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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:44:51 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

It is better to delete a post before it is sent than it is to have it follow you as an example of who and what you are.

The link Lockit posted is a pretty good example of that.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:47:21 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Remember something about this site, fema. They don't delete posts. There are posts that have been here since the site was started. The only way to separate yourself from what you post is to change your name and attitude.

Think before you post. Do not write anything that would make a fool out of yourself or you master. Reread your post BEFORE you post it. It is better to delete a post before it is sent than it is to have it follow you as an example of who and what you are.

This.

If still in doubt, have your Master read it. Ultimately, all ou do affects him as well.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 9:54:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

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So, Jeff likes caves? Or just wants a whole lot?

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 10:17:21 PM

Aedh

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Ok, bashing the OP aside... I think the original, very badly phrased point behind the thread was about the economics of collarme:

That, going by supply vs demand, the disparately high availability (and activity) of male doms as opposed to fem subs should theoretically mean that there should be very few single/lonely subs. And, as I understand it, OP's opinion is that this isn't so because said subs set hard limits or are too picky. Am I getting this right OP?

I think there's a lot of factors in play here. Traditionally, even in situations with a 1:1 sex ratio, a large number of men will usually pursue a relatively smaller number of the more 'attractive', 'promiscuous' or 'easy' women. I say that in 'quotes', because I'm using existing semantics and because attractiveness and promiscuity can be very culture/context-relative. In a BDSM context, for example, having no hard limits can be compared to the 'easy' girl from high-school.
Also, guys tend to pursue more than one gal at a time, at least till something serious comes along.

So, while you would think that every girl would have a guy waiting for her, every single girl usually has to choose from a large number of single guys with their roses (or emails) at her feet, many of whom would be totally wrong for her and some who would probably reject her the minute she said yes to their offers.
The thing is, guys tend not to be picky when they first hit on women (they get picky after the sex happens) which forces the women to be picky, sometimes even arbitrarily so - because if they don't match up they're not gonna work anyway, and someone has to be selective.

Wow.. did I actually make any sense there?

---
btw, I'm not making judgments here, I'm just discussing social patterns I've observed. I could be wrong, social anthropology is not my field

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 10:20:53 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

This.

If still in doubt, have your Master read it. Ultimately, all ou do affects him as well.

I actually do this and did this before I sent out my post. It's great to get a second opinion when replying to a post that had such negative attitude. I also wanted to make certain that my post did not go too far towards negativity. Gary often has suggestions to make my posts better.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/6/2010 10:45:43 PM

WyldHrt

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quote:

I think the original, very badly phrased point behind the thread was about the economics of collarme:
That, going by supply vs demand, the disparately high availability (and activity) of male doms as opposed to fem subs should theoretically mean that there should be very few single/lonely subs.

I think the bolded word(s) above are part of the problem. People assume that a single sub is lonely or looking, simply because they have a profile here. Many of us take breaks (sometimes long ones) from actively looking for a partner for many reasons, yet leave our profile up because we are active on the forums, or because you never know when someone awesome that you weren't actively looking for might find you. Having a profile does not automatically mean that someone single is actively seeking a partner or partners.

General reply-
The other assumption that I often see is that having someone, anyone is better than being alone, particularly for a submissive. For many of us, this is simply not the case. For myself, I am perfectly happy to remain single until/unless I meet someone whose presence in my life makes me happier or better as a person, and I do the same for them. I don't 'need' a partner to 'complete me', as I am a whole person all by myself. I have plenty of lifestyle friends, some of whom are also casual play partners, so no issue on that front and no reason for me to settle for someone who is not compatible just to have someone.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 1:26:33 AM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave
the subby women who if they were GENUINELY looking for a Dominant man...they would do ALMOST ANYTHING for them.

I'm thinking this quote speaks of a desperate attitude. People, whether submissive or Dominant, are single for a wide variety of reasons. Some are picky and, believe it or not, prefer being single over being in an ill-fitting relationship. I have hard-limits and I'm in a very happy relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Okay... here's the deal, accept it or not, people are going to have an opinion, not of just you, but of your wonderful dominant... all because of your little thread. In many people's eyes, you represent your dominant and you have failed him this day. You shouldn't only be saying you are sorry, but should feel great shame in how you have presented yourself to a large group of your peers.

