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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/22/2011 8:47:41 AM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

Wow!! So all better now then hey?

I agree what others have said. Seek psychological help to sort yourself. It doesn't mean that you are less of a person. (OR if it makes you think better of it to live in drama ~yes it means you are incompetent)

Thank you for your advice and thanks for visiting my thread. Take care now.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/22/2011 9:01:55 AM

subbykat

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Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Also, I'm not really suicidal, but since you are so intuitive, you already knew that. I occasionally indulge in suicidal thoughts. It's part of the self-pity routine I get into. Another one of my bad habits. But that doesn't mean I'm going to commit suicide. I love life 90% of the time. :)

Here is another one of your really bad habits, over dramatizing your emotional states to get a rise out of people on forums....

If anything this last post of yours just reinforces my prior opinion. you should seek professional help

Sorry it got a rise out of you... I was very down when I posted it. Thanks for sharing your opinions.
If anyone else wants to share their experiences, please do.

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/22/2011 9:11:30 AM >

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/22/2011 9:42:33 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Hello Again Kat

No, it did not get a rise out of me... I said that it appeared you posted the suicide stuff to get a rise out of people on the internet. My response to you was in relation to your OP, which said you were self destructive, suicidal, and you're equating this with being a submissive as if your relationship orientation has anything to do with self destructiveness. May I suggest you read your OP again since you are feeling a bit more emotionally sturdy. Either you trend toward being self destructive, or you say those things to get attention. I do not personally care which it is, but for your own sake I hope you figure it out.

And yes, an attitude of gratitude toward those who offered heartfelt advice is a step in the right direction. It is hard to be down when you are busy finding things to be grateful for (and I know this from my own personal experience).

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 63

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/22/2011 9:52:28 AM

subbykat

Posts: 115
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Hello Again Kat

No, it did not get a rise out of me... I said that it appeared you posted the suicide stuff to get a rise out of people on the internet. My response to you was in relation to your OP, which said you were self destructive, suicidal, and you're equating this with being a submissive as if your relationship orientation has anything to do with self destructiveness. May I suggest you read your OP again since you are feeling a bit more emotionally sturdy. Either you trend toward being self destructive, or you say those things to get attention. I do not personally care which it is, but for your own sake I hope you figure it out.

And yes, an attitude of gratitude toward those who offered heartfelt advice is a step in the right direction. It is hard to be down when you are busy finding things to be grateful for (and I know this from my own personal experience).

Actually, I mentioned "suicidal thoughts"...You know that nutty fantasy where you imagine what it would be like if you were dead and how other people feel around you (maybe you never have), but that you wouldn't actually take action to do it? Read Aromanholiday's reply on the previous page. He seems to have my situation nailed to a T.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/22/2011 10:07:44 AM

juliaoceania

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Like I said, hopefully for the last time, I was responding to your OP...

And I will say it again, hopefully for the last time, your submissive nature is not the reason you feel "self destructive" as the title and the place this is posted suggests. I post on threads not only for the person who generates them, but for all those reading them, and this is why these fora exist in the first place. Other self destructive people with suicidal thoughts may come and read this thread. I just want to weigh in and say "Hey, if your feeling screwed up inside and are unhappy it isn't because this is the 'normal' submissive experience".

At the end of the day if people are really unhappy with the way the direction of their life is heading they need to seek change. If being in certain type of relationship, or the way that relationship is structured is making a person have suicidal thoughts and justifying their tendency towards self destructive behaviors, they need to think about whether or not that relationship is really what they need. I am not posting this for your benefit, but for many others that may read this thread.

Peppered through this thread is the idea that being self destructive is a normal byproduct of being submissive. It isn't. Also it isn't necessarily a dominant trait to emotionally blackmail your submissive. These types of relationships exist in the vanilla world just as much as they exist in the realm of D/s... emotional blackmail and self destructiveness are not some new fangled attribute created by people that do what it that we do....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/22/2011 10:12:00 AM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Like I said, hopefully for the last time, I was responding to your OP...

And I will say it again, hopefully for the last time, your submissive nature is not the reason you feel "self destructive" as the title and the place this is posted suggests. I post on threads not only for the person who generates them, but for all those reading them, and this is why these fora exist in the first place. Other self destructive people with suicidal thoughts may come and read this thread. I just want to weigh in and say "Hey, if your feeling screwed up inside and are unhappy it isn't because this is the 'normal' submissive experience".

