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Is masturbation still sex, and other random questions... - 7/30/2011 7:31:26 PM

NuevaVida

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OK my mind is having fun running with thoughts from another thread in General Discussions. So here's some questions to throw out there, to see what people think:

1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

2. Do you consider masturbation to be a sexual act?

3. Do you masturbate in front of your partner? And, if so, do you consider it to be sexual? Is it meaningful when you do?

4. Do you masturbate over the phone with your partner? Do you consider this sexual? Does this have any less meaning than masturbating in person?

5. Do you get off watching your partner have sex with others? Would you consider that masturbation, since you are not actually being touched?

6. Any other thoughts on couples (or relationship groups) masturbating within the relationship?

Edited to number the questions - great idea, DeviantlyD

< Message edited by NuevaVida -- 7/30/2011 7:45:11 PM >

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 7:42:47 PM

DeviantlyD

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From: Hawai`i
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Even though you didn't number them. ;)

1.) It would be, if I had a partner. Living large in the celibate lifestyle right now. :D

2.) A sexual act? Hmmm...yeah, sexual.

3.) Well, considering 1.) I would say that I would only masturbate in front of my partner if he wanted me to do so. Otherwise, I'm not motivated to do so. Again, yeah, sexual and meaningful? Not to me, possibly only meaningful in the sense of doing it for him.

4.) I would...if I had a partner. Yes. Probably...I have to theorize on the answer.

5.) If I had a partner, I wouldn't. Can't answer the second part of this, since the first part doesn't apply.

6.) Nope. Whatever floats your boat, it's all good if that's what you're into.

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 7:44:56 PM

littlekitten1

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Well... I see it as this :)

There is mental sex, and then there's physical sex.

Physical sex is the exchange of physical pleasure like fucking, or oral and stuff... Tangible things.

Mental sex is when there is an exchange of mental pleasures beyond the primal, instinct-based physical aspect.

So... When my dom decides to do a humiliation session, or even a pain session... It's like... Physical mingled with mental sex. Even if there wasto be no physical involvement, i'd still consider it sex because we both get sexual pleasure from it, and I feel like there is a form of exchange.

I guess by that definition, mutual masturbation could be regarded as sex too, if it feels important enough, and there's enough sexual/mental exchange to deem it a full session.

I dunno... am I making any sense? ._.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 7:48:39 PM

NuevaVida

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DeviantlyD - thanks for the replies (and the numbering comment!)

littlekitten - Interesting point - mental versus physical. What camp would you say masturbating falls in? One or the other? Both? Is mental stimulation as meaningful (if it's meaningful at all) as physical to you?

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 7:54:09 PM

DeviantlyD

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I'm not littlekitten, but I'm going to answer your question to her anyhow. :D I can't see masturbation falling into exclusively one category or the other. I think it's largely mental, but there is definitely a physical aspect in achieving an orgasm. If a person doesn't achieve an orgasm...well, that's a more complicated issue. ;)

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 8:04:53 PM

Tantriqu

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1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

Absofuckinglutely
2. Do you consider masturbation to be a sexual act?
Uhhh, YES!
3. Do you masturbate in front of your partner? And, if so, do you consider it to be sexual? Is it meaningful when you do?
Only if he's bound ;-) Uhh, Yes. Yes, it's punishment when he can't contribute to my orgasms. Conversely, since I believe in orgasm control, he's not allowed to masturbate, and can orgasm only when I decree.
4. Do you masturbate over the phone with your partner? Do you consider this sexual? Does this have any less meaning than masturbating in person?
Only if one of us is travelling. Uh, YES! Different meaning altogether, since it's literally release and relief, and a way to participate in sex together thousands of kilometers away.
5. Do you get off watching your partner have sex with others? Would you consider that masturbation, since you are not actually being touched?
No, I'm only interested in a monogamous relationship. No, that's cheating.
6. Any other thoughts on couples (or relationship groups) masturbating within the relationship?

