique viewpoint or information, then we all win. I've never quite gotten why people feel the need to just bash those poster who ask something that isn't new. I mean honestly, if you have heard it all before and don't want to participate again, move on. You are not required to post your opinion to everything asked here. We all know how fast many posts move down the line and disappear... We get new people on here everyday, let them interact for a change...

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 6:51:30 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I rarely post these days because I no longer feel I'm part of the community in that whenever I try to engage a conversation I find myself being ignored and the conversation turning into a cliquish sort of thing where people are going back and forth over "in" jokes. And I'm a regular, so imagine how this must actually feel to people on the outskirts of the community wanting to join in.

What do you consider "being ignored"? I know that I have responded to your posts. As to "in" jokes, they start from familiarity, not contempt. I have twelve thousand posts, you don't even have two thousand. How much participation have you done?

Laurell, I really agree with Porcelaine regarding Fet. I have seen folks torn to SHREDS there. As for the mistress and femdom forums? That bunch of heathers would eat their own young with hoisen sauce. This is decidedly the place of the fluffy bunnies in comparison.

At the same time, I fully agree with you in that I am NOT here to be validated by the internet at large. I have many friends here, most of them realtime folks. The opinions of strangers that do not know me and never will? Not important.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:00:13 PM

littlesarbonn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

What do you consider "being ignored"? I know that I have responded to your posts. As to "in" jokes, they start from familiarity, not contempt. I have twelve thousand posts, you don't even have two thousand. How much participation have you done?

I've done a LOT of participation here. Kind of surprised by your sh***y response. Really didn't think that somehow years of participation here would be chalked up to "I have more posts than you" rhetoric.

Oh well. Live and learn.

I give up and should have known better. Sorry for offering an opinion. Won't happen again.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:07:02 PM

LadyHibiscus

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See, that's what I mean!! Yes it was a shitty response, but what is YOUR response? More whiny stuff.

THIS PLACE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT. Come and whine, and we will snark at you. Lurking is not participating! Why do Laurel and I know the same in jokes? Because we get around the boards. I post with pretty much no expectation of return. Sometimes people respond, sometimes they don't. Either way, I DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:07:17 PM

BambiBoi

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What I dislike about the "driveby" post is that the response from the forum community is not balanced. When a well known personality posts a raunchy recounting or a requests said nasty goodies, the forum comes to their aid, sharing intimate details. When a new comer does the same thing, the forum turns cold and judgmental.

I understand why this is: We don't want to share this information with strangers, but its fine with our close internet friends. I just wish people didn't look at post count before formulating a reply. Let's say I make two threads.

Thread 1: "hey u guys wuts ur favorite way ur dominate has made u come lol"

Thread 2: "On the topic of vaginal vs. clitoral orgasms, which do you prefer and why?"

I would be disappointed with anyone looking at my low post-count to determine if they were going to answer seriously or shush me back into the corner until I won a paddle or three.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:11:28 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
would you post about your kinks, turn-ons, or sexual desires more if there were fewer drive by posts in this section?

No, regardless of what section it's in, I post what I post & answer what I want to answer........and try to ignore the rest.

~sweetsub~

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:13:43 PM

littlesarbonn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

See, that's what I mean!! Yes it was a shitty response, but what is YOUR response? More whiny stuff.

THIS PLACE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT. Come and whine, and we will snark at you. Lurking is not participating! Why do Laurel and I know the same in jokes? Because we get around the boards. I post with pretty much no expectation of return. Sometimes people respond, sometimes they don't. Either way, I DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

You're exactly the reason for the problem. That's not a whine. This isn't a whine either: Go fuck yourself. You and the high horse you rode in on.

I figure this will get edited by a mod, and I understand. For all those I have known here, I wish you well. I figure my account is over as of this moment as the mods here have never been all that friendly towards me anyway. It's too bad. This used to be a really great place to post.

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:14:11 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
thanks for the email now that you know I am into this, but I am still not into you!

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:18:21 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

What I dislike about the "driveby" post is that the response from the forum community is not balanced. When a well known personality posts a raunchy recounting or a requests said nasty goodies, the forum comes to their aid, sharing intimate details. When a new comer does the same thing, the forum turns cold and judgmental.

I understand why this is: We don't want to share this information with strangers, but its fine with our close internet friends. I just wish people didn't look at post count before formulating a reply. Let's say I make two threads.

