RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships?

RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (Full Version)

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sexyred1 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 11:45:33 AM)
Heather, I hope you never wake up from your wonderful dream either. :) It is sweet the way you describe your relationship. As one of those "older" women you mention, I will tell you that all serious relationships, whether D/s or not are memorable and make an impression. My ex husband was really not that into BDSM, yet I will never forget our time together. I would venture to say that it is the persons involved that make the biggest impact, not the activities or dynamic.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 12:19:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave Isn't prolonged BDSM just a form of extended roleplay, pure fantasy not unlike furries. No...it's not.

OwnedFemaleFlesh -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 1:26:23 PM)
There's a difference between roleplay and role-taking. Roleplay is me acting like something or someone I'm not, such as when I dress up as a schoolgirl and pretend to be in trouble with the headmaster. Role taking is me acting like something I am, for example, a domestic submisive who cleans the home and cooks all her Owner's meals. There is nothing unreal or pretend about this, I do it every single day. If this is pretend, then so is my job, my personality and any other long standing feature of my life. It could be that, for you, crawling round on the floor and saying yes mistress is roleplay, rather than roletaking. You might see it as a deviation from your normal life, and not something to be continued once you have lost the urge. But for others who are more 'lifestyle' this is as real as anything else in their life. owned xxx

TheCabal -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 1:38:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave I find I migrate to bdsm after vanilla relationships because I desire structure for a while with less emotion. Is this what BDSM is? I think you've got it backwards. To me BDSM is normal, and vanilla relationships and people are for people who are willing to settle and compromise rather than risk being alone. Those poor, sick, twisted, vanilla creatures can't cope with being alone, so they repress themselves to be the square peg in someone else's round hole. And frankly, there's something horribly, horribly, mentally f-ed up with those people.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 2:07:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheCabal quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave I find I migrate to bdsm after vanilla relationships because I desire structure for a while with less emotion. Is this what BDSM is? I think you've got it backwards. To me BDSM is normal, and vanilla relationships and people are for people who are willing to settle and compromise rather than risk being alone. Those poor, sick, twisted, vanilla creatures can't cope with being alone, so they repress themselves to be the square peg in someone else's round hole. And frankly, there's something horribly, horribly, mentally f-ed up with those people. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sirssubk2008 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 3:44:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave Isn't prolonged BDSM just a form of extended roleplay, pure fantasy not unlike furries. Extended roleplay is a possibility for some people, I'm sure however, once something becomes a reality, it is no longer a fantasy.

PhilSlave -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:26:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirssubk2008 quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave Isn't prolonged BDSM just a form of extended roleplay, pure fantasy not unlike furries. Extended roleplay is a possibility for some people, I'm sure however, once something becomes a reality, it is no longer a fantasy. Ahh, but how real is it in reality?

fallon0627 -> RE: I have a humilation kink and want it to be fed... (5/26/2011 4:31:30 PM)
[:D] Poke

Arpig -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:31:49 PM)
quote: To learn all that while while wallowing in an ocean of sensual pleasure, depravity and orgasmic bliss, well that's just got to be some sort of dream, right? An awesome statement. And wouldn't you know it...another fucking lesbian!!!!!! OK, enough is enough, you straight sluts had your chance...open google....type: "sex change ottawa"...hit enter... Say...ugly bull dykes are still popular with the pretty little femmes right?

Arpig -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:35:33 PM)
quote: Ahh, but how real is it in reality? Phil, its real because she can't sit comfortably for a week.

PeonForHer -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:39:10 PM)
For me, normal relationships occurred because I couldn't get a BDSM relationship. So, the opposite, really.

PeonForHer -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:40:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheCabal I think you've got it backwards. To me BDSM is normal, and vanilla relationships and people are for people who are willing to settle and compromise rather than risk being alone. Those poor, sick, twisted, vanilla creatures can't cope with being alone, so they repress themselves to be the square peg in someone else's round hole. And frankly, there's something horribly, horribly, mentally f-ed up with those people. Wow. More strongly put than my own statement - but I sympathise.

PhilSlave -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:41:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig quote: Ahh, but how real is it in reality? Phil, its real because she can't sit comfortably for a week. Haha, I like it; however, that's a physical reality of a mental flight of fanct.

strangedesire -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:42:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig Say...ugly bull dykes are still popular with the pretty little femmes right? Oddly enough, it seems that way.

littlewonder -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:50:33 PM)
My relationships no matter if someone called it "vanilla" or "bdsm" looked exactly the same except for one minor detail...one I called "Master" or "Sir", another one I called "hon" or his name. Other than that not much for me was ever different...both were in control of the relationship, both liked the same kinds of "kinks", both liked to be the head of the household, both liked to hold power, whether they ever heard of bdsm or not. When someone first told me about bdsm I couldn't understand what the difference was. I still really can't.

handful -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:51:28 PM)
That is like asking Gays if they are that way because they can't cut it as a straight man. I am what I am because it's my personality type, not because I can't 'cope'. I crave the control, the submission to a strong man!

