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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 11:35:29 AM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
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OP I am single because I refuse to settle or compromise on certain things. I am single b/c I dont need a man to define myself as a woman, a submissive. Frankly, IMO it speaks volumes of both parties if they only enter into a relationship after one of the people lowers their personal standards. Are they not telling their partner that not only did they not meet their standards but they simple settled? What person (dom or otherwise) would want to be with a woman who simply "settled" for them? What man would want a woman who did not hold herself to high standards, after all if she doesn't have standards in her men would she have standards in anything she did?

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 12:04:47 PM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
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This, all of it!


quote:

ORIGINAL: Abstracts

Well, now that you have been put in your place (and I say that in a light hearted, joking way) we can have a constructive conversation.

Perhaps some submissives are single, not because of their limits, but because they are prone to letting their emotions get ahead of them and stirring up confrontation. Sound familiar? Just as dominants and submissives have their places in this lifestyle, so do limits. Having limits does not make someone a bad sub. They don't necessarily make them a good sub, but they are a step in that direction in my opinion. If you plan on speaking in generalities, you have to look at the whole picture. People, not just people of this lifestyle but vanillas and others as well, are complicated. There could be any number of factors as to why someone is still single and those factors will differ from person to person. Sure, a lot of subs that are single happen to have limits but a lot of subs who are taken have limits as well. Do you know why? Because a lot of subs have limits in GENERAL, understand? You have them too. If you didn't you wouldn't HAVE anything for you to expand upon, you would simply be utterly willing to do whatever was asked of you, regardless of whether it harms you or not. Contradicting yourself is bad. Stop it.

And along the lines of what Lockit was saying, you are a part of a community. I have not been here that long, not even as long as you, but I have noticed that people who try to order others around aren't generally tolerated and that's regardless of whether they are dominant or submissive. The deciding factor here, on whether or not someones request and advice is heeded, is respect. Respect must be earned and once it is earned it must be maintained at all times. And this is just the tip of the ice burg of my opinion.

So in short, Lady, THINK before you speak.


_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?




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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 12:13:59 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

@OP: Have you considered that *maybe* someone's Master died and it's taking a while to recover? Mourning and grief are not instantaneous to work through.

THIS.....is why I was single for awhile before meeting my Daddy Who owns me now.

~sweetsub~

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 12:27:03 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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LOL oh yeah like Femaso's is the only dom on these boards who doesn't give a rip what his woman posts! I don't need to mention a name beginning with.... oh, a letter in the last quarter of the alphabet, do I, to remind you of a festive female poster of the sparkling horsehockey?



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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 1:21:17 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave

I'm curious....I have read many subby/slave women profiles on here and they have been single for a loooong while....in YOUR opinion....why do you think that is?

As a sub/slave myself, I have my own persnal opinion...that is that they have too many restrictions....in my opinion they should be and act sub/slave....which means that they should expect their limits to be expanded instead of being a definate.

When I was single and made up my mind that I definately 'needed' and 'wanted' a Master....I did NOT have a list of HARD limits.....i always believed that limits with a compassionate, caring and loving Master can always be expanded...its all a part of the leanring curve to be a sub/slave.

I am on the side of the Dominant men...not the subby women who if they were GENUINELY looking for a Dominant man...they would do ALMOST ANYTHING for them.
(i wont bother replying to sub women....i am not interested in your opinions)




I am not offering my opinion in defiance, but because I believe I have something of value to add.

The relationship I have with my Master is defined by the 2 of us.
It is not defined by how you (or anyone else) thinks a submissive woman should act, if my actions are pleasing to Him that is all that is important.
If He accepted me with whatever faults and foibles I may have then that is all that matters.

You can argue the validity of limits vs no limits and the semantics of sub vs slave but in the end it is about the relationships of people.

You say that you are on the side of Dominant men and clearly that is not in much doubt.
By the way you phrase it "subby women" and have said you won't acknowlege our presence on the thread, it appears as though you don't think too much of women.
That is sad, you could learn from some of us.

You did say one thing that did stand out that I would like to address:

"...not the subby women who if they were GENUINELY looking for a Dominant man...they would do ALMOST ANYTHING for them."

I wasn't really looking anyone and I certainly wasn't looking for just a dominant man... truth be told, He found me.
And no, in the beginning, there were lots of things I would not have done for him.

He had to prove himself worthy of serving, just as I had to prove myself worthy of being owned.
So my devotion isn't to a dominant man but to one specific dominant man, who was more than worth waiting for.

Why do you think everyone should be paired off immediately and that they must be doing something wrong if they aren't?

