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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 10:51:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Here is what I would do. NOTHING.

Men like the pursuit. If a man is not pursuing you, he is not interested.

It is really that simple.

As several wise men have just responded, it really isn't "that simple" for every man. Some sure, but not all. I would advise the OP to never assume that all men like a pursuit and or to assume that simply because he isn't chasing her, that he isn't interested. Most men in my own personal experience are more complex than that...............luci

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 11:08:19 AM

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quote:

the pursuit

FR to various posts...

If you like me, just fucking tell me.

We'll take it from there.

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 11:18:02 AM

hlen5

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HiddenGeisha,

For a very long while, I was so afraid of rejection I was throwing off a "not interested" vibe (more like a "GTF away from me" vibe). Look into his eyes, smile and just think "I want you to kiss me". It works!!

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 10/31/2010 11:19:05 AM >

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 12:16:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5
. Look into his eyes, smile and just think "I want you to kiss me". It works!!

This really does work in a very very significant number of cases!

To the OP...

Well... I have "kiss compatibility" as a number 1 make-or-break thing. If the first kiss is really dreadful then I'm really unlikely to be interested (sexually) in someone after that. So.. if it was a colossal disaster that may be it...

On the other hand... it could be lots of things (as pointed out above).

I'd definitely do hlen5's jedi mind control technique - Powerful it is, a snog you will surely get.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 12:32:13 PM

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Shsh Cml, stop giving away the ancient jedi secrets of how to have a female chase you.. It does work on one level or another.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 12:33:08 PM

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LMAO.

OP, despite the preponderance of politically correct comments about how men are too shy to speak up, trust your instincts. I know you are 25 and men make it known when they want you.

So, if you want to speak up and tell this guy you like him, go ahead, but from personal experience I know men tell you and more importantly, show you, when they are interested.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 12:43:47 PM

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But of course sr oh delicious and desirable one, we most certainly do especially if the lady indicates that she too has some interest. That's the dance isn't it? We dance at a distance circling closer and closer until one party makes the first move.

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(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 12:57:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Here is what I would do. NOTHING.

Men like the pursuit. If a man is not pursuing you, he is not interested.

It is really that simple.

quote:

I know you are 25 and men make it known when they want you.

Red, I love you but I haven't found that to be the case at all. Valyraen and I started dating when I - literally - landed in his lap cause I was tired of crushing on him for years.

Particularly not if you, like me, go for the geeks/nerds of the world. They are used to having society tell them they aren't worth a woman, being constantly rejected, told to get a life, etc. We've seen that in a few threads lately. Oddly, that doesn't make them less dominant or less alpha - IMHO as a woman who exclusively dates the geeky - it simply means that they are going to make damn sure that you are interested in them and aren't fucking around with their head again before they offer to make you their own personal slave Leia.

Honestly the ones who have chased me usually got bored and want to chase something else once they have me. For that reason, I've adopted the 'either he will or he won't' approach and I let my intentions be known. How he responds to them is up to him and I refuse to worry about it. If he decides not to go for me... There are others and he knows that I know it. I won't miss the ones who 'got away'.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/31/2010 1:03:57 PM >

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:00:19 PM

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To the OP

Whether to discuss a kiss or not- from a guy's perspective- often a major faux pas. If this guy isn't comfortable about discussing physical intimacy- then you'll just make him uncomfortable. Most people lie about sex- and I don't buy the divide between the D/S crowd and the "nilla" crowd. Same rules apply for dating.

He may have been looking for more physical encouragement than you gave him in your kiss. To you, it may have been a rather interesting osculation, but I've had girls that have kissed me pretty thoroughly one day- taking me by surprise actually, and then the next time I saw them- cold shoulder. And in one case we eventually we wound up dating for a couple of years- go figure. Men are often puzzled by the actions of women, but we're much more straightforward- there's good research to back me up here.

You want to make it plain to this guy that you're interested? When you see him- greet him with a hug- and hold it. And if his hands aren't anywhere near your ass, grab his. This can be seen as playful enough to give an out if necessary, but generally gets the point across.

Have fun Tuesday-

Sam

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:10:41 PM

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Fuck Me have americans lost the ability to actually SPEAK? Hinting, looking and thinking it, tying to subtly signal... all bloody beating around the damn bush with their fingers crossed that some imagined sign might be read the right way..... Open your mouth and ASK!

@Aqua

I'm neither a geek or a nerd. If I'm interested enough to hunt the girl I already know where I want to take things, so if she starts leading Me a merry dance instead of taking My hand and starting to work towards what I've told her I am prepared to try and build.... then I pretty soon work out that the compatibility isn't there for what I wanted. I offer what I offer, it either appeals or it doesn't and she doesn't have THAT much time to dither about whether she is on or out... else I'll assume she's out and I'll have moved on.... the interesting part is moving together hand in hand, not trying to reel her in like a bloody fish!

