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Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:04:45 PM

DeviantMan

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline

Inspired by a thread I just read, and a conversation I had LONG ago, I had this thought... and I want to run it by the Dommes/Doms mostly, and see if they agree...

What I thought was...
We know the roles... Master/slave, Dom/sub, etc... but... are the Masters the true Masters, (Or Doms the true Doms)... or is it that , in practical reality, the real Masters are the subs?
What do I mean, now...
imagine a session...
The Dom will tie up the sub, whip her/him, use a flogger, toys...
Might tie them on an X-cross, or use hooks to hang them, if they are into a deep pain session...
Will have to wear a certain uiform (Dommes/Dominatrixes mostly), that requires effort to put on, and discomfort in warm environments....
in short, the Master indulges in considerable labor, while the sub "suffers", or rather enjoys, the whole process...
so, under that scope, who is the real Master?

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

Post #: 1

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:11:47 PM

PdxJ

Posts: 195
Status: offline

lmao - this should be fun thread.

I have heard and seen this discussed before and it never gets answered to anyones satisfaction.
It's like asking which came first - the chicken or the egg.

_____________________________

Imagine what you could learn if you could learn to imagine.

the 'Official Sunny Stalker'

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 2

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:23:38 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

This may sound rather odd, I tend to explore myself rather deeply through a submissive/slave and grow in the process. There are a lot of others things to consider besides all the work going into topping somebody. In fact, a good submissive will learn and put work into giving body massages, body worship and many other things. Then again, to step out the scope of kink/sex/S&M activities. One can find and take pleasure in the Museful creativities, such as art and other things. There are far too many talents and skills that can be enjoyed compared to just Sex/kink/S&M play. Other forms of pleasure, entertainment or whatever you wish. Could be even one's killer coooking or Mix Drink making skills. Pleasurable service. It's a whole different game to explore things in regards to what you do or not take pleasure in regards to food or drink. Priceless to have or own somebody that is willing to be of service in the manner. As well as sexual or being the bottom end in kinky play, or S&M. Them simply offering their body to be used and explored in this manner is rather Yummy! You might take pleasure in the way Hot Wax looks upon their skin, watching it flow, enjoy the sounds and responses that they make.

The things with being Master, it's up to you regarding how much work you put into things, as well as the work your slave/submissive puts into things. You just need to step back and take a look at the Bigger Picture of things. Something besides tieing them up, flogging or using them and what they have to offer in a limited manner.

Being Master/Owner or whatever title is far more encompassing in my book and always has been. Just my thoughts upon the matter.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 6/5/2011 3:26:49 PM >

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 3

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:23:58 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

*looking around to make certain Ma'am isn't around.

Such a silly question, in whatever situation... I am the boss!

But seriously, I believe that the submissive has, or should have, ultimate control over what happens to their body. But that control does not make them the master. Perhaps in a just for play relationship, but in an actual D/s situation there is so much more involved beyond the play that there is no question of who is in charge.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to PdxJ)

Post #: 4

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:31:00 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I don't mean to be dismissive, Dev, but really?

Why is this an either or question? Is it not true that both are enjoying themselves? Or is it only one person who enjoys fucking? Only the chef gets to enjoy the food making the food or can the diners also enjoy adding a little salt or cooking at the table? The teacher who loves to teach and the students who enjoy learning - but also teach the teacher. Obviously something must be wrong if the teacher is learning something, if the diners are adding to the cooking experience!

Your question begins with a couple of inaccurate presumptions.

1. Only one person is able to have their wants met, to have some modicum of control.
2. By giving someone what they want, the top is not getting anything from it / is not in control.
3. That any of this is new. We were talking this same question in the 80s.

Do you really think that doms wear clothes they don't want to wear? Do you really think that the dom is not enjoying the process? I don't know how they enjoy what they do, but I trust them when they say they like it. I trust that they do enjoy watching the way their choices alter another person.

In the end, generally speaking, each person is the master of their own fate - they may turn the sailing of their ship over to another for a time, but in the end it's still your damn boat. If it isn't being taken care of, it will sail away...

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to PdxJ)

Post #: 5

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:39:27 PM

DeviantMan

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline

sunshine dear, no offense taken. :)
First, I already mentioned about a discussion I had LONG ago. And, I never mentioned, or meant to hint, that the Dom of my suggestion takes no pleasure from his efforts. I also never questioned the emotional, or mental if you like, definition of roles.
That said, the fact that this entire process is considerable effort, remains.

