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-=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 2:55:14 PM

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. . . just kidding.

Seriously, I was once told that the S in BDSM didn't stand for sex and that BDSM has nothing to do with sex. I was left sorta' speechless and wondered if the person arguing that point had actually thought about what they were saying in advance.

NO

IN

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 2:56:10 PM

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Oh shit, it isn't about sex? I have been doing this ALL wrong.....

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 3:09:51 PM

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Welllllll.......it's not ne@essarily about fucking the person I am tormenting...

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 3:20:43 PM

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it doesn't have to be about sex, but sometimes it is. people have different ways of defining that.
is it "about sex" when you're literally fucking someone? is it "about sex" when you're wailing on someone with a bat and getting hard over it? =p is it "about sex" when you're having no response whatsoever but the person you're whacking is?
for some people, outright sex is required to make it "about sex," and for others, anything that illicits a "that's hot" response = sex.

personally, i think sex and BDSM go very well together, and i generally prefer SOME S&M with sex. i also generally prefer life within a D/s context, sex included. =p haha

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 5:02:06 PM

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I like to think its not all about sex, but I have to admit, the knowledge that I will get a mind blowing, toe curling, can't talk or breathe or think or move, throbbing from head to toe, orgasm sho nuff helps me be obedient.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 5:19:04 PM

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M/s no
d/s no
bdsm yes
s/m yes and no

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 5:46:09 PM

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M/s yes
d/s yes
bdsm yes
s/m yes

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 5:50:28 PM

Arpig

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Yeah, what sunshine said.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 5:56:32 PM

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Absolutely is for me
makes me squshy
squshy is sexy hot n arousing
YEAH its Sex

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 6:02:49 PM

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I admit the majority of the time sex doesn't even come into play for me. I don't get wet everytime he orders me to to research something or to make sure I clean up something. I don't think about sex when I'm doing chores or tasks or making sure he's taken care of. I don't get my rocks off because he has the power in our relationship. It just is that way for us.

Now if we're just talking about getting beat and fucking and all that stuff then yeah most times it's about sex....for either him or me or both of us but that's all just a very tiny part of our lives.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 6:07:05 PM

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I dont live with my BDSM partner... our time together is very much squshy
so it is for me, I am far from suggesting it is the same for everyone:)

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 6:27:06 PM

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Oh yeah....if I am scening with someone....well....I am getting laid. On the up side of that...so are they.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 7:21:04 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

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Most of the time, for me it truly is about sex. I can get hawt from obeying a simple task. Or even from hearing a command that has nothing to do with sex. However, there are times when I'm getting beaten as a bottom & there's nothing sexual about it. Then it's all about the pain: feeling the pain, processing the pain, taking more than I think I can take & then taking more than that.

I had a scene on my birthday with a straight female sadist. It was really really wonderful, but there was no sex involved. There was a lot of sensuality & a whole great gob of pain, but it really wasn't sexual.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/23/2011 11:56:53 PM

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I know little wonder I seemed a bit facetious there but I really wasn't.

There's something about a man who just takes charge. Even if it's "the chair goes over there."

Hello. I'm sunshine, and you're something.... (If there is an accent or another language involved, I may just go supernova)....

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/24/2011 1:30:51 AM

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If it's a scene with someone elses Dom/me or sub .. it's about the BDSM/play and has nothing to do with sex.
I can beat a painslut but that doesn't mean he gets a bonus fuck for participation.
A Dom demonstrate rope technique on me but that doesn't mean he gets a bonus blow for good execution.
For some, BDSM may be all about sex but that doesn't make it a rule which is carved in stone.
Now, if you were referring to people in a relationship or who agreed to sex with their scene .. then, yes, it can be about sex.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/24/2011 1:46:51 AM

PdxJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Seriously, I was once told that the S in BDSM didn't stand for sex and that BDSM has nothing to do with sex. I was left sorta' speechless and wondered if the person arguing that point had actually thought about what they were saying in advance.

. . . . . . . . ummmm. . . . . .did I miss something? When did the 'S' change to meaning sex? The 'S' stands for sadism.
And, BDSM isn't about the sex, or rather, doesn't have to be. I always liked the quote - "Sex is just the icing on the BDSM cake".

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/24/2011 3:57:10 AM

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Somebody is going to get off on it....might as well be ME!

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/24/2011 4:33:40 AM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

And, BDSM isn't about the sex,

Oh yes it it is!! It's all about sex! I'm not saying I get turned on by washing the dishes, but when I'm doing that and I am wishing I didn't have to, I think of why I am doing them. And then, yes, I get turned on. Just belonging to Hanners turns me on. Anything that reminds me that I am her slave turns me on. Every day is like some long strange internal mental fuck that just never ends.

When the alarm goes off and I get up while Hanners rolls over to get some more sleep, it starts. It goes on all day, ebbing and flowing but never going away, until I fall asleep in her arms. I am having the most wonderfully intensely private and personal form of sex from the moment I wake up til the moment I fall asleep. Everything I do for her or that she does with me is sexually charged in my mind.

When you can bring yourself to the brink of orgasm by doing housework, then you know its all about sex. I've been there repeatedly, so don't even try telling me its not about sex.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/24/2011 4:39:19 AM

PdxJ

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Is that as far in to the sentence as you got?

Did you miss - "or rather, doesn't have to be" ?
And I stand by what I said - it doesn't have to be. Granted, most of the time, sex is involved but it doesn't have to be.

But, on a side note, your description of your views on your relationship and slavery were beautiful.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/24/2011 5:37:45 AM

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I'm with PdxJ on this one. For quite a few people, BDSM isn't about sex (or at least not entirely about sex), and "S" stands for submission. Some people, like myself, just don't have much of a sex drive to begin with, and enjoy the unparalleled level of closeness and intimacy that BDSM can provide. For me, it's all about subspace and knowing that my servitude makes another person happy, if only for a little while.

There are all kinds of kinksters, and we all have our own preferences. Next time you meet someone who thinks BDSM has nothing to do with sex, don't just stand there "sorta' speechless" and wonder, but use the opportunity to learn a new perspective on kink and expand your intellectual horizons.

< Message edited by WebWanderer -- 5/24/2011 5:45:18 AM >

(in reply to PdxJ)

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