Those subby women just aren't subby enough and so it is all their fault?
Are they supposed to drop to their knees in gratitude and cam naked with dildos and such?

As I said before, the only person I had/have to please is Him.

This is no instant collar: just add "sub".
This is a relationship.
This is real life with struggles and successes.
I am neither the best slave in the world, nor the worst, but each day I strive to improve as a person, and as His.

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(in reply to femasoslave)
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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 1:22:34 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
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Okay, i'm not a Master.

i'm single because... i want to be. i mean, if i meet Someone fantastic, that's great, but i'm not planning my life around it. i don't feel like i NEED to have a boyfriend to be legitamit, or anything. i don't feel bad about being single. i like my privacy. It feels good doing what i want, when i want. Being in a relationship can feel good, too, but i'm not holding my breath. i guess, if it happens, it happens, and until then, i'm happy being solo.

pam

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 3:25:25 PM   
gungadin09


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Joined: 3/19/2010
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And, also, because i can't spell.

pam

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 4:09:17 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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My first impression of you was that you were actually a dominant man trying to propogandize the idea that submissive women should settle for whatever comes by--for his own personal benefit, of course. Now I'm not so sure.

quote:

I am on the side of the Dominant men...not the subby women who if they were GENUINELY looking for a Dominant man...they would do ALMOST ANYTHING for them.


It is precisely because I would do ALMOST ANYTHING for a dominant man that I am extremely selective.

And, FWIW, very few dominants write me. I'm content with that, just pointing out that it's a myth that all submissive women get inundated with tons of mail.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to femasoslave)
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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 4:39:22 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
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Hmm... I identify as dominant rather than a master, but to hell with it - I'm going to respond in any case ;-)

I'm glad so many non-Masterly people have responded, because they've confirmed my suspicion that a goodly number of these "single lonely subs" are really quite happy being single and aren't in the least bit lonely or sad.



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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 9:39:47 PM   
Mistletoe


Posts: 288
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"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."

These are very wise words to live by. OP take note and commit them to memory.


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A closed profile = tired of stupid cmail's.

Member, of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's
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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/8/2010 6:34:24 AM   
LadyNTrainer


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Out of curiosity, when you say "Masters only", do you actually mean "heterosexual males only"?  If so, you may want to be clearer in your specification.  These things are not synonymous by any means.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 9/8/2010 6:36:58 AM >


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Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/8/2010 7:23:09 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

I have what I call (trademark pending) a 'cavernous attraction' problem. No, I'm not going to explain it, but it makes perfect sense to me.

Jeff


It's late, I am over-tired so please may I use that in my defence but Jeff I read your post and had images of a huge vagina ready to swallow you whole

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I'm glad so many non-Masterly people have responded, because they've confirmed my suspicion that a goodly number of these "single lonely subs" are really quite happy being single and aren't in the least bit lonely or sad.



Oh buggar, I bet that was the one page of the subbie handbook that I skipped....it was late, I was sleepy...honest.  Note to self - if single in the future remember to stop living and enjoying life

OP - sorry however I am another submissive though leaning towards a slave type who is replying.  I am not single at the moment but until recently had been for a long time and yes, through choice.

Yes it is true that there are a lot of men on this website, same as there are a lot of men at the local fet events I go to and though I am a fairly ordinary woman I have had a lot of offers from them.  However in order to submit to someone I have to feel engaged by them not only physically but intellectually and emotionally and I have to feel that we share similar ethical views.  For me D/s or M/s is about so much more than kinky sex.  If it was only about the sex or sensations then basically anyone with a penis or a hand could have me but it doesn't work like that for many of us. 

When single I would go on dates with people, go to events, I continued working and advancing in my career, paying my bills, spending time with my family and friends, writing letters to the friends I have around the world and pretty much living a very happy life surrounded by people who care for me.

And guess what?  When I met the person I am now in a relationship with one of the things he said that he was attracted to about me was that he knew that I am not someone who was desperate to jump into a relationship simply because I was single and that he knew that my life would not fall apart without a significant other in it.

You are just a smidge older than me and an Aussie to boot.... I dare you, try the whole being single thing for a sustained period of time some day.  They aren't all  bitter, lonely, desperate women who hate men or have huge laundry lists of needs ....some of us are fairly nice people who just take a bit longer than others to find someone they connect with.....and that's ok.