Exactly. I wonder what her Dominant thinks of this behavior, or if He even knows?

~sweetsub~

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 1:37:10 AM

lally2

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something strange happened.....

< Message edited by lally2 -- 9/7/2010 2:00:09 AM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 1:55:00 AM

lally2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Oh wait a minute. This is a pattern for the op. Well at least in my opinion. Darlin fem, learn... when you come in bashing other people, some of those people know how to do research into who you are and will have no problem reminding people who you are. You shout out to the world how awful others are... expect some backlash. You are now welcome to it, provided by one dominant bitch and a little birdy. You're welcome.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3149702/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3149702

when you change youre profile name *again* be sure to change youre photos too.

.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 9/7/2010 2:02:13 AM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 1:57:07 AM

lally2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I've said this before on other threads. There are a number of folks on the site of all genders and orientations that it literally surprises Me that someone hasn't snagged them up. Of course, there is the other side of that and I completely understand why some people are single and most likely (in some cases) will remain single.

In the case of the former, I try to remind Myself that there are a number of factors that go along with that. Location is a big one and I understand the issues and complications that prevent someone from wanting to become involved in a long distance relationship. (I'm well aware that it sucks and not a preference for a lot of people.) In some cases, there are things other than kink compatibility that come into play. The list goes on and on for things like age, family situation, profession, etc, etc, etc. Then, on top of all of that, you have to factor in that we all have various levels of how much control a person is willing to give or take. For example, there are some wonderful submissives here who would be terrible matches for someone like Me because I'm stricter than most, expect a lot of obedience, and I'm high protocol. That's not everyone's cup of tea and it really shouldn't be. Each person should be aiming for the compatibility that they wish for the most.

since subs arent welcome to post here - ill just quote Lady P.

unsolicited opionion coming up though:: sometimes things just dont pan, emotiions take a time to reconfigure, we're not made of teflon and we're not that desparate.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 9/7/2010 1:58:43 AM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 2:38:09 AM

Wolf2Bear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave

I'm curious....I have read many subby/slave women profiles on here and they have been single for a loooong while....in YOUR opinion....why do you think that is?
Maybe you should politely ask the single women here who identify as submissive why they haven't found someone yet?

As a sub/slave myself, I have my own personal opinion...that is that they have too many restrictions....in my opinion they should be and act sub/slave....which means that they should expect their limits to be expanded instead of being a definite.
Great and so does everyone who post on these forums also have their own personal opinions on how they feel a submissive should be.

When I was single and made up my mind that I definitely 'needed' and 'wanted' a Master....I did NOT have a list of HARD limits.....i always believed that limits with a compassionate, caring and loving Master can always be expanded...its all a part of the learning curve to be a sub/slave.
Hate to break it to you but learning happens in countless ways in life.

Maybe I was naive.....BUT maybe I wasn't....I have now the most wonderful, loving, adoring, romantic, passionate Master one could EVER wish for and truth be told......it didn't take long for me to find him!....His profile said it in spades to me.......since then....I have read many, many Dominant profiles.....and so many men are genuine here!.....it makes me wonder if the subby women really have no idea what they want....I am on the side of the Dominant men...not the subby women who if they were GENUINELY looking for a Dominant man...they would do ALMOST ANYTHING for them.
(i wont bother replying to sub women....i am not interested in your opinions)

Hate to break the news but unless you know for a fact that every single submissive women here are looking, then your last statement, underlined, is pure speculation. Thing is any person with a lick of sense will have limitations and will have boundaries since they still are responsible for their personal welfare. Yes in time, these limits may ease up or fade away completely, yet that is solely dependant upon the people involved and how they build their relationship. They build it for them according to how they determine what is right for them and not according to someone else's concepts.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 4:59:23 AM

DesFIP

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If we go by the often asserted point that to be a master means you must presently have a slave, the op is asking only men who are not looking why they aren't looking at the women who are looking. Which makes no sense.

I was celibate for five years before I met The Man. To the op obviously that meant I have a list of hard limits that are a mile long, and that I should have abandoned all my criteria and spread my legs for the first male that told me to, or female for that matter.

