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Nature of dominance. - 4/22/2006 5:59:08 PM   
MstrTiger


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Inspired by a recent post I was brought to thinking about the nature of dominance and how it works in practice I have decided that I don’t think it is necessarily a question of there being negative and positive aspects to a persons dominant stance I think it is more an issue of where that dominance is directed and to what extremes. I also think it depends on what you personally class as being dominant and what you regard as coming other personality traits since for a lot of people there is a sort of grey zone in defining certain aspects of someone’s personality for example if a sub was sat in a restaurant and the Dom they were with banged his fist on the table and demanded the bill some subs would see that as the Dom being dominant though others would see it as uncalled for aggression. I just wanted to know how other people define and categorize it.
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RE: Nature of dominance. - 4/22/2006 6:15:19 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I recognize when one is consistent in word, thought and deed, is controlled of self and is an authoritarian not by command but by the ability to compel loyalty regardless of what setting they may be in. It's not that they demand service, but they expect it and seem to get it ... and not that they demand compliance, but others tend to naturally comply to their will. Such is my idea of the nature of dominance. The grouse banging on the table would not be my idea of a dominant, but rather a blowhard. A dominant wouldn't need to bang on the table.. the waiter would just naturally come on over to serve. ;) Celeste

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 4/22/2006 6:19:23 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		There is a differance in Dominance and Power and Their application, enjoyment, testing or abuse. Thats how Id define and differ in what Your speaking of Tiger. Im naturally Dominant, a Alpha. I wield natural Powers that Others can only aspire to have by a show of Their Dominance and because of this might in a show of strenth with in a group at a table to test * Power* slam the table with Their fist. I of course would ignore it. That would make My slaves ignore it as well however those around who hear the thud who are not a part of the lifestyle group at the table would see it as a sign of aggresssion or attention. Id see it as a failed tempt at Over Powering My Dominance directed to Me because it did not attain position nor attention by those who would matter. JMO

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 4/22/2006 7:42:50 PM   
unquenchable


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I recognize when one is consistent in word, thought and deed, is controlled of self and is an authoritarian not by command but by the ability to compel loyalty regardless of what setting they may be in. It's not that they demand service, but they expect it and seem to get it ... and not that they demand compliance, but others tend to naturally comply to their will. Such is my idea of the nature of dominance. The grouse banging on the table would not be my idea of a dominant, but rather a blowhard. A dominant wouldn't need to bang on the table.. the waiter would just naturally come on over to serve. ;) Celeste


Wow, that says it all!!

thanks Celeste

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 4/22/2006 7:58:38 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		 Dominance is a state of mind. It is being able to take responsibility not only for yourself but also for any submissive / slave in your care. Consistant and unbending. To be a "true" dominant you must respect the power given to you by a submissive/slave and that you are responsible for their safety and well being. A dominate demands obedience from His, yet understands being dominate is not about always getting what he wants. Being a "true" dominate is not assuming power over all simply because of the title you claim. Expecting someone to fall to their knees and suck your cock the first time you meet simply because you tell them to does NOT make you a dominate it makes you a jack ass. A dominant should have self-control before trying to have control over another.


Submission and dominance are like night and day. One should compliment the other. Though you can live without one or the other to truly prosper and be fulfilled you need a balance of both.

Nika{Phoenix}

< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 4/22/2006 8:00:27 PM >

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 3/31/2007 2:06:53 PM   
Hime


Posts: 149
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From: Vegas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I recognize when one is consistent in word, thought and deed, is controlled of self and is an authoritarian not by command but by the ability to compel loyalty regardless of what setting they may be in. It's not that they demand service, but they expect it and seem to get it ... and not that they demand compliance, but others tend to naturally comply to their will. Such is my idea of the nature of dominance. The grouse banging on the table would not be my idea of a dominant, but rather a blowhard. A dominant wouldn't need to bang on the table.. the waiter would just naturally come on over to serve. ;) Celeste


I couldn't have said it better Myself!

~xoxo  


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RE: Nature of dominance. - 3/31/2007 2:35:51 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Some people are charismatic and that can be seen as being dominant, I'm not sure it is the same thing.

I think someone who is dominant in their personality are, much like BitaTruble says, just that way in almost every situation. They need to do very little and when they speak or when they act some others pay attention to them.

Who pays attention depends on the situation and the personalities of the people involved. Followers are usually looking for someone to follow so they'll pay attention, submissives may pay attention because they see/hear someone who triggers something in them, another dominant may pay attention just to see what is going on or they may ignore, a leader or wouldbe leader may pay attention if they feel their place is threatened.

A dominant is not necessarily a leader however in my opinion, they may shun leadership in favor of going it alone or with a small group. Leadership entails certain responsibilities and skills that may overlap with but do not perfectly correlate with dominance, that's why someone submissive can actually be a very effective leader.

I'm rambling, but I think it's a sense of knowing you are comfortable in your dominant personality and that is sent out when you act or speak even without you being fully aware of it or trying to manipulate people. If you are aware of it and you use techniques you can become a leader.

How you use that personality trait isn't good or bad, weak or strong, it merely is a trait to be used or not.

Hope that made some sense.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 3/31/2007 3:04:02 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Banging your fist on your table is just being an ass.

People view dominance and control as a struggle or a forceful exertion of your will. I view that as domineering or at least, people trying to be dominant. Dominant to me is more peacefully and natural, not forceful or overbearing.

A better analogy would be...what if you waved a gun around and demanded people do what you want? Would that be a dominant simply being dominant?

People who like to rebel against authority call me bossy. People ask me what to do at work and follow my lead even though I'm not the boss. My roommates all come to me with their problems with the house, with each other, with their own lives and want direction. Its just the way I've always been. I used to try and be something else because I thought my personality would make me unlikeable or "socially defective".

Followers simply follow the leader. To a degree, I view it as simply the natural order of things (more specifically ying and the yang).



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RE: Nature of dominance. - 3/31/2007 3:08:33 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know who said this, it is like this tho-----when I bang my fist on your table that might be dominance, but nobody, and I mean nobody bangs their fist on MY TABLE.

LOL




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RE: Nature of dominance. - 3/31/2007 3:19:20 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Banging a fist on a table and being demanding is domineering - quite different then being dominant - which to me implies a measure of control, and standing out above the rest

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 3/31/2007 3:23:41 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		lets say I poke you in the one teary green eye you own, is that dominance?

Groucho Marx and John Kennedy 

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Nature of dominance. - 3/31/2007 3:26:43 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		That would be being a bully...... poking a poor defenseless eye

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 5/8/2007 7:21:14 AM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline 		The Dom banging the table: Unable to BE a Dom and has to 'prove' his Doninance by embarrassing and humiliaiting the public and the restaurant workers. Personally, I would never go anywhere with anyone who banged the restaurant table. Shows a LACK of control in my book.

I would show my Dominance by having my slave/sub get up from the table and *be charming in a firm way to the server/manager to get service*. This works like a charm, by the way.

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 5/8/2007 7:23:08 AM >

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RE: Nature of dominance. - 5/8/2007 7:46:11 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I recognize when one is consistent in word, thought and deed, is controlled of self and is an authoritarian not by command but by the ability to compel loyalty regardless of what setting they may be in. It's not that they demand service, but they expect it and seem to get it ... and not that they demand compliance, but others tend to naturally comply to their will. Such is my idea of the nature of dominance. The grouse banging on the table would not be my idea of a dominant, but rather a blowhard. A dominant wouldn't need to bang on the table.. the waiter would just naturally come on over to serve. ;) Celeste


What she said.

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