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-=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/16/2011 2:15:30 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		At a BDSM event, in the morning, a couple on their first date sits at the breakfast table. The buffet is splendid and both look rather chipper after last night’s activities. The dominant puts on an approving expression and prepares to dispense a healthy dose of “good girl” reinforcement. He thanks the submissive for doing a good job handling the humiliation session the night before. The submissive looks puzzled . . . and asks the dominant what he is talking about? He explains that leading her around on all fours at the end of a leash in public was a great humiliation session. With a dumbfounded look, the submissive explains they weren’t humiliated but quite the opposite. They felt proud to publicly display they were under the control of the dominant and were a worthy subject. They felt more like a precious possession than a humiliated slut.

In this case, both were happy in their own ignorance and it wasn’t until the morning after that they realized their differences. Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss.

The same act can evoke completely different reactions depending on the participants and their level of communication. Trying to humiliate an exhibitionist by stripping them in public may not get you the reaction you are looking for. Yet, under the right circumstance, with good communication, that same exhibitionist can be told they are being stripped as punishment, that they aren’t worthy of the clothes you provided and you are going to expose their naked flaws for all to see. On the other hand, you can take a bashful girl and explain you are proud to own her and going to strip her for all to see the same beauty you see in your property.

There is some degree of miscommunication in almost everyone’s life (and on these forums) and I thought this might make a worthy post. It doesn’t often end in mutual bliss like our couple at the BDSM event. I feel compassion for those who’s lives are affected by miscommunication and thought this post might inspire you to share some of your own stories.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/16/2011 3:08:16 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks RS.  This post reminds me why I stay on CM--it's for gems like this!

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/16/2011 7:34:39 PM   
ImaginativeWhims


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you RS.


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I am inflexible in my needs, reasonably flexible in my wants and stand absolutely firm on my dynamic. -FT

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/16/2011 9:17:12 PM   
Docere


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/28/2011
Status: offline 		You are correct, it is a very worthy post and a point well worth mentioning.

What we see is not always what we believe it to be and what we hear is not always what was meant.  It's important to pause, step back and think before simply reacting and in this we can avoid misunderstandings and the frustrations that follow.

I wish I had a story to share with you but I would only end up torturing you in the attempt.  I will raise my voice with yours though and encourage others to chime in.


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A person's character is defined by the words they choose, a person's life is defined by the things they choose to believe. Choose well.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/16/2011 9:36:40 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		How simple yet so true. 

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 1:46:31 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Kalon, it's good to see you posting and I appreciated the story.

I don't have a story to share at the moment.  Instead, I'll just share My thoughts.  The above is exactly why I don't like to give suggestions on the 'how do I punish' and 'how do I humiliate' threads.  I can toss out as many suggestions as the day is long, but that doesn't mean that the person someone is dealing with is going to feel punished or humiliated.  Why anyone ever feels that strangers on the internet will know how a person will respond better than the person they are in the dynamic with is beyond Me.

Maybe ignorance is bliss at times.  I'd rather see stories like the above as opportunities.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 1:52:23 AM   
gungadin09


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
In this case, both were happy in their own ignorance and it wasn’t until the morning after that they realized their differences. Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss.

The same act can evoke completely different reactions depending on the participants and their level of communication.


i'm not sure how to answer this question. First i wanted to say that ignorance isn't bliss, it's just...ignorance. But in the past i've displayed levels of idealism and naivety that probably bordered on ignorance. And yes, it was bliss. Reality is a such a bitch. Don't really want to share a story, though.

pam

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 4:06:10 AM   
DocksideWhore


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/17/2011
Status: offline 		I agree with Pam.  Both were ignorant and hadn't taken the time to get to know how their minds work.  Sad really.  Personally I wouldn't sub for anyone that didn't have an idea of how such an act would affect me.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 4:07:40 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		it isnt that ACT that is the point Dock.. it's the perspective.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 4:37:31 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I feel compassion for those who’s lives are affected by miscommunication and thought this post might inspire you to share some of your own stories.

Dear Inamorato: bdsm is indeed a Commedia  dell’Arte . Often where ignorance is bliss ‘tis folly to be wise. Pierrette.


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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 7:07:51 AM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Kalon, it's good to see you posting and I appreciated the story.

