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RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 2:49:21 PM   
KingBee68


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BurntKitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: KingBee68
It sounds like you think that's inevitable (her finding out). I don't see it that way. People cheat on their spouses without getting caught all the time, don't they? I don't know, maybe I'm deluding myself. Maybe I'm choosing to believe I can do this (without her finding out) because I want so badly to get some physical release.


I'll use your answer: Riiiiiight. Do you have some idea how ridiculous that sounds?
I do now. I just needed to be beaten over the head with it. Thank you. :)

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 2:52:08 PM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KingBee68
And BDSM and sex aren't completely and totally intertwined? Riiiiiight. Do you have some idea how ridiculous that sounds?


No, it just sounds like you don't know what you're talking about.  For some people, all of the above are sexual.  For others, it's not.  I play casually with a number of people that sex doesn't enter into any of this. 


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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 3:01:11 PM   
KingBee68


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

You know...without doubt, coming to her with your needs as a human being is going to be hard.  There may be tears, there may be tension between you for a minute, an hour, a week, or a month or more...but you did not cause this situation and you are caught up in its consequences possibly just as much as she is.  What is hardest during these times, is that we have to trust that person that we married to actually -be- the person that we married - all the love all the desire and commitment that we had in that one moment comes down to -this- moment...trust between each other.

What a wonderful person you must be. I'm not going to talk to my wife about this (at least not yet). Nor am I going to cheat.

For now, I'll just persevere. If you made it 10 years, maybe I can, too. I am going to try to get some help/support. Lockit said she'd help me with that, so I'll try that first. The important thing here is that I was at my wit's end and feeling like I had no other choice. But I see now that I still have options. Only when (and hopefully that's an "if") I run out of those will I go to her and have that conversation. And some day (hopefully when she's BETTER), I'll let her know how close I came, but for now, I'll be keeping this to myself.

Again, thank you.

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RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 3:13:15 PM   
KingBee68


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Thank you to all those who called me out on the issues of honor, integrity, and trust. (Even those of you who weren't so nice about it!)

Special thanks to those who were kind and compassionate. You've helped me to see things differently and saved me from making what would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

I probably won't spend much time here in the future, but I'll respond to any emails that people send. This has been quite an experience. Thanks, again.

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RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 3:43:26 PM   
poise


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Someone pinch me please...quick!  
This has certainly turned out to be a "not your average" ending.
Much respect to the posters that offered such great advice, and to you KingBee
for standing firm and at least appearing to take it to heart. 
My best to you and your wife.


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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 3:51:19 PM   
KingBee68


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Joined: 10/28/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Someone pinch me please...quick!  
This has certainly turned out to be a "not your average" ending.
Much respect to the posters that offered such great advice, and to you KingBee
for standing firm and at least appearing to take it to heart. 
My best to you and your wife.

Thanks for the well wishes. I didn't just appear to take it to heart. I really do love her that much and would do anything to keep from hurting her - even if it means years of blue balls and cold showers.

And now, I think I'll try to avoid coming back to read further responses to this thread. Pics like your avatar sure don't make things any easier for me!!! :)

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 4:51:29 PM   
poise


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Heck...this avatar is as subtle as can be.
You ought to visit the Politics and Religion section.
There are some really nice asses there.....literally!

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Not your average intro... - 10/28/2010 8:55:52 PM   
lizi


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Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Someone pinch me please...quick!  
This has certainly turned out to be a "not your average" ending.
Much respect to the posters that offered such great advice, and to you KingBee
for standing firm and at least appearing to take it to heart. 
My best to you and your wife.



I'm with you Poise. I'm rather entranced with how this thread has turned out, I'm not sure I've ever seen it happen before. Good on you KingBee for being man enough to admit your change of heart out here in public and let others learn from it. It's really an uplifting change of pace to see someone think a course of action through and want to do the right thing.

So many times I've seen posters put their stories out on these boards and not get any acknowledgement for it. It's just nice to know that their efforts made a difference to you.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Not your average intro... - 10/29/2010 4:45:09 AM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Most people here want a relationship, someone they can call at 11:00PM when their car breaks down, someone available for a shoulder to cry on when they get bad news. You aren't this. You can't be a lover, a friend, or anything else except an hour here or there. Women can get that any day of the week. What can you offer to make this one hour worth having? 

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Not your average intro... - 10/29/2010 6:58:29 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


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Good on you OP for having changed your mind. And good for all the posters (be it kindness, or having to hit you over the head with a stupid stick) for having given you the advice you needed to hear.

I went almost 20 yrs without sex, no, being female is no different than male in that respect, at least not to me. But I'd made myself a promise that I'd rather be alone than with someone who couldn't be there for me, care for me, love me or respect me. I'm back on the wagon again, so to speak, through no choice of my own. But until the man who truly wants me comes along, then I'll handle the situation on my own. With no outside help, as offered by so many "kind" men who are just looking to get their rocks off because they think I'm somehow desperate. Nope, not gonna happen. I deserve better, and I know it deep in my heart.

Good luck, hope things work out for you. And don't kid yourself, the wife always knows even if she won't or can't admit it to herself. Take it from someone who's been there. It hurts like hell and makes you feel like a lesser human being for not being able to fulfill your partner's desires. And I was healthy, so double-whammy.

< Message edited by tiggerspoohbear -- 10/29/2010 7:00:03 AM >


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RE: Not your average intro... - 10/30/2010 8:05:13 AM   
OohAahMrs


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You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Not your average intro... - 11/2/2010 11:20:43 AM   
notblond443


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Joined: 10/29/2010
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I think he's being honest about putting out there what he's looking for.  Why all the anger?

(in reply to KingBee68)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Not your average intro... - 11/2/2010 1:20:30 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
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OOOO, just nm   It's not worth it in the least.



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"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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Profile   Post #: 53
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