RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain authority?

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/19/2010 4:51:04 PM

daddysprop247

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Wolfy, you weren't one of the folks i was referring to...and i can understand how some need to be in love in order to be opened up to ownership.

as for your Master drooling in his sleep, you might want to keep that under wraps. lol

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/19/2010 4:54:15 PM

WolfyMontgomery

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Hehehe.

but it's icky! Especially when I curl up next to him and get a face full of wet pillow!! XD Keeping it under wraps would just make those wraps wet!

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/19/2010 6:15:55 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I am really curious as to what people think about the relationship i speak about, the one wherein don't tell me you love me show me you own me is at play. Do you think as it seems many do it was somehow less than or devoid of something like emotion or romance or caring or need or what? Do you think its a cold relationship, unemotional or somehow not bonded?

Angel,

Understand that I'm not being at all disapproving-this is not a criticism or an attack, it's an observation in answer to your question. You ask what impression people get about the relationships you talk about-I wouldn't use the words cold or unemotional because I can't imagine a relationship consisting of fifty percent you being cold or unemotional

And I wouldn't say you were not bonded, because I can't imagine you in a casual relationship.

But there is a certain impression of...strictness, maybe? Harshness? Something decidedly un-lovey-dovey that I get from your posts, which I'm finding hard to qualify. I don't see it as a lack of anything-but I don't think I'd be happy in the type of relationship you describe (and there's no reason why I should be, cuz it's your relationship and not mine)-it's not that I'd want more (which would imply a lack of something), it's that I'd want different.

Did that make any sense whatsoever?

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/19/2010 6:38:49 PM

Aynne88

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain authority?

In a word... yes.

I have been with DB for over 7 years. He loves me very much and He still maintains authority. It's really not that hard.

(Oh, and I answered because I wanted to. I'm a switch, so I reached into my bag of labels and pulled out the Master tag so it's all good.)

This. And if he didn't love me I couldn' submit to him. We are madly in love.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/19/2010 7:34:15 PM

protective1

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It is worth noting that ascendancy of romantic love is a concept with totally western origination.
In earlier societies unions were sanctioned and driven primarily by the survival and advancement of the familial grouping.
A woman was sold(promised, married, bride price, betrothed) to a man who was strong enough to increase the family security and stature. Her love or lack thereof for him never entered the equation for the transaction to be succesful. What would grow was his appreciation of her service and usefulness past his initial desire for her. Now love often blossom in such a relationship, but it was not guaranteed, nor was love necessary for it to flourish and be fully supported by the societal norms. Ergo.. she could not run away without being dragged back and returned to her master often done by the males of her family. So a man value was his strength; economic and physical, a woman value was her service; sexual and domestic whether it came ental or not.
So what about love, well as western societies grew from a feudal system to industrialized society. Increased productivity created an increased pool of wealth that was distributed over a larger segment of the social groupings causing individual wealth and influence to grow. It was not as critical to bargain the females in the household, to establish strategic unions. Families were securing their future and establishing their influence and without this pressure, indivudals both male and female felt the freedom to have lesiure, and indivudals dreams separate from the fmaily. And you beging to see the emergence of romantin love, later rrefined to being "in love"
Now I come down on the side that loving my slave, that I totally own does not in anyway diminish my ownership and dominance of her. In fact it is my opinion, it enhances it. I will remind a slave I love her and I am going to punish and her, or adminster maintenance. These are my thoughts.
peace to all.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 11:55:30 AM

leadership527

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I see no conflict. Why would I? I am "stern" with Carol when I need to be because it's what the relationship needs. That's my job and I signed up for it. Yes, sometimes that sucks. Then again, sometimes pretty much any setup sucks. It's no different than Carol obeying when it's what the relationship needs even though it sometimes sucks. I personally do not equate dominant with "lazy" or "selfish" although clearly a non-trivial number of people do.

None of the things you have written aren't well supported by standard leadership models. What's the rub?

I think the more interesting question to me is WHERE IN THE HELL DOES THIS MEME COME FROM?. I have never, not once, seen a thread like this where the vast majority of responders didn't say something to the effect of:

"Whatever works for you, but for me, love is a key part of it."

It seems to me that if we're gonna have a stupid meme, I'd at least expect it to be the other way around. I'd expect to hear idiocy along the lines of:

"It's not possible to have a D/s relationship without love."

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 1:47:10 PM

MMsCandy

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Simply put i could not be his slave without love, not because of love itself necessarily but because how would he have all of me if i didn't love him? How could i give him ME without it? It's not just me in body, that's the easy part, the rest of me, my heart and my head that really matters here.

Likewise, he absolutely does love me, he also knows exactly what loving me means, which is for him to also control me and own me.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 1:52:45 PM

SorceressJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MMsCandy

Simply put i could not be his slave without love, not because of love itself necessarily but because how would he have all of me if i didn't love him? How could i give him ME without it? It's not just me in body, that's the easy part, the rest of me, my heart and my head that really matters here.

