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Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 4:14:48 PM

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I was having problems with constant vaginal bleeding so I went to a gynecologist. An ultrasound revealed a small cyst on one ovary and abnormally thick uterine lining. The gynecologist prescribed 14 days of medication to slow my bleeding and scheduled me to come back in 2 weeks for testing. The medication completely stopped my bleeding. She said that was a good sign and was very optomistic. She said the chance of me having cancer at 37 was slim but did a pap smear and a uterine biopsy just to make sure. This morning, she called me with good news and bad news. The good news is that my uterine biposy is normal. The bad news is abnormal cells on my cervix. From what I've read, it would be alot better if it was the other way around. When I looked up the symptoms of uterine cancer, abnormal bleeding is listed as a common warning sign. With cervical cancer, there are no warning signs in the early stages and abnormal bleeding is listed as a symptom of advanced cervical cancer. I've been off the pills for several days and have had some cramping, but haven't started bleeding again yet. I'm really confused because it makes no sense that the pills stopped the bleeding if my uterus or hormones aren't the problem. How is that possible? I'm scheduled for a cone biopsy and possible hysterectomy on September 21. She said if the cells are only pre-cancer (according to what I read it's probably advanced cancer), she will do the hysterectomy. If it's cancer she can't do the hysterectomy and will refer me to a cancer doctor who will do a radical hysterectomy and see how far the cancer has spread. I'm devistated that after finally meeting the right guy 2 1/2 years ago, we're going to have such a short time together before my death. I'm also trying to understand why my body is acting like this is a uterine or hormone problem when my cervix shows otherwise.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 4:28:57 PM

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You have cmail.

Please do not say you are dying. You have to remain calm. Believe me.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/27/2010 4:32:54 PM >

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 4:41:21 PM

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Breathe hon. Don't borrow trouble.

I have had months of nearly constant bleeding, several irregular PAP smears, the cone thing twice, some kind of vacuuming of the womb that gathered the thickened lining for more tests, irregular mammograms, breast biopsies....so on and so forth.

Fact is, for all the pleasure they bring us, pussy and tits and all our feminine parts are sometimes a pain in the ass, and they cause us many many stressful nights.

Go for the tests, quit reading stuff and talk to your doctor, and calm down. Chances are greater that it is something simple, or nothing at all.

Sometimes its hard to be a woman, and it has nothing to do with standin by yer man.

Hang in there chickie.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 4:59:08 PM

stef

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Abnormal bleeding can be caused by hundreds of different things. There is absolutely no benefit for you to start playing "worst case scenario" in your head until the doctors know more.

~stef

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:01:01 PM

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So your doctor didn't tell you that you have to have a hysterectomy no matter what? Mine is insisting on it because I don't have health insurance. She says I would have to keep coming in for expensive tests every 4 months and I'd end up having to get a hysterectomy sooner or later anyway. I read that women with breast and cervical cancer are eligible for medicaid, but I'm not sure if abnormal cells qualify. If by some miracle it shows pre-cancer instead of cancer, I can't afford to keep getting cone biopsies every 4 months until it shows up as cancer. If pre-cancer doesn't qualify, I don't know how I will pay for the hysterectomy.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:04:13 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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It's incredibly premature to just assume you're going to die, even if you do have cancer, a lot of women do recover quite nicely from cancer. So stop reading up on stuff that is just scaring you, and putting it into your head you're either dying or going to die. and let the dr do their diagnosis, and then go from there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'm devistated that after finally meeting the right guy 2 1/2 years ago, we're going to have such a short time together before my death. I'm also trying to understand why my body is acting like this is a uterine or hormone problem when my cervix shows otherwise.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:10:02 PM

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Abnormal cells on a pap smear and a cone biopsy does not translate into a hysterectomy. I would find another doctor if she said so. A pap smear every 4 months for a year is not costly. Find a low cost clinic.

I had a lazer leap then had to go back for a cone biopsy because the lazer didnt take care of it. I went on to have a beautiful child 2 years later and have never had another problem with abnormal pap after. Had a pap every 4 months for a year then back to once a year.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 8/27/2010 5:11:04 PM >

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:10:53 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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Breath.

Stop reading shit online.

You are looking into a crystal ball and assuming the WORST. You don't even have a full diagnosis at this point, you are going to make yourself crazy.

Go do your tests.

Save all your questions for your doctor!

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:13:51 PM

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To those of you who have never experienced this situation FIRST HAND, I would caution you not to advise the OP to not do research.

Research and second and third opinions are life savers.

Information is knowledge and knowledge gives you choices. and options. To advice against that is simply ludicrous.

Take it from me.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:24:08 PM

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When you go to the doctor, you might want to consider a couple of things:
1. Take a friend who can be objective. This is the person who gets the information that your emotions will stop you from getting.
2. Talk to the financial people at the hospital. I guarantee they have someone who can help you with this. They want to be paid, after all.
3. See a friend / therapist / priest / counselor / AA sponsor - someone who can help you through the emotions that you are having

There is nothing wrong with doing research. In fact, knowledge is power. However, make sure you are researching the right thing. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. You will 99% of the time be happily surprised.

