Feeding people and submission (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 6:57:40 PM)

Cynthia WVA and I have been chatting over cmail and we both said that the beginning of the end in our marriages was when our spouses refused to eat what we cooked. That as people who cook, when we feed people we also are serving them love. And that when they refused to eat what we made, it felt as if our love was being thrown back in our faces.

Could you submit to, or dominate, someone who spurned your cooking? (And yes, we're both quite competent home cooks).



littlewonder -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:02:02 PM)

yes I could. Food is not that big a deal to me. If he didn't want to eat what I made I would just assume he wasn't hungry or didn't like what I made. If he wanted something else I'd make it for him.

Food just isn't a big thing on my list.



NuevaVida -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:06:26 PM)

Fascinating question.  I love to cook, and I feel the same way. Cooking a delicious meal for people I love brings me joy - it's a way of expressing my love for them.  Often times I'm just deliciously happy (ha ha pun intended) to stay in the kitchen while guests are visiting and enjoying the food.

I went out with a man for a few months who was from the South.  He hadn't been exposed to "non-south" cooking (I have no other way of putting it).  He hated my food.  He told me I couldn't cook.  It was insulting.  But then he doused my pasta with ketchup and I realized he just didn't know what good food was. [;)]

We didn't last long, for many compatibility reasons; food being one of them.

The Mister enjoys my cooking but those times he's only "meh" about it, I feel let down.  Mind you, I don't prepare gourmet meals every day, but when I do put a lot of effort into a dinner (and I do so happily, because cooking for him is enjoyable for me) and he says something like "Yeah, this works" I feel disappointed.  He explained to me later that "It works" is, for him, complimentary.  However, he says "This is really good" a lot more often now.

Once I had made dinner for his daughter and him, and he asked her, "Do you think you can get a meal this good in a restaurant?"  She said "Not a chance, because this was made with love."  That girl warms my heart, I tell ya.

So no, if a man spurned my cooking, we would not be compatible.  Food is important in my world.  Cooking and preparing it, even more so.  Spurning my cooking would be on par with spurning my kisses.  But spurning, to me, is to completely reject what the other is offering, and cooking is part of who I am.  So I wouldn't be with a man who rejected me.



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:08:41 PM)

A woman that can't cook is a woman that is useless.

Honestly!



kyraofMists -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:16:56 PM)

Yep; I don't take his personal tastes personally. Whether he likes what I cook or not is about him and not about me.

Knight's Kyra



NuevaVida -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:21:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Yep; I don't take his personal tastes personally. Whether he likes what I cook or not is about him and not about me.

Knight's Kyra


See I can understand this...to a degree, lol.  Then again I recently asked him, "I'm kind of arrogant in the kitchen, aren't I?"  He agreed.  [8D]

If it was a meal here or there that he didn't like, I'd just chalk it up to a dinner gone bad (I've admitted, "This is awful!" before).  But if he constantly spurned my cooking, I don't think we'd have gotten very far.



frazzle -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:24:13 PM)

I stopped seeing someone mainly for that reason.

He has since told me, he thought it was better to say he wasnt hungry, than to say he didnt like what i cooked.

Had he told me what he liked eating, i'd have cooked that.

Ok there were other issues, but if you hate my food, we are not going to get on.



littlewonder -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:27:47 PM)

for me if he said he didn't like my cooking I'd say "ok, let's go out to eat" lol.

Then again I don't really enjoy cooking. Thankfully he does lol.




aromanholiday -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:42:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Could you submit to, or dominate, someone who spurned your cooking? (And yes, we're both quite competent home cooks).



I could and have. His insults were quite creative and amusing, actually, and held no true rancour. :) Then he taught me how to cook (his way) and I eagerly learned it, and it wasn't a problem anymore.



SailingBum -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 7:59:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Cynthia WVA and I have been chatting over cmail and we both said that the beginning of the end in our marriages was when our spouses refused to eat what we cooked. That as people who cook, when we feed people we also are serving them love. And that when they refused to eat what we made, it felt as if our love was being thrown back in our faces.

