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RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 4:12:20 PM   
OhBeMyMind


Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
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Thank you for that very well thought out explanation.  Admittedly I can really understand now what it was intended to 'protect', unfortunately I can't say that I agree with it anymore now than I did when it made absolutely no sense. 
If there is some 'bloody fool' (love that term) that doesn't take no for an answer, a collar sure isn't going to stop them either (maybe in such extreme situations a restraining order of protection granted by a court of law would be more appropriate).  Friends are great to help out in someone's time of need in such instances, though (again, in my opinion) no collar required. 
Anyway, thank you for sheding some light on this topic, I wasn't OP but at least I learned something new.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear subshine2005, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In the 1990s, when thing were getting more "Internet" exposed and a few self titled Masters were floating around, and slaves were getting caught up into situations, as few "caught on" that there were clueless folks around, abusing the trust and titles of "Masters" and "Mistresses" the community in the support venue, started to think on how to offer a real big "bugger off" to the whanker, controller and unkind folks.  So, the "Protection Collar" was created.
 
It was not to stiffle the freedom of the slave and their efforts in finding happiness and such but, a means to use it if you had a bloody fool trying to impose themselves on a slave all alone.  But, I will add; that Protection Collars weren't offered like candy.  There really had to be a big concern.  You know the sort, ex-Masters that make a former slave's life miserable and thwart any effort of another to get the slave's neck.
 
Because, of the known and practiced protocols, another Master had to talk to the Master of the collared slave.  This was enforced.  Now days, good luck.  It just made sure that the slave was comfortable, protected and had somebody to step in if things got out of hand. 
 
It would be no different than to inform a DM or host/hostess that you would like special attention, should X or Z becomes a problem.  In big crowds and dungeon dances, well -- sometimes a collar would be given for that time, no different than a play collar, just using the term protection collar as not to cause a misunderstanding of goofing around collar aka play collar, that had no meaning or association to a dominant.  I'm sure slaves who got into a situation could use that collar as 'protection.'  But, as was put in post already-- We're all adults and can take care of ourselves.
 
I have had occassions where I had been approached and asked to be around them, as they were scared of someone or had issues.  I was "there" and I suppose I could be intimidating enough to some bloody rude chap, as to make 'em back off.  In these incidents, I was asked to "protect" them.  But, I did not collar them.
 
The ones who needed protection from some, I really would be agreeable to collaring them, because they are good slaves and need protection from those who can't understand the word "no."
 
I really would keep an open mind on this "use" of protection collar as, it is a case by case situation.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs


_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 4:36:01 PM   
puella


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I personally think this is very offensive to those who have a genuine respect for the meaning of a collar.

What do you need protection from?  And if the person is not willing to really collar you, do you think if you ever really needed protection they would stick around?  They didn't think enough of you to collar you...I would think not.

Its like play acting at something that is profoundly meaningful to a great many people.

(in reply to OhBeMyMind)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 4:46:19 PM   
OhBeMyMind


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From: Panama City, Florida
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I totally agree with you Puella, thanks for bringing that point up, I can add it to the other reasons I personally do not agree with 'protection collars'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I personally think this is very offensive to those who have a genuine respect for the meaning of a collar.

What do you need protection from?  And if the person is not willing to really collar you, do you think if you ever really needed protection they would stick around?  They didn't think enough of you to collar you...I would think not.

Its like play acting at something that is profoundly meaningful to a great many people.


_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 4:55:44 PM   
LadyHugs


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Dear puella, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I do feel, that those that request "protection" really seek it from dominants they trust and respect.  So, those who aren't 'velcro' collar sorts that do ask for a "Protection Collar," really respect the collar and it's meaning.  They do not make light of the request for such a collar as well.
 
The slaves that I've witnessed asking for protection collars have a bond that exists indeed.  But, those days are long forgotten and perhaps such "Protection collars," are not practiced in every region. 
 
