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RE: Initial contact - 4/30/2006 7:37:03 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I contact subs all the time but I live in a rural area not many subs from this area. I do make my first message freindly, personel and short because making a long detailed message to get no response is frustrating.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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Post #: 41

RE: Initial contact - 4/30/2006 7:37:06 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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Loki Loki Loki........you incorigible boy you.......and did I mention my hair is dark red......and yes, I am evil

(in reply to feastie)

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Post #: 42

RE: Initial contact - 4/30/2006 7:38:18 PM

FootQueen

Posts: 241
Joined: 12/13/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I love being contacted but it usually ends up being some wanker asking for photos of my body, which I refuse to send just so some creep can jerk off to it, or wanting me to tell them what I would "do to them"..........

Yes, doesn't that just irk you when they do that..."tell them what you would do to them" so they can get off. As though we are too stupid to know what they are doing. Some just have no intentions on ever meeting you, they just get off on the online thing. *shrugs*

_____________________________

Don`t engage in a relationship if there is no trust, for without trust there really is no relationship!

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Post #: 43

RE: Initial contact - 4/30/2006 7:54:40 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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I guess that I'm kind of old fashioned in that I like the Dominant to express interest, but it's not a hard and fast rule. I will indeed email a Dominant to give a positive comment on something that I have found in a profile or a post on the boards.

I think sometimes it is difficult for a submissive....or maybe just for women in general to vocalize their interest in that way. I am a very outgoing person but I do tend to be more reserved in that respect. Maybe its just the echo of my parent's voices in my head from long ago...."Girls don't chase boys".

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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Post #: 44

RE: Initial contact - 4/30/2006 8:20:52 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Loki Loki Loki........you incorigible boy you.......and did I mention my hair is dark red......and yes, I am evil

So you will be hand delivering those pics? I promise I will be good (in some relevant sense of the word).
mist… voices in my head from long ago...."Girls don't chase boys". “without scissors”
Smiling
Loki

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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Post #: 45

RE: Initial contact - 4/30/2006 8:24:51 PM

Chiana

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/20/2005
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for the most part i just talk to those Who contact me. on the very few occasions where i made the initial contact there was never a reply so i don't bother anymore.. if they are interested i'll hear from them

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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Post #: 46

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 3:23:30 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
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If someone has written an interesting post on the forums I am inclined to contact them and add them to the "Favorites" list. Quite a few potential subs/slaves
contact Me but most are rather disappointing in their communication abilities.
Thankfully, only a rare few here have been rude enough that I immediately
blocked them. Good conversations make for good friendships and/or good foreplay.

-Vendaval-

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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Post #: 47

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 5:41:04 AM

unquenchable

Posts: 155
Joined: 4/17/2006
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To be honest..

I would wait for the Dom to initially email me. Once that communication has started, I feel much more comfortable in writing to him.

un--------

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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Post #: 48

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 5:47:37 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darq
And I will admit to being one of those submissives who doesn't respond to emails that are obviously pre-written

I'm not being rude here, but why can't a person type an insightful, informative, respectful letter and save it to send as a first contact to anyone he/she wants to show interest in? I see the comments about "form letters" and I am really confused. Not everyone has a lot of time online, and I would rather receive a form letter that gives me a concept of who the person is, rather than receive a "Hi how may I serve you Mistress?" from a stranger.

Can anyone explain why a form letter is so upsetting?

(in reply to darq)

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Post #: 49

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 5:56:18 AM

VampireKitten6

Posts: 44
Joined: 11/11/2005
From: Summerville, SC formerly from NOLA
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its not..sometimes its hard to convey your personality in an email. Sometimes i find it easy to send a form letter and wait for a response. Its hard enough to try to show the potential Dom/Domme what you want to say to them and what to expect from you without them getting all pissed or something cause i sent them a form letter. Although recently because of my schedule i can spend the extra time to type out a responce to them, although a bit ramblely...LOL

(in reply to Calandra)

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Post #: 50

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 6:25:24 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

or pic I will send a mail saying so or welcoming someone to the site. I may be wrong but I anticipate that the sub/slaves will seek he Dom and not vice versa. I am pretty clear on my wants and don’t wants on my profile, and really do think it is the sub/slaves place to contact me to see if we mesh, click, whatever.

So what do you think?

Sounds like a plan that will work for you.

To me, orientation does not dictate actions. There's nothing I "should" do because I'm a slave. There's nothing I "shouldn't" do just because I'm a switch.

But I understand if someone feels "this is how I work" then that's the type of person they should get involved with.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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Post #: 51

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 6:32:01 AM

Calandra

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Joined: 11/22/2004
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I would think that there's only so much that you can come up with in a personal response to each and every person... I wouldn't expect a sub to go out of their way for me until we have some common ground that inspires that.... maybe I'm just weird, but I like efficiency in my sub/slaves and I'm impressed with someone who takes initiative and expresses themselves well - even if they wrote it out in advance... ~shrugs~

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.