Could you submit to, or dominate, someone who spurned your cooking? (And yes, we're both quite competent home cooks).



see therein lies the problem... lots of bitches "think" they can cook when actually their food sucks. <My mother happens to be one> Now I'm not saying you are one of them. My current girl is a decent chef it did take me some time to explain to her how I like my food prepared. My ex is a excellent cook. I dont see the correlation between cooking and ending a relationship for me it's a non starter

BadOne



xssve -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 10:34:46 PM)

You'd have to suck pretty bad for me not to eat, although these days I'm more into quality than quantity - Tapas are current fave, I'm big on nosh, I don't burn enough calories these days to justify Three course meals.

If you eat my cooking it would be a near steady diet of Green Chile Stew and Carne Adovada however, which my kids don't eat, the picky bastards, so I'm teaching them how to cook. I don't mind cooking to order, but if you don't know what you want and don't like what I'm eating, I'll probably throw you a TV dinner.



NiceGuyNihilist -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 10:41:43 PM)

When someone else feeds me, I'm as discriminating as a garbage disposal. I guess that's good if you're a bad cook and bad if you're a good one.



xssve -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 10:47:06 PM)

It is frustrating to cook big meal that nobody eats but me, I gave up on it, too much work for ingrates. Fortunately, spaghetti is popular, and not much work.



myotherself -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 11:34:07 PM)

I'm one of those people who eats what they're given without complaint because it feels better to me to compliment someone on their cooking than to disappoint them by saying anything negative. I don't care if they're sub or Dom - I just don't like to upset people who have clearly made an effort.

If someone didn't like my cooking, I'd hope they would give me an idea what it is that they didn't like so that I could cater to their tastes the next time.. I hate people who say "I don't like this" without saying why.



GreedyTop -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/29/2011 11:49:39 PM)

cook.. I have heard this word...



Termyn8or -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/30/2011 12:03:01 AM)

Actually the fact is we KNOW when we are about to get poisoned :-)

T^T



WyldHrt -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/30/2011 4:15:36 AM)

quote:

see therein lies the problem... lots of bitches "think" they can cook when actually their food sucks. <My mother happens to be one>

'Bitches' aside (nice way to refer to women in general and your mother in particular, BTW [8|] ), tastes differ. Someone who prefers delicate sauces will likely not be impressed with chili, no matter how awesome it is; and someone who loves heavily spiced Mexican food may well find an incredible yet subtle seafood with clam sauce to be bland as hell.

As to the OP- my ex wouldn't refuse to eat what I cooked too often, but his most complimentary remark was 'It doesn't suck'. He thought that was high praise. When I asked for suggestions on what to make or how to make dinner more to his liking, I got nothing. He was quite content to simply tell me that I couldn't cook- an opinion that has since become a joke with a male D friend when he is in my kitchen getting 'seconds'.
quote:

Could you submit to, or dominate, someone who spurned your cooking?
I love to cook. While I am more than willing to learn what my partner likes and how he wants it prepared, if my efforts were continually rebuffed it would be a real problem.














Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/30/2011 5:28:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
cook.. I have heard this word...

Wait Wait... I have heard it too... I'll look it up in the Dictionary and explore further. LOL



juliaoceania -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/30/2011 7:25:49 AM)

quote:

Could you submit to, or dominate, someone who spurned your cooking? (And yes, we're both quite competent home cooks).


Never have had this happen. My ex liked my cooking clear up until the end. Never had any boyfriends who turned down my fare either.

If someone did it might hurt my feelings. It would also depend on their dietary tastes, and needs.



tazzygirl -> RE: Feeding people and submission (4/30/2011 7:30:09 AM)

The man is a fantastic cook... I dont always like what he cooks though. Im more of a basic kind of cook.. can make a killer country fried steak, home made biscuits, ect ect. The man likes to get in there and tweak recipes, add spices and heat... which I dont tolerate well, physically.

Personally, the best thing I make for dinner is reservations.



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