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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:22:34 PM

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I was confused by your subject line of "Question for MASTERS only! As a lot of the men on here are Dominant but not all are Masters. So is the question only for Masters, those who think they are Masters and can just Dominant men answer too?

I know you don't want submissive or slave women to answer in your thread but perhaps you should just ask them why they are single as that would be the easiest way to get an answer I think..just my humble opinion.

Edited to add: Also, many on here have been in relationships but start new profiles or change the one they have not show any info about their other relationship which might have just ended or ended recently...So I would think you would have no way of knowing how long some have been single.

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 9/6/2010 8:04:55 PM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:23:16 PM

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spirited.......I am completely on the same wavelength as you.......I agree with you wholeheartedly.

How the hell you are still single, I have no idea.....good luck..and best wishes!

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:27:52 PM

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I've said this before on other threads. There are a number of folks on the site of all genders and orientations that it literally surprises Me that someone hasn't snagged them up. Of course, there is the other side of that and I completely understand why some people are single and most likely (in some cases) will remain single.

In the case of the former, I try to remind Myself that there are a number of factors that go along with that. Location is a big one and I understand the issues and complications that prevent someone from wanting to become involved in a long distance relationship. (I'm well aware that it sucks and not a preference for a lot of people.) In some cases, there are things other than kink compatibility that come into play. The list goes on and on for things like age, family situation, profession, etc, etc, etc. Then, on top of all of that, you have to factor in that we all have various levels of how much control a person is willing to give or take. For example, there are some wonderful submissives here who would be terrible matches for someone like Me because I'm stricter than most, expect a lot of obedience, and I'm high protocol. That's not everyone's cup of tea and it really shouldn't be. Each person should be aiming for the compatibility that they wish for the most.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:31:34 PM

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I know you don't want my opinion but you are going to get it anyway. You see, people can post on any forum they wish to post on around here.

This is what I see your post saying.

Neener neener neener. I am a no limits sub/slave. I act like I feel a sub/slave should act. I have the bestest Master of anyone here. Neener neener neener. Now you stupid subs/slaves who have silly hard limits like dismemberment or rainbow showers, or whatever....well, you are ALL losers. You won't find a Master if you have limits, but then you probably aren't sub/slaves since you do have them. I am the best sub/slave of all and to prove it. I got a Master right away while you losers sit around with your silly limits. Neener neener neener.

Guess what, fema? I have an owner and my list of hard limits grows longer every year. It's because I discover the stupid idiotic things that one human will think of to do to another. My hard limits list does not mean I expect him to do any of those stupid idiot things to me, it just means I will never, for any reason whatsoever, do anything that idiotic in my whole life. Take that any way you want to take it. I am a submissive with lots of hard limits, and I also found a wonderful, loving, adoring, romantic, passionate owner very quickly too, and I wasn't even looking for one. So it seems that your theory of why certain submissives don't find dominants right away like perfect sub/slave you is just plain false.

Now, perhaps you did not mean to appear so holier than thou in your post. Perhaps you are just genuinely curious as to why some submissives seem to take a long time choosing a Dominant. In that case you would best be served by asking in the Ask A Submissive forum. Some submissives will settle for any old Dominant just to get a collar. That is why the term "velcro collar" was coined. Many will not. Many know from past relationships what they do not want. They are perfectly happy to wait until the perfect person comes into their lives. They don't NEED a Master to live happy lives. It is not up to you or me to say they have too many restrictions. You do not know them. You do not know what they need or want. Since you don't know the facts, why even bother to make such a sweeping generality about those submissives without knowing their personal circumstances?

(in reply to femasoslave)

RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:35:16 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Because Im picky and i wont settle for a relationship I know wont be good for me....I refuse to enter a relationship that will be damaging to my health and my number one rule is I will put my safety before you in every case no matter what.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:40:18 PM

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peppermint..........i read and re-read your answer......yes..... I DO appear holier than thou in my post.

For that i honestly and humbly apologise for,

I wish I could remove my forum post now......I was in a strange mood and honestly i WAS in a feeling of "holier than thou"
I am sorry if i have hurt anyones feelings.