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 6

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:44:10 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

True that!

It's a lot of work - takes a lot of creativity. *I* wouldn't want to work that hard! But for *them* it's not work.

Look, I spend a lot of time honing my craft, it's something I enjoy and it's dang hard work. I look at someone who plays guitar and think "thank goodness I don't have callouses on my fingers from playing guitar. That would suck!" And then I look down at my own fingers and realize I do have one - where the pen sits on my finger when I write. It's been there for so many years that I don't even see it anymore. It's the price I pay for *my* craft. But MY craft isn't work. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. THEIRs is!

It's all about what brings you joy I guess.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 7

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:46:18 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

in short, the Master indulges in considerable labor, while the sub "suffers", or rather enjoys, the whole process...
so, under that scope, who is the real Master?

I can't answer for anybody else, or about any setup but our own. And for us, the answer is clear: Hanners is.

No question, no doubt about it for even a moment. She dresses how she pleases, its me who has to dress up when and how she wants (she does like me in leather, so NS's nickname for me was very appropriate, and its very hot and uncomfortable sometimes.). I am tied up when she wants me tied up, and I am totally free and expected to just hold still for whatever she has in mind when that is what she wants, or I fight back and struggle when that is what she wants.

In the Mistress' forum, they often complain that they are treated as if they are kink-fulfillment units. For us it is the other way around; I am Hanners' kink-fulfillment unit. I don't really have any particular kinks or fetishes other than her pleasure. We explore the things she is interested in exploring, we do the things she wants done. Whether or not I want to do it, or enjoy doing it isn't a major consideration.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 8

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:48:07 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
....
Do you really think that doms wear clothes they don't want to wear? Do you really think that the dom is not enjoying the process? I don't know how they enjoy what they do, but I trust them when they say they like it. I trust that they do enjoy watching the way their choices alter another person.

In the end, generally speaking, each person is the master of their own fate - they may turn the sailing of their ship over to another for a time, but in the end it's still your damn boat. If it isn't being taken care of, it will sail away...

best,
sunshine

sunshine, you hit the nail on the head with your reply. There's one thing that I myself took pleasure in today, while talking with an EX from nearly 20 years ago. She was very appreciative for one night when i said something to her, where it effected her life in a positive way for years. That it struck a chord in her own life deep enough to shape and mold it. Truly Amazing, in a good wonderful awesome way. I'm sincerely not part of the playing around only crowd when it comes to BDSM. It's not limited to some scene or Topping Actvitity, to me that's just play and not a lifestyle. Where as things are a part of the way of living life. Which does not including living life with a 24/7 scene. One can be Boss/Dom/Master 24/7 regardless of what activities are going down. Be it watching Movies, or even walking hand in hand together on a beach. Even going out to a shopping Mall, and even in parks and other places. I really think people miss out on all the other activities and aspects of life, by getting trapped or rather stuck on what's considered BDSM play activities. Also, I enjoy the sensation of feeling wax on my own skin! It's priceless to sit or lay there having somebody drip it on my skin. I don't even have to be tied up and treated like slave meat or somebody little bitch boy to enjoy it either!! Then again, it's something that is pleasurable for me. Something that I love and enjoy, anybody doing it knows it without any doubt.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 9

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:50:10 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

Inspired by a thread I just read, and a conversation I had LONG ago, I had this thought... and I want to run it by the Dommes/Doms mostly, and see if they agree...

What I thought was...
We know the roles... Master/slave, Dom/sub, etc... but... are the Masters the true Masters, (Or Doms the true Doms)... or is it that , in practical reality, the real Masters are the subs?
What do I mean, now...
imagine a session...
The Dom will tie up the sub, whip her/him, use a flogger, toys...
Might tie them on an X-cross, or use hooks to hang them, if they are into a deep pain session...
Will have to wear a certain uiform (Dommes/Dominatrixes mostly), that requires effort to put on, and discomfort in warm environments....
in short, the Master indulges in considerable labor, while the sub "suffers", or rather enjoys, the whole process...
so, under that scope, who is the real Master?

What a crock of shit.

I am sorry, but I agree with Miss Sunshine on this....

I know of not one Master or Top who is going to indulge in a session with a submissive or bottom, AND NOT ENJOY THEMSELVES a great deal. What's more, none of them would ever say that it is 'labor intensive' and unenjoyable to 'indulge' the one they are playing with.

