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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 12:27:47 AM

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*gets all swoony just thinking about ML and his lucky pillow.... *sigh*

If you were here, I would totally man up, kiss you and *oops* did my boozies fall out of my too tight blouse?

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 12:31:22 AM

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Sheesh poise, you can read me like a comic.

Did I ever mention my penchant for moustaches and thick eyebrows?

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 12:34:14 AM

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heck. I can't seem to think straight.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 12:34:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
If the cat is chasing the cat-toy, who is really in control? The cat, or the person wielding the toy?

Oh that's easy... if the cat ends up bent over a desk with a huge cock stuffed up it's ass it's not the cat who is in control.

If the toy-wielder ends up spread-eagled on the floor covered in fish paste, well we know it's the cat ;-)

uh... wait a second. There's something very wrong with my analogy.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 12:48:21 AM

MistressRosalyn

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Goodness cml, I can think of much better things to snog than a pillow...

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 12:51:08 AM

MistressRosalyn

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*Note to self*
Wake ML at regular intervals and ask him for analogies. Much amusement to be derived.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 1:01:12 AM

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C'mon folks... back on topic.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 1:38:32 AM

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The tale of the man under the bridge has been buried on page 4. May it rest in peace. Back to your regularly scheduled OT flirting...

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 2:21:07 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I think I can make a swing at getting this back on topic:

My Buddy The Bridge Troll.

I know a man forced to live under a bridge. He's in a gaming group an old co-worker of mine is running.

He had a career and people who cared about him.

But he made a pass at the wrong woman and was convicted of assault and a sexual offender charge. Went to jail for a while.

Since he's a sexual offender, he's not eligible for post-correctional housing. He can't get a job. He can't get a home.

Some of you will try to find reasons why he deserved this. It's not the point. Plenty of men in his situation deserve some kind of censure, but the pendulum of justice has swung too far the wrong way. And many, too many, were put in jail on trumped up charges that had no basis in reality; but lawyers sometimes fail their clients. And sometimes people charged with a crime shoot themselves in the foot during the evidentiary process. It happens.

After a phone call to the cops is made, it no longer matters if the woman in question wants to press charges. This is done by the state. Cops will ask if she wants to be nice about things and let it go, but they don't have to. They can carry the ball all on their own.

I hung out with the dude today. Spent 5 hours with him, like I do every sunday. After the game sometimes I drive him back to his fucking bridge. He's not a theoretical; this is what happens.

Women. It sucks to be an american man. It is not a case where we're just scared; we can and do get our lives ruined by simply being men.

So, yeah. Consider that before wondering why he doesn't make a move on you.

Edit:
I should add that there's 8 other guys under there with him. All of them because of the restrictions of the state.

Oh, and he's got an ankle bracelet. He must be back under the bridge by 6 pm every night. Since it's his 'legal residence'. If he gets a friend who offers him a place to stay for the night? Too bad, so sad.

Hmmm.... do you know what this chap actually did?

My experience of dating in the USA was nothing like the minefield you seem to be representing here... It was back in 2000-2002 mind you, so things may have changed a lot.

< Message edited by crazyml -- 11/1/2010 2:25:16 AM >

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 3:31:39 AM

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>>Hmmm.... do you know what this chap actually did?

He told me once. It was sufficiently bland that it's not worth posting, either in the sense of "But He Was Innocent!" or "But He Deserved It!" He deserved something. Maybe a week or two in jail to sober up and remember not to party so hard next time. This, he did not deserve. At least if his story is true, and I have no reason to doubt him.

Here's a starting point link to some of the things that could have landed him under the bridge. Take special note of the advice they give on giving statements to the police, on some of their topic pages.

http://www.dmt-law.com/lawyer-attorney-1465716.html

What he did would matter in a different frame. But here... The point is that our legal system does not recognize the woman's right to let it go. If the police are called in, and they see something, they're obliged to press charges on behalf of the state.

Normally, the issue gets dropped in court. Sometimes it doesn't. Child pornography is one example - if you've visited any websites that even had an ad with an explicit female form that could be potentially under 18, and the police manage to collect a statement from you that you were the sole user during the span of time that the advert was logged, then... game over. Third degree felony. That's one example of many where having the cops called in is a bad thing.

Rape is another case where the lines are blurry. Another anecdote:

I was the key witness in a rape trial 18 years ago. The man in question did not rape the woman, in my presence I saw enough to know this for certain. But since I was underage, the state prosecutor managed to dismiss my testimony. The only evidence she had were 'bruises' in photographs, and to my eyes the bruises weren't visible.

Sometimes the law is fair. Sometimes it's not.

It's fair often enough that you don't have to live in a cave. It's unfair often enough that fear is justified. Just like walking in the street will sometimes end up getting you hit by a car, dating will sometimes land you in jail.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/1/2010 3:39:31 AM >

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 4:25:32 AM

MistressRosalyn

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DMF, not to say that your friend did or did not do anything wrong, I am only going to say this. I once believed and trusted that someone did not do the horrible things they were accused of doing, because I thought I knew that the accuser had an ulterior motive. Imagine my horror at discovering far too late that it was true. I learned in a most gut-wrenching, soul-searing way that I am not the perfect judge of character that I thought I was, and I will live with that for the rest of my life.

