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RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/15/2010 6:55:42 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Glad I'm not the only one who didn't know (or care) who this was.
He's in some heavy metal band so he wears a lot of dark clothes, leather and chains as part of his concert costumes. So what?

Not a great Priest fan but he has an amazing voice.

He came out in the late 90's, which was a bit of a joke, I mean "Rob Halford is gay, what a surprise..." A guy who looks like he walked out of a gay leather club being gay? Who would have thought...

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RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/15/2010 8:42:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomArtist4u
cmon Lance, I thought Rob Halford was some sort of DemiGod to the leather scene? I mean he DID write the theme song...

here he is in all his Domly Leather-Godlinesshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45EJ1oYAqKw

As Grandpa was fond of saying "You thought wrong." Theme song for bikers? Probably. Theme song for gay Leathermen? I didn't know there is one.... I mean, ... I'm pretty sure there isn't one. If anything, probably "Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner. Or something else, but operatic and written waaay before Rob Halford's dad was born. LOL!

Short version: Rob Halford seems to be a Johnny-come-lately.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes
Who knew that was Rob Halford? NOT ME!

Had to google what a "Rob Halford" is or was. Okay, so he was in Judas Priest and there are some even better shots of him being all Domly-n-such.

Glad I'm not the only one who didn't know (or care) who this was.
He's in some heavy metal band so he wears a lot of dark clothes, leather and chains as part of his concert costumes. So what?

THANK YOU!

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"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/15/2010 8:46:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
[I'm not] a great Priest fan but he [Halford] has an amazing voice.

He came out in the late 90's, which was a bit of a joke, I mean "Rob Halford is gay, what a surprise..." A guy who looks like he walked out of a gay leather club being gay? Who would have thought...

There is a HUGE difference between having a leather fetish (as Halford obviously does) and being a Leatherman.

Like I said above, "He would be laughed out of a 'twue' leather bar as a poser." Too many think slapping leather on makes one a Leatherman, just as WAAAAaaayyy too many d-type wanna-bes think slapping a "domly name" on themselves makes them a Dom. They do so in an attempt to figure out "What makes a Dom a Dom?" as the OP asks in the title to this thread.

// Crowd applaudes Lance's artful segue back to subject of thread. //

// Lance mounts his motorcycle and roars off stage, having learned a thing or two from Halford's stage costumes (the extreme to be avoided) and persona (make grand entrances and exits.) LOL! //

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 12/15/2010 8:54:03 AM >

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RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/15/2010 9:13:01 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
[I'm not] a great Priest fan but he [Halford] has an amazing voice.

He came out in the late 90's, which was a bit of a joke, I mean "Rob Halford is gay, what a surprise..." A guy who looks like he walked out of a gay leather club being gay? Who would have thought...

There is a HUGE difference between having a leather fetish (as Halford obviously does) and being a Leatherman.

Like I said above, "He would be laughed out of a 'twue' leather bar as a poser." Too many think slapping leather on makes one a Leatherman, just as WAAAAaaayyy too many d-type wanna-bes think slapping a "domly name" on themselves makes them a Dom. They do so in an attempt to figure out "What makes a Dom a Dom?" as the OP asks in the title to this thread.

// Crowd applaudes Lance's artful segue back to subject of thread. //

// Lance mounts his motorcycle and roars off stage, having learned a thing or two from Halford's stage costumes (the extreme to be avoided) and persona (make grand entrances and exits.) LOL! //

Actually if you would go and find the interviews Halford did on the subject, you will find that he said he was regularly browsing through gay BDSM shops to find clothes. He took the look so much over the top that it was almost a parody, but still, anybody with the slightest gaydar wouldn't have ever taken him for straight. As for him being a dom? I don't know about that, he wore far too many collars for that, but that's nitpicking...

But I guess you want to discuss that now with plenty of wiki copies and show all you know, I simply can't be aresed with that, the whole point was that it was a bit funny that the whole usually so hetero focused macho metal scene was surprised when he came out, which I found really amusing, he never advertised the fact that he was gay before he came out, but he also didn't try to hide it. There are several interviews of him where he admitted to being "very sympathetic" towards the BDSM scene and then changed the subject.

As for a material making one a dom/me - not really, I know quite a few subs who have a fetish for certain materials, I'd still be a sadist if I'd have a fetish for lace or silk instead of leather... Though wearing a huge collar with a big D-ring is possibly a good sign that you aren't 100% twue dom....

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to LanceHughes)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/16/2010 1:41:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I thought for a minute that was George Michael all tarted up for a night on the town.

I thought I was looking at Sasha Baron Cohen's new character.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/16/2010 3:52:26 AM

delicatelydirty

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Curls up next to Aqua at the foot of Kitty Doms chair hehe

Seriously my thoughts on this are that what makes a Dom for me is simply that when I am with him I feel submissive towards him, which is very rare these days. Once the "sub frenzy " died off and the acceptance of who I am took hold (and throw in a couple of bad experiences) I realised a label is just that, a label, it is meaningless if he doesnt have the goods to back it up and even if he does, if he isnt what I am looking for then his "Domliness" would be wasted on me anyway.

I think in the end what makes a Dominant for me personally is that he is the equal yet opposite of who I am.

(in reply to Awareness)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/16/2010 7:30:16 AM

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To me, this is a pretty simple answer, what makes a Dom a Dom is the Man. Nothing else, it has to be his perceptions, understandings, and beliefs that form his core and character because its the core that keeps him standing upright in what he has determined and his character that guides him through life. i think it goes along the lines of a statement i have in my profile:

He excudes confidence, i, as a woman, know He possesses more than confidence; He possesses power. Power that comes not from practice, but that formed a building block of his character.

i think this statement says so much about a Man and yes, i believe this concept of power is a concept that includes so many processes a Man must utilize and have in himself. There are many men i would identify as dominant in nature and who lead dominant lives especially when it comes to their women. But all in all, to me the concept of dom extends to ALL of his life because he cannot separate his core and his character into partitions, its all or nothing to me.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/16/2010 7:31:03 AM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/16/2010 9:22:40 AM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
A specific gene, perhaps?