I don't have a story to share at the moment.  Instead, I'll just share My thoughts.  The above is exactly why I don't like to give suggestions on the 'how do I punish' and 'how do I humiliate' threads.  I can toss out as many suggestions as the day is long, but that doesn't mean that the person someone is dealing with is going to feel punished or humiliated.  Why anyone ever feels that strangers on the internet will know how a person will respond better than the person they are in the dynamic with is beyond Me.

Maybe ignorance is bliss at times.  I'd rather see stories like the above as opportunities.


This is an excellent point. Everyone experiences things differently, and without knowing the person even the best dom is going to be shooting in the dark. That said, a few general suggestions from experienced people on the web or elsewhere can be valuable - if the person doesn't have any experience of their own, some simple ideas to get them started can be invaluable.

As to the original topic, my first instinct is to say that those sorts of miscommunication, even when apparently beneficial, leave the relationship with holes which are to be avoided. If you're moving at cross purposes, eventually it is going to catch up with you. A bit of mutual self-deception can make for a wonderful evening, but it makes for a tragic life.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 7:20:44 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

That said, a few general suggestions from experienced people on the web or elsewhere can be valuable - if the person doesn't have any experience of their own, some simple ideas to get them started can be invaluable


in some cases, that well meant advice may act as a template to a newbie... in other words, the newbie may take it as The One Twue Way.. and thereby deprive said newbie of the richness and beauty of their own discoveries.

Like I said. RS's post was about perspective....

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 7:35:15 AM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

That said, a few general suggestions from experienced people on the web or elsewhere can be valuable - if the person doesn't have any experience of their own, some simple ideas to get them started can be invaluable


in some cases, that well meant advice may act as a template to a newbie... in other words, the newbie may take it as The One Twue Way.. and thereby deprive said newbie of the richness and beauty of their own discoveries.

Like I said. RS's post was about perspective....

True enough.

_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 8:32:20 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		This isn’t a When Harry Met Sally Moment. That’s what ‘nilla’s do: fake orgasm over a coffee. Let’s face it: faking orgasms can get the mortgage paid, keeps the kids at school and the bit on the side secret in a hotel room somewhere right?

This is a moment après disclosure, when she confessed her needs and they matched his deepest desires. What happens after the bliss? Fear? Withdrawal? Drop? Reflection? Divorce? The implications of a life changing event? A realisation of honesty? Love? The reconciliation of the violence within his heart that would otherwise be turned outward? The recognition that beauty's not just a mask but a smeared and painful rendition of what Hollywood would have us believe? An exorcism of the demons from a past, moments of regression? A satisfaction, at least, of all that has remained undisclosed?

Not recoiling from acknowledgement of all of that and still moving forward is indeed for the brave.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8OOWcsFj0U



< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 2/17/2011 8:33:46 AM >

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Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
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To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 9:15:57 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Huh?  it's about perspective, Prinny. 



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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 12:28:57 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

This isn't a When Harry Met Sally moment. That’s what ‘nilla’s do: fake orgasm over a coffee.

Speaking of ignorance....what an erroneous generalization there.........hmm

luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 2/17/2011 12:30:23 PM >

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 12:42:22 PM   
Prinsexx


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Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Huh?  it's about perspective, Prinny. 



Two point perspective works better than one.


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Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 12:44:41 PM   
Prinsexx


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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

This isn't a When Harry Met Sally moment. That’s what ‘nilla’s do: fake orgasm over a coffee.

Speaking of ignorance....what an erroneous generalization there.........hmm

luci

I know. Obviously.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 12:49:54 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

This isn't a When Harry Met Sally moment. That’s what ‘nilla’s do: fake orgasm over a coffee.

Speaking of ignorance....what an erroneous generalization there.........hmm

luci

I know. Obviously.



Goodness Prinnie... you know us Brits aren't supposed to have a sense of humour or irony...



Disclaimer... the above statement is obviously an erromeous generalisation.


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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: -=Sometimes ignorance is bliss=- - 2/17/2011 4:02:02 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc


quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

This isn't a When Harry Met Sally moment. That’s what ‘nilla’s do: fake orgasm over a coffee.

Speaking of ignorance....what an erroneous generalization there.........hmm

luci

I know. Obviously.



Goodness Prinnie... you know us Brits aren't supposed to have a sense of humour or irony...



Disclaimer... the above statement is obviously an erromeous generalisation.


Now you know me: did I ever say anything with my tongue other than where it should be?
Edited to add: I though When Harry Met Sally was a film? Oh you mean she real really was cumming over coffee?


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 2/17/2011 4:04:02 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 20
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