Likewise, he absolutely does love me, he also knows exactly what loving me means, which is for him to also control me and own me.

{{{THIS}}}

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 1:56:05 PM

WolfyMontgomery

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quote:

It seems to me that if we're gonna have a stupid meme, I'd at least expect it to be the other way around. I'd expect to hear idiocy along the lines of:

"It's not possible to have a D/s relationship without love."

The only thing that keeps this from being the Meme is the fact that there are some people who have D/s relationships who aren't in love. It's just apparently the majority who DO need love, and so our current Meme (if you can call it that) speaks better for it. At least our current "meme" isn't as idiotic sounding as that one ;P

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 3:08:14 PM

Twoshoes

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I certainly don't need love or any type of emotional attachment.
My only point is "why not?"

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 3:47:27 PM

whiteslavebitch

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I know, you don't want my answer, but here it is anyway. MasterK loves me and has no trouble maintaining his authority. I also have no desire to usurp his authority, it's a two sided coin.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 4:46:51 PM

littlewonder

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without love I'd rather be alone and single the rest of my life.

It's just not worth my time without it.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 4:59:37 PM

barelynangel

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~~FR~~ You know, maybe this should be another thread but what IS love everyone is commenting on -- i've seen nothing but the word being tossed around, no real explanation on what it MEANS to them other than what they CAN'T do without it. I mean people are saying they can't be in a relationship with out it, but i am curious as to what people really think it is and how it was different than what my Master and i had without his declaration. It sounds to me that its more of an obligation to have a relationship rather than something people can define.

Do people really have a clue what love is or are people so caught up in the word that they utilize it as a "reason." and without the word they can't do something whether it be submit or have a relationship or be owned or give yourself to someone.

I guess that's what i am having a hard time understanding what people mean when they say they need love or love is important etc that they would seriously base a whole relationship's existance or their submission on such.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 10/20/2010 5:08:34 PM >

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 5:08:01 PM

sexyred1

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Love, like every other word on the planet, is subjective. So, you would have to ask every one who posted what their personal definition is.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 5:10:22 PM

barelynangel

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grins, yeah i know that -- well considered it asked if its not too much of a tangent of the thread, i am especially curious from people who say that in order for the relationship to exist or that the love allows the submission to exist. Can you define what needs to exist without using the word love.

angel

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 5:13:59 PM

sexyred1

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I would say trust, communication and passion. Those are my big 3.

I was going to say you have to like the person, but I have been madly in love with someone who I did not actually like, so that blows that idea.

Alot of relationships are based on shared needs and desires, and not necessarily love. But people do like to think they are in love because it makes things more defined for them.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 10/20/2010 5:14:19 PM >

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 5:16:30 PM

tazzygirl

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Honesty, loyalty, trust, compassion, desire... those are the biggies for me.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 5:27:31 PM

Jaybeee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

quote:

seeming contradiction between your prodigious intellect and desire to be enslaved.

Hi Jaybeee not to hijack the thread but your statement here has me wondering what you mean by seeming contradiction? grins though i would change the word desire to need and enslaved to mastered. Which may shed some light on the connection between the two.

angel

Oh it's not a "hijacking", as has been said before, I welcome those people I invite, as well as those who gatecrash but bring intellect to the party. The rest will post where they want, and as clearly evidenced in this thread, a lot of them have plenty of time on their dainty little hands to do so, and I hope I've provided them too with some entertainment for their lives.

"Seeming" is the operative word because one of the most prized possessions in modern society, western and eastern, is freedom - both the "freedom from", and "freedom to" varieties. Generally, the more intelligent one is, the more one wishes to do, to think, to express those enjoyable things that come with freedom.

You, along with some other slaves, want freedom from freedom itself - and if that weren't an intriguing state of affairs in and of itself, you're clearly a woman of intellect; a lot of dumb people want others to make decisions for them, and such people throng the masses, but you and another lady here want - sorry, NEED that DESPITE your ability to exercise very sharp judgement indeed about what you want. Therein lies that apparent, but false contradiction I mentioned.

But nonetheless, you're both 4-leaf clovers.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 5:34:20 PM

tazzygirl

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Meow!

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Being in love with a slave - can a man maintain aut... - 10/20/2010 6:28:27 PM

littlewonder

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love....that passion, that feeling that makes my heart go thump thump thump every single time I'm around him, that smile I have on my face every single time I think of him and people look at me and say "what are you smiling about?", constantly having him in my head and thoughts in everything I do and say, doing everything I can for him because I can't think of anyone that deserves more than him, a feeling of wanting to spend my entire life with him and no one else, when you see fireworks and it's not the fourth of July and the electric shocks and tingles that run through your body when he speaks and/or touches me.....that's love for me....at least a little bit of what love is to me. I could probably go on forever with what it is for me but we'd be here all night.

There's a quote I like about love:

To love is to receive a glimpse of Heaven.

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