Those slaves who ask for my protection, will have it-- I don't need a collar to give it but, I can understand why one would want to wear it.  A sense of belonging, even for a day, as well as having all the benefits of belonging to a dominant offering the protection.  I also feel, that those who do scenes with me, wear my collar until the scene is ended.  So, while wearing my collar I take seriously my duty to that slave, until it is removed.  In this capacity they are indeed "protected."
 
I do agree with you 100%, that there are those of us who deeply honor what the collar means, represents and the associated responsibilities.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 5:23:37 PM   
piscess


Posts: 101
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I do not even understand the need for a 'collar of protection'
 
piscess

(in reply to subshine2005)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 5:40:51 PM   
puella


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Yes that is part of my problem with it too , piscess...

Protection collar?  A bunch of rogue Masters are going to fight their way to you and abduct you from the bar at the local BDSM club (which doesn't even sell alcohol) and throw you into a life of non-consensual bondage and only your collar of protection will save you, like some sort of superhero paraphernalia??

A protection collar.. is going to save you from?......A 'scene' going terribly badly and your ass turning into welt-ville?

A protection collar is going to .... save you from yourself?  Is that it?  Save you from your own inability to make a good choice, your own indecision, your own insecurity, your own... lordy..are you not capable of making an intelligent decision on your own behalf? Are you not really ready to be accountable for your actions and choices and this 'collar' provides you with an escape route in the package of a Master/protector/personal Jesus?  Could that possibly be the real reason you are looking for a babysitter... er.. .Master ?

If you are in a temporary collar with restricted, fanciful access and regulations,  and reasons for its very being... it is not anything BUT a velcro collar, and a mockery to what a collar should be.

The meaning of a collar is something sacred to me.. so all this sham of a collar of protection or a temporary collar is nothing but a person or two, hiding their own agendas and iniquities behind something that is very meaningful and very precious to those who take a collar very seriously.

Wooo look at me rant!

(in reply to piscess)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 5:45:22 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
Offering protection collars - apply here.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to pistachio)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 5:48:56 PM   
OhBeMyMind


Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline
You are my hero of the day!
All that I wanted to say bundled up in that glorious explosion! 
Thank you!


quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Yes that is part of my problem with it too , piscess...

Protection collar?  A bunch of rogue Masters are going to fight their way to you and abduct you from the bar at the local BDSM club (which doesn't even sell alcohol) and throw you into a life of non-consensual bondage and only your collar of protection will save you, like some sort of superhero paraphernalia??

A protection collar.. is going to save you from?......A 'scene' going terribly badly and your ass turning into welt-ville?

A protection collar is going to .... save you from yourself?  Is that it?  Save you from your own inability to make a good choice, your own indecision, your own insecurity, your own... lordy..are you not capable of making an intelligent decision on your own behalf? Are you not really ready to be accountable for your actions and choices and this 'collar' provides you with an escape route in the package of a Master/protector/personal Jesus?  Could that possibly be the real reason you are looking for a babysitter... er.. .Master ?

If you are in a temporary collar with restricted, fanciful access and regulations,  and reasons for its very being... it is not anything BUT a velcro collar, and a mockery to what a collar should be.

The meaning of a collar is something sacred to me.. so all this sham of a collar of protection or a temporary collar is nothing but a person or two, hiding their own agendas and iniquities behind something that is very meaningful and very precious to those who take a collar very seriously.

Wooo look at me rant!


_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 5:50:21 PM   
piscess


Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
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subshine,
 
The best person to protect you is you.    Learn what it is you want, learn how to respond to people, and trust your own judgement.  There is nothing wrong with asking someone that you trust for advice, but only you can protect yourself.
 
Advice:  Toss out the protection collar and don't accept another..smiles.
 
piscess

(in reply to subshine2005)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 5:50:56 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
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Doll, trust me.. there are much better choices to be your hero, but thanks.

(in reply to OhBeMyMind)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 6:00:57 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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I've been having bad dreams lately...someone please protect me from my own devices
Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 6:01:32 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
Lady Hugs,

I have long thought you were the only blowhard on here worse than me, but today you have surpassed even my greatness.  While you MAY be right that people in tiny little groups in backward states played with things like "collars of protection," that sort of crap is laughed at as idiotic by anyone serious in San Francisco, the home of the second oldest BDSM group in the US and an urban area where there are multiple play parties every weekend, classes going all the time, munches nearly every night of the week, and play spaces that see hundreds of people over a weekend.

