RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (Full Version)

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OwnedFemaleFlesh -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 6:51:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...if he's a Dom, she'll naturally respond to him.


And if she doesn't, then she's unnatural? You seem to have this very outdated idea of 'Me Tarzan, you Jane'. Modern interactions between men and women are very different, to say the least.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Most normal, healthy hetero women respond to dominant men.  Period. 


Dominant and equality minded women are NOT abnormal and unhealthy. What a fine example of sexism and bigotry within the BDSM scene! Most women want relationships based on equality these days. BDSM is a subculture involving a minority of people, and M/f relationships are a subset of that subculture involving an even smaller minority of people. You seem to be living in some fantasy world where you are unable to differentiate between the desires of most women, and the minority sexuality of submissive women within BDSM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...you don't "find out" if a woman wants to 'submit to you' by asking.  How fucking lame.


I see, so you are recommending that the OP attempt to dominate women that a) don't identify as submissive and b) without asking for their consent? I think your opinion of women is massively disrespectful and bordering on the immoral. If you don't respect women enough to ask them if they want to submit to you, then are you respectful enough to ask them what their limits are, or any other of the necessary information for a Safe, Sane and Consensual relationship, or is that so 'fucking lame' too?

So many red flags, so little time. Thank god neither me nor my Owner followed any of this advice, cause he'd be in jail, and I'd still be single. To the OP, please, please ignore everything you are being told here, this is just setting you up to be one of those women-hating 'uber Doms' that any sub with a shred of common sense stays well away from. Women are human beings with their own desires and opinions. The best Doms I have met are totally respectful of women, and this leads them to have healthy, satisfying, consensual relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Please do not follow the awful example you are being given here!

owned xxx



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:02:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

but I've found that a sub who always has to be compliant and obedient is merely playing a role; dig deep enough and you unleash a fountain of anger and resentment (towards the dom.)


really? I'm glad that's not our experience.

playing a role? Hardly. In our relationship and my relationship with anyone for that matter, I'm obedient and compliant because I absolutely hate challenges. I absolutely hate chaos or anger or trouble of any kind at all. Anytime there's conflict in my life or even around me I'm the first to look for a hole to duck into so I can disappear.

No anger and resentment here. Instead I thrive on obedience and compliance. The whole idea of not being those just makes me shudder with fear.




Hey, I am obedient and compliant in my relationship with my dom as well. And I THRIVE on confrontation and conflict. He very nicely and politely deflects that right back with a smile. We very rarely argue about anything.

As for my comment above, I was speaking specifically to that particular dynamic, the super duper dom and the sub who is compliant and obedient to everyone, all the time. I have seen the sub's personality become so consumed by the dominant, I fear it will disappear entirely. I have also seen it erupt in uncontrollable anger at the dominant.

But again, just my observations.



Kalista07 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:16:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-)



maybe she is just the better driver. 

Kali



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:21:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-)



maybe she is just the better driver. 

Kali



Maybe the dominant likes to be chauffeured.



LordOdhinn -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:27:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-)



maybe she is just the better driver. 

Kali



Maybe the dominant likes to be chauffeured.



For example YOUR Dominant...



leadership527 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:39:24 AM)

That depends on what you mean by "submissive".

If you're talking "sexually submissive", then there won't be any signs unless you are in a sexual situation.
If you're talking "submits only to one" then unless you're that one, the answer is "no".
If you're talking "generally submissive" then see if generally tends to let you guide the show, she's submissive.

Or, you could just ask.



Kalista07 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:43:27 AM)

edited to a weee bit of hyper-sensitivity

Kali



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:47:43 AM)

It was directed at me, Kali. LO is my dom and I'm his chauffeur (among other things).





Kalista07 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:52:17 AM)

Damns!! Perhaps I need to hurry up and get this divorce over with so I can stop taking everything so personally.

My apologies.

Thanks for the clarification.

Kali



LordOdhinn -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 7:56:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Damns!! Perhaps I need to hurry up and get this divorce over with so I can stop taking everything so personally.

My apologies.

Thanks for the clarification.

Kali



Not a problem! :)  That's what I get for being unclear.



Killerangel -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 8:16:29 AM)

You can look for general personality traits and that will help- to a certain point. Many submissive women like to please or defer to others. Then there are always those people who defy stereotypes. I've heard some men say that they can tell if a female is submissive, and some say that it's very hard to tell. Ah, and one pitfall is to look for personality outside of cultural upbringing and/or having good manners- the cultural and manners things can mask true personality at times especially if you only know someone casually.