(in reply to VampireKitten6)

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Post #: 52

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 6:35:08 AM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
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I have virtually never approached a dominant man on line - they approach me. It doesn't feel right for me to make an approach. It feels assertive. Just as I couldn't bring myself to approach a man in a bar. Also I've never got very far with the few I initiated contact with either, although that may just be bad luck.

(in reply to Calandra)

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Post #: 53

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 6:46:28 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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I've often suggested that it's a good idea to sit down with notepad and write a letter. Think of things you'd love to convey to someone when you first meet them. Think of positive things that they should know about your personality and beliefs. If there are things that you simply cannot accept, find positive, non-aggressive ways to let the person know, so they can judge whether they will be a potential match.

I'm really getting sad at the number of people who judge an email by whether it is a "form letter" rather than whether it has a wealth of information that can help them make an informed choice.

As a submissive woman, I understand your reluctance at contacting someone first, but I can tell you that many quality men on here don't receive the slightest notice because women generally wait to be contacted... I've made some valuable friendships with "Dominant Brothers" by contacting them, and they are often disappointed at the lack of response.

~warm smiles~

(in reply to ClassAct2006)

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Post #: 54

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 7:17:50 AM

Reasonable

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Joined: 4/20/2006
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My form letter is posted in my profile.

If I write and she looks,all of that information is there.

So why on EARTH would I want to send my personal feelings and impressions of someone who interested me,in such a reptilian manner as a form letter?

(in reply to Calandra)

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Post #: 55

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 7:49:46 AM

Calandra

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Joined: 11/22/2004
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I don't know if this makes sense to you, but I see the profile as a "front page" so to speak... open to everyone indiscriminately. The letter I send as my initial mailing is warmer, more personal, and quite frankly, not for everyone to see. I don't often make first contact, since very few of the profiles out there even capture my attention. When someone DOES capture my attention, there is a reason and I mention that in a personal note in the first paragraph of the letter. I've also used it as a follow up on the rare occasion someone contacts me first and can hold my attention. I'm saddened that social skills and manners are slipping so badly that people cannot even hold a simple conversation anymore, so when I do find someone intelligent, witty, and thoughtful, I want to share more of who I am.

I guarantee you, My "form letter" is anything but reptilian...

Lady Kathryn
Athens Ga.

(in reply to Reasonable)

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Post #: 56

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 7:52:22 AM

Reasonable

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Joined: 4/20/2006
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I have no problem with others doing this.

But I prefer to simply flesh these things out in subsequent conversations. I can be very pendantic at times-so I do this as a method for not coming across as someone so rigid, that he cannot even percive who another person is.

(in reply to Calandra)

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Post #: 57

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 8:09:11 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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I understand that completely... I think maybe it will help to add this thought...

I am, at heart a very warm person. I'm also an emotional creature who gives a little too much sometimes, and then other times I hold back a little too much... I tend to be percieved by the "mood" I am in rather than by the whole person I am...

I originally wrote my "form" letter for a reason... I chose a beautiful day, when I was relaxed, positive, and willing to allow someone to know me. I thought hard about what I want people to know about me and in what stages... I also thought about what I'd like to know about someone new... Not a "list of demands" because I cannot perceive commanding someone after only one or two emails (sorry boys - LOL). I also placed key phrases and clues into my letter, hoping that "the right one" would find the bread crumbs and follow them into deeper discussions...

If you read half of my posts on this very forum, you'd suspect that I am warm and supportive... more of a maternal and nurturing personality - which really throws people for a loop when they see me in some of the scenes I do. ~wicked smile~ I want someone who wants to know everything about me and still wants to kneel at my feet. I'm not the type who is willing to settle. I want someone who inspires me to be a better person because they deserve the best. The LAST thing I want to do is waste time chatting with people who aren't serious while someone who is serious gets overlooked. I've found that when people read my letter we communicate much more efficiently and effectively - whether we are destined to be friends, life partners, or nothing but strangers afterwards.

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.

(in reply to Reasonable)

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Post #: 58

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 8:18:32 AM

Reasonable

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I can see where that would help-but with my intent and proclivities,I don't expect to get a lot of mail,or need such a thing.

(in reply to Calandra)

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Post #: 59

RE: Initial contact - 5/1/2006 8:47:50 AM

MrrPete

Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

I think part of it is just supply and demand. There seems to be quite a supply of submissives. Even at munches that I attend, I often see single subs there, but rarely do I see single Dominants. That which is in demand is going to be sought after by the supply of masses that demand it. Dominants rarely need to message subs because they're so busy replying to (accepting & declining) all the incoming requests.

I think I need to move to your location. I rarely get a first contact and I rarely get a reply when I initiate contact.
[originally from Wheeling raised in Cleveland]

Mr. Pete

available and looking

(in reply to Proprietrix)

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