I AM WRONG

(in reply to peppermint)

RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:41:02 PM

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This one wonders where are all the opinions of the "Masters" the OP asked about.

Great post peppermint.

< Message edited by Mistletoe -- 9/6/2010 7:42:25 PM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:44:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave

I AM WRONG

...well that was quick.

Kudos for backing down, though

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 7:49:09 PM

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Let me see if I get this right. fem, you came to stir the pot because you were feeling holier than others and you have a wonderful dominant.

Okay... here's the deal, accept it or not, people are going to have an opinion, not of just you, but of your wonderful dominant... all because of your little thread. In many people's eyes, you represent your dominant and you have failed him this day. You shouldn't only be saying you are sorry, but should feel great shame in how you have presented yourself to a large group of your peers.

How's that sound baby? Okay, maybe I went a little harsh... be glad you are not mine. I dismissed the last one in part for his postings that made him the fool, that I had to come sort out.

You know, some of us would see this as a bigger sign of what's in there deep and you would find yourself single again... and with the reputation you just got... be prepared to stay that way. Sometimes, admitting and sorry's come far too late.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 8:08:01 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
people are going to have an opinion, not of just you, but of your wonderful dominant... all because of your little thread. In many people's eyes, you represent your dominant and you have failed him this day. You shouldn't only be saying you are sorry, but should feel great shame in how you have presented yourself to a large group of your peers.

Well said.

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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 8:23:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There are a number of folks on the site of all genders and orientations that it literally surprises Me that someone hasn't snagged them up.

Maybe you should play matchmaker. <nods>

Jeff

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 8:25:57 PM

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Well, now that you have been put in your place (and I say that in a light hearted, joking way) we can have a constructive conversation.

Perhaps some submissives are single, not because of their limits, but because they are prone to letting their emotions get ahead of them and stirring up confrontation. Sound familiar? Just as dominants and submissives have their places in this lifestyle, so do limits. Having limits does not make someone a bad sub. They don't necessarily make them a good sub, but they are a step in that direction in my opinion. If you plan on speaking in generalities, you have to look at the whole picture. People, not just people of this lifestyle but vanillas and others as well, are complicated. There could be any number of factors as to why someone is still single and those factors will differ from person to person. Sure, a lot of subs that are single happen to have limits but a lot of subs who are taken have limits as well. Do you know why? Because a lot of subs have limits in GENERAL, understand? You have them too. If you didn't you wouldn't HAVE anything for you to expand upon, you would simply be utterly willing to do whatever was asked of you, regardless of whether it harms you or not. Contradicting yourself is bad. Stop it.

And along the lines of what Lockit was saying, you are a part of a community. I have not been here that long, not even as long as you, but I have noticed that people who try to order others around aren't generally tolerated and that's regardless of whether they are dominant or submissive. The deciding factor here, on whether or not someones request and advice is heeded, is respect. Respect must be earned and once it is earned it must be maintained at all times. And this is just the tip of the ice burg of my opinion.

So in short, Lady, THINK before you speak.

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:05:02 PM

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Oh wait a minute. This is a pattern for the op. Well at least in my opinion. Darlin fem, learn... when you come in bashing other people, some of those people know how to do research into who you are and will have no problem reminding people who you are. You shout out to the world how awful others are... expect some backlash. You are now welcome to it, provided by one dominant bitch and a little birdy. You're welcome.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3149702/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3149702

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:10:23 PM

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fem,

Trusting someone with your life isnt the only sign of a healthy relationship. I trusted my ex with my life, my money, and even my family... i just couldnt trust him with my heart.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:15:36 PM

Zevar

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quote:

I'm curious....I have read many subby/slave women profiles on here and they have been single for a loooong while....in YOUR opinion....why do you think that is?

Greetings femasoslave:

To begin, understand that simply because I am a Master does not make my opinion(s) more valid that others who are not. I do recognize that you did specifically ask for the opinion(s) from those who identify as Master. I also realize that ANYONE can respond to any given thread in any given forum here on CM.

