valeca
Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: spankmepink11 While the word "mentor" by definition is to teach...and counsel. I believe that mentoring is most effective when done by someone who shares ones orientation. ( would a nurse...ask a plumber to mentor them in the nursing field ?) Experienced submissives should mentor the inexperienced...and the same should be done amongst Dominants ( my humble opinion). I also agree that with the opinion that a Dominant mentoring a submissive is more along the lines of training...than mentoring. ( again....my opinion,) but , every Dominant is different in His/Her expectations of a submissive, so being trained by a Dominant with whom one is not in a relationship with can only be effective in giving the submissive a taste of the dynamic involved in a D/s relationship. There are many workshops...offered by Dominants ...for Dominants....but i've not heard of any submissives offering workshops on the finer points of submission. As for the role of "protector" i agree with mistoferin....being submissive does not in any way render one helpless or unable to fend for themselves. As I was getting ready to post my own thoughts, I came across this post. Took the words right out of my mouth, spankmepink! I've never felt the need for a Mentor myself, and with the years of experience I have now, I can't see me ever seeking one. But, I think were I ever to look, I would look for one of my own orientation...one who can relate to the same mental/physical side of the coin as myself. If I want to know 'how the other half lives', or what a Dominant's perspective is on a situation, I'll ask Dominant friends...and more than one...to get a variety of answers. The Protector thing...wouldn't happen for me. The only ones I've had the experience of knowing who claimed the title have had puffed up ego's about their prowess/ability/wisdom and often displayed great amounts of jealousy when approached about someone under their 'protection'--unless, of course, it was to compliment the submissive, in which case, the 'Protector' took full credit as if the submissive in question hadn't had a thing to do with her own behavior (and were often derisive of the girl as well..."She couldn't have done it without Me!"). It all seemed a little silly to me. I'm an adult, I don't need protection when I can use my mind and make informed desicions about people, places or things. If I make the wrong choice, so be it. It happens and I take responsibility for it when it does. For the record, I don't look at escorting a female to her car at night (or other similar things) in the same light. For myself, that equates to being a gentleman...or safety in numbers, and has nothing to do with the BDSM dynamic as a submissive male can just as easily escort someone to their car as a Dominant can. For that matter, a group of the frilliest, girly-girls can escort me to my car at night and I'd feel just as safe.
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~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.
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