At the end of the day if people are really unhappy with the way the direction of their life is heading they need to seek change. If being in certain type of relationship, or the way that relationship is structured is making a person have suicidal thoughts and justifying their tendency towards self destructive behaviors, they need to think about whether or not that relationship is really what they need. I am not posting this for your benefit, but for many others that may read this thread.

Peppered through this thread is the idea that being self destructive is a normal byproduct of being submissive. It isn't. Also it isn't necessarily a dominant trait to emotionally blackmail your submissive. These types of relationships exist in the vanilla world just as much as they exist in the realm of D/s... emotional blackmail and self destructiveness are not some new fangled attribute created by people that do what it that we do....

I agree. And I also don't post threads for my benefit only. Actually hearing other people's experiences sometimes helps more than direct advice.

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/22/2011 10:16:51 AM >

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/22/2011 7:41:20 PM

uncertainlyizzy

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I haven't read every single response but my take on it is that it's a thing YOU need to work on. *dons her hypocrisy hat* Those are issues a lot of us have just in general. Usually it's pervasive and just happens to be magnified with certain people or situations more than others. I know I'm currently dealing with it myself. Your relationship (again just from the first post) doesn't seem to be a healthy one to start with and conditional love or affection only makes your self-loathing worse. Living with the knowledge that you're one mistake or misstep away from alienation or abandonment is detrimental even if you're not handling those type of issues to begin with. I live with suicidal ideation a lot of the time so perhaps I'm not so catastrophic about it but I agree vehemently that if you even think it more than twice you need to talk to a professional sooner rather than later. If you have a plan or intent or urge? 911 is the way to go especially if you're new to the feeling. Nothing will get better unless you reach out for help and waiting to reach out only makes things worse.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:06:11 AM

coookie

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uncertainlyizzy thank you for sharing your situation in this thread. With your ideation where does your mind go? Is it more a thought to stop pain or is it revenge on those that would be left living or possibly something else? I am so sorry to hear that you live with this inside your head.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:19:46 AM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: uncertainlyizzy

I haven't read every single response but my take on it is that it's a thing YOU need to work on. *dons her hypocrisy hat* Those are issues a lot of us have just in general. Usually it's pervasive and just happens to be magnified with certain people or situations more than others. I know I'm currently dealing with it myself. Your relationship (again just from the first post) doesn't seem to be a healthy one to start with and conditional love or affection only makes your self-loathing worse. Living with the knowledge that you're one mistake or misstep away from alienation or abandonment is detrimental even if you're not handling those type of issues to begin with. I live with suicidal ideation a lot of the time so perhaps I'm not so catastrophic about it but I agree vehemently that if you even think it more than twice you need to talk to a professional sooner rather than later. If you have a plan or intent or urge? 911 is the way to go especially if you're new to the feeling. Nothing will get better unless you reach out for help and waiting to reach out only makes things worse.

I bet those "professionals" have alienation, abandonment issues and suicidal ideations too. Having a Dr. in front of their name doesn't make them all right up in the head. In fact, did you know that the profession with the highest suicide rate is....

wait for it....

.....

Psychiatrists.

Lol!

I mean, they'll put you on lithium, prozac, celexa, paxil to numb you out...That way, you never even stand a chance of getting wiser...

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:31:33 AM

coookie

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psychiatry and psychology are two different professions subbykat ... even still i would be very interested in seeing your sources for this information you have put up.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:39:53 AM

DesFIP

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Thoughts or plans for suicide qualify as a psychiatric emergency. I suggest you go to the ER and get immediate help. Whether this is situation depression or genetic is unimportant at this point. What is important is getting immediate treatment.

And I also would like to see the research that states that the profession with the highest rate of suicide is psychiatry. Because I don't believe it.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:42:02 AM

ranja

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i thought being a rockstar held the suicide profession top spot

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:45:23 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

I bet those "professionals" have alienation, abandonment issues and suicidal ideations too. Having a Dr. in front of their name doesn't make them all right up in the head. In fact, did you know that the profession with the highest suicide rate is....

wait for it....

.....

Psychiatrists.

Lol!

I mean, they'll put you on lithium, prozac, celexa, paxil to numb you out...That way, you never even stand a chance of getting wiser...

That is great for trying to make a point. Do you care that it is incorrect info?