Quite.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/16/2010 9:40:59 AM

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I don't think the answer to what makes a Dom a Dom is all that complicated.

You are what you think you are, and it does not matter how someone else defines that.

In a Dom's case, he/she would need to find a sub who agrees with that particular definition.

(in reply to Rule)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 7:48:04 AM

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Is this so hard? Dominants are controlling, or they 'act' dominant enough to make some of these submissives happy, or they have an 'aura' of dominance that makes their submissive feel they're this or that...

That is kind of hard to define isn't it? Hm.

My definition is that I get turned on by obedient women, often when mere attraction and availability wouldn't be enough. I get turned off by women that tell me what to do; I get very turned on knowing that a woman wants me to just 'use her' for my own pleasure, without specific regard to her own. Part of that is that my default baseline expectation is that most people do want quid pro quo, or want things from me without regard for my own situation and/or mental state, so finding someone who simply gives without demanding in return is very freeing and disarming.

My behavior, my 'aura' or masculine energy or anything like that has nothing to do with that definition. I know plenty of hard-charging motherfuckers who like to be bossed around; I'm a (in person) pretty laid back character who doesn't like it, and does like to be obeyed when in my quiet and laid back way I tell a girl to get on her knees. The hard-charging guy, I'd still call submissive. I'm dominant.

Now, attracting submissive women is an entirely different subject to me. Those kinds of behaviors depend on context, and can be learned; almost like a skill. Presenting that 'dominant aura'. We need more and better words for this kind of thing.

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"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 8:34:07 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I don't think the answer to what makes a Dom a Dom is all that complicated.

You are what you think you are, and it does not matter how someone else defines that.

In a Dom's case, he/she would need to find a sub who agrees with that particular definition.

This is where it's at. We can get all caught up on labels and such, but if you zig where I zag, it's all cool.

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 8:42:07 AM

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Okay, just so we're clear....it's not the leather, the chains, the chair, the chaps or even the "aura" of dominance...right?

Wow, there's quite a few guys on the other side that didn't get the memo on that one.

I can tell you what ISN'T dom-like (at least in my book).....a photo shot looking down at the camera and wearing a sour-puss scowl. "Real" doms smile.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 8:42:13 AM

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That line of argument could extend all the way to solipsism. "You are what you think you are" is only half-true; you also think you are what you are based on evidence given by the senses.

Sexual/"glee" preference is comparatively unambiguous. If you define these relationship terms within the scope of what does or doesn't fan your flames, instead of how you act; or worse, in terms of Lewis Carroll's Humpty-Dumpty wordplay, then it may give a much stronger and more useful foundation for communication.

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bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 8:46:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

Okay, just so we're clear....it's not the leather, the chains, the chair, the chaps or even the "aura" of dominance...right?

Wow, there's quite a few guys on the other side that didn't get the memo on that one.

I can tell you what ISN'T dom-like (at least in my book).....a photo shot looking down at the camera and wearing a sour-puss scowl. "Real" doms smile.

Perhaps. But successful profiles don't smile or scowl.

Relevant quote: "Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile"

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 10:51:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Now, attracting submissive women is an entirely different subject to me. Those kinds of behaviors depend on context, and can be learned; almost like a skill. Presenting that 'dominant aura'. We need more and better words for this kind of thing.

I find intriguing that you feel that attracting submissive women is a learned skill.

Some might say that trying to learn how to attract others is a form of manipulation; and others might say it is a form of self improvement.

I base my attraction to a man on various factors, not the least of which is just pure and simple animal lust coupled with compatible personality.

As in all things Collarme, people like to try and fit their personal definitions into a larger context, so the questions of what makes a Dom a Dom, or a sub a sub, etc. will continue.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 11:19:29 AM

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Subs

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RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 1:55:15 PM

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How enlightening....do elaborate.

(in reply to FETtotheLIFE)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 3:27:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

I can tell you what ISN'T dom-like (at least in my book).....a photo shot looking down at the camera and wearing a sour-puss scowl. "Real" doms smile.

Perhaps. But successful profiles don't smile or scowl.

Relevant quote: "Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile"

Please note MY relevant, and bolded, quote above.

Call me silly, but I like when a man looks at the camera and smiles.

Of course, none of that means anything in regards to his ability to be a dominant man. It does, however, go a long way towards showing me he's confidant enough to buck some online article about "sucessful profile pictures" and just be himself.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 12/17/2010 3:30:39 PM >

(in reply to DMFParadox)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 3:47:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

I can tell you what ISN'T dom-like (at least in my book).....a photo shot looking down at the camera and wearing a sour-puss scowl. "Real" doms smile.

Perhaps. But successful profiles don't smile or scowl.

Relevant quote: "Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile"

Please note MY relevant, and bolded, quote above.

Call me silly, but I like when a man looks at the camera and smiles.

Of course, none of that means anything in regards to his ability to be a dominant man. It does, however, go a long way towards showing me he's confidant enough to buck some online article about "sucessful profile pictures" and just be himself.

Bolded for agreement and emphasis. Seriously, anyone who lives life through articles instead of being authentic is of no interest to me.

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

RE: What makes a Dom a Dom? - 12/17/2010 5:46:35 PM

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i think it's the capitol "D". Without that, he's just a measley dom.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 12/17/2010 5:47:23 PM >

(in reply to sexyred1)

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