RE: are there any real femdoms?

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OttersSwim -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (3/8/2011 8:29:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: naughtynick81 Blah blah blah the same old bigoted crap. When ever the penis claims that it has fantasies that wants fulfilled, 99 percent of the time it's deemed in a negative light as for he just wants a woman to cater for him, he just wants a woman to do things for him, he just wants easy sex. Bad bad chauvinist male. It just can't be that a man is entitled to have standards in choosing what type of woman he wants. After all, no woman will do the things he seeks unless she likes it too. So with this in the picture, its “give and take” as both parties are enjoying the scenarios. It's as ridiculous as saying just because a man likes vanilla sex, it’s somehow a one sided perspective that he as a chauvinist male simply wants a woman to cater for him in a one sided scenario. Umm hello? Don't women seek sex too? So that means she only wants a one sided deal too instead of seeking a man who equally wants the scene to take place. She is just a chauvinist too? It never ceases to amaze me to see how much bias is against a submissive male for having fantasies. This forum cracks me up all the time. The bigotry is rife. If a submissive woman claims that she has fantasies wanting to be fulfilled , these types of ridiculous accusations hardly gets mentioned as the argument will switch to… "she is a woman living in 2011, she has the right to choose what she wants out of men" But it seems that a man’s freedom to have standards in choosing a potential partner is more limited as there are more negative accusations thrown at his gender for simply having standards. [image]local://upfiles/667175/EBC8881FCA7849B0883AF5E711F070C8.jpg[/image]

BBWinTucson -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (3/8/2011 12:51:56 PM)
lol Well, I suppose there has to be I mean, I am usually assertive, if it must be called that, sexually. Not interested in exploring a man anally, though, as I prefer straight men who don't need a pseudo-cock up their backside to be happy with being with a woman. My sister is actively aggressive, usually, and, probably would do something like that, even. But, you know, the problem is that so many men think dominance in females is all about sex or hatred, and, those men bore us to tears. For me, I want a man who can also be assertive, his own self, from time to time and it has to be about love. She's more open to other things,but, she still doesn't want just sex. That's boring. So .. yes, there are women out there who have some of what you ask for, so, there must be others who come close, besides

DommeKeliDallas -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (3/24/2011 1:21:25 PM)
Thank you! VERY WELL PUT! THANKS!!! This is EXACTLY how most of the men who reply to me feel...like I am a supermarket. MOST Dommes...pro or otherwise... don't indulger EVERY perversion...er...uh..."fantasy." quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: spankeree My fantasy is to be with a genuine regular woman, we have a normal relationship in every way but she is dominant and assertive in the bedroom. This is your fantasy, now you gotta find a woman who has the same fantasy and that could be a problem, because dominance and assertiveness is not a light switch that works only in the bedroom and outside of it she'll fix your dinner in time... In other words, "I want a regular girlfriend who additionally fulfills ALL my sexual fantasies the way I want them to fulfilled, she should act dominant in the bedroom when it suits me!" That's how it can also be read. quote: It seems most women who will participate in something like that do it for other motivations other than for sexual pleasure - for money or tributes, or because they hate men, or because they are sadistic and use a man for those reasons, or are just acting in a porn film. I know these are generalisations and i don't mean to offend anyone who doesn't fall into these categories. If you don't mean to offend, then why offend? So anybody who's not behaving like your exact fantasy must have other motivations, that is quite offensive! quote: I would love a girl who was kind and gentle and loving but who took the lead - told me to get on my knees, go down on her, wank off as she stood over me fully clothed, spanked me, told me to worship her feet, legs, ass etc etc. she would ride my face, sit on my face, explore my limits with anal play etc etc You want somebody who's submissive enough to play the dominant for you when it suits you or when you're horny. quote: I'm not into pain or serious humiliation or being shouted at or spit on or blackmailed etc etc. It's fine to have limits, we all have them! quote: I'd be interested to know if there are any other men who feel the same and what women on here think??? I'm not a guy but I imagine quite a few guys would love that as a fantasy, most seem to be realistic enough to realize that women don't come with that button and will be dominant on demand. As a woman, the way you phrase it and it's all about what you want and what she should do to you for your pleasure. I would feel like somebody is using me as porn fantasy if somebody put it to me like you did here. There's nothing wrong with people trying to please each other in a relationship, but the way you described it it's all about pleasing you, I wouldn't be interested in a relationship where it's all about the other person, that's just me but maybe you'll be lucky and find somebody who'll bend over backwards to please you and pretends to be dominant when it suits you.... ETA: Saw your other post in Introductions: quote: I'm a genuine guy living in London, I love to have a naughty girl dress up for me and then go over my knee for a mild playful spanking. I'm not into extreme stuff such as pain and dungeons etc. I'd also like to explore my submissive side, if you are a hot beautiful woman, i'll kneel for you and worship your feet and legs and ass if you tease and taunt me and maybe force me to masturbate or strip as you spank me............ Get in touch and let's start talking. Please do not contact me if you are a fake, a spammer, a professional or looking for tributes...... You SHOULD look for a professional since you come with a list she should do and how she should look, since it's all about you, only fair if she gets compensated, or is there anything you can offer apart from giving her the pleasure to be allowed to fulfill your kinks. Maybe you want to try ALT, CM isn't quite the kinky self-service supermarket for guys who don't have anything to offer and only expect! Regarding your profile: quote: I've started to get interested in dominant women, i'd really like to explore this side of my sexuality, i like assertive dominant women who know what they want. I like stockings, CFNM, CMNF, spanking, facesitting, masturbation, mild humiliation, teasing, denial - short term only! Domiant women DO know what they want, which usually doesn't include the kink of asking you "And how may I dominate you today, Sir?"