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 8:12:50 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

OK my mind is having fun running with thoughts from another thread in General Discussions. So here's some questions to throw out there, to see what people think:

1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

But of course! Very important with each partner.

quote:

2. Do you consider masturbation to be a sexual act?

Very, very much so.

quote:

3. Do you masturbate in front of your partner? And, if so, do you consider it to be sexual? Is it meaningful when you do?

I don't ever masturbate unless He allows it. Sometimes He has me do it for Him. I consider it very sexual and it means alot when He allows me/requires me to do it for Him.

quote:

4. Do you masturbate over the phone with your partner? Do you consider this sexual? Does this have any less meaning than masturbating in person?

When we lived 800 miles apart, I did it over the webcam at least a couple times a week and sometimes just over the phone. Very sexual and very hot. Of course, I'd rather be in the same room and touch and be touched but there were some very hot times. Hope it's not TMI to say that the first time I ever squirted, it was on webcam following his instructions, masturbating.

quote:

5. Do you get off watching your partner have sex with others? Would you consider that masturbation, since you are not actually being touched?

Oh my yes!!!! No, I really wouldn't consider it masturbation if I wasn't physically touching myself. Again, hopefully not TMI, but one of my favorite fantasies is watching him with another woman and having to watch but not be allowed (at first...lol) to participate or masturbate. Yep, I'd love to be a cuckold (if that's the proper term for women).

quote:

6. Any other thoughts on couples (or relationship groups) masturbating within the relationship?

Just that it's a very fun and hot thing and I support it wholeheartedly

luci

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(in reply to NuevaVida)

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 8:19:29 PM

gungadin09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

i would hope so.

2. Do you consider masturbation to be a sexual act?

Yes.

3. Do you masturbate in front of your partner? And, if so, do you consider it to be sexual? Is it meaningful when you do?

Yes, when i'm asked to. Yes. What do you mean by "meaningful"?

4. Do you masturbate over the phone with your partner? Do you consider this sexual? Does this have any less meaning than masturbating in person?

Not unless i'm told to. Yes. It has no meaning to me except the fact that i'm complying with an order.

5. Do you get off watching your partner have sex with others? Would you consider that masturbation, since you are not actually being touched?

i've never watched any of my partners have sex with others. i would consider that voyeurism not mastrubation.

6. Any other thoughts on couples (or relationship groups) masturbating within the relationship?

No.

Edited to number the questions - great idea, DeviantlyD

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 7/30/2011 8:20:25 PM >

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 8:21:16 PM

winspiritsbaby

Posts: 141
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

OK my mind is having fun running with thoughts from another thread in General Discussions. So here's some questions to throw out there, to see what people think:

1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you? Yes

2. Do you consider masturbation to be a sexual act? UMM yeah

3. Do you masturbate in front of your partner? I will if he wants me to, though I don't think I would choose to do it on my own accord. And, if so, do you consider it to be sexual? Yes Is it meaningful when you do? It would probably be as meaningful as most other sexual acts, so yes.

4. Do you masturbate over the phone with your partner? Nopey! Do you consider this sexual? I guess it could be. Does this have any less meaning than masturbating in person? I'm not sure if it would or not.

5. Do you get off watching your partner have sex with others? Haven't ever seen it but very doubtful that I would like it at all. Would you consider that masturbation, since you are not actually being touched? N/A

6. Any other thoughts on couples (or relationship groups) masturbating within the relationship?
Whatever works for the different relationships, I think is great...for them.
Edited to number the questions - great idea, DeviantlyD

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 9

RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 8:30:49 PM

NuevaVida

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Hey thanks for the answers coming in. I'm truly finding them interesting!

DeviantlyD - I'm glad you answered, even though you're not littlekitten. Interesting conundrum, masturbating without orgasm and whether that's still considered physical. No right or wrong answers here, just interesting thoughts to ponder.

Tantriqu - Interesting perspective to #4, in that even though you're not in each others presence, you're participating in a sexual act together. Thank you for sharing that.

Luci - To ease your mind about TMI, the first time I squirted was years and years ago, masturbating over the phone. And I had NO idea what the hell had just happened LOL. As for female cuckholding, I admit it's a fantasy of mine but I'm still a little afraid of it, to a degree.