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:14:44 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I'd definitely do hlen5. A snog she will surely get.

You dear man, have excellent taste in women, and aren't afraid to make it known.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:16:01 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Fuck Me have americans lost the ability to actually SPEAK? Hinting, looking and thinking it, tying to subtly signal... all bloody beating around the damn bush with their fingers crossed that some imagined sign might be read the right way..... Open your mouth and ASK!

@Aqua

I'm neither a geek or a nerd. If I'm interested enough to hunt the girl I already know where I want to take things, so if she starts leading Me a merry dance instead of taking My hand and starting to work towards what I've told her I am prepared to try and build.... then I pretty soon work out that the compatibility isn't there for what I wanted. I offer what I offer, it either appeals or it doesn't and she doesn't have THAT much time to dither about whether she is on or out... else I'll assume she's out and I'll have moved on.... the interesting part is moving together hand in hand, not trying to reel her in like a bloody fish!

You may want to reread my post. I'm agreeing with the men who are saying that not all men want to chase.

I do not suggest leading anyone in a merry dance. I say "Honestly the ones who have chased me usually got bored and want to chase something else once they have me. For that reason, I've adopted the 'either he will or he won't' approach and I let my intentions be known. How he responds to them is up to him and I refuse to worry about it. If he decides not to go for me... There are others and he knows that I know it. I won't miss the ones who 'got away'."

I'm not really interested in being chased.

Edited to add: I even say that my owner and husband didn't have to chase me in the slightest. I landed in his lap. Literally. See there was a tickle fight, I ended up in his lap... Next thing I know his hands are under my shirt, he's staying in my dorm room and he's owned my ass ever since.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/31/2010 1:19:43 PM >

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:19:33 PM

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The bit above your name was to the thread in general... for some reason its changing the at sign into **** ?!?!?!?

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Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:20:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

The bit above your name was to the thread in general... for some reason its changing the at sign into **** ?!?!?!?

My apologies if I was confused - I thought you were stating that I was advocating the 'merry dance' approach.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:30:04 PM

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No appology needed sweetie it confusion mostly came from whatever either in My system or CM's system is changing the 'at' sign when I post :(

I was mearly giving an alternate, non-geek example... I don't worry about rejection.... If I am interested in looking further I'll raise the issue, if she isn't interested and lets Me know then cool, she just saved Me time and effort... its if she is where the problem lays... If she is willing to take My hand and move together, all cool, no chase... its the ones who want to be chased that end up boring Me... either they want it or not, if so take My hand or I'm g...o...n...e!

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 1:44:05 PM

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Some women enjoy and prefer it when the guy pursues. It is an act showing that he is man enough to be a guy. It is flattering. It would never work for me if I had to pursue a guy because he was too insecure or fearful of rejection, that alone makes him not compatible with what I want in a guy - assertive, confident, unafraid. I could be mistaken but I think these are probably the traits that sexyred1 also looks for in a man.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 2:24:50 PM

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If they want someone to 'chase' and jump through hoops they can go try and pull a circus acrobat or an obedience trained dog..... Assertive and confident would just tell her what's on offer, she can take it or leave it.... she doesn't get to play games with it.

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 2:33:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
Assertive and confident would just tell her what's on offer, she can take it or leave it.... she doesn't get to play games with it.

Just as there are men who are addicted to conquest -- they'll do anything to get the girl, and then once they've gotten her, they set their sites on the next prospect -- so too there are women who are addicted to being conquered. They don't feel female unless a man is constantly trying to conquer them. Such women keep attracting the conquest-addicted men, in a cycle that repeats again and again, until the woman is considered too old to be a worthy conquest.

Men (and women) who understand themselves and accept themselves are not addicts.

If the cat is chasing the cat-toy, who is really in control? The cat, or the person wielding the toy?

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 3:05:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

If the cat is chasing the cat-toy, who is really in control? The cat, or the person wielding the toy?

Quite so... I've all the patience in the world for sitting like adults and answering her questions about the things she needs to know in order to make the decision... but I'm not going to get into 'teenager dating' games and jumping through hoops.

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 10/31/2010 3:22:10 PM

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quote:

If you want him to kiss you again, do 3, 4, 5 and 6 on this list: http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-with-a-Guy

I have to say, #4 works pretty well, IME

Seriously though, OP. You do have to let him know that you are interested one way or another. You can be interested as all get out, but if the body language is wrong and you don't tell him, you are leaving him guessing and that really isn't fair. Ask the Doms on this forum how many times they have said/ typed that they aren't mind readers when a sub complains that her Dom should have 'known' this or that, and it turns out that she never opened her mouth and told him.

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