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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 4:12:56 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

As a straight sub female, I enjoy it because of the sexual objectification. He wants me, he bends me over and takes me, and I get to feel his physical strength in the process. What's not to like in that? However there's a huge added enjoyment because it's g spot time which means great physical orgasms as well. Add in the fact he can pull my hair or spank my ass, and it's hard to imagine much better. I also enjoyed it with my vanilla ex simply because of the g spot stimulation.

But I don't like my head pushed into the pillows, my allergies are such that I prefer my nose being free.


We can agree on the g spot stimulation but I just don't feel objectified at all, that would be the instant turn off, if he wants an object, he can go and fuck an inflatable doll, it's actually comfy, we both have freedom of movement, I can push back as light or as hard as I want, I can keep my legs together or apart (also makes a difference with the depth) and depending where I am in my cycle deep penetration might be painful (don't like my cervix being banged), it's a lot more comfy than being on top or being below and yeah, he has his hands free and can play with my nipples and my clit... He better not gets any ideas of spanking my ass if he wants to keep his hands...


So to review:

You're a Domme who enjoys doggy-style sex and/but you have your own ways of maintaining who's really in control, esp should he "get ideas"...?

Dunno what all the previous fuss was about but thankyou. :)

You're not inclined to get as verbal as some of the previous Dommes?

Focus.



Nope, I'm a woman who enjoys sex, sex doesn't always have to be dominant or submissive, I enjoy a hell lot of other positions as well, I like being in control quite a lot but sometimes sex is just enjoying sex for the sake of a good fuck and having orgasms.

Maybe some anatomical details will help, he's got a bit of a curve (as most guys do) and doing it from behind he stimulates my g-spot amazingly well, now would I be on top, I'd have maybe have one orgasm, from behind having 2 or more within a rather short time is almost guaranteed due to the right stimulation. Now wouldn't it be quite submissive to forgo one or several orgasms because I would think I have to be on top to maintain control? I would kinda mess with my fun, that's not very controlling, that's like cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Actually to tell the truth, most of the time I can't be bothered doing it from behind because multiple orgasms are pretty exhausting and if I have to get up at 4 am to get to the airport in time and catch a flight or I'm going into a meeting that's going to be tough, I rather just have one, but if I'm in the mood for a few, I have no problem getting "serviced" from behind.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 4:19:54 AM   
Focus50


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
That's the thing; you don't necessarily need what you never had. If women and Dommes don't have the brute strength relative to their male partners, and the vast majority don't, then they don't fuck that way.... So yeah, I was kinda curious as to how Dommes do adapt in that particular circumstance.

Not sure why you think I wouldn't believe you but do drop by anytime to tell me what you don't care about. Though I think you're over-compensating somewhere in there....

Focus.

Ah, OK, you're confused.  Let Me see if I can help you out a bit.

It's not all that hard to take a man down.  There's this lovely sweet spot on the side of the thigh.  One well placed knee will drop him.  A good kick to the back of the ankle will put him on the floor.  Side of the knee?  Same thing.  Ohhh.  A shot to the jugular?  More than enough time.  Any random self defense class teaches this.  My boy is over a foot taller the Me.  Want to bet I can drop him like a stone?

Brute strength isn't needed.  Simple lessons in anatomy. 



It also helps if the male in question is conflicted about never hitting a lady (esp his Domme), including the one assaulting him.

Me, I'm not so conflicted about *anyone* attacking me like they mean it; that women have all the anatomical weakensses you describe and that if you really have been in a stink, you'd know there's nothing remotely easy about finding any of those marks on someone simultaneously looking to do you serious harm. Which kinda puts the bigger/stronger thingy back in perspective - IF you've ever been in a brawl....

NOW I'm confused...! Anything on the topic?

Focus.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 4:27:39 AM   
LadyConstanze


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Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Focus, my martial arts teacher is one of the scrawniest looking guys ever, you'd think coughing would blow him away or a woman slapping him would send him flying, if you ever saw him competing, you'd think twice about looking at him the wrong way, though he's one of the most mellow guys ever but he's fast as lightning and he knows all the pressure points. No amount of muscle can compete with that, until big muscly guy would have landed his punch, he'd be out cold.