SnowRanger -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (3/24/2011 5:56:57 PM)
YES SPANKEREE, There are real Femdoms! They exist as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist (OH! don't forget submission). Alas! how dreary the would the world be if there were no Femdoms. It would be as dreary as if there were no Spankerees. Well, SOMEONE had to do it. Hello A/all, Spankeree had taken something of a beating for mentioning his hopes, dreams and fantasies apropos of a female dominant relationship and some of the things that that would include. I am not going to call him a chauvinist, or a "Do me Sub" or even a... wanker!!!! However, I would take him to task for unloading his shopping list of fantasies and kinks... For a different reason. Spankeree, Dag-Nab-It, you're asking about 'Real Femdoms' and then you go into your fantasies. Which do you really want, fantasy or reality? I am going to take you at face value and side with real. Real Femdoms have a rather unique way of viewing Female Dominant relationships. They seem to believe that because THEY ARE DOMINANT and we are submissive, that we should satisfy THEIR needs, kinks and fantasies! Once you get used to the idea, it's really cool! A "Real Femdom" might want you to scrub the bathroom floor, or fantasize about you cooking dinner. (HINT: You don't need a safe word to do the dishes.) As the dominant, her desires are EXPECTATIONS Unless asked, keep your kinks and fantasies to yourself. If you're lucky the two of you will share a few of them. Remember, she INDULGES yours. Be thankful to her. I can't say it enough: You want a "Real Femdom!" Good Luck Brother! If I can do it you can too. Trust me, "real" beats fantasy every time. Mike SnowRanger

strangedesire -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (3/24/2011 6:55:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas This is EXACTLY how most of the men who reply to me feel...like I am a supermarket. MOST Dommes...pro or otherwise... don't indulger EVERY perversion...er...uh..."fantasy." At the same time, if someone comes into my store, I don't get angry just because they ask for a product that I don't sell.

blake077 -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/14/2011 12:32:49 PM)
I know how you feel. It took me a while but I did find a real life femdom, read my profile. This is not a role that she plays, it is the way she lives. It is truly wonderful to be under the power and control of a beautiful woman who is superior to me.