With that being said & in reference to your above quoted question I will say the following:

Net every woman is single for reasons that one might know. All anyone can do, Master or not, is speculate why certain women who are submissive or slave remain single. Not everyone will connect with one another simply due to how another identifies. I for one do not find every submissive woman of interest nor do I find every woman who is slave of interest either. There are variances in character in all who identify as submissive or slave. It is a fact that each woman is an individual with an autonomous individual identity.

The fact that a woman is single cannot be defined by reasons which are speculated on the part of others. If a woman is single and has been single for a long time this has NO bearing on her character whatsoever. Relationships are formed between mutual bonds one to another. Not due to time lines or length of time. If there is nothing that serves the ability to form a bond with a submissive or slave then how can her singleness be changed without a combination of circumstances with a man that she can connect with on all levels?

I simply do not find the fact that a submissive or slave is single to indicate anything that could be considered substantive evidence toward determining the reason for her singleness. No woman who identifies as submissive and or slave should be marginalized and talked about as though something is flawed about her due to her singleness. Enough said!

Take care!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 9/6/2010 9:17:42 PM >

(in reply to femasoslave)

RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:29:02 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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Fast reply:

I am not male, but am replying as a slave owner:

Whether dom/sub/top/bottom/owner/slave or vanilla, a lot of people who are single for a long time retain that status because they're happy that way. These people don't want to ruin their good time, by committing to an ill-fitting partner. So they don't. And not everyone needs a committed relationship, to be happy.

As Freud said: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:30:45 PM

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Excellent post, Zevar.

To the OP: I really don't understand what you thought to accomplish by asking Masters or Doms why they think that single subs who have been that way for a long time are not partnered. They do not know all of us personally, and any answer given would be pure speculation on top of generalization. Your OP was obviously bait for them to unleash criticisms, complete with a specific direction that you wished to see the thread go. It speaks well of the Doms and Masters on this site that they did not allow themselves to be manipulated by your transparent attempt to set them against the single female subs here.

In the future, you might want to be more careful when stirring the shit. If it boils over, you are very likely to get splattered.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:35:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zevar

No woman who identifies as submissive and or slave should be marginalized and talked about as though something is flawed about her due to her singleness.

QFT

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:40:00 PM

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Remember something about this site, fema. They don't delete posts. There are posts that have been here since the site was started. The only way to separate yourself from what you post is to change your name and attitude.

Think before you post. Do not write anything that would make a fool out of yourself or your master. Reread your post BEFORE you post it. It is better to delete a post before it is sent than it is to have it follow you as an example of who and what you are.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 9/6/2010 9:53:46 PM >

(in reply to femasoslave)

RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:43:10 PM

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Strangely enough, due to status given me by my own master long ago, I am a Master, as well as a Domme (and for the explanation to that, it would require a lot of looking into the cultures of American Indian tribes, some Celtic traditions, and the truth of the story of Mulan, so I won't go into it further than that). I, also, have been a slave, and served as a submissive.

Many sub/slave profiles on here are utterly fake, both male and female; So are many Dom/Domme profiles. Therefore, they remain the same, for years on end.

Also, there is often a case of "too much, too soon" Dominants - the genuine ones - often forget to give slaves and submissives time to get to know them as people, and barge in with orders and demands that seem perfectly reasonable to them, and which would also seem perfectly reasonable to a slave or submissive that does know them. I know this to be true, because I do it myself, and I have certainly had it done to me.

Also, just because you are a submissive, does not mean you are a submissive who has no particular desires. Nor is it wrong for submissives, or even slaves, to look for the best fit they can find. In fact, thee more owned they will be when the contract is signed, the more it is imperative that they find someone who they can trust to lead them into a direct in which they wish to grow.

They are human, after all, and there are factors to be considered, such as family, finances, location, work, schooling, abilities, health ..

In other words, they stay single so long either because they are fake or because they are real. Just because you got lucky is no reason to prejudge the rest of your kind. Maybe you should, instead of siding with the Masters, seek to know the subs and slaves, and let them know if you meet anyone who seems like a good fit.

(in reply to femasoslave)

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