So, before you set up your little table selling your compact disk, PLEASE qualify your experience before you deign to speak at how things are or used to be.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 7:59:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
Offering protection collars - apply here.

Oh you little hussy slut, no fair hedging in on my newbie pieces of ass!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 8:04:41 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
Oh and another thing while while I am foaming at the mouth.

Protection collars are blackmail of the worst sort.  "If you go without one, god knows what will happen to you" is the implicit warning of the blackmailer.   Worse, this provides some sort of control to someone who clearly has no business wielding any.  This way, they send someone new into the scene and not only get to control them but anyone who desires any sort of interaction with someone who is by definition, seeking various forms of interaction.

However, I hear they work great in yahoo chat rooms.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 9:53:56 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
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When I went to my first private play party a friend offered me a collar of protection. He's been in the scene for many years and knows me well enough to know that I am new enough, and submissive enough, to have a difficult time saying "no". (There are reasons for that which aren't germaine to this discussion.) His collar would mean something where I was going, which is why he offered it. It would have been a way for me to go, not play, and not be harassed about not playing.

As it was, I chose not to take the collar simply because I know I need to start telling people "no". Another Dom friend, who I trust, was there and watched out for me so the collar wasn't needed. But it was something that I appreciated being offered.

For those of us who are coming out of abusive relationships where "no" results in very negative consequences and just getting our feet wet in the lifestyle community, it can be very reassuring to have a collar to point to so we have some back-up to our "no".

It may not work for you, but it would have been nice for me if I had actually needed it.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 10:10:06 PM   
theRose4U


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Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

I've been having bad dreams lately...someone please protect me from my own devices
Kevin


Honey I don't think they make a protect you from yourself collar yet. If they do it's going to be right next to the protect me from wanting more cheesecake collars and the please don't break my new nails collar.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 10:12:31 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
Lizzie,

I would recommend against going to a party where you would be "harassed about not playing"    Hell I know groups that banned hugging because their was concern some were abusing the practice and performing nonconsensual touching of others!

quote:

  As it was, I chose not to take the collar simply because I know I need to start telling people "no". Another Dom friend, who I trust, was there and watched out for me so the collar wasn't needed.


Even the goofiest of BDSM group doesn't drag off "uncollared" submissives into some dank dungeon, only in bad porn and chat rooms does that happen.  So, your collar would have been respected by those with respect and it would have been ignored by those with no manners.  Same deal if you went naked with a ball gag and a butt plug, so what does the collar do for you except provide the equivalent of a security blanket?

In case anyone is missing my point, I am not saying submissives should not be offered security, I am just saying they are either safe or they aren't and that if someone will not provide advice, knowledge, protection, etc WITHOUT you wearing some symbol of theirs, you just might want to question their motives.

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 10:28:49 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear CrappyDom;

SIR--No matter what I do or say, what documentation, witnesses and or other creditials I produce; you have demonstrated that you do not respect, recognize and or cease in attacking my name, reputation, credibility, knowledge, skill and expereinces.  Your instant dislike after my first post is evident, the bias/prejudice known which, should disqualify any post as being anything other, than another ripe opportunity to cause conflict and on a consistant adversary stance.

SIR-- I will say again, that I care little how big or how small groups are.  It is the quality of the membership and the spirit of intent.  That said, I have yet to have any knowledge, documentation, proof and or individuals that will establish you as the omnipotent judge of all M/s, D/s, S&M and BDSM on a local level through the International level.  I have yet to have any knowledge, documentation, proof and or individuals that will establish you and or any specific group; e.g. Society of Janus, Threshold, etc., as an omnioptent authority, court of judgment, council and or have the power to demand my creditials, documentation, evaluate my skills, knowledge and experiences.  In addition, you know full well that "name dropping" is not looked on as having good taste; so I will continue to resist any effort of yours to disclose who I know and how I have come to know them.  Just know that my works are with the Leather Archives, on CD.