Pam - What I mean by "meaningful" is, does it have any meaning to you beyond just a physical getting off and then going on your way? Does it affect your bond with your partner? Is there intimacy in feelings happening? (If it's too personal, no worries, I'm just asking as the questions come to mind).

One more question to toss in the ring, just because - For those who can or have achieved orgasm without touching, simply by his words, or a thought of him, or anything else, would that fall into the masturbation category for you? Is it meaningful to you when that happens?

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Post #: 10

RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 8:45:23 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

OK my mind is having fun running with thoughts from another thread in General Discussions. So here's some questions to throw out there, to see what people think:

1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

2. Do you consider masturbation to be a sexual act?

3. Do you masturbate in front of your partner? And, if so, do you consider it to be sexual? Is it meaningful when you do?

4. Do you masturbate over the phone with your partner? Do you consider this sexual? Does this have any less meaning than masturbating in person?

5. Do you get off watching your partner have sex with others? Would you consider that masturbation, since you are not actually being touched?

6. Any other thoughts on couples (or relationship groups) masturbating within the relationship?

Edited to number the questions - great idea, DeviantlyD

Answer to questions 1 - 3: Yes

Question 4.. No to part one, so the rest is moot. What a waste of cell phone minutes when he's only two feet from me and when he's away or out of the country, we tend to Skype and not use the phone.. unless you count that as the phone. Crap.. now I'm confused. Can I change my answer? lol

Question 5: No, I don't actually get off.. but I get as horny as hell and do hope that I'm next in line! I have no issues with sloppy seconds cuz I'm all into sharing thataway. I don't think I would put that into the masturbation category though.. voyeurism seems the better term.

Question 6: Just one more thing to have fun with in a variety of scenarios including but not limited to kidnapping, humiliation, objectification, role-play etc. I am so much more about expanding our horizons than limiting them so we often incorporate a variety of things into our scenes including masterbation on both sides of the kneel.

(I would only answer this question for you!)

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to NuevaVida)

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 8:54:26 PM

rawtape

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Joined: 10/31/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
OK my mind is having fun running with thoughts from another thread in General Discussions. So here's some questions to throw out there, to see what people think:

1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

I'll answer just a part of this question, but when I was a virginal lad of 12, even the notion of sex, with a hypothetical partner, was pretty darned meaningful to me.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 12

RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 9:02:12 PM

SuzeCheri

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From: Outside looking in
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quote:

1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

Yes, absolutely.
Agreed.

quote:

2. Do you consider masturbation to be a sexual act?

Yes, once again, absolutely.
Same, agreed, its solo-sex.

quote:

3. Do you masturbate in front of your partner? And, if so, do you consider it to be sexual? Is it meaningful when you do?

Yes, yes, yes.
I haven't, I'm shy to, but I would consider it sexual and yes, I think it would be meaningful.

quote:

4. Do you masturbate over the phone with your partner? Do you consider this sexual? Does this have any less meaning than masturbating in person?

Yes, yes, usually, but it doesn't have to.
Yes, and yes, and I can't say, I haven't masturbated with a partner.

quote:

5. Do you get off watching your partner have sex with others? Would you consider that masturbation, since you are not actually being touched?

Yes I do. It would be masturbation if I touched myself to get off, but just getting turned on watching wouldn't be.
I like to see that too, and I'm not sure, I think Suze is right, if you just get turned on I would call it foreplay.

quote:

6. Any other thoughts on couples (or relationship groups) masturbating within the relationship?

I love it. I'm all for it, couples should do it often, together, alone, on the phone, or just day dreaming. masturbation is good for you. Why do you think the Church frowns on it.
It can be hot, it can be useful when you aren't together, or when your partner isn't in the mood.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 9:04:12 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
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From: Hawai`i
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rawtape

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
OK my mind is having fun running with thoughts from another thread in General Discussions. So here's some questions to throw out there, to see what people think:

1. Is sex with your partner (or past partner, or hypothetical partner) meaningful to you?

I'll answer just a part of this question, but when I was a virginal lad of 12, even the notion of sex, with a hypothetical partner, was pretty darned meaningful to me.

