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Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 7:22:04 PM

truemasterjedi

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/20/2011
Status: offline

I've taken great care to fill out a detailed profile. Why not take a look and shoot me any questions/comments you may have.

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 9:16:33 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

WOW! Just back from reading your detailed profile. You need to work on it harder, y'know? At least a couple of typos and there was an odd, unfinished, hanging sentence. But my personal favorite was:

You will speak the words the master tells you to, look the master in the eye with [with what? There's a missing word. Maybe "respect." Oh, I get it "look the master in the eye with fear"] only when invited, laugh only after he he does, and cry [only] when permitted.

If the "master" laughs "ha ha," is that permitted or ONLY "he he"?

Basically you've written THE classic "porn profile." Oh, porn for YOU! Includes the "breed me a son" bit. :::SIGH::: Oh, yeah, some call it the "Stepford Slave" advertisement.

Absolutly NO woman will respond to this piece of creative writing. Women here are interested in a relationship with their Master. Your "Mind Control" section is such a turn-off, I was thinking, "How to let this 29 year old BOY down gently." Then I decided there was no way to do so. Hehehehehe. Oh, wait, no disrespect.... I meant "he he." Nah, I did mean to show you how ridiculous you are being. (And, btw, at the age of 61, yes, you are a boy to me.)

As to you being a Master, trained by Masters that you have exceeded in your "power," Lord Almighty, m'boy. I've been in the scene almost as long as you have been alive, and I'm still learning. Many / most here would answer "Is Lance Hughes a Master?" in the affirmative, but when I get a CMail, starting "Master Lance; would you train / consider me?" I respond that I have not yet found the slave that will be allowed to call me "Master."

As to finding female slaves here, they have the upper hand. PLENTY of male Doms / Masters around, looking for female slaves. Tell, you what.... <WARNING! Serious advice ahead> Go read some female slave profiles and see how well they might respond to your nonsense, er... profile.

Short version, writ large: GET OVER YOURSELF.

P.S. Welcome to the message boards. Usually we greeters say something like "Hope you find what you're looking for," but in this instance, I can't lie.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/21/2011 10:04:31 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 9:31:36 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Lance nailed it. I have no use for pretentiousness, and your profile is full of it. And "Your master is called a Jedi by others because he stands part from normal men" is wrong - "Your Master is called a Jedi because all his friends are dorks who think that Star Wars is kewl" is more like it.

Look, fella. Just read some profiles, such as Lance's, to see how real people present themselves.

That said, welcome to collarme.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LanceHughes)

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 9:40:22 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

I found it totally silly and pretentious and if it was full of anymore hot air and posturing there'd be no room for a sub to get in there to even say the words to "start the process"

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One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 9:43:42 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

FANTASY LAND ..... CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:04:54 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

Welcome to CM, jedi-dude.

quote:

The master is irreplaceable, unlike you. You will love the master and despair a life without him. You will know the safety of his protection, but remember that if you fail him, you will be replaced with a worthy one of many others who desire to take your place.

Soooooo...how's that line workin' for ya? Yoohoo, any s-types home? Anybody? No takers? Awwwww...better luck next time.

OK Lance, here you go:

Hope you find what you're looking for, jedi-dude.

OP, you might want to have a look at the post here to see what happens to young 'uns such as yourself when they put out a banner-ad for their profiles on this forum. They get an education...right quick!

You might also wish to have a look here :
Though it is aimed at submissive men looking for dominant women, you would do well to read and heed the advice on how you present yourself on your profile (but only if you wish to actually succeed in meeting real women here).

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 7/21/2011 11:00:06 PM >

(in reply to truemasterjedi)

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:12:15 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Lance nailed it. I have no use for pretentiousness, and your profile is full of it. And "Your master is called a Jedi by others because he stands part from normal men" is wrong - "Your Master is called a Jedi because all his friends are dorks who think that Star Wars is kewl" is more like it.

Look, fella. Just read some profiles, such as Lance's, to see how real people present themselves.

That said, welcome to collarme.

Thanks for the compliment DS. Maybe you wanted to correct the OP as "Your Master is called a Jedi because you are a dork who thinks that Star Wars is kewl." DS, your way of putting it assumes that the OP has friends. LOL!

Sorry, OP. I'm usually not that snarky, but you have put me in a rare (for me) mood. I'll wager that I have written less than one such nasty message a year.

Oh, and if you're still reading, OP, darkSteven's profile bears emulating as well.

ETA: To paraphrase LadyPact: "People don't leave the movie theater after seeing 'Lord of the Rings' and expect to be in Middle Earth."

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/21/2011 10:35:43 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:18:51 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I lost my dominant composure and actually giggled! That made me roar unladylike.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:21:41 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*would love video of that*

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:22:31 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
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and with that, ..... May the force be with you -----> ALWAYS

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:26:11 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

awwww...I think he's adorable!

Can we keep him? Can we? Canwecanwecanwe???

Welcome OP - I think it's going to be fun with you around here!