PhilSlave -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 4:55:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: handful That is like asking Gays if they are that way because they can't cut it as a straight man. No it's not.

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 5:40:57 PM)
quote: No it's not. It is because I said so. So there [sm=lalala.gif]

DemonAngelSW2010 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 6:15:07 PM)
http://thingsthatmakeyougosmd.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/evil_treasure_trolls.jpg The trolls have invaded! Ok seriously I debated with myself to even write here because you seem to be, at the least, nit-picking to come up with the answer you want. Or in other words you seem to just be poking at people for the fun of it because you like it and don't want real answers or real questions. Now to actually answer your questions: 1. Is BDSM for people who find they cannot cope with normal or vanilla relationships? For some the answer, obviously, is yes. For others the answer is, just as obviously, no. 2. I find I migrate to bdsm after vanilla relationships because I desire structure for a while with less emotion. Is this what BDSM is? Yes and no. No, it is not ALL that BDSM is. Yes, it is (by your own words) what BDSM is to you. 3. Isn't prolonged BDSM just a form of extended roleplay, pure fantasy not unlike furries. Well that depends. Are you talking about a scene? Are you talking about how and what people are? Are you talking about a relationship dynamic? A doctor is still a doctor at the end of the day whether he (or she) is treating patients or not, a teacher at your local high school did not roleplay getting their degree, they do not roleplay teaching the class (though they may roleplay to teach the class. My drama teacher was definitely good at roleplay otherwise I doubt she would have been teaching drama)....now if your teacher or doctor somehow roleplayed their way through school and their degree I would be very, very afraid. Seriously, I don't want the mechanic pretending to be a doctor. I want my doctor to be a doctor. If I want to submit to a man in my relationship and his is the final say then that means I am submitting to the authority of the man in my relationship. It isn't like I decided hey I want to be the Easter Bunny for today! Dress up in a bunny suit and start delivering carrots. Similarly I could decide I want to roleplay the cartoon character Bugs Bunny but no matter what fancy rabbit costume I have, how many times I say What's up Doc? or how many carrots I nimble on....I'm still not going to turn into Bugs, it isn't real. However, I can be submissive to a dominant and that is real. Point being, humans are humans no matter what, relationships are relationship no matter what label you put to them. Furries (no matter how much I might love anthropomorphic art and the look of fursuits) are human, they are not part tiger, dragon and unicorn no matter how much they may want to be. So while they cannot actually be the animal or anthro or were...what have you...they, technically, are still real. 4. Ahh, but how real is it in reality? Really, you really have to go there? Well here let me hit you upside the head with a baseball bat and let us see how real it is in reality....cause I am betting in reality you'll end up with a nice big goose egg on your head! Ok so I wouldn't really hit you upside the head with a baseball bat even if I knew where to find you which I am so not interested in. 5. Haha, I like it; however, that's a physical reality of a mental flight of fanct. In response to it's real because she can't sit comfortable for a week you write the above. Really...it is? So then basically everything anyone does is a physical reality of a mental flight of fantasy by that logic wouldn't it be? Ok if we're talking about me being Bugs again (don't ask me why I had to pick a bog rabbit of all things)...no matter how hard I might fantasize and put on costumes, I am not going to turn into Bugs or in other words = fantasy is still a fantasy no matter how much I roleplay Bugs. However, me fantasizing about being bound with rope then actually being bound with rope = fantasy turned reality. But hey maybe I am wrong and I'm not getting your logic. Maybe in fact I have no logic and live in fantasy land while you live in reality. Either way you now have my two cents whether you wanted it or not. WinD - Just wanted to let you know, I loved that response.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/26/2011 6:31:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: sirssubk2008 quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave Isn't prolonged BDSM just a form of extended roleplay, pure fantasy not unlike furries. Extended roleplay is a possibility for some people, I'm sure however, once something becomes a reality, it is no longer a fantasy. Ahh, but how real is it in reality? Not only is your view of bdsm skewed but your view of a furries lifestyle.... Hop on a plane and come on over to Philly... Im can show you several very real examples of both those involved long term in this life where none of this is fantasy... but those involved in the furry lifestyle. What you see on CSI is not an honest depiction of how the lifestyle honestly works... and while im sure your nothing more then a fool with a humiliation fetitsh getting off on us telling you your wrong, or some bored little boy who just got out of highschool for the summer with nothing better to do then mess around with the adults.... I warn you, when you poke a hornets nest repeatedly, eventually youll get stung, and when that happens i hope to the gods you learn...

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