Now if it comes to just pure strength, yes, guys tend to be stronger, but your regular guy against a woman who means business and has a martial arts background? She's got double advantage of being more skilled and that most guys just rely on physical strength and don't expect a woman to fight back. The funniest thing I've ever seen was a very dainty friend of mine, a real ballet nut, she was hassled by a bloke and gave him several warnings, he got hands on (again), she had enough and gave him a backhand that sent him flying, she does look like a fragile elfin little creature - appearance can be very very deceptive and ballet dancers are amazingly strong.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 4:32:33 AM   
Focus50


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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

This is not the conversation technique I would have chosen if I had wanted lots of femdom to chime in joyfully with answers to my question.


Pfffft...; chicken!

;)

Focus.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 4:55:52 AM   
Focus50


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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Focus, my martial arts teacher is one of the scrawniest looking guys ever, you'd think coughing would blow him away or a woman slapping him would send him flying, if you ever saw him competing, you'd think twice about looking at him the wrong way, though he's one of the most mellow guys ever but he's fast as lightning and he knows all the pressure points. No amount of muscle can compete with that, until big muscly guy would have landed his punch, he'd be out cold.

Now if it comes to just pure strength, yes, guys tend to be stronger, but your regular guy against a woman who means business and has a martial arts background? She's got double advantage of being more skilled and that most guys just rely on physical strength and don't expect a woman to fight back. The funniest thing I've ever seen was a very dainty friend of mine, a real ballet nut, she was hassled by a bloke and gave him several warnings, he got hands on (again), she had enough and gave him a backhand that sent him flying, she does look like a fragile elfin little creature - appearance can be very very deceptive and ballet dancers are amazingly strong.


I've been in a few too many fights and while I've never attacked a woman (or anyone, frankly), I absolutely will not stand there and be attacked because of some perceived social taboo. Ok, a smaller/weaker opponent will likely bring a measured response but if it's someone my size or bigger, I won't be "easing into it" in the hope he gets bored and goes away.

We'll just hafta disagree on the size and strength thing. While it's a joke these days, the elite heavyweight boxer (for eg) will still have it all over a lightweight opponent who's much faster and generally more nimble. The thing is, the lightweight may land 10 unanswered blows to his cumbersome foe but the bigger/stronger opponent can and will absorb them. But if the heavyweight lands just one; it's all over. Which makes the heavyweight's tactics rather simple - step straight in and throw offesnsive punches.

Look, every dog has its day and I don't doubt your scrawny teacher is generally quite formidable. It's just that my experience of r/l rarely sees the outcome Hollywood likes to script. I mean, I can still see Bruce Lee taking down 20 opponents - one at a time. But if 3 or 4 would just rush him at once - unhampered by the script....

Just curious (and including LP), this isn't the kind of thing going through your minds during doggy sex, is it? lol

Focus.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 5:19:41 AM   
Focus50


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Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


Nope, I'm a woman who enjoys sex, sex doesn't always have to be dominant or submissive....


No it doesn't, but power isn't often too far away.... I can think back to a couple of vanilla BJ's that ended abruptly because I grabbed the girl's hair or head etc. Looking back, what changed is that an act of sex became an act of power and even humiliation.

Which is what inspired this topic.... Males are generally bigger and stronger and, during doggy sex, they're also in what I term the power position. Not many seem to like or appreciate that simple fact in here, but we are! In the spirit of "every dog has its day", I always knew my fellow dominants of the female variety would have a way of countering that power perspective but wasn't exactly sure how.

I can't seem to find it now but someone recently (you, perhaps?) mentioned she can control a blowjob merely by knowing she can stop anytime she likes. Such a simple concept - that never once occurred to me. But also things I don't otherwise lay awake wondering about, either....

That's it; I'm tired and my internet's being a real tool. More things I can't control, dammit - time for bed.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 6:36:31 AM   
LadyConstanze


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Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't mention it but somebody else did and I agreed, I mean think about it, guys tend to have sensitive bits and they are attached to it, teeth, stopping,s tarting, being in control of his arousal and all that...

I can't talk about humiliation during sex, it's an instant turn off for me, even if I'm in the driver's seat, squids me out, but then again sex for me is something very very personal and I've been so selective with sexual partners that some people labeled me a prude, I'm everything but not a prude, if it's the right guy, I'm just selective, part of it is due to coming of age when AIDS was very much a theme and it was clear that it's not a disease just for druggies and gays.