SnowRanger -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/14/2011 12:49:34 PM)
I have no comment here... I just wanted to jump on this one before Theta lock THIS one too!

Ariane23 -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/16/2011 2:14:13 AM)
quote: This is your fantasy, now you gotta find a woman who has the same fantasy and that could be a problem, because dominance and assertiveness is not a light switch that works only in the bedroom and outside of it she'll fix your dinner in time... In other words, "I want a regular girlfriend who additionally fulfills ALL my sexual fantasies the way I want them to fulfilled, she should act dominant in the bedroom when it suits me!" That's how it can also be read. Sounds like my last ex-husband. quote: You want somebody who's submissive enough to play the dominant for you when it suits you or when you're horny. I'd be interested to know if there are any other men who feel the same and what women on here think??? I'm not a guy but I imagine quite a few guys would love that as a fantasy, most seem to be realistic enough to realize that women don't come with that button and will be dominant on demand. As a woman, the way you phrase it and it's all about what you want and what she should do to you for your pleasure. I would feel like somebody is using me as porn fantasy if somebody put it to me like you did here. Domiant women DO know what they want, which usually doesn't include the kink of asking you "And how may I dominate you today, Sir?" You've just summarised the appproach of 80% of subs who have written to me on various forums, and why there is so much rejection. I haven't written on the forums here much, but I've been on the site a long time. I've met a few worthwhile people. But the fakes and fantasists don't seem to get why they don't get a positive response. Yes there are real FemDommes on here. We're wading through the dross. If you recognise yourself in the above, you're dross.

tonyfordz -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/19/2011 9:44:26 AM)
Dude, honestly you just need to fill out as many of the interests as possible when searching for someone & find someone who has as many of the same interests as you do. I have been on this site off & on now for a little over 8 1/2 years going on 9 & its not easy to find your exact match & may even be impossible to some degree. You should seek out a switch if all you want is someone to dom in the bedroom who prefers to dom in the bedroom. I personally dont want it just in the bedroom, but everyone is different. As for the ladies that took offense to his post sounds more like a personal problem to me & if you take it personal that's on you not him as he is only trying to post his thoughts & everyone knows that opinions are like assholes we all have one & have the rights to express them. Give him credit for having the balls to speak up & not dance around what he needed to say...

VideoAdminTheta -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/19/2011 9:47:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SnowRanger I have no comment here... I just wanted to jump on this one before Theta lock THIS one too! I may have to keep an eye on you! [;)]

OttersSwim -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/19/2011 9:50:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VideoAdminTheta quote: ORIGINAL: SnowRanger I have no comment here... I just wanted to jump on this one before Theta lock THIS one too! I may have to keep an eye on you! [;)] He says that to all the Mods... [;)]

SnowRanger -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/19/2011 12:36:06 PM)
LOL! Well, not All the moderators.

LadyConstanze -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/19/2011 2:59:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tonyfordz Dude, honestly you just need to fill out as many of the interests as possible when searching for someone & find someone who has as many of the same interests as you do. I have been on this site off & on now for a little over 8 1/2 years going on 9 & its not easy to find your exact match & may even be impossible to some degree. You should seek out a switch if all you want is someone to dom in the bedroom who prefers to dom in the bedroom. I personally dont want it just in the bedroom, but everyone is different. As for the ladies that took offense to his post sounds more like a personal problem to me & if you take it personal that's on you not him as he is only trying to post his thoughts & everyone knows that opinions are like assholes we all have one & have the rights to express them. Give him credit for having the balls to speak up & not dance around what he needed to say... Well, yeah but I guess I appreciate that approach as much as most women appreciate a guy walking up to them and grunt "Wanna fuck, I'm horny", sorry but not all of us are inflatable and just eager to please a random bloke. You have to admit that if we are not all into the way he likes to be dommed and when he likes to be dommed or switch on command, we're not "real", he makes it kinda personal so if we take it personal, we're at fault?