Where do people come up with this shit?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 10

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:52:49 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

In Regards to how I dress, it's how I please. I also love being about to pick out what I find pleasing to my tastes. They can rest assured that I like what they are wearing and that they are pleasuring to look at. None of this insecurity and worry about what the hell to pick out and if I will like it or not. They will never end up wearing something that I find unpleasing or ugly. Don't have to deal with any of that Vanilla insecurity or worry about being pleasing or not, don't have to deal with issues when it's not pleasing! Actually keeps things rather sane and simple if you ask me. LOL

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 11

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 3:57:14 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
....
I know of not one Master or Top who is going to indulge in a session with a submissive or bottom, AND NOT ENJOY THEMSELVES a great deal. What's more, none of them would ever say that it is 'labor intensive' and unenjoyable to 'indulge' the one they are playing with.

Where do people come up with this shit?

I'm dieing for a labor intensive workout with a certain flogger!! Oh Yeah Baby! Bring on the Hard Work!! I wanna see skin turn rosey red, hear the sounds, watch the squirms... Way better than playing with a ZhuZhu Pet or whatever else. LOL..

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 12

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 4:08:02 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

Inspired by a thread I just read, and a conversation I had LONG ago, I had this thought... and I want to run it by the Dommes/Doms mostly, and see if they agree...

What I thought was...
We know the roles... Master/slave, Dom/sub, etc... but... are the Masters the true Masters, (Or Doms the true Doms)... or is it that , in practical reality, the real Masters are the subs?
What do I mean, now...
imagine a session...
The Dom will tie up the sub, whip her/him, use a flogger, toys...
Might tie them on an X-cross, or use hooks to hang them, if they are into a deep pain session...
Will have to wear a certain uiform (Dommes/Dominatrixes mostly), that requires effort to put on, and discomfort in warm environments....
in short, the Master indulges in considerable labor, while the sub "suffers", or rather enjoys, the whole process...
so, under that scope, who is the real Master?

In our relationship, I have no say in how/when/if our play sessions happen, except if I'm ill or in too much pain to play. So I have to say that he is definitely the Master even during a play session.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 13

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 4:56:55 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

sunshine dear, no offense taken. :)
First, I already mentioned about a discussion I had LONG ago. And, I never mentioned, or meant to hint, that the Dom of my suggestion takes no pleasure from his efforts. I also never questioned the emotional, or mental if you like, definition of roles.
That said, the fact that this entire process is considerable effort, remains.

All I can tell you was when I was put in that position, he would have me feel his erection to let me know what it did for him.... so I suppose it was as much for his fun as it was for mine. But he and I didn't have this "master" "slave" thing going on. He was simply "daddy", and daddy did what daddy wanted. And if he didn't want to, he wouldn't

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 14

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 5:11:38 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

wow..what you describe is SOOOO not our relationship lol.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 15

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 5:50:19 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan
We know the roles... Master/slave, Dom/sub, etc... but... are the Masters the true Masters, (Or Doms the true Doms)... or is it that , in practical reality, the real Masters are the subs?

In practical reality Master has me doing all sorts of things that make his life easier like keeping his house clean and laundry done. I would hardly say that makes me Masterly to be in charge of his laundry.

quote:

imagine a session...
The Dom will tie up the sub, whip her/him, use a flogger, toys...
Might tie them on an X-cross, or use hooks to hang them, if they are into a deep pain session...

all things that make him smile that happy smile

quote:

Will have to wear a certain uiform (Dommes/Dominatrixes mostly), that requires effort to put on, and discomfort in warm environments....

Master doesn't play dressup ... darnit does this mean he isn't true?

quote:

in short, the Master indulges in considerable labor, while the sub "suffers", or rather enjoys, the whole process...
so, under that scope, who is the real Master?

i don't always enjoy it. I enjoy the aftermath. I enjoy our dynamic. I do not always enjoy every specific act we do though.

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 16

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 6:06:26 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

I would hardly say that makes me Masterly to be in charge of his laundry.

Bite your tongue! When you control the supply of clean underwear you have the real power in the relationship.

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 17

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 6:19:48 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

lol true ...

By The Power of Gain ..... (Joyful Expression cause it smells so pretty) I will rule the universe!!!!!!

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 18

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 6:30:53 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

By The Power of Gain

Je t'adore!!

(in reply to coookie)

Post #: 19

RE: Something that came into my mind... - 6/5/2011 6:33:19 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

yaaaay

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 20

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