I think the whole physical strength is completely overrated, I mentioned my dogs before, if you see them demolishing the leg bone of a cow and biting through to get to the marrow, you realize that your bones are much more fragile and they are physically much more powerful than I can ever be, however I am the pack leader and I am in control of them, despite the fact that they could rip me to shreds in a heartbeat. I used to do a lot of horse riding in my youth, now a horse is damned powerful, the best results are not achieved by "breaking" a horse, but by gaining the trust and making it do what you want it to do, not even the strongest guy could fight a horse and win against flailing hooves, they crack your skull a lot easier than you can crack a peanut. A lot of other things despite physical power give control.

As you said, a simple act turned it for you from sex to an act of control, true, but you could only do that because she let you do that, if she'd have screamed rape and abuse, I guess you wouldn't be posting about it now. So it's not always about physical power.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 6:39:57 AM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

I can't seem to find it now but someone recently (you, perhaps?) mentioned she can control a blowjob merely by knowing she can stop anytime she likes. Such a simple concept - that never once occurred to me. But also things I don't otherwise lay awake wondering about, either....


This is very true. The control is mine. I can get a man to pop in a few minutes... or make it last for hours. I adore having that kind of control, listening to him moan, his, even bitch....

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 7:01:31 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		I apologize, but I can't help to feel that this topic is quite silly.

Maybe its just my person view, but why is the issue of sex being made complicated?

I had sex for 6 hours yesterday and part of this morning, I'd say half that time, my boyfriend was taking me from behind. Its not about control at all, its about what feels good for the parties involved. My g spot can be hit super easily (like 2 strokes-type of easy) that way, and since my boyfriend is taller, it can be easer to have full range of me if I am bent over and my hips are higher up.

Who is in control isn't relevant.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 7:16:47 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		MissA, yep, but that is a female approach, we don't try over-complicate things, it feels good, so yeah, go for it because unless you're very Catholic and only have sex for reproduction, most people do it because it feels good.

I mean no guy would flip a car upside down to fix something at the bottom of the car, just because being underneath the car could be seen as a submissive act, you do what gets the best results.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 7:21:10 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


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quote:

I apologize, but I can't help to feel that this topic is quite silly.


I agree. When I was a newish domme, I had all these rules about what was and wasn't dominant. Sucking cock wasn't dominant, doggie-style wasn't dominant, hell sex itself wasn't dominant. Letting the male come wasn't dominant, letting the male see me come wasn't dominant. Showing tender human emotion was out of the question, just not dominant enough for me.

Now, I will remind those who don't remember that I am the classic "little women." There are very few adult males who are not bigger and stronger than me. And I felt a very physical disadvantage, and that I had a lot to prove to be a "real" dominant female.

Turns out all that BS wasn't necessary in the least. In my relationships, submission starts in the mind and the soul. Capture that and the body easily follows. Rules might be okay and even necessary for beginners, but you know you are really doing it right, for you and yours, when you can throw the rule book out and just do what comes naturally, secure in your dominance.

JMO, YMMV.




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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 8:31:39 AM   
SthrnCom4t


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Status: offline 		Is it just me, or does the thought of 40 clothespins come to mind?

Sthrn

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Indeed, and especially when my dick's involved!

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 8:59:28 AM   
MissAsylum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

I apologize, but I can't help to feel that this topic is quite silly.


I agree. When I was a newish domme, I had all these rules about what was and wasn't dominant. Sucking cock wasn't dominant, doggie-style wasn't dominant, hell sex itself wasn't dominant. Letting the male come wasn't dominant, letting the male see me come wasn't dominant. Showing tender human emotion was out of the question, just not dominant enough for me.

Now, I will remind those who don't remember that I am the classic "little women." There are very few adult males who are not bigger and stronger than me. And I felt a very physical disadvantage, and that I had a lot to prove to be a "real" dominant female.

Turns out all that BS wasn't necessary in the least. In my relationships, submission starts in the mind and the soul. Capture that and the body easily follows. Rules might be okay and even necessary for beginners, but you know you are really doing it right, for you and yours, when you can throw the rule book out and just do what comes naturally, secure in your dominance.

JMO, YMMV.