SIR--In Washington, DC there is The Crucible, to which has weekend dungeon parties with many attending.  It is the largest BDSM club on the East Coast.  Black Rose which is known in the past for conventions that, even those from the West Coast attended and vendor sold their wares.  Washington, DC is host to Mid-Atlantic Leather, Master-slave conventions three years in a row, M/s contests and hosted other large events.  Attending those, as well as smaller groups in Virginia, Maryland and or West Virginia does not mean that the East Coast is not worthy. I do not see the need to attack groups, due to my association with them or vice versa.  There are plenty of International title holders that live in the metropolitan Washington, DC area; which support and participate in this community.

SIR--I take great offense to your words, which imply that I set up a little table and sell CDs.  I have not sold CD's, floppy disks before CD-ROMs from the beginning and presently.  I will point out to you, that 1) You have no CD of mine, as to review and or pass judgment on.  2) If you had my CD, you would have documentation from an independent source.  3) Even if reading and reviewing the CD as a professional critic, those who have read, reviewed the CD have found things of use to them.  To me, that is all that matters to me. 4)What personal experience, knowledge, information, skills that I earned first hand is mine.  It is mine to share, mine to keep and that is my right, regardless of any one and or many demand it.  5)
If skills, knowledge, information have been witnessed/demonstrated to another, for example an extremely well respected author and community member, then they pass away; it does not mean that the skills, knowledge, information is no longer credible. 6) If skills, knowledge, information have been witnessed/demonstrated to another, to which the passage of time goes undocumented and or witnessed by every disgruntled individual, does not mean that the one that is attacked openly, challenged openly and or have demands to submit proof as to establish credibility, with the exception of a court of law, to which I am ready to do when necessary--does not mean it does not have credibility.

SIR--If you wish to attend the Master-slave conference in Washington, DC this July, then you will be afforded an opportunity to meet the many friends and or associates of mine and personally challenge their credibility as well as mine.  I am sure they will want to challenge yours in return.

SIR--I am a peace loving individual.  I am active in my lifestyle and community, which will cause periods of time where I am absent.  I do not wish to give those reading and or you, that appearance you have weakened me and run me off, as if a coward.  Since you know I will be occupied, your timing will make another opportunity for your continued mission to destroy me.  Although I am baffled as to what I did to be your target to destroy.  I will waste no time on the matter.  But, I will be prepared.


Lady Hugs

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 10:30:48 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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Oh boy.  Is a "collar of protection" (I'm sorry, every time I read it I think of the "cone of silence" in Get Smart.  But My synapses are sadly twisted.  All of Me, actually, is sadly twist...I digress).   Is a "collar of protection" just Chatroom Silliness, as Crappydom says, or worse some sort of demeaning attack on a submissive's free will as Lucky Albatross says?  No.  It is a simple protective device (as LadyHugs said).

I prefer to call it "Mentoring" and leave off the collar aspects.  And it can be valuable.  It can indicate that the submissive is learning the ropes, whips and clamps.  It can provide some protection at a play party, and if the DMs are informed, a LOT of protection.  I agree with crappyDom that I would suspect that the "Master" who freely offers a new submissive previously unknown to that "Master" a "collar of protection" is just trying to get into his/her pants.  However, I think there is legitimacy in giving someone a bit of protection.  Dungeons can be scary places.

And having served as a DM/security type in LARGE D/s events, I will tell you that I welcome honest, ethical mentoring.  I and the rest of the DM team cannot be everywhere.  

E.

(Oh, and as for a "c of p" being demeaning...someone should remember Eleanor Roosevelt.  "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  Works for Doms and subs alike)


_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: protection collar? - 5/13/2006 10:38:32 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
quote:


Original: LuckAlbatross
Oh you little hussy slut, no fair hedging in on my newbie pieces of ass!


Didn't your mom ever teach you to share 



_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 40
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