Did you know, rapists and other sexual predators often look just like the guy sleeping in your bed? Or your uncle? Or your cousin? Or your daughter's uncle? They are expert at spinning a great story as to why they didn't really do what you thought someone saw/heard them do, and even when caught red-handed they will still try to weasel out of it.

So while I understand that fear is the reason that some men may choose not to make advances lest they be misunderstood, I really think that that fear isn't the case here for the OP's friend.

And in a side note, if your friend was so drunk/partied out that he did something that could land him in jail for a week or two, isn't it possible that he could have done something he doesn't remember, or doesn't want to remember? Just sayin' is all.

Oh, and before we get Mod-spanked again, maybe this needs its own thread if you want to continue to discuss it?

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 4:38:10 AM

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That's exactly why I'm not sharing what "Bridge Troll" did.

His case is a drop in the bucket. One out of hundreds of thousands.

From Wikipedia:
The United States has the highest documented incarceration rate in the world.[4][5] The U.S. incarceration rate on December 31, 2008 was 754 inmates per 100,000 U.S. residents, or 0.75%.[6] The USA also has the highest total documented prison and jail population in the world.
According to the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS): "In 2008, over 7.3 million people were on probation, in jail or prison, or on parole at year-end — 3.2% of all U.S. adult residents or 1 in every 31 adults."[9]

Most telling of all:
The United States has less than 5% of the world's population[25] and 23.4% of the world's prison population.[4]

I didn't personally witness Bridge Troll's crime firsthand. I don't know if he's lying, though his story has been backed up by my co-worker.

I did witness a rape not happening that landed the man 10 years in jail. He didn't do it. I wasn't allowed to testify; I was too young.

--

MistressRosalyn wrote:
>>rapists and other sexual predators often look just like the guy sleeping in your bed?"

That is why men don't do aggressive anymore. Because we all look like rapists.

MistressRosalyn wrote:
>>I really think that that fear isn't the case here for the OP's friend.

Oh, he might not be thinking "She'll send me to jail" consciously. He's just spent a lifetime trying to avoid looking like the guy sleeping in her bed, and got stuck in a rut.

MistressRosalyn wrote:
>>Oh, and before we get Mod-spanked again, maybe this needs its own thread if you want to continue to discuss it?

We're on target. This is exactly what the OP was asking about. "Why wouldn't he kiss me?" I can't think of a bigger reason.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/1/2010 4:43:09 AM >

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 7:17:41 AM

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Too long of a pursuit often grows into a strong "friendship zone" that neither person can later break through.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 10:47:40 AM

poise

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I tried to fight it....really I did.
I tried to be nonchalant, and act like I wasn't affected.
But...I just can't deny myself any longer.
I must kiss you all NOW!

Sorry Arturas..I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me this one kiss.

< Message edited by poise -- 11/1/2010 10:49:21 AM >

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 10:50:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

I tried to fight it....really I did.
I tried to be nonchalant, and act like I wasn't affected.
But...I just can't deny myself any longer.
I must kiss you all NOW!

Sorry Arturas..I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me this one kiss.

Sorry. gotta turn you down....am not kissing anyone with a tash.... Given I have facial hair too... have you SEEN how velcro works? :P

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 11:08:09 AM

poise

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Funny you mentioned that.....my mustache IS velcro....

And here I thought you had a sense of adventure about you......
(saunters off to deal with this refusal of kindness and heartfelt generosity

)

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 12:25:22 PM

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Maybe you got lousy tongue action shrug

BadOne

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 1:26:21 PM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I'd definitely do hlen5. A snog she will surely get.

You dear man, have excellent taste in women, and aren't afraid to make it known.

Thanks for the editing and the thought, Poise!!

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 4:07:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

LMAO.

OP, despite the preponderance of politically correct comments about how men are too shy to speak up, trust your instincts. I know you are 25 and men make it known when they want you.

So, if you want to speak up and tell this guy you like him, go ahead, but from personal experience I know men tell you and more importantly, show you, when they are interested.

In the case of my current relationship with my Master, to say that I was giving off mixed signals would be a vast understatement. I was aware of the reason for these ambiguities, at least some of them, but I am also very dense in the does he like me or not department.
I asked him out the first time.

It worked out quite well in my case.

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RE: more of an "ask a guy" thing... - 11/1/2010 7:13:33 PM

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K guys... I enjoy a good heated discussion but no tearing people down please...

I went and hung out with him today... got more kisses... they were amazing... so i am happy in that department...

Just need to figure out if he likes me as like a FWB or as a potential long term partner...

I did man up a bit and made a bit of a move myself for once...

thanks for those that stuck to my topic and helped me with my situation...

AvaJayne

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