SnowRanger -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/19/2011 4:23:11 PM)
Welcome Aboard TonyFordZ! I don't really agree with what you say about about the Ladies here on Ask-A-Mistress. What I am offering here is an explanation of the reactions that some of these Women have posted on this and other threads. First let's look at us guys When I first found CM, I was astounded. Let me re-phase that, I WAS ASTOUNDED! I felt so alone out there! Here on CM were people who shared interests similar to, and in the case of the Mistress complimentary to, mine. I could put out a profile. I could search the profiles of others and respond to the profiles of Women that piqued my interest. Then it got even better! I found the bulletin boards and Ask-A-Mistress. I could ask questions about my fears, concerns and, occasionaly, my kinks. Best of all, Women would respond to my queries! I have received responses from the gracious and sensitive ("Suck it up and take it subbie boy!"); to requests for clarification ("Just what the fuck are you talking about?"); to the rather harsh ("You pathetic wanker!"). I doubt that there are many men who would not agree with at least part of what I said above. We guys have an additional problem. Many of us are not terribly verbal; nor are we practiced in letters. Women are VERY good at both. Keep this point in mind. I'll revisit it later. Another problem here is that this site is highly sexually charged. Some Women use a primary profile photo of their feet to attract foot fetishists. Other Women use a photo of their cleavage, or legs, or... well, you get the idea. For this reason many guys forget that they still need to politely ask for a FIRST DATE. They seem to think that they are already in the middle of that all important THIRD DATE. Keep this point in mind. I'll revisit it later. SIDE NOTE: Guys, do not use a "cock shot" as your profile photo; or send one, unsolicited, to a Woman. A photo of your ass is an equally poor choice. Save those kinds of photos for your second one if you put one on at all. So finally, after all of that, we get to the Women here on Ask-A-Mistress and their side of the issue. The Ladies are subjected to an avalanche of responses to their profiles(hey! I style myself as SnowRanger. I have to use the word avalanche in a sentence once a day.). The bulk of these responses are from men who are un-praticed in letters and convinced that they are already in the middle of the third date. See, I DID revisit those points! To top it all off the Women here are often confronted with a photo of a guys cock or ass. No amount of enthusiam or sincerity can over come those faux pas (can you pluralize that?). Further, unless the guy says some thing like "Great pedicure!;" or "I love the bead work on the bodice of your top!;" or "Those shoes really flatter your legs!;" or... well you get the idea; The poor Woman has no idea why he's messaged her AT ALL! These complaints are near universal. This can't be the personal problem of any particular Woman. Then the Ladies get to the bulletin boards... And... It gets worse.... The guy, poor in written communications and thrilled that he isn't alone in the world, posts a question on an open forum. He lists his kinks to establish that he really is submissive. She see wank fodder. He asks if his kink is seen as stupid or disgusting. She sees wank fodder. He asks for insights into why he finds something so satisfying. She sees wank fodder. Her eyes roll and she responds with, "You pathetic wanker!" My eyes roll too because I know what is to follow most guys posts. Tons of "You pathetic wanker!" messages. Respectfully, Mike

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/19/2011 5:00:33 PM)
QFT and I'm a submissive female.

Ariane23 -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/20/2011 1:24:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SnowRanger To top it all off the Women here are often confronted with a photo of a guys cock or ass. No amount of enthusiam or sincerity can over come those faux pas (can you pluralize that?). You have to realise that your photo is meant to give an impression of who you are. So, if a guy is telling me he's a cock, or he's an ass, I am naturally going to bypass him for someone who shows me a person with something above the neck. ;) Enjoying your sarcasm. ;)

herpet1313 -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/20/2011 10:31:03 AM)
Well stated Snow Ranger! Too many new submissives questions are too often dismissed by the regulars here as simple wank fodder. Maybe this problem of "wankers" (and yes, there are some) can be easily solved by our moderators by allowing newbies to join the site, but not allow them to post or reply to posts, until spending x number of hours, on-site, reading and making observations. (Is this possible?) This would enable newbies to get a handle on what this site is all about before making fools of themselves with stupid or redundant questions. Might weed out the wankers as well. Just a thought.