Best wishes to you,
sunshine

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:25:37 PM

MistressDarkArt

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dbg-
I've undergone similar circumstances and can understand your anxiety. It's hard to turn off the "what if's" but your first priority is to get a definitive diagnosis. One step at a time. This is also a time also when too much internet research may not be a good thing because it is feeding your anxiety when you don't have all the facts yet. Next, realize there is usually more time than you think to take action if indeed action is needed. Do not let anyone rush you into making a decision until you've fully investigated ALL your options. If you don't feel comfortable with your doctor and/or question her competency (I did, and fired my first obgyn) ask her for a referral to someone else until you find someone you trust. I think it's fairly safe to state it's not very likely that you will die from this. You may not even NEED a hysterectomy or radical surgery of any kind. A small cyst on the ovary can be dealt with by laparoscopy which is minimally invasive. Even full-on hysterectomies including removal of ovaries can be done by this surgical method leaving tiny scars and much less trauma to abdominal and surrounding muscles with a very shortened recovery period.

One step at a time. Many of the things we fear in our future never happen. There is good medicine out there. You are young and in otherwise good health; the odds are in your favor. I'll be pulling for you :-)

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:26:48 PM

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Research is one thing (and a good thing at that) , but making yourself crazy and deciding you're dying is another. She cannot ask the right questions or hear the answers if she is completely anxiety ridden.

My advice to the OP is to do the reading as if for an assignment (don't think about it as being about you), write down all your questions and BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU to all appointments. You can't hear everything, even less remember. And take notes to review later.

Second and third opinions are vital. Find someone who agrees with what you decide for your own treatment.

BTW, these suggestions are not academic- I saved my breast this way. I am cancer-free with some scars and a weird indent, but I still have both breasts intact.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:26:55 PM

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Caveat: I'm not a medical practitioner so please keep that in mind.

Firstly thickened uterine lining can actually be normal for some women. It is perceived as a warning sign because sometimes it can indicate cancer, (especially in women over 40) but it does not necessarily indicate cancer.

From what I know it would not be better if it was the other way around. The pap smear showed abnormal cells. Almost all abnormal changes comes from HPV (one of many strains, but three strains cause >90% of changes. (HPV is endemic, meaning that a huge proportion of sexually active women have HPV, so don't feel badly, it is so endemic that recently a vaccine Gardasil was created to impart immunity to 4 strains of virulent HPV, it is for girls/women aged 8-26, and has recently been approved for boys also.)

Initial changes are called pre-cancerous meaning that these are not cancer cells, but cells that have a greater likelihood of potentially mutating into cancer cells.

That your uterine biopsy was negative is a good sign. That she wants to do a cone biopsy indicates that there are cellular changes that may not be cancer, but show cells that have significantly increased chance of becoming cancerous. Abnormal cells are graded, some might be removed by freezing, other changes that have a higher risk of mutating to cancer cells indicate the need for a cone biopsy to see the extent of the abnormal cells as they may go deeper into surrounding tissue or farther along the cervical canal. The cone biopsy removes material for microscopic pathology and cone biopsy may remove all the suspect tissue. If the outside edge of the removed cone shows only normal tissue then no further tissue removal will be performed--at that time you are essentially "cured," though she will want you to come in for fairly frequent pap tests, just in case. If the edges of the cone shows abnormal tissue I believe that sometimes more tissue (a larger or deeper "cone") will be removed. This might get all abnormal tissue. If not, then further surgery would be warranted.

By the fact that the uterine biopsy only returned normal results this seems to me that if you did have cervical cancer it has not spread far along the cervix into the uterus.

The ovarian cyst can cause abnormal bleeding. I think that your cervix does not, as you say: "show otherwise." It simply may be that the cyst is leading to hormonal imbalance, resulting in thickening of the uterus and may well be totally unrelated to the finding of pre-cancerous cells in the cervix.

I can only imagine how devastating this must be for the both of you and hope that things can be resolved much easier that you are fearing. Reading is good, but be careful as often people read "selectively" and can jump to conclusions that are not correct.

Hopefully the cone biopsy will remove all the abnormal tissue. If it does, though not often suggested, I suggest that if you smoke that you quit. There is very strong evidence that HPV and smoking increase the risks exponentially. Quitting will be easy, simply explain to Martin that if you cheat then the discipline will be that you will not be spanked for a week.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:28:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

When you go to the doctor, you might want to consider a couple of things:
1. Take a friend who can be objective. This is the person who gets the information that your emotions will stop you from getting.
2. Talk to the financial people at the hospital. I guarantee they have someone who can help you with this. They want to be paid, after all.
3. See a friend / therapist / priest / counselor / AA sponsor - someone who can help you through the emotions that you are having

There is nothing wrong with doing research. In fact, knowledge is power. However, make sure you are researching the right thing. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. You will 99% of the time be happily surprised.

