sexyred1
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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Killerangel
quote:
ORIGINAL: Wickad
(fast reply)
Greetings Everyone,
At one point I had been lamenting about how I was having a hard time finding a 'decent' submissive guy. A bright friend of mine took the time to fill me in and I think it is pertinent to this discussion.
He told me that men are goal orientated and have a hard time thinking outside of specific, pre-defined boxes.
Yes! They are and most have the little boxes thing going on.
quote:
In this particular case this means that the OP's train of thought might have gone something like:
I"m looking for a woman who is interested in me, but I'm a twisted kinky soul --> this means I have to find a twisted, kinky woman --> those women are Mistress --> how do I find a compatible one who will like the things I like? --> well, if I put out there what I like, then the ones that are like me will contact me --> ergo, I will write my profile to tell them what I like.
This type of thinking does not mean that folks like the OP are not interested in what we, Dominant women, want or like, but rather that this is there way of telling us what they have to offer and who they are. If you think about it, it's the same reason that new guys put up picks of their dicks -->they are looking for sex and they like naked women, thus women looking for sex must like naked male bits. It seems no one has ever explained to these guys (the OP and others) that they have to pitch to their target audience - women.
Why does it have to be explained to men that they should be courteous and polite? You've hit the nail on the head here with explaining why the laundry lists and dick pictures occur, but come on, we all learn at a young age that we can't go around expecting instant gratification and that we can't use tunnel vision in pursuit of our goals. We're talking about grown, adult, men...not children. Have these men ever waited in a line at the grocery store? So, they've been hungry and figured out in order to eat they have to go through the routine we know as selecting and paying for groceries, as opposed to ripping open packages whenever they feel hunger.
Have they ever been to a party at a friend's house and saw a cute girl that they'd like to get to know better? Did they drop their pants at that point and hope she'd be amazed at what was displayed there and proceed to boink them? I'm sure sometimes it might work but most times...no, it won't.
So these manly problem-solving skills and the tendency to think in boxes is used to successfully navigate life at times, but not at other times like trying to meet women on a site like this. If you are a woman on this site how flattering is that? Are women on an adult site worth less time and energy than other life skills? I don't think that personally but that is how it comes across when a man posts penis pictures and propositions a woman straight away because she happens to be in a place that 'he' associates with easy sex. A couple more seconds of thinking would probably produce a more mannerly approach and a lot of guys don't do that, it's fair in those cases for him to be called on it and shown that women anywhere on any site don't generally want to be interchangeable puzzle pieces that are not even given an extra seconds worth of thought.
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So, it seems to me that the OP, is just new and ignorant. He doesn't seem to yet understand that this is our little fiefdom and here the rules are different than in the 'real world'.
New and ignorant to the site perhaps but not to life. If a guy wants pussy then he should figure out a way to get it. That includes wondering what his target audience would respond to and setting out to do it. This site is not 'our' little fiefdom of pussy, it's just a web site. In general the women here are not asking for anything out of the ordinary, just common courtesy and to be recognized as a unique individual human being with a personality. The women here are not some secret group and certainly not a fiefdom unless i missed that memo. There are no general rules here that are different from the real world, that's the entire point! That is why it's mystifying when a guy comes on here blundering around and doing things he wouldn't do out in general society.
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Here, the best way to get a response is to pitch to your target audience. This means that profiles, emails, and posts should be aimed at the women he is writing to (or who are possibly viewing them) and not to a pre-specified generic Dominant woman (you'll note how in this description 'woman' comes last). Women are constantly hit on (real life or online) and can get laid almost anytime and anywhere. What we don't get enough of is people who are interested in us as people and folks who respect us for all of our many facets.
This has been my experience and the things I try to remember when am confronted with entitled, ignorant men who can't seem to figure out what they are doing wrong. Of course, not everyone sees things the way I do - lol.
Wickad (who is very tired and done rambling - g'night)
In general, I agree that men think differently than women do. This is at the heart of some long-standing difficulties that men and women have. For me, if a man would only think and act like a women I'd have an easier time, but alas they don't. So when i have something to tell a man that I'm with that is important I'll actually spend the time to figure out the best way to do it which generally entails keeping it short and sweet and to the point. If I do 'my' thing it gets emotional and long-winded and men tend to tune out. It's in my best interest to figure out an approach that will work.
Once again, if a guy wants pussy he should spend a little time finding out how to get it. There's really no getting around the fact that he should invest a little time for good results. There are general societal rules for approaching people, he should use them or suffer the consequences, which is no pussy. Men do think differently overall but it's not like they have a handicap, they're entirely capable of putting forth some effort in their attempts to get a woman and I for one want to see that I'm worth some effort beyond a list of what I can do to fulfill someone's fantasies.
This whole post above. I am SO over the endless stream of threads by either submissive or dominant men who just whine, whine, whine about what they want.
Aren't the profiles up for that reason and more to the point, the journals attached?
Why, why, why do grown men have to be lectured by Dommes or subs on how they need to approach women?
It boggles the mind and it also continues to show the differences between the way men and women think.
If you are any type of adult with any cognitive ability and you have ever had any dealings with the opposite sex, it really is not that difficult to discern the correct type of behavior when attempting to meet people.
This is getting so boring already. Whenever I see a thread about Are there any REAL fill in the blank_________, I know I should not click on it. But I do and then I see the never ending patient replies to these men about what women want and how the men should learn a different approach.
But it never works, does it? There are always more waiting in line to write an introduction and whine.
Where are the hot threads? I miss them. 
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