Thread 1: "hey u guys wuts ur favorite way ur dominate has made u come lol"

Thread 2: "On the topic of vaginal vs. clitoral orgasms, which do you prefer and why?"

I would be disappointed with anyone looking at my low post-count to determine if they were going to answer seriously or shush me back into the corner until I won a paddle or three.

Okay, obviously I hit a nerve with the post count commentary. Let me say right off that I do not pay much attention to such things generally. Some folks change their sigs multiple times, or come back after a break with a new sig, so number of posts is not that meaningful. Also, I can assure you that I post a lot, but not all of it is golden verbiage. I spend time with my friends here, and we have lots of chatter time.

I think that last sentence is what I was driving at. I SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS HERE. You don't make friends by leaping in, making a post or starting a thread, then NOT returning to it for weeks, if ever. You don't make friends by trotting in now and then with a complaint, or a negative remark.

It's true that posts written in text speak don't win votes. We get emails like that alllll the time. If you find such posts edifying, then respond to them!!

As an aside---BambiBoi, your avatar is fabulous!

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:35:32 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I rarely post these days because I no longer feel I'm part of the community in that whenever I try to engage a conversation I find myself being ignored and the conversation turning into a cliquish sort of thing where people are going back and forth over "in" jokes. And I'm a regular, so imagine how this must actually feel to people on the outskirts of the community wanting to join in.

What do you consider "being ignored"? I know that I have responded to your posts. As to "in" jokes, they start from familiarity, not contempt. I have twelve thousand posts, you don't even have two thousand. How much participation have you done?

Laurell, I really agree with Porcelaine regarding Fet. I have seen folks torn to SHREDS there. As for the mistress and femdom forums? That bunch of heathers would eat their own young with hoisen sauce. This is decidedly the place of the fluffy bunnies in comparison.

At the same time, I fully agree with you in that I am NOT here to be validated by the internet at large. I have many friends here, most of them realtime folks. The opinions of strangers that do not know me and never will? Not important.

My experience on Collar Me is a little different.

I don't always get a response to a post on a thread. Then again ... I don't always write great posts, either! LOL

But there are those occasional times I must have written something good ... because I will get CMail from Ladies who don't even post ... commenting on something on the boards, that strikes a chord with them.

Other times I have gotten CMails, from people on the thread too. Who what to talk more about it ...

Or joke about it! :-)

So maybe, you might wish to begin by taking a look at what you are writing. Maybe make an effort to read what they are saying ... or ask them about it.

That is just my two cents ... take it for what it is worth ...

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:44:53 PM

Lockit

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The problem seems to be that littlesarbonn had a time when he was here that he could post anything and get a response. Back then there were more femdom's around that he knew and many of those left because of the trollish behavior. (I know when I came around it took a very long time for anyone to respond to anything I posted.) I remember doing all I could to make littlesarbonn a friend and he was polite and that was the end of that. When there was a struggle, again I stepped in to show compassion and concern as I thought he was a sweet guy. Then he went away.

Now, he comes back and as soon as a post wasn't cheered over, he complained. Then he would add to his posts, something to the effect that we would ignore him anyway, but this is what he had to say. That whole process was really quick and I saw it coming and coming down until it is what it is today.

It's kind of like going from golden boy to nothing in the process of a year or so and then rather than considering that, complain, whine and think it is everyone else. You leave and a new crowd is in and a lot of the old, out and things will be different. I know I tried to be friendly until it was clear he didn't want to be friendly with me. So why communicate in threads? I don't want to be a stalker. lol

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:47:39 PM

BambiBoi

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*blush* Thank you, Lady Hibiscus.

It's difficult being new anywhere....

People like to know that their time is not being wasted. I have poured valuable time to do research, make graphics to explain my position, and really consider a topic only to have the thread float away into oblivion. While I don't post purely for attention and responses, it is a let down to see the discussion leave just when it was getting interesting (Indiana Jones joke).

To me, it's not spending time with friends which drives me to take a thread seriously... It's spending time with anyone who will listen and respond accordingly. But really, if you can tell they will be worth the time to write... Aren't they then friends?

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RE: If There Were Fewer Drive By's - 8/12/2010 7:51:10 PM

chiaThePet

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Sooooo, say I posted and say I was circumcised.

Would that be like doing a drive by with the top down?

What?

chia* (the pet)

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