Best wishes to you,
sunshine

Very important advice. You MUST bring someone with you; if I had not taken my calm brother with me (my mother was too upset) I would not have heard everything the doctors said.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:30:18 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Ok, yeah, research is good, but sometimes somethings, they just scare you un necessarily, so research things, but keep an open mind, don't form judgments based on what the research says, with out a diagnosis from the dr. Is what I should of said.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

To those of you who have never experienced this situation FIRST HAND, I would caution you not to advise the OP to not do research.

Research and second and third opinions are life savers.

Information is knowledge and knowledge gives you choices. and options. To advice against that is simply ludicrous.

Take it from me.

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:34:18 PM

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As I said, I have gone through this. Doing research also helps you ask the right questions of doctors, who are notorious for not being as forthcoming with info.

It also makes one a better patient because you are taking a proactive role in your care.

I was incredibly aggressive with the doctors and came in armed with research and they respected me for it and created a better dialogue.

I also found online support groups where women were experiencing the same things.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:43:20 PM

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I agree with what many of the other have stated -- Do not panic! Take things in stride one step at a time. It sounds to me like nothing is conclusive.

I had a dark rash under my arm about two months ago. So I went to a specialist, that informed me that he suspected I had lupus, and untreatable disease where your immune system attacks its on tissue and organs. I took the blood test -- my results came back inconclusive -- I read many scary things online. After another week of waiting the doctor had me come back and take another test, which I came back negative. He called me into his office, and told me that he was sorry for the mistake and that in fact I had eczema. A week on a strong hydrocortisone cream cleared everything up. So try not to panic doctors can be wrong.

My advice would be first not to give up and ever say things like you are dying. Even if it's worse case my mother, my aunt, and my grandmother have all recovered from different types of cancers.

I know doctors visit can be expensive -- but peace of mind is important.

Try to keep your head up, eat right, exercise and even if you are scared try to draw strength from your Master.

If you need to talk-- message me anytime.

horizonz

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:44:50 PM

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My gynecologist assumed the best case scenario until she got the test results. So did I. I guess I'm afraid to think positive again only to be set up for another devistating blow. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for the hysterectomy. I'm in a catch 22 situation. If pre-cancer doesn't qualify me and by some miracle it's negative, I can't afford the surgery. I also can't afford to be put under for cone biopsies every 4 months until the result is positive. If it is cancer according to everything I've read it's late stage. Cervical cancer doesn't cause abnormal bleeding until late stage (terminal). If the uterine biopsy had been abnormal instead of the cervical, I wouldn't be as freaked out as I am about dying. Uterine cancer can cause bleeding without being late stage. Sir and I had planned to move to Canada after he finishes college to get away from this country's fucked up health care system. If I die, my last wish will be for him to move there by himself. That way if he ever develops a serious illness his treatment or lack of won't be based on his ability to pay.

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Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 5:52:54 PM

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defiantbadgirl,

Abnormal cells on one's cervix are quite common. I will not tell you not to worry. I worried. I have had abnormal cell findings on probably 30% of my pap smears. I have had one colposcopy where they look at your cervix with a magnifying device. It was found not to be cancer, nor HPV.

I too, have had bleeding. I put off going, and put it off. When I had "reproductive surgery" they did discover I had a thickened lining "very thick" (which accounted for the years of abnormal bleeding).
I was told I also had a fibroid and a polyp. NONE of which was cancerous.

I will not tell you not to worry, but I will suggest that you get a second opinion.
I will tell you that assuming that you are dying would be of no use to you.
Worry is natural.
You are going beyond worry. That is NOT going to help you.

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RE: Confused and afraid of dying - 8/27/2010 6:11:09 PM

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To the OP:
No, it's the other way around: abnormal uterine cells would be a very advanced cancer at your age, so it's the best news that the rest of the uterus is fine.
Abnormal cells on a pap smear are very common, and don't necessarily even mean one of the several levels of pre-cancer, especially if you don't smoke and have been getting routine pap smears and they're all normal, and your partners haven't been high-risk.
Abnormal pap cells can be caused by inflammation and infection. The HPV virus one-third of men carry causes the pre-cancer, which if untreated cause cancer; that's the vaccine girls and women are getting.
I agree, stop googling immediately and call a health hotline from a state hospital or women's clinic, and get some facts so you can get some sleep, then make another appt with your doctor to talk again with a short list of your most important questions, so she can debunk at least some of the myths. You'll have plenty of time to google once a full diagnosis has been made; just remember, anybody can made shit up on the internet: get info from doctors, not 'somebody's aunt who saw a naturopath and was cured with herbal teas'.
Good luck, and try not to waste energy by worrying about bits of mis-information and other diagnoses that are NOTHING to do with yours.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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