SurrenderForMe -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/20/2011 10:49:42 AM)
To the op, your goal sounds reasonable to me. You're a sub looking for a non sadistic dominant. Your issue with finding the same interests with a woman from here, and probably any site, is the same one everyone has, slogging through the endless list of people who have different goals than you do. It takes effort and clear communication of exactly what you need. But first, is the effort to find that person. Good luck To the thread that seems to have hijacked this post, I'm an experienced dominant. I'm not offended when someone asks something that doesn't appeal to me. I roll my eyes and move onto another post. The message boards are supposed to be the place where anyone with any range of experience can go to discuss, question and learn. So, while people sometimes post what seem stupid questions/answers to some or even all, they should be allowed to ask those questions or post their answers. If the text you read doesn't appeal to you, ignore it. If it is offensive, block any posts from that person. If it breaks all rules of decency, or whatever, report it. I see this area as the safe zone for being accepted and encouraged to learn and explore.

tonyfordz -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/20/2011 2:13:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: tonyfordz Dude, honestly you just need to fill out as many of the interests as possible when searching for someone & find someone who has as many of the same interests as you do. I have been on this site off & on now for a little over 8 1/2 years going on 9 & its not easy to find your exact match & may even be impossible to some degree. You should seek out a switch if all you want is someone to dom in the bedroom who prefers to dom in the bedroom. I personally dont want it just in the bedroom, but everyone is different. As for the ladies that took offense to his post sounds more like a personal problem to me & if you take it personal that's on you not him as he is only trying to post his thoughts & everyone knows that opinions are like assholes we all have one & have the rights to express them. Give him credit for having the balls to speak up & not dance around what he needed to say... Well, yeah but I guess I appreciate that approach as much as most women appreciate a guy walking up to them and grunt "Wanna fuck, I'm horny", sorry but not all of us are inflatable and just eager to please a random bloke. You have to admit that if we are not all into the way he likes to be dommed and when he likes to be dommed or switch on command, we're not "real", he makes it kinda personal so if we take it personal, we're at fault? I do agree with you its not right to say someone is fake just because they dont jump to your every whim, I was just saying that I didn't think he meant to come across as offensive. I think a lot of us are guilty of being misunderstood, God knows I dont always word my feelings or ideas the way I mean for them to be taken. As for the "Wanna Fuck" comment its a shame that people aren't a little more honest with whats on their mind though that would be rather inappropriate to walk up & say to a lady. I most times try to avoiding getting involved in posts such as this one to avoid the drama because someone is always going to feel like they are being targeted or disrespected. If I offended you I am man enough to say that I am sorry, it wasn't my intent. If I wasn't sorry I wouldn't say so as I am very honest & forward in my feelings & ideas though as a rule I try not to hurt anyone's feelings or offend them in the process unless of course they cant grasp whats being said. ...

LadyPact -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (4/20/2011 5:41:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SurrenderForMe To the thread that seems to have hijacked this post, I'm an experienced dominant. I'm not offended when someone asks something that doesn't appeal to me. I roll my eyes and move onto another post. The message boards are supposed to be the place where anyone with any range of experience can go to discuss, question and learn. So, while people sometimes post what seem stupid questions/answers to some or even all, they should be allowed to ask those questions or post their answers. If the text you read doesn't appeal to you, ignore it. If it is offensive, block any posts from that person. If it breaks all rules of decency, or whatever, report it. I see this area as the safe zone for being accepted and encouraged to learn and explore. Why? I have never once seen this place referred to as a safe zone. It's not promoted or advertised as one anywhere, as far as I know. Your method of commenting on posts is entirely up to you. At the same time, everyone has that right. They get to answer in any way that they wish and no one's opinion on how folks may do so is greater than that which belongs to anyone else. (With the exception of the Mods, of course.) Heck, I find it funny that people are climbing on a three month old thread just to complain about the way other people have answered it, but that's just Me.

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