I didn't. I prefer to be alone than lonely in the company of the wrong man. So I waited until I met the right one. Which according to the op, makes me something unworthy. Luckily the op has shown herself all too often to be someone whose thoughts and opinions are wrong.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 6:29:22 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

I think the original, very badly phrased point behind the thread was about the economics of collarme:
That, going by supply vs demand, the disparately high availability (and activity) of male doms as opposed to fem subs should theoretically mean that there should be very few single/lonely subs.

I think the bolded word(s) above are part of the problem. People assume that a single sub is lonely or looking, simply because they have a profile here.

I think the bolded part is very telling, about the OP. It would appear she can not be single without also being lonely. She appears to be expressing opinions about herself in the OP, and projecting that onto others.

In other words, she must always be with a man, or she would be lonely and think something is wrong with her.

Sad.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 7:01:57 AM

sexyred1

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Most of the intelligent replies have echoed things that I would have posted.

A pet peeve of mine is that one of most often asked questions posed to me is How Can You Be Single???

It is simply the most fucking annoying thing that people can ask. While some see it as a compliment, it is often a passive-aggressive thing to say and when men ask it, usually it is used as an opening line. If you don't reply favorably, and say, gee I don't know why I am single, but thank god YOU have arrived, then it is usually followed by You are a bitch/psycho/fake/not real/not a twue sub, etc.

What many, including the OP, fail to realize is that people are not single their entire lives. In fact, many of us have been married and in long term relationships. They did not work out for varying reasons.

So that makes the question even more ridiculous.

Anyone can be with anyone; it is quite easy to hook up with men; if that is all you want in life.

There is also a misperception that as one gets older, one must settle since the dating pool prospects get smaller. While the pool gets smaller, it does not mean you need to dive right in.

With age comes wisdom (well for some) and with that comes the ability to see what went wrong in relationships, what changes one needed to made, etc. When you have done all that work, you are less than willing to apply that to an unworthy partner.

And some of us currently single ladies, OP, consider ourselves diamonds. And you do not place a diamond in a setting made of tin, you place it in a setting made of platinum.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 7:07:04 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

And some of us currently single ladies, OP, consider ourselves diamonds. And you do not place a diamond in a setting made of tin, you place it in a setting made of platinum.

This. The gist of the OP was basically 'all you single women need to lower your standards, because that's what I did and it got me a man'. Which seems to miss the point.

(Would it be egotistical of me to sign this off as Platinum!VC?

)

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 7:08:18 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave

As a sub/slave myself, I have my own persnal opinion...that is that they have too many restrictions....in my opinion they should be and act sub/slave....which means that they should expect their limits to be expanded instead of being a definate.

So, basically we should just settle? Take whatever comes along instead of trying to choose a partner who will make us happy? Being submissive isn't the entirety of my life and the other parts are actually a whole lot more important.

Second, since you have no idea what the list of my hard limits are, don't you think you're being presumptuous about expecting them to be expanded?

Lastly, Master and I are of the same view on limits. Everyone has them and they're there for a reason. Just because Master and I share the same limits and I no longer have to enforce them, doesn't mean that they don't exist. And we've managed to be together for 11 years, so I guess it's working for us.

Bottom line is people who try to prove they are "sublier than thou" end up proving nothing. The proof is in having a happy relationship and it really doesn't matter how you get there.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 7:20:56 AM

poise

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Gettin' my groove on...Shout out to the single submissives!

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 7:52:02 AM

sublizzie

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@OP: Have you considered that *maybe* someone's Master died and it's taking a while to recover? Mourning and grief are not instantaneous to work through.

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 8:33:44 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

I'm curious....I have read many subby/slave women profiles on here and they have been single for a loooong while....in YOUR opinion....why do you think that is?

oooooo...i know, i know!!!!!!!!

Many on here are single by choice because they refuse to settle for the first bozo that slaps a label on their ass and call themselves a Master/Dom/sub/slave.

Many submissives have standards much higher than you do. Whereas you settled for a Master that qualifies as one of the afore mentioned bozos (who would permit the type of behavior from his submissive that you display in this thread and your prior posts), most would consider a "Master" such as yours, who settled for a bozo such as yourself, to be far beneath them and would prefer to be alone than to associate with such bullshit.

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 9/7/2010 8:42:28 AM >

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RE: Question for MASTERS only! - 9/7/2010 10:41:53 AM

DesFIP

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Come on Holly, don't hold back, tell us how you really feel!

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