I believe if i was that focused on fitting sex within the confines of what is being dominant, it would take a great deal of intimacy of of the act.

Who wants that in their life?

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 9:14:09 AM   
RedMagic1


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Status: offline 		Pics, or it didn't happen.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 9:16:05 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
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Status: offline 		stop trying to see me naked. i already have a partially nude photo up.

men can never be satisfied

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 10:46:42 AM   
mummyman321


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t

Is it just me, or does the thought of 40 clothespins come to mind?

Sthrn


Now that just sounds like evil fun. It wants to make me Howl at the moon!

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 11:00:41 AM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
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To the Ladies of Ask a Mistress,

Now, this is going to be off topic but ...

Why are you feeding the troll?

This man is obviously not interested in the answer to his question. He seems very interested in belittling some of the women on this board and thus proving in his mind that he is adhering to the 'twue way'. Wouldn't it be more productive to simply not engage this person?

Wickad

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 11:47:22 AM   
SpyUnderCover


Posts: 208
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover


I am also a Domme that enjoys being entered from behind (although calling it "doggy style" sounds kind of tacky to me). I like the way it feels overall, and the amount of depth my partner can achieve. And I don't think a man's being "on top" physically has any bearing on the power dynamic between the two people. If a woman is dominant, her dominance will go much deeper than a sexual position.


Yeahhhh..... but.....

I mean, I don't need female wiring to rationalise what you're saying here (in a generic sense). If a Domme didn't enjoy doggy-style...., errrrm..., end of story?

I'm wondering if you get from a male perspective that being above and behind; of gripping the female etc is powerful and (non-lifestyle) dominant in its own right...? It's primal and animal etc. Which is why I'm asking the mechanics and intricacies of how Dommes overcome that....

Focus.


I agree that it's "primal and animal." I agree that the act can be powerful for both parties. But I don't think that necessarily equates to dominance or to being dominant, and I don't think there is anything for Dommes to "overcome" in our approach to the position. Now, if it makes you feel dominant, and that's what you want to feel, than go for it. But there is more than one way to perceive and interpret the act.

And while I'm thinking about it  ...  several months ago there was a thread or two about male subs initiating sex with their Dommes, and/or about them engaging in aggressive or [gasp!] rough sex with their dominants. Can anyone point me to one or more of those threads? I wasn't sure what words to use to try to search for them.

Spy

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 12:01:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
It also helps if the male in question is conflicted about never hitting a lady (esp his Domme), including the one assaulting him.

Me, I'm not so conflicted about *anyone* attacking me like they mean it; that women have all the anatomical weakensses you describe and that if you really have been in a stink, you'd know there's nothing remotely easy about finding any of those marks on someone simultaneously looking to do you serious harm. Which kinda puts the bigger/stronger thingy back in perspective - IF you've ever been in a brawl....

NOW I'm confused...! Anything on the topic?

Focus.

I'm actually enjoying *this* topic much more.  I highly doubt I'm the only Dominant woman out there who wouldn't permit their boy to strike them with full force.  If clip ever clocked Me, it would mean his collar.  Game over.  That's even his PTSD taken into account.  In his case, I've been able to tap into that level of control.  Don't ask Me why.  I'm not especially sure that I can tell you.  If I could, I'd happily share the secret with the wives of a number of males coming back from war zones, where such things have been a problem.  Perhaps something that we should discuss at another time?

On the actual topic, I'm afraid that I'm at a loss.  Being female, I'm more than well aware that different sexual positions produce different stimuli.  I have always been told (and believed) that it's the same for men.  I'd almost have to feel sorry for My male counterparts if it wasn't.  It's bad enough that you males can't orgasm several times within the hour, but this, too?  That's the short end of the stick if I ever heard it.

I said this on the other thread.  If this stuff even enters someone's head during a good fuck, you might just be doing it wrong.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 5/29/2011 12:03:14 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/29/2011 12:45:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		we ARE talking about consensual sex, right? Because if I am not defending myself from a rape, I am out to have a good time.

If mister gets ahead of himself and breaks one of my rules (ie: NO hair pulling, ever, he will learn his error swiftly. As to BJ's: women have TEETH. Penises are made of tough, fibrous material, but I can assure you that any woman is in control of a cock that's in her mouth. She might choose to relinquish that control, but never doubt it's there.

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