Really a relationship is what happens between two people. Look for someone whose personality meshes well with your own, and whose company you enjoy. At least you'll enjoy the ride till you get to the part where you can ask something personal. If you're into each other there's always the chance that she'll be open to exploring things with you.

Outside of taking a chance on every woman you meet, you could look on places like this where people declare openly what their sexual orientation is- it tends to simplify matters but also cuts way down on the pool of available women too.



NiceGuyNihilist -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 8:49:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...if he's a Dom, she'll naturally respond to him.


And if she doesn't, then she's unnatural? You seem to have this very outdated idea of 'Me Tarzan, you Jane'. Modern interactions between men and women are very different, to say the least.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Most normal, healthy hetero women respond to dominant men.  Period. 


Dominant and equality minded women are NOT abnormal and unhealthy. What a fine example of sexism and bigotry within the BDSM scene! Most women want relationships based on equality these days. BDSM is a subculture involving a minority of people, and M/f relationships are a subset of that subculture involving an even smaller minority of people. You seem to be living in some fantasy world where you are unable to differentiate between the desires of most women, and the minority sexuality of submissive women within BDSM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
...you don't "find out" if a woman wants to 'submit to you' by asking.  How fucking lame.


I see, so you are recommending that the OP attempt to dominate women that a) don't identify as submissive and b) without asking for their consent? I think your opinion of women is massively disrespectful and bordering on the immoral. If you don't respect women enough to ask them if they want to submit to you, then are you respectful enough to ask them what their limits are, or any other of the necessary information for a Safe, Sane and Consensual relationship, or is that so 'fucking lame' too?

So many red flags, so little time. Thank god neither me nor my Owner followed any of this advice, cause he'd be in jail, and I'd still be single. To the OP, please, please ignore everything you are being told here, this is just setting you up to be one of those women-hating 'uber Doms' that any sub with a shred of common sense stays well away from. Women are human beings with their own desires and opinions. The best Doms I have met are totally respectful of women, and this leads them to have healthy, satisfying, consensual relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Please do not follow the awful example you are being given here!

owned xxx


Awareness didn't advise the guy to rape her. There are relatively moral ways to test the waters without ever asking a woman whether she might possibly, if it's okay with you sweetie, maybe like to be dominated someday. Would you be turned on by such timidity?



GreedyTop -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 9:08:04 AM)

~FR~

check the bottom of her foot for a tattoo that says USDA Prime Sub. 



OwnedFemaleFlesh -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 9:17:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist
There are relatively moral ways to test the waters without ever asking a woman whether she might possibly, if it's okay with you sweetie, maybe like to be dominated someday. Would you be turned on by such timidity?


I don't see assertiveness and being direct as 'timidity'. I would question why you do? I see it as a sign of maturity and respect, and yes it does turn me on.

owned xxx




Rochsub2009 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 9:26:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ramzaruglia

I'm really not good at socializing.



Well, if you're not good at socializing, then you probably don't have the dominant personality needed to get her to submit in the first place.  I'm just sayin'.......  [;)]



Icarys -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 9:27:34 AM)

quote:

Doesn't mean I'm not submissive, just that I'm not submissive to you.

Keep repeating that Dorothy. One day you'll make it home.



Icarys -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 9:28:52 AM)

quote:

You get your cues from a sub's eyes - they're different to those of some feminist nazi; VERY different...!

Isn't that the truth.



NavyGirl18 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 9:38:53 AM)

quote:

Shhh. Men talking.
tsk, tsk! I've told you to mind your manners in front of your betters. Go stand in the corner and be a good little boy while the ladies and I are talking.


<How many throws does it take to hit me right in the eye?>



OwnedFemaleFlesh -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 10:41:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

You get your cues from a sub's eyes - they're different to those of some feminist nazi; VERY different...!

Isn't that the truth.



Apart from those of us who are both feminist and submissive.

*goes to check the mirror to see if one eye is different to the other...*

owned xxx



leadership527 -> RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? (5/8/2011 10:49:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh
Apart from those of us who are both feminist and submissive.

That's not exactly fair. Carol and I also both identify as feminists. But we're 2nd wave feminists and for us it's about "choice". The whole 3rd wave, "patriarchy" thing is a whole different game. I think the phrase "feminazi" is pretty accurate for at least some portion of modern (3rd wave) feminists.



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