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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
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http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/8/2010 4:18:14 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave

LOL....as I said in my opening.....I am NOT interested in other sub/slave answers!!
I have posted this question in "Ask A Master" for a reason!!!!!


guess what? you're on an open forum and don't get to pick and choose your audience or responses, so get over yourself already

i'm single because i choose to be; i'd rather get beat and fucked and send them on their way then to answer to someone all the time; besides, why submit when i can bottom and enjoy a ton more experiences that are all about me then i ever got in my lifetime of d/s relationships

< Message edited by daddysliloneds -- 9/8/2010 4:22:39 PM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/9/2010 11:16:38 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave

I'm curious....I have read many subby/slave women profiles on here and they have been single for a loooong while....in YOUR opinion....why do you think that is?

As a sub/slave myself, I have my own persnal opinion...that is that they have too many restrictions....in my opinion they should be and act sub/slave....which means that they should expect their limits to be expanded instead of being a definate.

When I was single and made up my mind that I definately 'needed' and 'wanted' a Master....I did NOT have a list of HARD limits.....i always believed that limits with a compassionate, caring and loving Master can always be expanded...its all a part of the leanring curve to be a sub/slave.

Maybe I was naive.....BUT maybe I wasnt....I have now the most wonderful, loving, adoring, romantic, passionate Master one could EVER wish for and truth be told......it didnt take long for me to find him!....His profile said it in spades to me.......since then....I have read many, many Dominant profiles.....and so many men are genuine here!.....it makes me wonder if the subby women really have no idea what they want....I am on the side of the Dominant men...not the subby women who if they were GENUINELY looking for a Dominant man...they would do ALMOST ANYTHING for them.
(i wont bother replying to sub women....i am not interested in your opinions)





Greetings,

That's a great question. After all, there are many more self described dom males on CM than sub females so you'd think each of you female subs would have ten decent Doms to choose from. But you don't and I do know there is not one single answer why that is. There are exactly three.

1) Many men are too unprepared to follow through for whatever reason (married, fools, losers, low self esteem, not Doms).
2) Many men are just playing and have no real interest in not being single. They hit and run to another sub.
3) Subs here can have issues themselves. One beautiful and intelligent sub I engaged with I discovered had serious issues mostly dealing with substance abuse.

So the number of willing, educated, skilled, loving Doms is lower than a sub would like. So, get out there offline and into the local alternate lifestyle social club dressed in your best slut uniform, put on a sexy smile, hold your pretty hands out to be bound, have more fun and get noticed by those you really want to meet and keep trying.

Be well,

Arturas and kajira star

< Message edited by Arturas -- 9/9/2010 11:39:27 AM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/9/2010 11:23:45 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
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This is a great question and my two cents is this,all women want the little cottage white picket fence a dog and 2,3 children and not all Masters are in position to offer this as many like myself are in are a rlationship with a life mate..maybe they are just too picky and I can;t blame them for being so...but life is made up of comprimises maybe you can;t get 100% of what you seek but 90% is better then being alone just my two cents..Bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/9/2010 11:37:59 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Out of curiosity, when you say "Masters only", do you actually mean "heterosexual males only"?  If so, you may want to be clearer in your specification.  These things are not synonymous by any means.


Greetings,

The mistress’s point is unclear to me.

Be well,
master Arturas

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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/9/2010 11:40:24 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave
I'm curious....I have read many subby/slave women profiles on here and they have been single for a loooong while....in YOUR opinion....why do you think that is?

I think that is true because finding an appropriate partner is generally not easy for anyone... even me and I do pretty well at it. AND, I think that once you've found that perfect partner, then actually building a long-term sustainable relationship is where it really gets tough. In short, I think it ain't easy and I'm ill-inclined to generalize about the myriad reasons why someone would not be partnered.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/9/2010 11:48:02 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Out of curiosity, when you say "Masters only", do you actually mean "heterosexual males only"?  If so, you may want to be clearer in your specification.  These things are not synonymous by any means.


Greetings,

The mistress’s point is unclear to me.

Be well,
master Arturas


I believe she is saying that you don't have to be a male to consider yourself a master and wants to know if the OP is looking for "male only" masters or if she might consider a female opinion.


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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/9/2010 11:48:06 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
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Funny, underage UMs in the home and/ or having any of my own are hard limits for me. I must not be a woman! 

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Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/9/2010 12:01:53 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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Plus for those of us who have them, we must be exceedingly stringent in our requirements in order to keep them safe. Lots of guys out there who message single females with underage female children on these sites and in the real world, and always for immoral purposes.

A good parent won't allow just anyone to enslave her, not if she wants them to grow up to regard her with affection instead of despising her for allowing strange men to abuse them.


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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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