I'm thinking that a horny 12 year old boy's definition of "meaningful" is quite different than my own. :D

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 9:11:34 PM

SuzeCheri

Posts: 483
Joined: 7/19/2011
From: Outside looking in
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quote:

One more question to toss in the ring, just because - For those who can or have achieved orgasm without touching, simply by his words, or a thought of him, or anything else, would that fall into the masturbation category for you? Is it meaningful to you when that happens?

It just happened for me for the first time last week. It was hearing her speak over the phone (a totally non-sexual conversation) and she had no idea it happened. I have no idea if it is masturbation or what it is, but it is a really frightening development that has me very confused and excited. I keep looking for excuses to phone her.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 15

RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 9:22:36 PM

DeviantlyD

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From: Hawai`i
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I rather liked Tantriqu's responses. Some of her answers better articulated my thoughts on it all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Edited to number the questions - great idea, DeviantlyD

pam

Wooo hooo! Thanks!

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

DeviantlyD - I'm glad you answered, even though you're not littlekitten. Interesting conundrum, masturbating without orgasm and whether that's still considered physical. No right or wrong answers here, just interesting thoughts to ponder.

Thanks! :) Although, even without an orgasm, I still see it as having a physical component since there is obviously physical stimulation going on - unless a person is masturbating purely by thought alone. Apparently achievable, although I've never done it myself. ;)

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RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 9:34:07 PM

NuevaVida

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Question 4.. No to part one, so the rest is moot. What a waste of cell phone minutes when he's only two feet from me and when he's away or out of the country, we tend to Skype and not use the phone.. unless you count that as the phone. Crap.. now I'm confused. Can I change my answer? lol

LOL yeah Skype counts as phone so you can change your answer.

Cuz that would be pretty funny if you guys were phone sexin while in the same room. But hey, if it makes ya happy, why not?!

quote:

Question 6: Just one more thing to have fun with in a variety of scenarios including but not limited to kidnapping, humiliation, objectification, role-play etc. I am so much more about expanding our horizons than limiting them so we often incorporate a variety of things into our scenes including masterbation on both sides of the kneel.

Awesome - I like expanding over limiting, too.

quote:

(I would only answer this question for you!)

Aw shucks...and thanks!!

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Post #: 17

RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 9:35:52 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeCheri

quote:

One more question to toss in the ring, just because - For those who can or have achieved orgasm without touching, simply by his words, or a thought of him, or anything else, would that fall into the masturbation category for you? Is it meaningful to you when that happens?
It just happened for me for the first time last week. It was hearing her speak over the phone (a totally non-sexual conversation) and she had no idea it happened. I have no idea if it is masturbation or what it is, but it is a really frightening development that has me very confused and excited. I keep looking for excuses to phone her.

That's awesome. Drop the frightened part and embrace it and enjoy!!

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to SuzeCheri)

Post #: 18

RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 9:36:53 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD
Although, even without an orgasm, I still see it as having a physical component since there is obviously physical stimulation going on - unless a person is masturbating purely by thought alone. Apparently achievable, although I've never done it myself. ;)

You know, if I could masturbate and orgasm by thought alone, that would sure make my work days a lot more tolerable!!

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 19

RE: Is masturbation still sex, and other random questio... - 7/30/2011 10:04:49 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Pam - What I mean by "meaningful" is, does it have any meaning to you beyond just a physical getting off and then going on your way? Does it affect your bond with your partner? Is there intimacy in feelings happening?

i don't like sex. The only reason i ever do it is to please the other person (whether it's BDSM, or not). But, yes, of course it's meaningful. Everything that happens between two people in a relationship is meaningful.

One more question to toss in the ring, just because - For those who can or have achieved orgasm without touching, simply by his words, or a thought of him, or anything else, would that fall into the masturbation category for you? Is it meaningful to you when that happens?

Sorry, to me it seems like a dumb question. Unless i am jerking off to porn, it is meaningful. If there is another human being involved, it is meaningful. How on earth could it not be?

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 7/30/2011 10:05:51 PM >

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Post #: 20

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