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There's nowt so queer as folk

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:33:00 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Greetings Master Jedi,

First, if it pleases You, an offer to You of warmest regard and a heart-felt welcome to the Collarme forums.

Your profile is amazing and there is much of trembling flesh about as these words are typed to You. You have yet to hear from a slave on this issue and with all due respect to the dominants who have already responded it is quite obvious They are jealous of Your supreme magnificent self. It is with regret and most unfortunate that such lowly flesh as responds now to Your posting has been taken by a lessor dominant but were this useless object, worthy only of contempt and scorn .. were it free, Yours is the sort of profile which would attract this vile meat if only these unworthy hands could type to You the words required to give everything into Your most exalted care.

With humble regard,

zero without You

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:33:03 PM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline

Oh my. Such a pretentious little boy. I have been approached by quite a few young Doms, but none with a profile quite as bad as this one. One of the very first "friends" I met on CM is a 28 year old who I talk with every day, we've even exchanged cell phone numbers so that we can text one another. However, if his profile had been anything like OPs, I'd have viewed him as a poser and deleted the very first cmail.

(in reply to JanahX)

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:36:59 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Greetings Master Jedi,

First, if it pleases You, an offer to You of warmest regard and a heart-felt welcome to the Collarme forums.

Your profile is amazing and there is much of trembling flesh about as these words are typed to You. You have yet to hear from a slave on this issue and with all due respect to the dominants who have already responded it is quite obvious They are jealous of Your supreme magnificent self. It is with regret and most unfortunate that such lowly flesh as responds now to Your posting has been taken by a lessor dominant but were this useless object, worthy only of contempt and scorn .. were it free, Yours is the sort of profile which would attract this vile meat if only these unworthy hands could type to You the words required to give everything into Your most exalted care.

With humble regard,

zero without You

*snort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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Post #: 14

RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:37:58 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Greetings Master Jedi,

First, if it pleases You, an offer to You of warmest regard and a heart-felt welcome to the Collarme forums.

Your profile is amazing and there is much of trembling flesh about as these words are typed to You. You have yet to hear from a slave on this issue and with all due respect to the dominants who have already responded it is quite obvious They are jealous of Your supreme magnificent self. It is with regret and most unfortunate that such lowly flesh as responds now to Your posting has been taken by a lessor dominant but were this useless object, worthy only of contempt and scorn .. were it free, Yours is the sort of profile which would attract this vile meat if only these unworthy hands could type to You the words required to give everything into Your most exalted care.

With humble regard,

zero without You

Bita - you are scaring me! Please stop that kind of talk NOW!

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/21/2011 11:05:36 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

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Post #: 15

RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:52:27 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Welcome to the forums, OP.

Reason 867 why I'm not a slave. Some things are just too darn funny *not* to laugh at.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LanceHughes)

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 10:52:48 PM

DarthVaderOfLove

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/17/2011
Status: offline

I have a silly Star Wars name, but had a lot of fun earning it from a charming young geekette a few years back. And in defense of Star Wars nerds, I'd like to say that I personally think those Princess Leia metal bikinis are prttty freakin' cool. However any Star Wars geek worth his salt would have taken a Sith or Imperial name, Jedi typical don't go around using that mind trick thing to impregnate people. I'm too inexperienced to fully grasp how dumb this is, in the BDSM community, but I can tell you that the Star Wars geek community would likely have his head on a pole, out front, as a warning to those who may follow.

< Message edited by DarthVaderOfLove -- 7/21/2011 11:04:50 PM >

(in reply to LanceHughes)

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RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:00:12 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarthVaderOfLove

I'm too inexperienced to fully grasp how dumb this is, in the BDSM community, but I can tell you that the Star Wars geek community would likely have his head on a pole, out front, as a warning to those who may follow.

Oh, dear, I'm not really sure that you want to know. Not unless you really want a migraine with the power of a death star.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarthVaderOfLove)

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Post #: 18

RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:01:32 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarthVaderOfLove

I have a silly Star Wars name, but had a lot of fun earning it from a charming young geekette a few years back. And in defense of Star Wars nerds, I'd like to say that I personally think those Princess Leia metal bikinis are freakin' pretty cool. However any Star Wars geek worth his salt would have taken a Sith or Imperial name, Jedi typical don't go around using that mind trick thing to impregnate people. I'm too inexperienced to fully grasp how dumb this is, in the BDSM community, but I can tell you that the Star Wars geek community would likely have his head on a pole, out front, as a warning to those who may follow.

::jumps in front of Master Jedi in an act of surpreme self-sacrifice::

Ack!! The Dark Side!! Stay away from the Chosen One you vile arbiter of evil!

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to DarthVaderOfLove)

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Post #: 19

RE: Master seeks slave for TPE - 7/21/2011 11:04:39 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Welcome, OP.

I was pleased to find that we DO have something in common, taken from your profile:

quote:

No corruption of minors, abuse of animals or dangerously unsanitary actives shall be permitted.

Jedi.. jeez.. you werent even BORN when Star wars came out!

gawd, I feel old....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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Post #: 20