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:45:25 AM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

i thought being a rockstar held the suicide profession top spot

Lol. It's not really suicide if they OD by accident.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:47:05 AM

subbykat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

I bet those "professionals" have alienation, abandonment issues and suicidal ideations too. Having a Dr. in front of their name doesn't make them all right up in the head. In fact, did you know that the profession with the highest suicide rate is....

wait for it....

.....

Psychiatrists.

Lol!

I mean, they'll put you on lithium, prozac, celexa, paxil to numb you out...That way, you never even stand a chance of getting wiser...

That is great for trying to make a point. Do you care that it is incorrect info?

Incorrect info according to who? You?

You can believe that.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:48:51 AM

LafayetteLady

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You have no chance of getting wiser anyway. You have choosen (and been conditioned) to believe as a sub, your low self esteem is a good thing. What better way for a guy like that to concince you he's great?

Get help or don't it's up to you. But don't go spouting like this is a good thing or a positive characteristic for bottom types. It's one thing to apply such backwards thoughts to your life, but if you try convince others....well it is never good to spread ignorance and stupidity.

Without help, you very well might progress from thoughts to actions. At your funeral, people will lament how you should have gotten help. Your dom, however, won't even show up.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:51:09 AM

subbykat

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Ice cold Lafayette.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 7:53:11 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
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subbykat back up your idea with documented truths and that way the board will accept this unbelievable statistic that you threw out.

"experts on suicide say that statistics on its relation to occupation are not clear. There is no national data set on occupation and suicide. Local studies indicate elevated rates in different occupations, but the data usually "turn out to be frail," says prominent suicide researcher David Clark, PhD."

"Psychologists have long documented that among the top predictors for suicide are diagnosable mental disorder, co-morbid substance use, loss of social support and availability and access to a firearm."

http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan01/suicide.aspx

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 8:18:24 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

quote:

ORIGINAL: uncertainlyizzy

I haven't read every single response but my take on it is that it's a thing YOU need to work on. *dons her hypocrisy hat* Those are issues a lot of us have just in general. Usually it's pervasive and just happens to be magnified with certain people or situations more than others. I know I'm currently dealing with it myself. Your relationship (again just from the first post) doesn't seem to be a healthy one to start with and conditional love or affection only makes your self-loathing worse. Living with the knowledge that you're one mistake or misstep away from alienation or abandonment is detrimental even if you're not handling those type of issues to begin with. I live with suicidal ideation a lot of the time so perhaps I'm not so catastrophic about it but I agree vehemently that if you even think it more than twice you need to talk to a professional sooner rather than later. If you have a plan or intent or urge? 911 is the way to go especially if you're new to the feeling. Nothing will get better unless you reach out for help and waiting to reach out only makes things worse.

I bet those "professionals" have alienation, abandonment issues and suicidal ideations too. Having a Dr. in front of their name doesn't make them all right up in the head. In fact, did you know that the profession with the highest suicide rate is....

wait for it....

.....

Psychiatrists.

Lol!

I mean, they'll put you on lithium, prozac, celexa, paxil to numb you out...That way, you never even stand a chance of getting wiser...

You know what my Master does when he know I am struggling with emotional things, in addition to making certain I feel heard and supported (because he sees that as part of His job)?

We discuss mental health wellness.

He knows that depression is related to brain chemistry and is not some weakness on my part.
He also knows the facts of antidepressants, and no they do not "numb you out".
That you just tossed lithium into the mix (which is used for bipolar disorders) along with that statement shows you have an ignornance about them.
Ignorance is not a perjorative btw, it just means not knowing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Hers cause her to feel suicidal...(other thread) and not every sub has self-esteem issues.

Oh no!! I fantasized about what it would be like if I were dead!! Call 911!!

Did you read the part where I said I love life 90% of the time? Nope. I bet you didn't.

And yes, I did read this.

What you don't seem to understand is that the 10% is still dangerous... and also no, it is not "normal" to feel that way.

You are being very defensive and even hostile towards people who offered the advice that you asked for, who offered their experiences, which you said you'd welcome... .

It seems as though you don't like being told that perhaps the Emperor has no clothes; that the way you are being managed, in fact wouldn't work for most of us.

And if it isn't that, then perhaps you need to look back and remember that this was a thread that you began and people responded out of concern.
Individual responses are as human as original posts.

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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/23/2011 8:22:45 AM

subbykat

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Here's an interesting article for ya'll to read...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200909/why-shrinks-have-problems

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